I’m in complete and utter despair and ruin. I’m pretty sure that my life is ruin. I was raised in a Christian home. Claimed to be a Christ follower my whole life and felt like I was. I have struggled with my sexual sin most of my life. When I was younger it was masturbation and occasionally still. In HS and college, I wasn’t focused on Christ. I was in relationships that weren’t God-honoring. I was in a long term one for 5 years. I’ve had sex before marriage and I’m not proud of it. In 2013, I committed myself to maintain my purity. I didn’t sleep with anyone until 2018. My prayer life, church life, worship life, Bible reading was gone. I ended up sleeping with my ex again and fell into a dark place. I then had two relationships after that and ended up sleeping with both guys. Needless to say, those didn’t work out. Why can’t I just stand up and say no like I did for 5 years? Why do I struggle with this? I hate it! I don’t feel forgiven and I feel like I’m not saved anymore even though I believe in Jesus with all of my heart. Why do I continue to walk the opposite direction? Is there any hope for this Christian girl, who has slept with 6 men, during her Christian walk? I feel completely hopeless. Please help! will God accept me back after so many countless falls?