Loss of Salvation? Is God fed up with me?

[-Sasha-]

Maybe this would be of some benefit for you:
Venerable Mary of Egypt

 

[Jonathan Mathews]

I’m in complete and utter despair and ruin. I’m pretty sure that my life is ruin. I was raised in a Christian home. Claimed to be a Christ follower my whole life and felt like I was. I have struggled with my sexual sin most of my life. When I was younger it was masturbation and occasionally still. In HS and college, I wasn’t focused on Christ. I was in relationships that weren’t God-honoring. I was in a long term one for 5 years. I’ve had sex before marriage and I’m not proud of it. In 2013, I committed myself to maintain my purity. I didn’t sleep with anyone until 2018. My prayer life, church life, worship life, Bible reading was gone. I ended up sleeping with my ex again and fell into a dark place. I then had two relationships after that and ended up sleeping with both guys. Needless to say, those didn’t work out. Why can’t I just stand up and say no like I did for 5 years? Why do I struggle with this? I hate it! I don’t feel forgiven and I feel like I’m not saved anymore even though I believe in Jesus with all of my heart. Why do I continue to walk the opposite direction? Is there any hope for this Christian girl, who has slept with 6 men, during her Christian walk? I feel completely hopeless. Please help! will God accept me back after so many countless falls?

Jesus said "every kind of sin can be forgiven" (Matthew 12:31). But God also says the sexually immoral will have their portion in the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8). You need to Trust Jesus Christ can/will/does forgive your sexual sin, and believe He will deliver you from all sexual sin. When you repent like this and ask God to give you the Holy Spirit, He will eventually free you from all sexual sin, you can be sure of that.

 

[Jonathan Mathews]

Even after I have confessed and failed time and time again?

Yes. I failed sexually SO MANY TIMES, but after years of "youthful lusts", Jesus Christ is saving me from all sexual sin, fornication, adultery, lust, masturbation, even the spirit of homosexuality.

 

[Loyce KG]

Yes, it truly hurts my heart that I have failed Him so much.

How can I do this? I can’t feel God there when I’m praying like I used to. I feel like His Presence is gone or maybe I’m just thinking that because I haven’t spent time with Him? I want to make sure that I’m right with Him tonight before falling asleep. I must.

You can't fail God by works. God is only pleased by our faith in Him (Hebrews 11:6). Even in Christ, our good deeds don't please God and thus the bad deeds can't fail Him. However, the pursuit of holiness is a walk of faith and draws us closer to God. Don't give reason for the accuser (Satan) against you.
Hebrews 12:1-3 tells us to "let go of every weight and sin that SO EASILY ENTANGLES..."
Now you know what that sin is and choose to let go by looking upto Jesus.
You seem to be struggling with sexual sin and you're not alone. I'd suggest you listen to Pastor John piper's teachings on sexual purity and breaking free. They helped me while I was struggling too.

Be accountable to someone in the faith. Don't live in anxiety worrying about when you'll fall again for where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty.
PM me if you want to talk more. I could be a friend to help.

 

[Jeshu]

Thank you all. I’m just so tired of confessing and falling right back into the same sins. I have a voice inside my head telling me that I’m not truly saved or truly a Christian. I feel like I can’t be an effective witness because of my sin. I hate it. It’s hard to talk about it to people because of the thought of being judged. I just always feel hopeless like I won’t overcome it or I will fall back into it again.

Yes that is how satan's fowlers net works. He catches us with sin, then cast guilt and shame on us so that we crawl away in fear from God and then he rules it over us prisoners of war.

That voice you hear telling you you will fall away is from satan. He is trying to make you do it in your own strength so that you will fall and he can get even more control over you. This is what Jesus wants to save you from!

That is why it is so important that you confess your sins to Jesus and then trust Him to give you grace and then to learn to love Him for setting you free from the snares of sin.

Honest! try it! Tell Jesus all about your sins, how you fell and why. Tell Him what you liked and didn't like. Tell Him how now you got a guilty conscience controlling it over you and making you fail. Ask Him to deliver you and thank Him for doing that.

See when you see how much sin Jesus has forgiven you and how high the price was then you will begin to love Jesus. Now loving Jesus is one of the biggest weapons against sin. The more you love Jesus the more you will hate and flee from sin.

So that is how you fight your sin. Not by trying to be better but by putting your trust in Jesus and looking at Him to rebuild you a saint. For as long as you look at Jesus when temptation comes and not at yourself you will remain safe and will be able to fight your sin. Honestly true!

And it is awesome to have Jesus work in your heart and set you free from those things you could not get free from. So it is worth everything to learn to put your faith hope and trust in Him for then you don't have to feel guilty, ashamed or fearful again and you will have a clean conscience and no more guilty conscience ruling it over you.

Do put your trust fully in Him even Today.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I’m in complete and utter despair and ruin. I’m pretty sure that my life is ruin. I was raised in a Christian home. Claimed to be a Christ follower my whole life and felt like I was. I have struggled with my sexual sin most of my life. When I was younger it was masturbation and occasionally still. In HS and college, I wasn’t focused on Christ. I was in relationships that weren’t God-honoring. I was in a long term one for 5 years. I’ve had sex before marriage and I’m not proud of it. In 2013, I committed myself to maintain my purity. I didn’t sleep with anyone until 2018. My prayer life, church life, worship life, Bible reading was gone. I ended up sleeping with my ex again and fell into a dark place. I then had two relationships after that and ended up sleeping with both guys. Needless to say, those didn’t work out. Why can’t I just stand up and say no like I did for 5 years? Why do I struggle with this? I hate it! I don’t feel forgiven and I feel like I’m not saved anymore even though I believe in Jesus with all of my heart. Why do I continue to walk the opposite direction? Is there any hope for this Christian girl, who has slept with 6 men, during her Christian walk? I feel completely hopeless. Please help! will God accept me back after so many countless falls?

It’s never too late to return to Christ, He loves you and even the angels rejoice over just 1 person who repents.

 

[Thess]

I’m in complete and utter despair and ruin. I’m pretty sure that my life is ruin. I was raised in a Christian home. Claimed to be a Christ follower my whole life and felt like I was. I have struggled with my sexual sin most of my life. When I was younger it was masturbation and occasionally still. In HS and college, I wasn’t focused on Christ. I was in relationships that weren’t God-honoring. I was in a long term one for 5 years. I’ve had sex before marriage and I’m not proud of it. In 2013, I committed myself to maintain my purity. I didn’t sleep with anyone until 2018. My prayer life, church life, worship life, Bible reading was gone. I ended up sleeping with my ex again and fell into a dark place. I then had two relationships after that and ended up sleeping with both guys. Needless to say, those didn’t work out. Why can’t I just stand up and say no like I did for 5 years? Why do I struggle with this? I hate it! I don’t feel forgiven and I feel like I’m not saved anymore even though I believe in Jesus with all of my heart. Why do I continue to walk the opposite direction? Is there any hope for this Christian girl, who has slept with 6 men, during her Christian walk? I feel completely hopeless. Please help! will God accept me back after so many countless falls?

You are NOT this body. When you figure that out, your entire life and landscape of obedience will completely change.

Do you have an actual Romans 12:2 story to tell? Most people think that being "transformed" isn't really real, for few have ever experienced it so this text set almost has a metaphorical sense to it. Have you been indwelt by the Spirit so as to create an actual transformation? This would be a transformation that proves the existence of God, not the kind of experience that a Pagan could have.

 

[BlemishedSoul]

Thank you everyone who wrote me back. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to respond to each input. I am grateful for each one of you.

 

[WannaWitness]

Here are some songs that I hope will encourage the OP (and anyone else who might relate) that no matter how far we have fallen, God is there to forgive and take us back. The first one is an older song while the second one is more recent. But both have powerful message. Be blessed as you listen.

 

[KimmyO]

Remember the story of the woman at the well and Jesus, or the woman the pharisees brought to Jesus? He did not condemn them, but said go and sin no more, yesterday is done, change now and pray for strength. Jesus love is both unconditional and eternal, it isn't based on how good we are or taken when we are bad, but of course there are consequences which is why he wants us to stay away from sin. Love and respect yourself enough to say no more. Forgive yourself as Jesus has and put it behind you. You are able and God will help you. If you slip up, get up, shake off dust, move on. Pray again, commit to not fall into that pit again, remember the sorrow and pain and say no more. All we can do is keep trying, and God will get us thru that valley. Also, keep far from what tempts you to fall, like bars, night calls...stay away from the edge of the cliff and you won't fall. Hang in there, you are loved and worthy of so much more than a man's quick fix. <3

 

[Thess]

Remember the story of the woman at the well and Jesus, or the woman the pharisees brought to Jesus? He did not condemn them, but said go and sin no more, yesterday is done, change now and pray for strength. Jesus love is both unconditional and eternal, it isn't based on how good we are or taken when we are bad, but of course there are consequences which is why he wants us to stay away from sin. Love and respect yourself enough to say no more. Forgive yourself as Jesus has and put it behind you. You are able and God will help you. If you slip up, get up, shake off dust, move on. Pray again, commit to not fall into that pit again, remember the sorrow and pain and say no more. All we can do is keep trying, and God will get us thru that valley. Also, keep far from what tempts you to fall, like bars, night calls...stay away from the edge of the cliff and you won't fall. Hang in there, you are loved and worthy of so much more than a man's quick fix. <3

Outstanding advice! The Devil just loves it when he rides us like a surf-board and then we live out our lives thinking we're just awful. Not me. I don't sit in shame and guilt if I've cleaned up my mess, for that is exactly what Satan wants from us, to live continually in shame and guilt....which ALWAYS hurts others, and I/we don't have that right.

 

[KimmyO]

Amen! Gotta quit living in sludge of past that stops our walk! <3 Praise God!

 

[createdtoworship]

I’m in complete and utter despair and ruin. I’m pretty sure that my life is ruin. I was raised in a Christian home. Claimed to be a Christ follower my whole life and felt like I was. I have struggled with my sexual sin most of my life. When I was younger it was masturbation and occasionally still. In HS and college, I wasn’t focused on Christ. I was in relationships that weren’t God-honoring. I was in a long term one for 5 years. I’ve had sex before marriage and I’m not proud of it. In 2013, I committed myself to maintain my purity. I didn’t sleep with anyone until 2018. My prayer life, church life, worship life, Bible reading was gone. I ended up sleeping with my ex again and fell into a dark place. I then had two relationships after that and ended up sleeping with both guys. Needless to say, those didn’t work out. Why can’t I just stand up and say no like I did for 5 years? Why do I struggle with this? I hate it! I don’t feel forgiven and I feel like I’m not saved anymore even though I believe in Jesus with all of my heart. Why do I continue to walk the opposite direction? Is there any hope for this Christian girl, who has slept with 6 men, during her Christian walk? I feel completely hopeless. Please help! will God accept me back after so many countless falls?

yes He will accept you, refraining from sex is not what saves you, and it's not what can take salvation away.

you are saved because you want to be.

But because you are saved, realize you will never be okay in sin.

Sex is not the only sin you commited here. Passionate kissing, making out, being alone with guys with no accountability. It was a long road of bad decisions.

I don't recommend people be physical at all until marriage.

any physical aspects you do will take away from marriage.

most in our youth group don't even date until they are ready to get married. So I see all these young couples hanging out, just as good friends.

they get to know each other way better without the physical aspect involved.

the physical part is the least part of marriage.

it's about communicating and loving.

but in marriage all of the fulfillment of the physical will come to life.

I recommend, finding a church with a good youth group, or college and career.

many youth groups have people living in sin all the time.

I go to a calvary chapel, and I can recommend them for great reasons.

they are all over the country.

 

[createdtoworship]

Thank you all. I’m just so tired of confessing and falling right back into the same sins. I have a voice inside my head telling me that I’m not truly saved or truly a Christian. I feel like I can’t be an effective witness because of my sin. I hate it. It’s hard to talk about it to people because of the thought of being judged. I just always feel hopeless like I won’t overcome it or I will fall back into it again.

there is a book I recommend, it's called pure desire by ted roberts. I was in bondage to two types of sexual sins, life long ones. And this book started the change to overcome, inappropriate contentography. Then later I overcame a harder more stubborn sexual sin (self gratification). I was so over joyed to be free from the two most difficult sins, that I went on a diet and lost fifty pounds! I overcame three addictions in just a matter of a year or two. There is hope out there, but you need to realize that if you struggle with sin, it's the holy spirit struggling. It's when you stop struggling that you need to start worrying. It's the people who live lifestyles of affairs and sexual sin, that have no problem doing it in secret and being a christian. It's that type of lifestyle that Jesus says be careful of apostacy. But if it is literally a struggle, and you desire salvation, you will have it. God will not take something that you desire away, if you believe in His son. It's when sin has concieved, and you start getting comfortable with the sin, and eventually you start to drift the Bible says in hebrews. Then you are in danger of apostacy. So two types of people. One person addicted to sin, and trying to be free. Another person, not caring if they sin or not. It's the latter that has a drifting and a departing from the christian faith (hebrews six).

it's about conviction versus condemnation:

Condemnation versus Conviction

 

[Blade]

Its wise to ask.. but in the end.. take what HE said in His over ANY mans word. See He told YOU.. I will never cast out ANYONE that comes to me. You sin? He looks at you STILL lovingly.. open arms and says.. thats why I died!

He took away all your sins.. we sin now.. it can hurt Him.. and we get up dust off..confess our sins REPENT..and He is FAITHFUL.. man get that word.. know it.. FAITHFUL! He will never change never cast you out.. Satan comes to kill steal and destroy.

See He comes in with the word and Satan comes to steal it.. telling you how lost your are and how this or that sin was so bad He does not love you.. ALL EVERYONE a lie

You stand before Him.. you will KNOW all the times you miss it.. sinned.. so sorry.. you then will wonder.. WHY is He not seeing it? He died already.. He does not ever judge you nor condemn you. What HE started in YOU.. know this also HE WILL FINISH IT!

You are SO LOVED and SAVED!

 

[createdtoworship]

when an adulterous came to Jesus, He said "your sins are fogiven, go and sin no more."

to the lame man he said "go and sin no more lest a worse thing happen to you."

sin causes curses in our life, addictive sins are the deepest rooted and most stubborn.

but I recommend that you pray, seek the Lord, maybe read the book pure desire by ted roberts.

it is definitely worth it, since I have conquered three addictions in the last several years my prayer and devotional time has taken off, God is blessing every area of my life.

I read this this morning:

Are there habits in your life from which you long to break free? Are there thought patterns you need to change? Are there spiritual bondages from which you need to be released?

If anyone was ‘wild at heart’ it was Samson. He had extraordinary strength, might and ability. But his life was hardly a model. The story of Samson’s life is bizarre, extraordinary and perhaps a bit embarrassing.

However, Samson is highlighted in the New Testament as one of the heroes of faith (Hebrews 11:32). God uses all types of people. He uses us in spite of our sins and weaknesses.

 

[createdtoworship]

I read this in my devotion:

Without Jesus Christ, all of us are slaves to sin. But, ‘if the Son liberates you, then you are really and unquestionably free’ (v.36, AMP).

1. Freedom from shame
   Jesus sets you free from guilt and shame. He died so that you could be forgiven and your guilt and shame could be taken away.
2. Freedom from addiction
   He sets you free from addiction – being ‘a slave to sin’ (v.34). On the cross the power of addiction was broken. Although you may still fall from time to time, the power of the addiction to sin is broken when Jesus sets you free. While some may receive complete freedom from a specific addiction when they come to Jesus, for others it may be a longer process.

 

[Anthony2019]

When I read your opening post, I did not see a person who revolted me in any way, but I saw with compassion someone who has experienced suffering, despair and is struggling.

If I, as a mere human being, can feel moved by your story and desire to see you become happier and more fulfilled, then how much more will God show mercy and compassion to you with his infinite love and grace?

Return to the Lord, he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. Cast all your cares and burdens onto Him because He cares for you - very deeply. Remember every time you feel like you are in despair, or every time you feel unwanted, God sees you as someone of infinite value and worth. Every fabric of your being is intimately loved by Him.

 

[createdtoworship]

When I read your opening post, I did not see a person who revolted me in any way, but I saw with compassion someone who has experienced suffering, despair and is struggling.

If I, as a mere human being, can feel moved by your story and desire to see you become happier and more fulfilled, then how much more will God show mercy and compassion to you with his infinite love and grace?

Return to the Lord, he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. Cast all your cares and burdens onto Him because He cares for you - very deeply. Remember every time you feel like you are in despair, or every time you feel unwanted, God sees you as someone of infinite value and worth. Every fabric of your being is intimately loved by Him.

You didn't see revolt? She slept with several guys. We don't need to diminish the sin, what she needs is victory. And that comes through faith and repentance.

 

[Anthony2019]

You didn't see revolt? She slept with six guys. We don't need to diminish the sin, what she needs is victory. And that comes through faith and repentance.

That is not what I said I wasn't focusing on the action - I said she was not a person who revolted me in any way.