I need help/a friend/support

derpytia said:

I miss going to church but I just cannot go because noise just really hurts my ears. Even sitting in the cry room with adjustable volume doesn't help because sound coming through speakers really messes with my hearing and because eventually someone will come in with a crying baby (which is what the room is actually for) and I have to leave it until the child is removed.

I wish I could ask my church to come to my house and minister to me but my mother would never agree with that and they already are barely able to minister to those in the nearby care home (they only do services for the elderly there once or twice a month).

I don't get any emotional support from my mother (she has a really hard time with empathy for human beings) and my friends are all too busy or too far away.

I need to go to see a therapist but I can't even afford a sliding scale therapist and there are none in my area that are Christian and affordable.

I just want someone to talk to and be a support to me without any judgement but there is no one I can ask. Not even online. I'm not sure what to do. My life is so miserable as it is. Each day I struggle through my tasks (even more so if I have to go to work) and go home to my room to cry for a few hours and browse the web until I get tired enough to fall asleep. Every time I attempt to just tell someone I'm having a hard time keeping faith or just a hard time in general I get judged or brushed off.

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Maybe you should find some personal purpose in your life, to give your daily life a meaning. To serve somebody instead of waiting to being served, if you know what I mean.

Most women find that in husband/children, some can find it in helping other people, animals...

You mentioned it being too loud at church, are your ears sensitive? How does this affect you when it is too loud?

My ears are sensitive, but how it affects me might differ since there's a wide range of sounds we do not pick up, and they can affect us differently.

I used to feel the same way. I was six weeks postpartum when I went into church for the first time with my babies. Is there a therapist near you or not? If you have Skype, Faith Counselling might also be a good idea. Seeing a therapist for a while helped me immensely. I also read one or two self help books from the local library but I didn’t find them so useful.

myst33 said:

Maybe you should find some personal purpose in your life, to give your daily life a meaning. To serve somebody instead of waiting to being served, if you know what I mean.

Most women find that in husband/children, some can find it in helping other people, animals...

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*staff edit*

Derpytia. I don't have any answers but feel free to PM me and I will correspond as I am able to. If and when you feel safe enough to give me specific information to where you are and what your limitations are, I may be able to help you find resources. My family also goes to counseling. I am lucky enough that my insurance covers it but God also blessed up by providing strong Christian counselors within a secular psychiatric practice.

derpytia said:

Some sounds physically cause me pain. All noise no matter how quiet makes my severe tinnitus screaming loud for hours or days on end. Noise through any kind of speaker does both. Makes my time at work even more stressful bc music is played through speakers 24/7. I'm lucky I work in a part of the store where I have a switch that can turn of the music for that area once I get there.

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Hmmm that usually happens to me when my subconscious buffer is overloaded, usually affects my eyes lately. If my eyes get overloaded, I have glasses I can wear, but I haven't found anything too effective for my ears except to stuff tissue in my ears to block out the sound that I cannot hear (but my subconscious is reacting to) that is causing the issues.

myst33 said:

Most women find that in husband/children, some can find it in helping other people, animals...

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Caring for husbands and children can also be a drain on your physical and emotional resources, especially if your husband isn't providing emotional support back.

When senses are in overload, unclogging the blockage takes precedence, no one else and nothing else matters. If people's demands would wait for a bit, their ego could be spared.

If professional therapists are too expensive, and ordinary people don’t have the skills to help, then you only have self-help books to draw on.

I have just started reading a free book I found on Guy Finley’s website. The title is FREEDOM FROM THE TIES THAT BIND. It is interesting, though not explicitly Christian.

Well I won't judge you, if you want to talk to me..pm anytime..I'm never too busy for anyone..I don't think I can send pm though cause my account is "new". I understand about your mother, I'm going through the same thing, but don't let it consume your heart cause in the end you'll find yourself toxic too..I don't know about the church thing, my ears tend to hurt when the drums are played in church and when I hear loud yelling too, but I don't know what to tell you, maybe talk to Jesus so you can receive the holy spirit and he can minister to you..the holy spirit isn't noisy..he will calm your soul and speak gently. If you want a friend message me and I'll be your friend. I can't give advice about the crying baby. You can not do anything about a crying baby. Babies cry everywhere darling. :-/ maybe you should cry sometimes, it helps me.....if you will get a therapist get one spiritual, cause the others don't help much unless you want medicine and I wouldn't give anyone that, not that it doesn't "help" but in the long run it has really bad side effects....but it's up to you..eh I only speak from experiences so..

Dear one, I am sorry to hear of your struggle and get exactly what you are saying.
No matter how well meaning someone may be, the hardest thing of all to bear when you are suffering as you are is for someone to say things like "try to get out and do things" etc etc. If only it were that easy.

I know what it is like just to get through the day, tae only true help I get is from God. The suffering that Jesus went through means He understands like no one else can.
Sometimes when it is particularly hard it is enough to hear Him say "I know".
And He does.
I think of when He needed His friends the most, when He was in agony in the garden of Gethsemane and I know He truly does know all our despair and how we feel.

Do you have a pet? I find mine so comforting and in my lowest times even the fact that they have to be cared for, keeps me from focusing on myself or my pain (I don't mean you are just thinking of yourself).
They are my little family.
Tinnitus is a dreadful thing to have, I am so sorry as this makes things so hard for you as you are a silent sufferer, no one can see anything so think you're OK.

Do you think the minister at the church you have been to would be able to visit you for counselling and care? They are supposed to be shepherds who care for their sheep after all.
If you ever want to message me feel free to, its just I'm not always on here and wouldn't want to let you down but I will do my best.

I say with all sincerity that I will pray for you daily that you will be comforted by our precious Lord and that you have the rest and peace that only He can give.
God bless you.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10a

derpytia said:

I miss going to church but I just cannot go because noise just really hurts my ears. ...

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Some things that might help with the ear:

TINNITUS

SYMPTOMS—Sounds in the ear: ringing; whistling; roaring; hissing; chirping; buzzing; and whining cricket sounds, when there is no outside physical source for these sounds. At first, they come and go; in advanced stages, the sound is constant. No one else hears them.
There are reported instances in which others have heard the sounds from as much as 4 feet from the person's ear. "Tinnitus," in Latin, means "to tinkle," or a "bell-like ring."

The frequency of tinnitus increases with age. The left ear seems to produce the sounds more often than the right ear. About 75% of deaf people report tinnitus.

CAUSES—There are several possible causes, including an irritation of nerve endings in the ear by loud noises. Chemicals and drugs can injure the internal ear. Prescription drugs can produce tinnitus or
hearing loss (beware of quinine and aspirin). Nicotine constricts blood vessels and may be the cause.

Other causes are lead; aluminum; mercury poisoning; impacted wax; hormonal problems; high blood pressure; severe blows to the head; anemia; perforation of the tympanic membrane; fluid in the middle
ear; epilepsy; migraine; food allergy; Meniere's disease; hypothyroidism; multiple sclerosis; as well as repeated and prolonged exposure to loud noises. Whatever the cause, stress sometimes adds to it.

Tinnitus is not a sign of a more serious problem or a precursor of any serious disease—unless it is associated with Meniere's Disease (which see).

TREATMENT—
• Surgical success rates are very low. Beware of "tinnitus maskers." These products can cause hearing loss.

• Do the pulse test to check on problem foods. Have a hair analysis made. Find the cause and eliminate it. A 1981 medical study pointed to coffee, tea, tonic water, red wine, grainbased spirits, chocolate, and cheese as the most common dietary causes of tinnitus.

• Mix 1 tsp. salt and 1 tsp. glycerin in 1 pint warm water. Several times a day, using a nasal sprayer, spray each nostril until it begins draining into the back of the throat; also spray the throat.

• Get a nourishing diet, and include trace minerals (Norwegian kelp or Nova Scotia dulse), vitamin A, calcium, magnesium, and betaine HCl.

• A lack of manganese can cause deafness, dizziness, and ear noises. A lack of magnesium can produce nerve twitching and sensitivity to noise.

• Changing and correcting the diet, reducing stress, and getting more exercise out-of-doors has been helpful in dealing with tinnitus. Stress causes more adrenaline to be produced which, in turn, constricts blood vessels and keeps waste products from being as quickly eliminated.

• Remember that fatigue increases the problem. An important help is to go to bed and get up on a regular, healthful, schedule.

• Avoid loud noises and noisy situations. Alcohol makes tinnitus worse. Caffeine is a common cause. Marijuana and cocaine intensify the problem. Aspirin is a known cause of tinnitus, also blood pressure and arthritis drugs. Also beware of steroids, anticonvulsive
medications, vasodilators, and anticholesterol drugs. Nicotine damages the hearing.

• Make sure the colon is working well. An enema will help with this.

• Worthwhile herbs would include bugleweed, garlic, gotu kola, cayenne, and prickly ash.

—Also see "Meniere's Disease."

ENCOURAGEMENT—
Psa_17:1 A Prayer of David. Hear the right, O LORD, attend unto my cry, give ear unto my prayer, that goeth not out of feigned lips.

Psa_17:6 I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God: incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech.

derpytia said:

I miss going to church but I just cannot go because noise just really hurts my ears. Even sitting in the cry room with adjustable volume doesn't help because sound coming through speakers really messes with my hearing and because eventually someone will come in with a crying baby (which is what the room is actually for) and I have to leave it until the child is removed.

I wish I could ask my church to come to my house and minister to me but my mother would never agree with that and they already are barely able to minister to those in the nearby care home (they only do services for the elderly there once or twice a month).

I don't get any emotional support from my mother (she has a really hard time with empathy for human beings) and my friends are all too busy or too far away.

I need to go to see a therapist but I can't even afford a sliding scale therapist and there are none in my area that are Christian and affordable.

I just want someone to talk to and be a support to me without any judgement but there is no one I can ask. Not even online. I'm not sure what to do. My life is so miserable as it is. Each day I struggle through my tasks (even more so if I have to go to work) and go home to my room to cry for a few hours and browse the web until I get tired enough to fall asleep. Every time I attempt to just tell someone I'm having a hard time keeping faith or just a hard time in general I get judged or brushed off.

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Most churches have "home groups" or some sort of smaller group situation. Why not be part of one of those?

derpytia said:

I miss going to church but I just cannot go because noise just really hurts my ears. Even sitting in the cry room with adjustable volume doesn't help because sound coming through speakers really messes with my hearing and because eventually someone will come in with a crying baby (which is what the room is actually for) and I have to leave it until the child is removed.

I wish I could ask my church to come to my house and minister to me but my mother would never agree with that and they already are barely able to minister to those in the nearby care home (they only do services for the elderly there once or twice a month).

I don't get any emotional support from my mother (she has a really hard time with empathy for human beings) and my friends are all too busy or too far away.

I need to go to see a therapist but I can't even afford a sliding scale therapist and there are none in my area that are Christian and affordable.

I just want someone to talk to and be a support to me without any judgement but there is no one I can ask. Not even online. I'm not sure what to do. My life is so miserable as it is. Each day I struggle through my tasks (even more so if I have to go to work) and go home to my room to cry for a few hours and browse the web until I get tired enough to fall asleep. Every time I attempt to just tell someone I'm having a hard time keeping faith or just a hard time in general I get judged or brushed off.

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G


Hi dear Christian believer, I was sad reading your message indeed this world can be so sad and selfish besides judgmental but Only God should hold the right to judge.

You should never feel alone if praying is hard and you need to express your pain and share your burden my door is opened.

I am a 29 years old female Pastor, I use online preaching for people just like you, the whole point was that for many reasons people don't go to church and I wanted to help these individuals.

First today forget about everyone who judged you just focus on you, handle your routine then come home have a hot shower cry all you need then sit down and make a list of what is bothering you and what changes you need in your life, what are your needs, why are you sad and disappointed where did you feel you missed out or drifted away what is heavy on you ect...

Then eat amd drink something you like that can cheer you up and reply to my message and once we connect you will share the list you wrote and step by step you will find your way back to peace and Joy I promise that I will help you.

Remember its Ministry it will not cost you any money only time to worl on yourself.

Be encouraged,

You are not Alone.

Pastor D

would maybe ear plugs help a little?

derpytia said:

I miss going to church but I just cannot go

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First I would like to start off with, "don't lose hope."
As long as you have hope for the future you will certainly feel better. We all feel overwhelmed sometimes and there is nothing wrong with crying about our pain.
I have a hard time making it to church because I feel like the other people are insulting me, tormenting me, and laughing at me. But I've decided that I will have to keep going until I find a church that respects my boundaries.
My advice would be to find a smaller church, one that doesn't use loud speakers. I am going to message you so we can talk more.