Why do I feel so bad when I sin?

My King and Lord said:

Hello fellow brothers and sisters. I am a recent convert to Christianity and this may sound like a stupid question to you guys. Basically everytime I sin I feel so awful. For an example today I literally lied for no reason. It wasn't sometime big and it wasn't a big deal, but for some reason I lied. No one would have cared if I telled the truth. A few hours after that incident, I started crying and I repented. Everytime I know I have sinned, Jesus suffering on the cross just comes up. Body covered in red by whippings, mocked by everyone seeing him, King of the Jews above his head, the crown of thrones, hin struggling to gain his next breath, tempted to come down and call himself the Son of God. It's making me cry now just typing that. I still sin and I feel so bad, he went through all of that and I still sin in my life. Becoming christian I have stopped many sins. inappropriate contentography, hatred, gory videos, enjoying people suffer, cutting myself, I stopped many major sins for almost a month now(about the time I confesses Jesus is Lord). However sometimes i have to sin. My mother almost found out I was Christian because of a suspicion thing I did(it was reading and hiding the Bible)and I had to make up the worst lies just to get out of it. I truly believed the Lord saved me in that situation. I spent two hours and the first hour of the next morning crying so much after that incident. Not only did I have to lie, I lied to my own mother and I kind of had to. I thought when I become Christian I let my old self die and let Christ live in me. I though the devil would flee from me and I would never sin again or almost never sin at all. I feel so terrible when I sin, the Lord went through all of that and I still committ minor sins. Maybe not everyday, but when I realize it, I feel like I failed Jesus. I feel like I let him down. I know this is a stupid question and you can laugh at what I did before I let myself love Christ, but I don't want to be a failure to the only one who I would die for. My influence, my inspiration, my teacher, my hero, my king, my lord, my friend, my love, my everything. He is my everything in this world. Just typing this thread and thinking about him makes me cry.

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My King and Lord said:

No I am not depressed. Lord Jesus got me out of negative mindset and brought me into a more positive one. Those people only care for money. I could have been a convert in Iraq or Afghanistan. I could have been a Christian child in rural Nigeria. I could have been a poor Coptic girl in Egypt. I thank Lord Jesus everyday for what I have and pray for those who are in worse position. I do all I can to help. I just don't want to let my only eternal friend be disappointed in me. That's my worst fear.

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My King and Lord said:

Some Christian say we sin forever. So what will I learn if I am a sinner and continue to sin until I leave this world?

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My King and Lord said:

Some Christian say we sin forever. So what will I learn if I am a sinner and continue to sin until I leave this world?

Click to expand...

My King and Lord said:

Some Christian say we sin forever. So what will I learn if I am a sinner and continue to sin until I leave this world?

Click to expand...

My King and Lord said:

Hello fellow brothers and sisters. I am a recent convert to Christianity and this may sound like a stupid question to you guys. Basically everytime I sin I feel so awful. For an example today I literally lied for no reason. It wasn't sometime big and it wasn't a big deal, but for some reason I lied. No one would have cared if I telled the truth. A few hours after that incident, I started crying and I repented. Everytime I know I have sinned, Jesus suffering on the cross just comes up. Body covered in red by whippings, mocked by everyone seeing him, King of the Jews above his head, the crown of thrones, hin struggling to gain his next breath, tempted to come down and call himself the Son of God. It's making me cry now just typing that. I still sin and I feel so bad, he went through all of that and I still sin in my life. Becoming christian I have stopped many sins. inappropriate contentography, hatred, gory videos, enjoying people suffer, cutting myself, I stopped many major sins for almost a month now(about the time I confesses Jesus is Lord). However sometimes i have to sin. My mother almost found out I was Christian because of a suspicion thing I did(it was reading and hiding the Bible)and I had to make up the worst lies just to get out of it. I truly believed the Lord saved me in that situation. I spent two hours and the first hour of the next morning crying so much after that incident. Not only did I have to lie, I lied to my own mother and I kind of had to. I thought when I become Christian I let my old self die and let Christ live in me. I though the devil would flee from me and I would never sin again or almost never sin at all. I feel so terrible when I sin, the Lord went through all of that and I still committ minor sins. Maybe not everyday, but when I realize it, I feel like I failed Jesus. I feel like I let him down. I know this is a stupid question and you can laugh at what I did before I let myself love Christ, but I don't want to be a failure to the only one who I would die for. My influence, my inspiration, my teacher, my hero, my king, my lord, my friend, my love, my everything. He is my everything in this world. Just typing this thread and thinking about him makes me cry.

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