People who use God as a reason to show they aren't interested

ThisIsMe123

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There's this Christian woman I know via Meetup. The extend of her church involvement is Sundays mostly. Her circle of friends are a variety of beliefs and so on. Some are Christian, some agnostic, some spiritual. Etc. They go out dining together and dancing after. Sometimes movies.

But when I talk to her, she does express her passion for God and Jesus Christ.

She's single, over 50, never married, no children. Very smart, etc.

I tried to ask her out or asked if she had any interest in dating and she said "To be honest, <my name>,....it's not a priority at this point as ever since her recent cancer scare (she's recovered), she's found solace in her friends, family, and interested in building her relationship with Christ." (sorry for the change up in the tenses).

Basically, she's not interested in finding anyone and just recited the aforementioned.

I didn't want to push anymore on that.

Anyways, I caught up with one of her friends at a Meetup event. Dining out, he and his friends said that she might be at that venue watching live music. I mentioned I liked her and was interested, but told him what she told me.

He said, "Um...nope...she's is indeed looking"

I was like, "really? She told me otherwise"

He goes, 'I dunno, some women just say things to be nice or let you down easily...you know how it is"

But that could have changed...big maybe though. He said he'd find out for me if she'd be interested in me though.

But yeah, I tend to get this from Christian women a lot. They use some "Godly" reason to blow you off...where as secular women, all they have to go with are the " I gotta wash my hair"

But\, personally...there's some kind bad karma attached to doing this. Yes? (Of course, that's a word that may not be appropriate for these forums. So it was written to form a context and get the point across.
 
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There's this Christian woman I know via Meetup. The extend of her church involvement is Sundays mostly. Her circle of friends are a variety of beliefs and so on. Some are Christian, some agnostic, some spiritual. Etc. They go out dining together and dancing after. Sometimes movies.

But when I talk to her, she does express her passion for God and Jesus Christ.

She's single, over 50, never married, no children. Very smart, etc.

I tried to ask her out or asked if she had any interest in dating and she said "To be honest, <my name>,....it's not a priority at this point as ever since her recent cancer scare (she's recovered), she's found solace in her friends, family, and interested in building her relationship with Christ." (sorry for the change up in the tenses).

Basically, she's not interested in finding anyone and just recited the aforementioned.

I didn't want to push anymore on that.

Anyways, I caught up with one of her friends at a Meetup event. Dining out, he and his friends said that she might be at that venue watching live music. I mentioned I liked her and was interested, but told him what she told me.

He said, "Um...nope...she's is indeed looking"

I was like, "really? She told me otherwise"

He goes, 'I dunno, some women just say things to be nice or let you down easily...you know how it is"

But that could have changed...big maybe though. He said he'd find out for me if she'd be interested in me though.

But yeah, I tend to get this from Christian women a lot. They use some "Godly" reason to blow you off...where as secular women, all they have to go with are the " I gotta wash my hair"

But\, personally...there's some kind bad karma attached to doing this. Yes? (Of course, that's a word that may not be appropriate for these forums. So it was written to form a context and get the point across.

Could you really accept it if she came right out and said plainly that she does not want to date YOU? If she is not interested in YOU, but she likes you ok as a friend or associate, she will not want to lead you on knowing that a date would send a signal that she wants more than friendship. A woman over 50 knows what she wants and she is not desperate. She has lived long enough that she also know what she does not want. It is no reflection on you as a person so don't be offended that all she wants from you is friendship.
 
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Elliewaves

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Whatever she has said; the bottom line is that she is not interested in you at this time. You could try to change her mind, but it might just push her further away and cause her to warn other women about you. If you are still interested, be friendly and respect what she wants. And if she doesn't want a romantic relationship with you, move on. Sure it's annoying when people use God as an excuse for anything, but really what can you do? Whatever the reason is given, it's clear she's not interested at this time.
 
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Kenny'sID

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Now that you know the score, you can keep trying if you like, and this way any let downs may not be so bad.

Or you can just tell yourself, "she's just a snob" and that you wouldn't like her anyway after knowing that.

Then there's the "her loss" route. :)
 
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Frankly, i think OP means women using excuses to let interested men down easy.
I think men would rather have women to just say they're just not attracted to us or that there's no chemistry or something like that, in stead of something that doesn't make too much sense in and of itself, or does not explain it or is unclear otherwise.

Oh well, as long as they don't give you this look:
tumblr_lmfo592nsx1qii6tmo1_250.gif

;)
 
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rockytopva

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The Reasoning...

If he is very handsome - That man is of God! Hook up with him immediately!
If he is so-so - Well... I have got to pray about it
If he is very ugly - That man is not of God! Avoid him at all costs!
 
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Elliewaves

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Frankly, i think OP means women using excuses to let interested men down easy.
I think men would rather have women to just say they're just not attracted to us or that there's no chemistry or something like that, in stead of something that doesn't make too much sense in and of itself, or does not explain it or is unclear otherwise.

Oh well, as long as they don't give you this look:
tumblr_lmfo592nsx1qii6tmo1_250.gif

;)

Sometimes even if a woman is direct and says there is no chemistry or they are not attracted to a man, the guy still thinks it's an excuse or they think it's unclear what she really means. And a woman can give that look if she truly feels that way. Maybe a guy's approach is weird and he takes everything the wrong way. If you are rejected even as an easy let down the message is still clear- she's not interested, move on.
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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The Reasoning...

If he is very handsome - That man is of God! Hook up with him immediately!
If he is so-so - Well... I have got to pray about it
If he is very ugly - That man is not of God! Avoid him at all costs!

That is funny. I have found that very handsome men think all women want them. This is their fantasy.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Could you really accept it if she came right out and said plainly that she does not want to date YOU? If she is not interested in YOU, but she likes you ok as a friend or associate, she will not want to lead you on knowing that a date would send a signal that she wants more than friendship. A woman over 50 knows what she wants and she is not desperate. She has lived long enough that she also know what she does not want. It is no reflection on you as a person so don't be offended that all she wants from you is friendship.

Where'd you get the "desperate" part of this conversation?
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Sometimes even if a woman is direct and says there is no chemistry or they are not attracted to a man, the guy still thinks it's an excuse or they think it's unclear what she really means. And a woman can give that look if she truly feels that way. Maybe a guy's approach is weird and he takes everything the wrong way. If you are rejected even as an easy let down the message is still clear- she's not interested, move on.

Weird? Not sure what you mean by that. You weren't witness to the conversation.

It's rather moot anyway, as "weird" is often subjective. What's weird to some people, may not be weird to others.
 
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Elliewaves

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I didn't say you were weird (how would any of us know). I meant some guys do react that way or approach women that way. A woman's response in that sort of situation is to use excuses. Anyways if you didn't like what she said to you; you should have said something right then. Like, please be straight with me; please tell me if you are interested or not; leave God out of the excuse..... or something to that effect; politely of course. It is annoying when people use God as an excuse, so the best thing to do is to address it with them right away if it bothers you.
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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Where'd you get the "desperate" part of this conversation?
Don't take it personally. A lot of people see women over50 and single as desperate to be married so much so that they would marry people they do not love or even want. Maybe some single women do, they usually regret it . I have heard single women say they are single not desperate.
 
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Hieronymus

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Sometimes even if a woman is direct and says there is no chemistry or they are not attracted to a man, the guy still thinks it's an excuse or they think it's unclear what she really means.
Yeah but this topic is about using "God excuses".
And a woman can give that look if she truly feels that way.
Yes, women can be condescending too.
Maybe a guy's approach is weird and he takes everything the wrong way. If you are rejected even as an easy let down the message is still clear- she's not interested, move on.
Apparently it's not always clear.
 
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Elliewaves

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Yeah but this topic is about using "God excuses".Yes, women can be condescending too, indeed..Apparently it's not always clear.

Yep, I was addressing what you brought up, which is all connected to the topic at hand. Women and men are condesending in the dating ritual. It happens. Find someone better suited instead of licking wounds.
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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Weird? Not sure what you mean by that. You weren't witness to the conversation.

It's rather moot anyway, as "weird" is often subjective. What's weird to some people, may not be weird to others.
See! You are taking it personally again and not generally. You put out there for our opinion like we were witness to the conversation. We are answering according to the way we think about the situation.Now please stop taking it personally. We are trying to help you understand why a woman will use God as an excuse for saying she is not interested. She is trying to not hurt your ego or to make you feel rejected.

You are right, the thought "weird" is subjective.I does not necessarily mean YOU are weird. It may mean that a person think that unsolicited attention is weird.
 
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Hieronymus

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Yep, I was addressing what you brought up, which is all connected to the topic at hand.
Yes, connected, but since you replied to me, i thought i'd point out it was besides the point i made.
Women and men are condesending in the dating ritual.
Oh, okay.
It happens.
No doubt.
Find someone better suited instead of licking wounds.
Well, if wounded, first attend to the wounds.
Then look further, if you're motivated to do so.
 
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