Be Still

I recently had this weird emotion/feeling hit me a couple of days ago, it all started when rent increased again, there was this feeling of dread that came out of nowhere, currently I'm financially supporting both my parents. I work hard, very hard. And then I hit a wall, it just came like this blackness, emptiness, like I didn't want to live anymore. My mind began a downward spiral, it felt numb, and I felt apathy. I didn't understand it, and God felt far. Life just lost meaning, it felt so empty, what's the point of it all? But weeks ago, I've been seeking God, and I was allowing Him to change my thoughts and words I say. I tend to be very negative in life, but God revealed to me in Scriptures, the "provisions" and that I was supposed to look for them everyday. Just like the Israelites in their journey in the wilderness, each day God provided something. I was doing okay those couple of weeks, then this depression hit. I opened up to my mom telling her I felt so empty and lonely. She told me to remember the faithfulness of God and she told me I had to fight these thoughts. The darkness lifted awhile, I went ahead and printed out some scriptures on battling fear and anxiety. I read them out loud that night and memorized a couple. Then today, the depression kinda hovered again, I came home feeling that gray cloud. I cried, "Jesus, please, please help me!" I couldn't keep my mind calm so I got my phone was about to text a friend for prayers, but while texting, the paper I printed earlier, was at my side, and it was opened to the 2nd page and 3 words got my attention "Quiet! Be Still!" It was from Mark 4:39-40 "He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
Then a voice in my heart said if "Jesus can calm the waves and winds of a stormy sea, He can also calm your stormy mind." I cried. I simply took His words. I remembered that moment a song, "...when the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You over the storm, Father, You are King over the flood, I will be still and know You are God..." So I sang it over and over, and I remembered other worship songs, "Potter's Hand", "Faith", "Eagle's Wings", I just worshipped, sang out loud, even out of tune lol, another scripture "...His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart..." Psalm 91:1-16, His faithfulness! The dark clouds departed! I felt a huge burden lifted, when I realized He was my purpose, He is faithful even on days when I am not. Peace settled down. Just wanted to share this to anyone who is struggling with this same issue, God has never abandoned you! Trust in His love! He is faithful! Go to Him! Forget about the impossibilities of the situation! Even just for a moment give God a chance to minister to you. Have faith, even just a little faith!


For the list of scriptures, I got them from this article, was really a blessing...

33 Verses about Fear and Anxiety to Remind Us: God is in Control

Far Side Of the Moon said:

I'm glad God helped you. How do you feel now?

Click to expand...

I feel better . Made some adjustments in my life too.