what are you feeling right now? (24)

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Wayholka said:

Lately my knee has been getting increasingly painful when walking. It wasn't long ago when my mother had knee surgery and told me of a condition that runs through the family. I'm feeling a little paranoid about it.

I really cannot afford another health problem. I want to be able to go back to work to earn money and socialize with co-workers instead of sitting on my butt for the last two years. It's even worse because as an autistic guy, I NEED to stim by walking around. If my knee gets worse with the pain, life is going to be a whole lot more uncomfortable.

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Sorry to hear about you knee that could indeed be a terrible condition to have in your case. Let's hope and pray that something can be done about it.

Are there other ways than walking around available to you? Maybe invest in a boxing bag or go swimming? Not sure how useful such would be for you though.

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Wayholka said:

I'm hoping it's just a temporary thing like a sprained muscle or something. I got an ice pack around my knee right now and I hope it gets better my tomorrow morning.



The pool is only open twice a week for a couple hours and I must stim every time I get an energy spike which happens dozens of times each day. For some autistics, they stim by flapping their hands but for me it's walking around the house. It's like an itch that needs to be scratched and the longer you try to resist, the more discomfort there is until it is finally scratched.

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Okay i see what you mean. i get a similar issue when i'm anxious or restless i need to walk nonstop to remain sane, so i understand a little where you are coming from.

Let's hope your knee heals soon.

Press On said:

Might be just what you need at this point.

You’ve talked about your possible future plans and desires at times. What course of action have you decided now regarding college? What subjects are you going to pursue?

I know the pain of a critical, unsupportive family. All the best with your plans. Hope you will find more contentment, happiness and freedom.

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I'm enrolled for 2018-2019, I have my financial aid letter and will be claiming it here shortly.

I'll be studying journalism for the time being.

Thank you!

Is it still abusive when someone links a group of people to a suicide note they've written, blaming you for their going to be suicide attempt, and then call you an awful person because you apparently didn't react the way they wanted? And then went on to call you and your friends names?

All I did was ban her from a group chat because she was posting wildly racist, xenophobic things and starting fights with other members of certain ethnicities among other really inappropriate, awful behavior.

chaoticfirefly said:

Is it still abusive when someone links a group of people to a suicide note they've written, blaming you for their going to be suicide attempt, and then call you an awful person because you apparently didn't react the way they wanted? And then went on to call you and your friends names?

All I did was ban her from a group chat because she was posting wildly racist, xenophobic things and starting fights with other members of certain ethnicities among other really inappropriate, awful behavior.

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Feeling rather nervous and anxious. Yvonne has gone to Perth and is on her way right now. i always get nervous when she travels to Perth many accidents happen along that road only just this Easter two perished along that route.

Further more Yvonne has gone to Perth to pick up our youngest son and his pregnant wife and their first born son. They are coming for 4 weeks and be staying right here, all being well. As much as i look forward to seeing them again, for it has been a couple of years since we met, as much as i dread it hoping i will be okay. He lives in Canada and is currently in Brisbane on route to Perth as well and they will soon be flying again.

i hate it when loved ones travel especially Yvonne for i get these panic attacks where in a flash satan announces that so and so has perished. i try and ignore them and thank Jesus that all are still alive instead but still seem to get riled up the longer such travel takes. Our youngest and his family have been travelling for hours already. It is only midday but it feels like night time already that is how drained my reality has already become. A pain when that happens.

Lets hope and pray all be well and we will soon be having a really good time together. i hope so. Tomorrow about 2pm they should be here. In the mean time i'm going to be working on staying as calm as possible.

Have a nice day

I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I didn't pick up my phone when you called, I was sleeping. I'm sorry, it was my fault.

I haven't been here in years, literally...Yet I feel probably exactly the same as when I wrote here last

Lady Bug said:

I haven't been here in years, literally...Yet I feel probably exactly the same as when I wrote here last

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Nice to see you back again. Welcome!

Take heart and be of good courage. We’re still here to help and love one another.

Lady Bug said:

I haven't been here in years, literally...Yet I feel probably exactly the same as when I wrote here last

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Sorry to hear that you are still struggling with depression but great to see you back here again. i hope you will find plenty of support to help you through your down times.

Feeling unmotivated. Nothing calls my attention, not even my usual hobbies. I keep on smiling as usual, but there's just no motivation for daily stuff.

Reading Bible.

wishing for death. every second

Poppyseed78 said:

wishing for death. every second

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i remember being there, it was horrible! i truly feel for you. no fun wanting to die so earnestly.

i found that we best let bad life slip away and let good life grow back in its stead. i know easier said than done but it is possible after growing good life with God's word for 7 years my death wish began to die this is my first year in many that i'm not jealous with those who die before me. So please do understand depression doesn't usually stay bad all our lives. You may hope for better.

Read something about Free-Mason. Remember the Tower of Babel? About 15 American presidents were members of Free-Mason. Terrible.

So Be a real Christian is so good. God bless.

every time I wonder if I regret not pursuing my career path and try to go back and understand what it takes to accomplish it, I feel literally suicidal (CPA exam). whenever I read about how much pressure it is to study for it on top of a full-time job I think to myself how on earth can I ever read the Bible and keep my relationship with God intact if I'm always studying like this and working on top of that. I could never read the Bible if I were doing this career, yet I have so many courses I took already. I don't know what to think about some people. are the people promoting this stuff soulless, Godless people who think that the only things in life are a high-falutent management job and tons of wealth? "they won't promote you unless you have passed this exam or are working on it" - - how can anyone read their Bible and have a proper relationship with God if this is their priority? am I missing something?

I guess that people have to make meaning in life and some don't believe in God so they have to do something different

Lady Bug said:

every time I wonder if I regret not pursuing my career path and try to go back and understand what it takes to accomplish it, I feel literally suicidal (CPA exam). whenever I read about how much pressure it is to study for it on top of a full-time job I think to myself how on earth can I ever read the Bible and keep my relationship with God intact if I'm always studying like this and working on top of that. I could never read the Bible if I were doing this career, yet I have so many courses I took already. I don't know what to think about some people. are the people promoting this stuff soulless, Godless people who think that the only things in life are a high-falutent management job and tons of wealth? "they won't promote you unless you have passed this exam or are working on it" - - how can anyone read their Bible and have a proper relationship with God if this is their priority? am I missing something?

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A very good point you are raising here Lady Bug! Indeed it can be hard to serve two masters that is why the Word of God carries your perfect answer. For example look at Daniel and his friends how they behaved in Babylon. They served the Lord first of all in all the important points, even what they ate or didn't eat, and then excelled at their job above those who studied the conventional way.

Be of good courage Lady Bug. When we put God first and serve Him with the heart, our minds and our bodies become capable of incredible things.

If i was you i pursue God first of all. And then ask Him to make you capable of doing the studies/work required for the day, and then do it trusting in His divine support, and you will also begin to excel in all that the Lord puts your hand to. I do know He turned my education from a non achieving drop out into an university degree carrier. With Jesus all things are possible that is the comfort we may always carry with us.

Many Blessings

Daniel 1:3-21
Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility – young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.

Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.


But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself in this way. Now God had caused the official to show favour and compassion to Daniel, but the official told Daniel, ‘I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men of your age? The king would then have my head because of you.’


Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, ‘Please test your servants for ten days: give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.’ So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.


At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.


To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.


At the end of the time set by the king to bring them into his service, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king’s service. In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.


And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus.