The Church's Problem with Singleness

$pirit said:

1. All the men within my Christian circles have been partnered off or too old. I am not looking for men outside of the church.

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You are still young, so nothing much to worry about, I would say that you need a more proactive approach to this. Essentially Theist or atheist the one thing we seem to have in common is the responsibility over our own existence and the path we walk is entirely up to us, we cannot choose the world we live in but we can choose how we react to it.
You have given this path a good shot, 10 years, try a different approach.

Without wishing to be unromantic about it all, dating and finding the right partner is a numbers game.
If the pool of people you interact with have a small number of eligible members of the opposite sex then you have much less chance to find the right person for you.

How about other churches within your denomination, or other church denominations that share most of the same beliefs or Christian dating websites.
You already know that the potential partners share a belief system.

If you do choose other Churches, then say that you are here to learn more about your religions, getting a different point of view by listening to someone else communicate about it (on the hunt for a partner would send out the wrong signals).

Rivga said:

You are still young, so nothing much to worry about, I would say that you need a more proactive approach to this. Essentially Theist or atheist the one thing we seem to have in common is the responsibility over our own existence and the path we walk is entirely up to us, we cannot choose the world we live in but we can choose how we react to it.
You have given this path a good shot, 10 years, try a different approach.

Without wishing to be unromantic about it all, dating and finding the right partner is a numbers game.
If the pool of people you interact with have a small number of eligible members of the opposite sex then you have much less chance to find the right person for you.

How about other churches within your denomination, or other church denominations that share most of the same beliefs or Christian dating websites.
You already know that the potential partners share a belief system.

If you do choose other Churches, then say that you are here to learn more about your religions, getting a different point of view by listening to someone else communicate about it (on the hunt for a partner would send out the wrong signals).

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Those are all good points. If you live in a cultural bubble, you are going to have fewer opportunities. You either accept that or you have to get out of your bubble.

FireDragon76 said:

Especially as the cultures became more individualistic in the 19th century, this tendency only increased.

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That was a move away from biblical norm culture.

If you do choose other Churches, then say that you are here to learn more about your religions, getting a different point of view by listening to someone else communicate about it (on the hunt for a partner would send out the wrong signals).[/QUOTE]

Lol yea, don’t want to send the wrong signals. Good suggestions. Thank you.

One of the big problems with being single and losing hope that you will ever be so lucky as to have a SO is one of self worth. And when we give in to a negative self image, we make ourselves just that much more unattractive to people around us.

The counter for that is know and constantly remind ourselves of who we are in Christ. Here is Joyce Meyer's list:

Knowing Who I Am in Christ

I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10).

I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).

I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).

I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).

I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).

I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).

I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 2:5).

I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).

I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).

I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17-18).

I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues. I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17-18; Luke 10:17-19).

I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9-10).

I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).

I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).

I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).

I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13).

I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).

I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).

I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).

I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I am a spirit being alive to God (Romans 6:11; Thessalonians 5:23).

I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).

I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).

I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).

I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).

I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).

I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).

I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).

I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).

I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (1 Corinthians 6:19).

I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).

I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).

I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and long suffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12).

I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7).

I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).

I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15-68; Galatians 3:13).

I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7).

I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (Psalm 66:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).

I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isaiah 53:5; 1 Peter 2:24).

I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 2:12).

I am greatly loved by God (Romans 1:7; Ephesians 2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4).

I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11).

I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7).

I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14).

For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20).

Who Am I?
by Derek Prince

Introduction
I. Triune Man At Creation
II. Fall Of Man—Desire To Be Independent Of God (Gen. 3:1–7)
III. God Still Longs After Man
IV. The New Creation


Are You Spiritual Or Soulish?

Introduction
Recap: From Creation to Re-Creation
V. God’s Word “Divides” The Three Elements (Heb. 4:12)
VI. Relationship Between Spirit And Soul
Why You Have A Body

VII. How To Be Spiritual, Not Soulish
VIII. Your Body And God’s Purposes
IX. God’s Provision For Your Body
X. Your Responsibilities
The Climax Of Life’s Destiny

XI. The End Of The Christian Life
© 1990 — Derek Prince Ministries–International

Another topic that relates to us all, including singles, is the area of congregational service.

The modern move toward a total lack of a shared congregational life is at odds with the biblical record (had all things in common) and historical church practice. This leaves many feeling isolated and lonely.

So I would encourage everyone, especially singles, to find an area of need in your congregation and serve there. It may just net you some lifelong friends, and you may even find a spouse. Plus, it will help your leaders further the plans and goals of the congregation.


The op of this thread talked about the church ignoring the needs of singles. By becoming a regular contributor to the needs of the congregation, the congregations ( most of them, anyway) will start to take you and your needs more seriously as well. Get known by your pastors and elders. The needs of a friend usually weigh more heavily than those of someone you may have met once or twice.

HisPrincess710 said:

This is just something that's been really bothering me lately regarding a so-called "gift of singleness." I understand that there a plenty of people who are happy being single, but a great many more are not. They would like to be married (including myself) yet most churches are doing little to nothing to help them along with that. If man was designed to be content in God alone, Eve would not have been necessary.

The bible never teaches that there's a gift of singleness. There is a gift of celibacy, but that's completely different. People with this gift do not have any desire to marry and are perfectly fine being single. Moreover, this gift is rare. Furthermore, Christians in other countries like India believe everyone is called to marry unless specifically called by God not to.

I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but apparently most people don't realize that most of us are not meant to endure 10-20+ years of temptation. There is a reason our sex drive is at its highest in our twenties and thirties. Instead of watering down the truth, why not teach what the bible says? The cure to sexual temptation is marriage.

And yet, we're told we singles are on our own. Well, if you're going to teach us to save ourselves for marriage, why not help set us up? I've heard people say we can live without marriage. That may be true for an individual, but not for society at large. Society needs marriage. And when we have healthy marriages, we have healthier people.

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I find the organized church to be a social gathering of married people leaning very heavily to women and children.

bugkiller