Humbled

How long have you been withdrawing from the benzo?

I'm going through one of, if not the most trying times of my life now, and though I won't go into detail, it's easy to see why God is allowing it, but at times, to me, enough seems like enough/goal reached, but it continues.

Also I find it very hard at times to just relax knowing it's his will and to
just trust him as I should, so I naturally think, maybe that's the whole idea of it? So I try to get better at it. With the knowledge I have, or think I have, that's all I can do....try.

Yes, friend. The withdrawals do end, just be careful with them in the future.

How's your prayer life? A few months ago I was so anxious, I daily walked for hours pacing in my room. I think I walked 13 km on some days. I also used to have sleep paralysis episodes - which were cured by the Lord. I think they were demonic in nature. That's not just it, I had so much anxiety - I still sometimes struggle, but I have such peace now man. The days are smooth and calm, I feel so pleasant.

It's all about praying, relying on God, and growing closer to Him. He will do much more than you think! I pray before I sleep, and when I wake up in the morning with anxiety, I pray and it goes away quick.

Read the Word while asking God to teach you and nourish you, too.

Have hope, the King is for you.

"There is none like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to your help, through the skies in His majesty.
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemies from before you, saying, 'Destroy them!'
(Deuteronomy 33:27)

Hear:

"For thus says the One, who is high and lifted up, and inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: 'I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, to revive the spirit of the contrite."
(Isaiah 57:15)

"The Lord watches over you-
The Lord is the shade at your right hand."
(Psalm 121:5)

I feel humbled because i have mental issues, or perhaps spiritual battles, or both i guess. Its good to be humbled. No better place to be.

I use to blame myself because of my "issues", but now i just thank God for humbling me through my weakness. All things work good for those who love God. Romans 8

dabro said:

Does the Father or Jesus humble His child if they have been disobedient? I mean ever since Obama was in office I backslid bad. Today I had to move two states over. I was getting prescribed klonopin for the anxiety. Now I have no doctor that will even take in consideration that I suffer.

Which I'm ok with. I just keep asking the same question. Is the benzo withdrawal going to end? If I does will I be what God called me to be. I'm needing advice because when I lived in Oklahoma I was so lukewarm. God uses all things for good to those who love Him. So I'm trying in the midst of darkness rely on Gods sovereignty.

Revelations Ch3 Vs 7. To the church of Philadelphia. God gave me this while I was backslidden and I said surely God you don't see this in me. But, God has been soooo good to me. Always showing up at the right time and helpinke in my walk with him.

Whatever the Lord lays in your heart in response to what I'm writing I will listen because I'm ready to go back to my Father.

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I do not believe God is punishing you. He loves us and His Holy Spirit gently guides.

With that said, God will work to increase our faith, so if a trial may bring you to stronger faith than God is probably in that.

1 Peter 1:6-7
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ

dabro said:

Thanks all. I've been withdrawaling for two months now. So I'm not out of the acute stage just yet. I was on one mg three times a day. I know hefty dose.

I'm getting there. Thank you for the advice.

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Hang in there.

Never messed with anything like that but, I did look it up briefly...3 months? wow. Hope the end justified the means.

dabro said:

Does the Father or Jesus humble His child if they have been disobedient? I mean ever since Obama was in office I backslid bad. Today I had to move two states over. I was getting prescribed klonopin for the anxiety. Now I have no doctor that will even take in consideration that I suffer.

Which I'm ok with. I just keep asking the same question. Is the benzo withdrawal going to end? If I does will I be what God called me to be. I'm needing advice because when I lived in Oklahoma I was so lukewarm. God uses all things for good to those who love Him. So I'm trying in the midst of darkness rely on Gods sovereignty.

Revelations Ch3 Vs 7. To the church of Philadelphia. God gave me this while I was backslidden and I said surely God you don't see this in me. But, God has been soooo good to me. Always showing up at the right time and helpinke in my walk with him.

Whatever the Lord lays in your heart in response to what I'm writing I will listen because I'm ready to go back to my Father.

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Mat 18:3-4 KJV
(3) And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
(4) Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

no; God doesn't humble us - we have to humble ourselves. but this doesn't mean to put yourself down; it means to agree with what God says about you rather than what your feelings, the current state of your flesh as perceived by the 5 senses, and the world says about you - God says that as a reborn believer, you are as righteous as Jesus in His eyes; that your sins are forgiven (ALL of them, those you have committed, those you are committing, and those you will commit); that you are an overcomer; a victor; ruler and reigner over your own life through His leading; the healed (in spite of sickness or disease you may be fighting off); the one delivered from the power of darkness (even if you're struggling with chronic sin) - but more importantly, to humble yourself before God means to become God-focused rather than self-focused (the natural state for all people in flesh bodies is self-focus - it's the state we all wake up in each morning and strive against in order to be God-focused). it's something that we never get finished with while we're in these flesh bodies - we are to be living sacrifices to God, but our flesh is always trying to crawl off the alter. your conscience isn't supposed to be something that condemns you all the time for your mistakes - it's supposed to remind you in the midst of your errors that God isn't mad at you, and simply wants you to come back into fellowship with Him so that he can lead you out of your errors - you have to renew your conscience with His word so that it becomes a beacon pointing back to God's unlimited mercy, forgiveness and grace to you as a reborn believer; and you renew your mind (and conscience) with His word.

Col 1:9-14 KJV
(9) For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;
(10) That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;
(11) Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;
(12) Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:
(13) Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:
(14) In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins:

you aren't waiting for God to deliver you; He's waiting for you to believe Him that you HAVE ALREADY BEEN delivered! this is GREAT news! because if you're waiting on God to move, then you're stuck - who can force God to do something? but if He's ALREADY moved, then it's up to you to receive by faith what He has already given to you by grace - and while no one can move God, we all can move ourselves.

this will help:

Audio Teachings - Andrew Wommack Ministries

Moore Life Ministries - Branson, MO

i heard a preacher say this once, and it really stuck with me. just outside God's Throne room of grace is the Mercy room. it's an empty room with 2 doors. as you become focused on your own poor performance (rather than His ever-enduring mercy toward you as a reborn believer), you automatically step out of the Throne room of grace and into the mercy room. the second door in the Mercy room on the opposite wall leads to the Judgement room, but that door was barred to you when you received spiritual rebirth (i.e., God judged Jesus instead of you - He isn't judging you now). the Mercy room is a place where you don't want to spend very much time; once you find yourself hanging your head in shame there, look up and see that the door to the Judgment room is closed to you, then turn around (repent) and step boldly back into the Throne room of grace through the door you entered through

when you realize you've messed up, immediately thank God for forgiving you some 2000 years before you were born, and don't let your own heart condemn you and by so doing stop the effectiveness of your world-overcoming faith. then turn around and joyfully seek God's wisdom about how to avoid messing up in that way in the future

1Jn 3:18-22 KJV
(18) My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
(19) And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.
(20) For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
(21) Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
(22) And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

let us love in deed and truth; and hereby (by loving in deed and truth) we assure our hearts before Him (that He is not condemning us); for if our heart condemn us (since God does not), God is greater than our heart (and knows we are His). Beloved (of God), if our heart condemns us not, then we have confidence toward God (we have world-overcoming faith in His grace toward us)

dabro said:

Thank you. I have been born again since I was 21. I received Gods grace with gladness. I backslid and got all messed up with benzos and doctors. Now I see my folly and want to come back to God. I'm thank Paul for your advice. I'm repenting and I know I go to the foot of the cross to receive mercy.

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Backsliding is what got me in my situation too!

Use your anxiety as a means of grace; Use it to grow closer to God. Running from it, you will find yourself in the arms of your Father. Then, in your trembling and weakness, His strength will show forth.

Edit: accidental double post

dabro said:

Wulp, I backslid when Obama got in office. Than I had to move out of state and had to switch doctors and they wouldn't prescribe klonopin anymore. Which all it did was numb my conscience.

Today even tho I'm being chastised l feel more closer to God than I have in the last ten years. It's struggling to go through this but God has been good to me.

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Keep praying, do not give up. Count it all joy when you suffer!