I'm becoming increasingly convinced that the most important thing in a partner is how compatible his/her approach to running a household is with yours.
Do you see a house as nothing more than an investment in real estate while your partner sees it as a medium for self-expression? Does your partner think of housekeeping as a set of chores while you see it as caring for everybody who lives in the home and may visit there? Do you see money as a necessary evil while your partner sees money as something to celebrate? Etc., etc.
I have not read anything about it, but it would not surprise me to find that empirical research shows that differences in attitudes/outlooks/approaches like the ones above are a reliable predictor of dissatisfaction in a relationship.
If I marry a woman that means that I am going to be running a household--and every detail of it--with her. I know that a lot of people preach compromise, compromise, compromise, but I invest too much thought and care--too much passion--into running my household to think, "I care about having a clean, organized household while she would rather spend all day at the mall and does not care how messy or disorganized things are. We will find a way to split the difference".
On the other hand, I know that I live in a culture where people seem to have increasingly short attention spans and where people increasingly do not seem to like to put any thought into anything other than their fantasy football league. Therefore, maybe I need to accept that I am in the minority and my choices are to either share an uninspiring living room with somebody or continue to live alone.
Do you see a house as nothing more than an investment in real estate while your partner sees it as a medium for self-expression? Does your partner think of housekeeping as a set of chores while you see it as caring for everybody who lives in the home and may visit there? Do you see money as a necessary evil while your partner sees money as something to celebrate? Etc., etc.
I have not read anything about it, but it would not surprise me to find that empirical research shows that differences in attitudes/outlooks/approaches like the ones above are a reliable predictor of dissatisfaction in a relationship.
If I marry a woman that means that I am going to be running a household--and every detail of it--with her. I know that a lot of people preach compromise, compromise, compromise, but I invest too much thought and care--too much passion--into running my household to think, "I care about having a clean, organized household while she would rather spend all day at the mall and does not care how messy or disorganized things are. We will find a way to split the difference".
On the other hand, I know that I live in a culture where people seem to have increasingly short attention spans and where people increasingly do not seem to like to put any thought into anything other than their fantasy football league. Therefore, maybe I need to accept that I am in the minority and my choices are to either share an uninspiring living room with somebody or continue to live alone.
