Unto more important matters..

Ok, right now I am coming out of around a 6 year black slide. I was raised as a christian and have asways known the Christ came and died for my sins and have always beleived in God. But i rearly walked the walked or even talked the talk starting i would say when i was about 13. When i enter college it got even worse. I almost completely ignored religion. It wasnt until I rolled my car into a ditch after a night of drinking that i was able to see that i was headed down a every bad path. So now i have started praying again not as much as i should, have got myself a bible and started reading te scripture. I still struggle with many things.

well i hope thats not too confusing.

Just man falls 7 times but he knows to get up back again.

There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Forgetting the things which are behind do press forward towards to mark.

Think it not strange when troubled befall you knowing that your trying workth pateince.

There is no temptation or sorrow or pain or doubt that is new...Jesus went through them even on the cross so he will take us through.
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I live by these creed I hope yall will embrace them and be encoraged. I can talk baout my past and what not but... I rather say right now.

Right now... I am ok. I could be better but it could be worst. Surely I know what it is like to be a committed christian, backsliden, turn back on GOd, doubting, you name it...but His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

I cant change the past and neither can I see the future but....I am saved and that is all that matters right now.

I just started going back to church last week. I hadn't been for a very long time, and I definitely felt it.

I'm also throwing myself back into the Word, though it's a struggle to get excited about it when I read it now and I feel the conviction so much that I want to throw my Bible across the room.

Right now I'm also at a point where I'm cleaning out the crap that harbored sin in my life. Quitting smoking and taking better care of myself as a person are the two main hurdles I'm facing right now. I'm trying to avoid the feeling that I need to clean up on my own, though that's a true struggle.

I'm also dealing with quite a bit of loneliness, though it isn't a traumatic emotional low for me. I have my moments of joy, my moments of sadness, my moments of anger. I'm usually able to carry on, but I do cry or punch a wall when I need to. It just feels really cold in my heart right now, but I am content. I'm not happy about where I am at, but I'd rather have God's will in my life than my own, so because me being single is God's will, I find contentment in that.