OCD and my faith

Hey, I know it is tough, but just trust GOD through all of your problems. HE LOVES YOU! I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU!!

Hi Honeycomb son:
Welcome to the OCD forum. You are not alone with your "feelings." OCD is an anxiety disorder that produces all sorts of fearful "feelings" to go along with perpetual thoughts of doubt...OCD will tell you the "opposite" of what you truly believe or want, that is why it is such a beast. It produces thoughts and feelings that are not representative of who we really are which is why it is so disturbing. There is cognitive behavior therapy and exposure response prevention therapy that is the key to unlocking the door to OCD recovery. Check out the article I posted called 4 challenges to OCD recovery. Find a doctor or someone who specializes in treating OCD to help you. But stay on this forum...There are so many great people on this forum that have been there and understand the pain of OCD.

HoneyComb Son said:

Hey there all. I have come here for some help

I know I have OCD. A physctrist diganosed me with mild form of it. I think its not to mild..but medium..sometimes.as i have learned wisdom in order to be better

I have some concerns though...the OCD causes me to feel excessive guilt. over little things..which is i know a symptom. Like I want to know or know if others can relate and help me

like my feelings are over all the place..I know this is a synptom of it too..but like my feelings dont match up to what i want or intent.. I always feel like i hate people..when i dont!..or i cant love people..which i know i can.but dont believe i can..because of my feelings..my feelings dont match up to what i want!..it drives me crazy!.because i feel all of these ways.but its not how i am..or what i want..but it causes such doubt saying how i can love people.i am!..i try..but i wonder if it hinders me..because of my doubt that i can.

it really bothers me..need encouragement and understanding...feelings come and go i know..but i just need support..

God bless

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Hi Honeycomb, and welcome! I don't know if you read this post or not, but I posted something pretty similar in a post called "Problems with my feelings." I, too, suffer from feelings of intense guilt. I joke a lot that if anyone just wants me to do anything, just make me feel guilty about it and I'll do it. I've been working hard not to let my feelings of guilt get in the way of certain things. I know this is part of my OCD but it's hard to break something you've been doing for your entire life.

Boxers is right on when she talks about OCD creating these feelings that make our thoughts seem true or valid. I also have a big problem with my feelings. It seems as though that's where OCD can get me the most. I have also had feelings of hate/inability to love, the worst part is, it focuses on my husband a lot of the time, which just kills me inside because I know that deep down I love him a whole lot and think the world of him. It's hard, but OCD seems to attack the things that we care about the most in life - for me, that's my religious beliefs and my relationship with my husband.

Anyway, I definitely recommend reading the article that Boxers mentioned. It is really tough, but OCD can be overcome. There's lots of great advice on this forum, and everyone is extremely warm and caring.

HoneyComb Son said:

Hey there all. I have come here for some help

I know I have OCD. A physctrist diganosed me with mild form of it. I think its not to mild..but medium..sometimes.as i have learned wisdom in order to be better

I have some concerns though...the OCD causes me to feel excessive guilt. over little things..which is i know a symptom. Like I want to know or know if others can relate and help me

like my feelings are over all the place..I know this is a synptom of it too..but like my feelings dont match up to what i want or intent.. I always feel like i hate people..when i dont!..or i cant love people..which i know i can.but dont believe i can..because of my feelings..my feelings dont match up to what i want!..it drives me crazy!.because i feel all of these ways.but its not how i am..or what i want..but it causes such doubt saying how i can love people.i am!..i try..but i wonder if it hinders me..because of my doubt that i can.

it really bothers me..need encouragement and understanding...feelings come and go i know..but i just need support..

God bless

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HI Honeycomb,
Ditto's to all the great advice and encouragement offered to you thus far. Exposure/response/prevention therapy is the therapy that really works.
One thing that helps me with my OCD is to continually set the thought before me that -
"my feelings do not matter - what I choose to do does".
I choose to do the things that I know are well pleasing to God even with the prescence of those anxious feelings. I try to accept the feelings as clear evidence that I have OCD. They are just a manifestation of the mifiring in the fight or flight center of my brain. Then I can accept that the feelings are not my fault - I did not choose them but they can't undo the power of my will to do right.
This quote from CS Lewis which I've written before really sums up the truth about OCD for me. It helps me to just say "so what!" to my anxious OCD feelings. To just ride them out instead of fighting against them until they fade away.

Lewis:

"The act of cowardice is all that matters, the emotion of fear is, in itself, no sin."

So glad to have you visit the forum. Hope you'll stick around. The forum has been a huge source of love and encouragement to me in my own OCD struggles.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

Hi Mitzi, just wanted to say thank you for a really helpful post...especially "my feelings do not matter - what I choose to do does". Hope it helps others too...take care, Rachel

HoneyComb Son said:

BUmp on the thread

I really think I am starting to see how much OCD has or is affecting my life. I really ddint think much of it..I thought it was me..

BUt now.i am reallizing how much I hav OCD..and how it affects my life..


I constantly worry.and doubt everything.and i cannot tell what i want.or whats me..cause i dont know what i want..cause tahts all i ever knew.just my OCD.what the feelings and thoughts where.I believed them for so long..that i feel I lost myself and my desires..


hurts alot


need help

I am currently dating a girl...i constantly fear and worry about if I am attracted to her..makes me so sad...i think on all her faults..i feel bad..feel bad things.what the hell???


what is the truth?

could use some help...its destroying my life..at work..with family..friends.and with gf...sigh

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HI Honeycomb,
I'm so sorry for the extreme pain you are in. Are you being treated for your OCD? On any meds. or being taught how to use exposure/response/prevention therapy?
We can't have a passive, I'll just sit around and wait for the OCD to fade away attitude. We have to actively work at overcoming it.
OCD will always cause you to question and doubt things and it will always target those things and relationships that are most important to us. It is called, "the doubting disease."
I also call it, "the accusing disease", because it can make me second guess everything. Am I really saved? Will I go crazy and hurt a loved one? Do I really love this person?, Am I feeling the right feelings? Why did I think that thought? Does this mean I'm a terrible person?? Is this OCD or is it me?? Blah...Blah...Blah.. on and on it blabs in my head. When these questions come up and they are accompanied by intense anxiety and a great urge to solve them, argue with them, do things to try and cancel them, avoid things that cause them to intensify etc., then I can go right ahead and put the stamp of "invalid/OCD obsession" on them. It's then I know that I must do my best to ignore the thought, just let it be there without giving in to the tremendous urge to begin obsessing about it.
The very fact that the question/doubt of your feelings toward the girl upsets you is a huge indicator that you really do care for her. But when you have OCD it will try and convince you that your feelings aren't genuine enough. Often OCD will cause a person to avoid deep or committed relationships because of the fear of failure.
Learn all you can about exposure/response/prevention therapy. The more you understand OCD tactics the better armed you will be to do battle with it. And doing battle really means to not fight the thoughts. To say, Oh well... that's just an OCD thought.. and I'm not gonna feed it.
God Bless... I'm praying for you.
Mitzi