Question for the ladies

My dbf and I don't go out to eat too often but I do pay sometimes. It's not because he expects it or can't afford it. I do it as a nice gesture.

When I first started dating my boyfriend I offered to pay because I didn't want him to feel like I was just using him. Then I eventually realized he got upset every time I offered to pay because he enjoys paying for me So now I let him pay, and get the tips...because he forgets every time.

I think its really nice if the guy pays,at least most of the time.
I dont mind going dutch and paying every once in a while.But,somehow it just seems like the mans role or something to pay.Maybe I'm just traditional,I dont know.
Since my fiance is a full time student and only works when he is on break (and I am a part time student,but work full-time) I dont mind paying my way most of the time-mostly because I know he's not rolling in cash.

Soon we will be married so it wont really matter any more....

I don't have a boyfriend just yet... but I have a really hard time letting people pay for things for me.

I think it's something I need to work on... I think it's sometimes more rude to pay for yourself than to let him pay for you... and some guys become offended if you don't let them pay. something i need to work on...

just dont want someone thinking i'm taking advantage of them...

I've changed my mind. He should always pay until and after they get married.

End of

I'm quite enjoying being liberated now!

When my bf and I go out, he pays most of the time, but there have been a few times when I have paid for my own or on the rare occasion (twice since we've been together) I have paid for everything.

Gardener101 said:

I've changed my mind. He should always pay until and after they get married.

End of

I'm quite enjoying being liberated now!

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Excellent ........



Kathy

ChildofGod1586 said:

Do you like taking your guy out or paying for things while out? Or do you think that the guy should be the one to pay? Why? Ok, ignore the title, this is no longer just for girls, lol. Guys what do you think about your gf paying? Do you like it when she does?

I'll give my thoughts later

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well, I don't mind paying for the guy. Especially if its his birthday or something..then I'd definitely pay!
I'm either for paying for him or splitting the bill, so we aren't fighting who will pay.

I'm all for paying for dates, but I'm not gonna date someone who expects it. I'm generous and I like doing things like that for someone I care about, but in this day and age, expecting the male to pay for everything is unreasonable. I know saying it's 'old fashioned' is cliche, but in this case it's absolutely true. That expectation came in the past because men made MUCH more money than women, and many women didn't even have jobs. That's absolutely not true these days. Most of the time women will be earning around the same as men, so it's unfair for a woman to make the man go poor paying for everything while she doesn't have to spend a dime. I'm all for being chivalrous, and I love doing those things by my choice, but I won't be with someone who's expecting me to wait on them hand and foot while running my bank account dry.

Danc922 said:

I'm all for paying for dates, but I'm not gonna date someone who expects it. I'm generous and I like doing things like that for someone I care about

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I think that's true -- no one wants to be taken advantage of. Would you pay for the meals of girls who are just friends in that same light?

Carrye said:

I think that's true -- no one wants to be taken advantage of. Would you pay for the meals of girls who are just friends in that same light?

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Sure. I've paid for female friends' meals before at birthday get togethers and such.

Well hold the phone. *instant of realization* ...if you also believe men should pay for tradition sake then you must also realize the reason why they did in the beginning. Women didn't HAVE an education to give us the ability to have our own financial independence. We learned how to sew and keep house...that was our way of "working". That's changed now....and if those roles can switch so can "who pays".

Aibrean said:

Well hold the phone. *instant of realization* ...if you also believe men should pay for tradition sake then you must also realize the reason why they did in the beginning. Women didn't HAVE an education to give us the ability to have our own financial independence. We learned how to sew and keep house...that was our way of "working". That's changed now....and if those roles can switch so can "who pays".

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who really cares though? in the end each couple is going to do what works for them

LongLegs said:

Sorry.... But YOU asked...... It's very simple:

When dating, the man should always pay for everything.

This is true for the first date, and for the 100th date and beyond.

I will not date ANY guy who will not pay for everything, pick me up where I will be, and try to do the things I want on the date.

In turn, he gets a fantastic woman to be with!

Kathy

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So it's all about you then!?

And to all those who think it's all about them, well, good luck. >>>> Good luck to who ever it is you end up with.

when u first start dating it is a good idea for the guy to pay, after the engagement it is mutual whoever pays at that time

When my boyfriend and I started seeing each other casually he was paying for everything and I'd offer to split everything with him but he would not accept my money. Eventually when we became "official" he started allowing me to get some meals/outings. Now it's fairly even, though he still pays for the more expensive meals.

I would never expect someone to pay my way. I have a good paying job and I'm very self sufficient. That being said, I still enjoy being with someone who spoils me and pays for things often.

Alexandrah said:

That being said, I still enjoy being with someone who spoils me and pays for things often.

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I think that's more of it than anything. I don't care if the meal is expensive or otherwise, it is the fact that in some way I am set apart from everyone else.

LongLegs said:

Sorry.... But YOU asked...... It's very simple:

When dating, the man should always pay for everything.

This is true for the first date, and for the 100th date and beyond.

I will not date ANY guy who will not pay for everything, pick me up where I will be, and try to do the things I want on the date.

In turn, he gets a fantastic woman to be with!

Kathy

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I do not understand why. I feel like that is very selfish on your part. To be a successful relationship one person cannot always do the choosing there has to be compromise.

When I go on a date with my SO a real date, he pays, a lets go to the movies and eat in the food court date we pay for each other, or I would cover his food and He covered my movie. Financially we wouldn't go out much if he had to pay all the time.