Church Dresscode

MaidforHim said:

Besides that the night club type dress can cause others to stumble which we are also called not to do.

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The way ladies dress do not cause guys to stumble!

Piedpiper123 said:

The way ladies dress do not cause guys to stumble!

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Ya, right.

I worked in a machine shop for many years and the guys themselves would comment on just such situations.

There are men battling additcions to inappropriate contentography or are even going to therapy for sex crimes who are tempted and stumble and the inappropriate attire some women where is a contributing factor.

In the same way drinking beer in front of an alcoholic may cause them to stumble.

Why do you think God specifically warned us NOT to behave in ways that would cause others to stumble?

Romans 14:12-13
12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God. 13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

1 Corinthians 8:9-13
9 But take heed lest by any means this liberty F24 of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak. 10 For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened F25 to eat those things which are offered to idols; 11 And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? 12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ. 13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.

MaidforHim said:

There are men battling additcions to inappropriate contentography or are even going to therapy for sex crimes who are tempted and stumble and the inappropriate attire some women where is a contributing factor.

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If a man is battling an adiction to inappropriate content or has committed sex crimes, he is most probably going to be tempted by any attractive woman, irregardless of what she is wearing.

The fact is that we are all responsible for our own actions.

The church that I attend holds itself out as being a "come as you are" church. We have a very eclectic mix on Sunday mornings. Some people who wear their "Sunday best"--coat and tie for men, dresses for women. Others come in jeans (yes, sometimes very tight jeans) and t-shirts. During the summer it isn't unusual to see women in shorts and halter tops. The important thing is that they are in church worshiping God.

Archivist said:

If a man is battling an adiction to inappropriate content or has committed sex crimes, he is most probably going to be tempted by any attractive woman, irregardless of what she is wearing.

The fact is that we are all responsible for our own actions.

The church that I attend holds itself out as being a "come as you are" church. We have a very eclectic mix on Sunday mornings. Some people who wear their "Sunday best"--coat and tie for men, dresses for women. Others come in jeans (yes, sometimes very tight jeans) and t-shirts. During the summer it isn't unusual to see women in shorts and halter tops. The important thing is that they are in church worshiping God.

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I agree, absolutely. My church is the same.

However, I disagree that the way women dress does not stumble others. And the same for the way some men dress. Let me put it another way...


Now considering these two verses and 1 Corinthians 8:9-13 posted above about not causeing others to stumble I think it's pretty clear as to why we need to be dressing modestly. God tells us to dress modestly and He has many good reasons for that. Not stumbling others is just one of them.

I have knownd an still know women who dress provocatively to purposely get attention from men. It's not a new thing. Even prostitutes advertise in this manner.

Now if a woman comes to church or even the office for that matter in a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display no doubt she can cause some others to stumble. The verses above mentions lustful thoughts as sin. That's stumbling.

Sometimes a thought is something that pops into your mind, you don't necessarily say "I think I'll go think some thoughts." Other times visual things are leading, there are a lot of possibilities.

You see someone eating an ice cream cone on a hot day when your hungry and sometimes your stomach growls before you even realize it's almost lunch time. We are very visual creatures.

Besides all that there are like I said many good reasons for modest dress and if you've read my other posts you know I am not talking about long skirts and turtle necks. There's a clear line or difference between short, tight, and low cut and tasteful modern and yet modest clothes, tank tops, shorts, what ever. Common sense and good taste... balance. Not extremes.

Are there those that will stumble no matter what a woman is wearing well of course there are, but then her dress didn't cause or help them to stumble.....

In that case it is like you said they are responsible for that sin alone. But to say that a womans dress "can't" cause someone to stumble is unreasonable. Haveing worked in the fashion industry I've seen way too much to believe that.

Yes, the person who stumbles is responsible for their decisions, their sin, their stumbling, but he Bible is clearly telling us that to do things that will cause others to stumble is also wrong in God's eyes.

Besides that God's word tells us to dress modestly in 1 Timothy 2:9 and He's placed a high value on modesty. That's His instruction, not something some one just made up.

Come as you are churches don't fore go modesty, they allow and welcome folks in many different styles of dress. That in no way changes Biblical instruction to be modest.

I think our society has a skewed view of what the word "modesty" really means. It's not a bad word and it doesn't mean ugly...

MaidforHim said:

I agree, absolutely. My church is the same.

However, I disagree that the way women dress does not stumble others. And the same for the way some men dress. Let me put it another way...

Mt 19:18 - Show Context He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,​

Mt 5:28 - Show Context But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.​

Now considering these two verses and 1 Corinthians 8:9-13 posted above about not causeing others to stumble I think it's pretty clear as to why we need to be dressing modestly. God tells us to dress modestly and He has many good reasons for that. Not stumbling others is just one of them.

I have knownd an still know women who dress provocatively to purposely get attention from men. It's not a new thing. Even prostitutes advertise in this manner.

Now if a woman comes to church or even the office for that matter in a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display no doubt she can cause some others to stumble. The verses above mentions lustful thoughts as sin. That's stumbling.

Sometimes a thought is something that pops into your mind, you don't necessarily say "I think I'll go think some thoughts." Other times visual things are leading, there are a lot of possibilities.

You see someone eating an ice cream cone on a hot day when your hungry and sometimes your stomach growls before you even realize it's almost lunch time. We are very visual creatures.

Besides all that there are like I said many good reasons for modest dress and if you've read my other posts you know I am not talking about long skirts and turtle necks. There's a clear balance between short, tight, and low cut and tasteful modern and yet modest clothes, tank tops, shorts, what ever. Common sense and good taste... balance. Not extremes.

Are there those that will stumble no matter what a woman is wearing well of course there are, but then her dress didn't cause or help them to stumble.....

In that case it is like you said they are responsible for that sin alone. But to say that a womans dress "can't" cause someone to stumble is unreasonable. Haveing worked in the fashion industry I've seen way too much to believe that.

Yes, the person who stumbles is responsible for their decisions, their sin, their stumbling, but he Bible is clearly telling us that to do things that will cause others to stumble is also wrong in God's eyes.

Besides that God's word tells us to dress modestly in 1 Timothy 2:9 and He's placed a high value on modesty. That's His instruction, not something some one just made up.

Come as you are churches don't fore go modesty, they allow and welcome folks in many different styles of dress. That in no way changes Biblical instruction to be modest.

I think our society has a skewed view of what the word "modesty" really means. It's not a bad word and it doesn't mean ugly...

mod·es·ty mod-uh-stee]​

1.the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.​

2.regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.​

3.simplicity; moderation.​

[Origin: 1525&#8211;35; < L modestia. See modest, -y3

]​

American Heritage Dictionary -​

mod·es·ty (m&#335;d'&#301;-st&#275 n.​

1. The state or quality of being modest.
2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language
​

modesty​

1531, "freedom from exaggeration, self-control," from M.Fr. modestie, from L. modestia "moderation," from modestus "moderate, keeping measure, sober," from modus "measure, manner" (see mode (1)). Meaning "having a moderate opinion of oneself" is from 1553. Modest (adj.) is first recorded 1565.​

Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas HarperWordNet - Cite This Source​

modesty​

noun1. freedom from vanity or conceit [ant: immodesty]​

2. formality and propriety of manner​

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.​

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K, now define vanity lol
Modesty: such as Dwayne THE DOG Chapman's wife, Beth's attire.

Nadiine said:

K, now define vanity lol Modesty: such as Dwayne THE DOG Chapman's wife, Beth's attire.

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LOL

Of course I had to look it up just for the fun of it and then when I did I found all sort of definitions that pertain directly to why someone would dress immodestly. Funny how it all links together, even the antonyms are pertinent.

So you asked for it, here it is. LOL

van·i·ty
[van-i-tee] noun, plural -ties, adjective

1.excessive pride in one's appearance, qualities, abilities, achievements, etc.; character or quality of being vain; conceit: Failure to be elected was a great blow to his vanity.
2.an instance or display of this quality or feeling.
3.something about which one is vain.
4.lack of real value; hollowness; worthlessness: the vanity of a selfish life.
5.something worthless, trivial, or pointless.
6.vanity case.
7.dressing table.
8.a wide, counterlike shelf containing a wash basin, as in the bathroom of a hotel or residence, often equipped with shelves, drawers, etc., underneath.
9.a cabinet built below or around a bathroom sink, primarily to hide exposed pipes.
10.compact1 (def. 13). &#8211;adjective
11.produced as a showcase for one's own talents, esp. as a writer, actor, singer, or composer: a vanity production.
12.of, pertaining to, or issued by a vanity press: a spate of vanity books.

[Origin: 1200&#8211;50; ME vanite < OF < L v&#257;nit&#257;s, equiv. to v&#257;n- (see vain) + -it&#257;s- -ity

]

&#8212;Related forms van·i·tied, adjective

&#8212;Synonyms
1. egotism, complacency, vainglory, ostentation. See pride.
4. emptiness, sham, unreality, folly, triviality, futility.
&#8212;Antonyms 1. humility.




van·i·ty (v&#257;n'&#301;-t&#275
n. pl. van·i·ties

1. The quality or condition of being vain.
2. Excessive pride in one's appearance or accomplishments; conceit. See Synonyms at conceit.
3. Lack of usefulness, worth, or effect; worthlessness.
4. 1. Something that is vain, futile, or worthless.
   2. Something about which one is vain or conceited.
5. A vanity case.
6. See dressing table.
7. A bathroom cabinet that encloses a basin and its water lines and drain, usually furnished with shelves and drawers underneath for storage of toiletries.

[Middle English vanite, from Old French, from Latin v&#257;nit&#257;s, from v&#257;nus, empty; see eu&#601;- in Indo-European roots.]




vanity

c.1230, "that which is vain, futile, or worthless,"
from O.Fr. vanite, from L. vanitatem (nom. vanitas) "emptiness, foolish pride," from vanus "empty, vain, idle" (see vain). Meaning "self-conceited" is attested from c.1340. Vanity table is attested from 1936. Vanity Fair is from "Pilgrim's Progress" (1678).




vanity
noun
1. feelings of excessive pride [syn: amour propre]
2. the quality of being valueless or futile; "he rejected the vanities of the world"
3. the trait of being unduly vain and conceited; false pride [syn: conceit] [ant: humbleness]
4. low table with mirror or mirrors where one sits while dressing or applying makeup [syn: dressing table]


http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vanity

MaidforHim said:

I have knownd an still know women who dress provocatively to purposely get attention from men. It's not a new thing. Even prostitutes advertise in this manner.

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Now if a woman comes to church or even the office for that matter in a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display no doubt she can cause some others to stumble. The verses above mentions lustful thoughts as sin. That's stumbling.

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A man who comes in a nice car could also cause some to stumble and commit the sin of envy. Ceratin things that many of us do could cause others to stumble. Where do we draw the line?

Sometimes a thought is something that pops into your mind, you don't necessarily say "I think I'll go think some thoughts." Other times visual things are leading, there are a lot of possibilities.

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True. Again, where do we draw the line? What stimulates one person might not stimulate another.

You see someone eating an ice cream cone on a hot day when your hungry and sometimes your stomach growls before you even realize it's almost lunch time. We are very visual creatures.

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Agreed, but we are aech responsible for our own thoughts.

Besides all that there are like I said many good reasons for modest dress and if you've read my other posts you know I am not talking about long skirts and turtle necks. There's a clear line or difference between short, tight, and low cut and tasteful modern and yet modest clothes, tank tops, shorts, what ever. Common sense and good taste... balance. Not extremes.

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But these standards aren't so clear. They will change depending on factors such as age and local culture.

Are there those that will stumble no matter what a woman is wearing well of course there are, but then her dress didn't cause or help them to stumble.....

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Agreed.

In that case it is like you said they are responsible for that sin alone. But to say that a womans dress "can't" cause someone to stumble is unreasonable. Haveing worked in the fashion industry I've seen way too much to believe that.

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But we are still each responsible for our own actions.

Yes, the person who stumbles is responsible for their decisions, their sin, their stumbling, but he Bible is clearly telling us that to do things that will cause others to stumble is also wrong in God's eyes.

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Like driving nice cars, having a well-paying job, eating good food, etc., etc., etc.....

Besides that God's word tells us to dress modestly in 1 Timothy 2:9 and He's placed a high value on modesty. That's His instruction, not something some one just made up.

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But when read in context thsi verse is clearly talking about women overdressing, not underdressing. You have to read the whole verse, not just fragments.

Come as you are churches don't fore go modesty, they allow and welcome folks in many different styles of dress. That in no way changes Biblical instruction to be modest.

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But if a "come as you are" church adopts standards, it is no longer a "come as you are" church." It becomes a "come as we think you should be" church.

I think our society has a skewed view of what the word "modesty" really means. It's not a bad word and it doesn't mean ugly...

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But modesty in the original sense was much more concerned with overdressing.

The poster above, MaidforHim, said "a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display"

How objective is that?

I mean is it a sin to show any of the cleft between breasts? One inch? Two inches? How far is it okay and at what point does it become a sin?

What I see being argued is so totally subjective. One person might think that showing any chest at all is wrong. Another might think it's wrong to show more than two inches of cleavage.

I still agree that we should be modest. We should not dress with the intention of enticing another. We should consider our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit and dress it accordingly.

But we've also come to agreement on the topic that there are those who come to church, saved and unsaved alike, whose clothes are IN OUR OPINIONS too tight or too short or too low cut.

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?????

The title of this thread is "Church Dresscode."

Should we adopt dress codes?

Should there be a pamphlet at the door of our churches stating what we expect people to wear or not to wear when they come?

Should there be an impromptu mini-sermon by the pastor every time someone comes in dressed improperly?

How do we decide on an arbitrary standard?

We've been arguing about what's modest and what's not for 188 posts. Just arguing and not comming to any sort of agreement. Some folks seem to feel very strongly about it but the last time I made a comment about DOING SOMETHING (like having cover ups such as some fancy dress restaurants have - they might keep spare ties and jackets for those men who come in without them) it was suggested that I was being extreme.

TamiinKS said:

The poster above, MaidforHim, said "a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display"

How objective is that?

I mean is it a sin to show any of the cleft between breasts? One inch? Two inches? How far is it okay and at what point does it become a sin?

What I see being argued is so totally subjective. One person might think that showing any chest at all is wrong. Another might think it's wrong to show more than two inches of cleavage.

I still agree that we should be modest. We should not dress with the intention of enticing another. We should consider our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit and dress it accordingly.

But we've also come to agreement on the topic that there are those who come to church, saved and unsaved alike, whose clothes are IN OUR OPINIONS too tight or too short or too low cut.

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?????

The title of this thread is "Church Dresscode."

Should we adopt dress codes?

Should there be a pamphlet at the door of our churches stating what we expect people to wear or not to wear when they come?

Should there be an impromptu mini-sermon by the pastor every time someone comes in dressed improperly?

How do we decide on an arbitrary standard?

We've been arguing about what's modest and what's not for 188 posts. Just arguing and not comming to any sort of agreement. Some folks seem to feel very strongly about it but the last time I made a comment about DOING SOMETHING (like having cover ups such as some fancy dress restaurants have - they might keep spare ties and jackets for those men who come in without them) it was suggested that I was being extreme.

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I think if you read the rest of the posts you'd see what most churches do, or how they respond, at least mine anyway.

I could not think of any more polite way to put it than I did. But I am talking about a low cut shirt that would embarass you if you were standing their with Jesus, or your 17 yr old son.

I'm doing a little more research and will try to reply more later.

I think the point that seems to be missed here is that the Holy Spirit is involved here and some people choose their own vanity over the Holy Spirits voice and don't seem to care about the consequences their actions may have. Or don't even know that God has requested us to be modest in our dress.

I could give you a specific example of one young woman and how she dressed when she first came to our church, but I'd have to think about how to word it so it would be appropriate for this forum.

MaidforHim said:

Ya, right.

I worked in a machine shop for many years and the guys themselves would comment on just such situations.

There are men battling additcions to inappropriate contentography or are even going to therapy for sex crimes who are tempted and stumble and the inappropriate attire some women where is a contributing factor.

Click to expand...

If a man sins by looking at a woman and wanting to have sex with her I believe the fault is 100% his not hers. We are all able to control our thoughts.

TamiinKS said:

The poster above, MaidforHim, said "a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display"

How objective is that?

I mean is it a sin to show any of the cleft between breasts? One inch? Two inches? How far is it okay and at what point does it become a sin?

What I see being argued is so totally subjective. One person might think that showing any chest at all is wrong. Another might think it's wrong to show more than two inches of cleavage.

I still agree that we should be modest. We should not dress with the intention of enticing another. We should consider our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit and dress it accordingly.

But we've also come to agreement on the topic that there are those who come to church, saved and unsaved alike, whose clothes are IN OUR OPINIONS too tight or too short or too low cut.

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?????

The title of this thread is "Church Dresscode."

Should we adopt dress codes?

Should there be a pamphlet at the door of our churches stating what we expect people to wear or not to wear when they come?

Should there be an impromptu mini-sermon by the pastor every time someone comes in dressed improperly?

How do we decide on an arbitrary standard?

We've been arguing about what's modest and what's not for 188 posts. Just arguing and not comming to any sort of agreement. Some folks seem to feel very strongly about it but the last time I made a comment about DOING SOMETHING (like having cover ups such as some fancy dress restaurants have - they might keep spare ties and jackets for those men who come in without them) it was suggested that I was being extreme.

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Well, as to the top portion of your post w/ 1 or 2 inches of cleavage showing, I'd only offer this: MOTIVE for leaving the bustline showing so much.
WHY the need at church? What is it intended to do?

I'd also ask this, would we be showing all that cleavage when going to an all women's meeting or retreat? I'd venture to say no.
I dress the same way with all women as I do men and women.

But I'm a little leary of church dresscodes mainly when we're seeking to get people there & get them fed on the word of God.
It's a little discouraging to be noting people's attire as they walk in.

I'm not exactly for it; most people do use a fair amount of modesty... but for the few who don't, I have to say it's definitely distracting & uncomfortable.

If someone has large breasts then its almost impossible to hide them. I like V-necks that dont go too low. A turtle neck just highlights the fact that I have big boobs but I find v-necks actually make them look smaller and less noticeable.

I was not modest in my younger days but after I got sick and put on weight I learnt to cover up. Now I have lost the weight again I have stuck to a kinda trendy modesty. I like fashionable clothes as long as I am not on show.

MaidforHim said:

Now if a woman comes to church or even the office for that matter in a blouse so low cut that quite a bit of her bustline is on display no doubt she can cause some others to stumble. The verses above mentions lustful thoughts as sin. That's stumbling.

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I think it is unfair and incorrect to lay a guilt trip on ladies for the sins of men. Most men don't go into uncontrollable thinking about sex just because they see some cleavage. Those that do probably have a whole range of triggers other than low cut blouses.

MaidforHim said:

I could not think of any more polite way to put it than I did. But I am talking about a low cut shirt that would embarass you if you were standing their with Jesus, or your 17 yr old son.

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Again, this comes down to other factors such as culture and age.

I think the point that seems to be missed here is that the Holy Spirit is involved here and some people choose their own vanity over the Holy Spirits voice and don't seem to care about the consequences their actions may have.

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Maybe these people who you claim are giving into their own vanity are in fact listening to the Holy Spirit.

Or don't even know that God has requested us to be modest in our dress.

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Again, the verse cited earlier dealt with overdressing not underdressing.

I could give you a specific example of one young woman and how she dressed when she first came to our church, but I'd have to think about how to word it so it would be appropriate for this forum.

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I will await your example.

Piedpiper123 said:

I think it is unfair and incorrect to lay a guilt trip on ladies for the sins of men. Most men don't go into uncontrollable thinking about sex just because they see some cleavage. Those that do probably have a whole range of triggers other than low cut blouses.

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I did not write scripture God did. HE tells us "lustful thoughts are sin" and HE tells us we are not to stumble others.

I never said men couldn't do the same for women, but it does seem to be something that more women do than men. Men seem to get attention in other ways.

I don't wear long skirts and turtle necks like a daily uniform, never said no one should ever wear a V-neck and did not say that a woman should HIDE her figure. God designed each of us with purpose, intent and beauty.

However, putting it on display is not appropriate either.

Let me give you real world example.

New young woman comes to church, she's a baby Christian, brand new believer. When she comes to church she wears things like this....

You know that silky stretchy clingy material that is also a bit silky and shiny it's realy comfy. If just a little snug it will show everything underneith.... From your bra straps to your belly button... It comforms to your body almost like wearing paint . You get the picture I'm sure.

Properly fitting and with a slip they are fine in public. BUT without a slip and if it's too tight you can see everything that's under or isn't under the dress...

This young woman would wear them with no under garments, none, everything pretty much showing :o I could go into detail to get the point across, but it just doesn't seem apropriate for this forum.

I was embarrassed for her. The teen boys would see her and head the other way. She'd go talk to one of the young men and they'd blush and try to duck out.

My daughter then about 13-14 waited until we got in the car and said "Did you see Miss @#$%'s dress? It looked like she was naked?

Both my boys one older and one younger just cringed!!! "ah man I can't believe you said that!" "That is so embarrassing!" and "Why's does she do that?" were just some of things discussed. I just told the kids what I've told you... she's a baby Christian and asked them to pray for her.

No one ever said a word to her. In the last 2 years she's grown and slowly, naturally her dress has become more and more apropriate.

On the other hand our church has teenagers who struggle with their faith, who look at women dressing like that and want to prove that "other women dress this way so it must be OK for me" and will wear similar things.

Is a dress code the answer? No, I don't think so.

As I said previously, I think the answer is for the pastor to teach on modesty and apropriate behavior directly form the Bible so we can do as God says He wants us to. And also for the church body to pray for individuals struggling in this area as needed.

If you don't agree well then fine, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. But it wasn't me that wrote the Bible and if God takes the time to tell me in many verses and through many examples that He wants and appreciates modesty from me, from me He will get it.

fuzzymel said:

If someone has large breasts then its almost impossible to hide them.

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Yes!!!

A modest v-necked shirt on me will show a little bit of cleavage because my girls won't be hidden. Two inches of cleavage on a small busted woman could indeed be "hanging it all out."

edited to add:

I think I take this topic personally and tend to get up in arms about it because it always seems like the way I dress would be characterized as immodest by some. At least by the descriptions. And all because of this one part of my anatomy that wouldn't be small and easily concealed. I have no desire to attract the attention of any man other than my husband. But there are those who would assume my motive because I show cleavage.

I'm not quite sure why this subject is so touchy for some people. Is it a human pride issue, or a vanity issue, or that I am just not communicating my position very well, or if some people are more comfortable picking and choosing from God's word, what they will and won't obey.

In case it is my lack of communication skills I thought I would share a resource that does a better job of explaining how I view what the Bible has to say on Modesty. I've not read any of their other teachings, but this one explains what I think the Bible is trying to teach us. The scripture references are also very good.

Beyond this I guess we'll just have to respectfully agree to disagree.

Modesty:
Biblical Investigation,
Contemporary Application
By Louis Rushmore

The subject of modesty is definitively addressed in the New Testament. The New Testament is authoritative, which authority has not diminished with the passing of the centuries. What the Bible says regarding modesty is binding on Christians today. Further, what the New Testament teaches about modesty is truth, which if violated constitutes sin.

Modesty Defined
The English word modesty appears only once in the King James Version of the Bible (1 Timothy 2:9). The word modesty is from the Greek term kosmios. It means: orderly, well-arranged, decent, modest, harmonious arrangement, adornment. This Greek word also appears in the Septuagint (Ecclesiastes 12:9) and is translated "set in order" and is applied to Solomon's proverbs. Kosmios is derived from kosmos which means: order, regular disposition, ornament, decoration, embellishment, adorning and is used, among other ways, of the world on which we live (Matthew 13:35; Mark 16:15). Kosmos is used of modest attire and translated as "adorning" in 1 Peter 3:3.

Modesty can apply to one's manner of dress. The context of 1 Timothy 2:9-10 especially concerns gaudy dress. Also, the word for "apparel," in the same verses, is from the Greek katastole which means: letting down, and is used in the Septuagint in Isaiah 61:3 as "garment" for the Hebrew meaning "covering" or "wrapping."
Modesty is also biblically applied to one's demeanor or behavior. Kosmois appears in the qualifications of elders as "good behavior" (1 Timothy 3:2). The apostle Peter also taught modesty and addressed both what one may wear and an internal modesty (1 Peter 3:1-5); The Greek word for "adorning" in this context is kosmos.
The summary definition of modesty involves both one's manner of dress and inward qualities. The well ordering is not of dress and behavior only, but also of one's inner life which exhibits itself outwardly. Biblical modesty starts on the inside and works its way to the outside of a person.

Modesty In Context
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works" (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
The context of 1 Timothy 2:8-11, in which verses 9 and 10 address modesty, relates first to the public worship assembly. Especially in the public worship, women are cautioned to be careful lest their outward adornment pose a distraction both to themselves and others. "Shamefacedness" is the natural internal moral quality of blushing when sin is viewed as repulsive. "Sobriety" is soundness or soberness of mind, resulting in self-restraint. "Not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" refers to the gaudy show in which women braided their hair with strands of gold and silver which glistened in the sunlight and layered themselves with jewels (Isaiah 3:16-23). "But which becometh women professing godliness with good works" is contrasted with a mere outward display; the inner display is more precious before God and more representative of Christian womanhood. The prohibition is on the extreme and otherwise addresses the priority of adornment, extolling praise on inward over outward adornment.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands" (1 Peter 3:1-5).
From the first verse of this context, one's behavior rather than anything else, such as physical adornment, is commended. Verses one and two champion chaste or holy behavior as the means for a Christian wife to influence a husband whose wife's words are ineffective toward him. The Christian woman does not rely on lavish outward adornment to secure and keep the attention of a man; the references to adorning here are the same as those of 1 Timothy 2:9.
Comparatively speaking, the inward spiritual adornment is more precious to God and more effective for Christians than outward physical adorning. The apostle Peter teaches a disposition that was also practiced by godly women, such as Sarah (verses 5, 6). Peter did not prohibit wearing jewelry, cosmetics or clothes; he did prohibit extreme adornment or that adornment which overshadowed (displaced) a holy and referential behavior. Both Paul and Peter urge holiness that is to be exhibited, not hindered, outwardly.

Is Modesty A Variable?
There is a sense in which modesty is not variable. God's Word does not change. There are no special circumstances either then or now which mitigate or set aside this teaching. It will never be right for one's dress or degree of undress to overshadow and displace a Christian's holy behavior. God is concerned about Christian modesty (men and women) in and out of the worship assembly. Men and women should be modestly attired (inwardly and outwardly) always, especially in public.

There is a sense in which modesty is variable. Modesty in public worship is equivalent to what constitutes modesty in any public setting. However, what is biblically modest in public differs from what is biblically modest in the private setting of a married couple's bedroom. The modern day problem over modesty is not primarily the putting on apparel, but the taking off apparel or clothes. People, and unfortunately Christians too, have taken modesty confined to private settings and moved it to public display. This is sinful, for it discounts biblical modesty, numbs the senses of morality (shamefacedness), displaces holy behavior and influence, as well as promotes lust.

Immodesty Relates To Lust
The attire of a harlot has always aroused the base nature of men. The "attire of a harlot" is discernible and has a calculated result (Proverbs 7:10). Is it reasonable to suppose the dress or lack thereof which if worn by a harlot encourages men to lust will lead to less lust if worn by a Christian woman?
Watching a woman bathe has been known to arouse unlawful lusts in a man. King David saw Bathsheba washing, lusted after her, committed adultery with her, fathered a child, murdered her husband, and brought much misery upon himself and the nation (2 Samuel 11:2-5). Is it advisable for women, especially those professing godliness, to bathe in the presence of men, whether it be sunbathing or swimming?
Lust is a sin which especially men are cautioned in Scripture to avoid; is it any more praiseworthy for women to dress provocatively and excite lust? Lust is viewed by our Lord as adultery only not yet enacted (Matthew 5:28). Lust is a sin for which souls will be lost (Titus 2:12; Romans 6:23; James 1:14, 15; 1 Peter 2:11).

Application Today
It is improper and sinful for Christians to dress immodestly in the worship assembly. The greater context of 1 Timothy 2:9-10 addresses the public worship. Mini-skirts, sun-dresses, high-slit skirts and low-cut dresses have no place in public worship. Especially women should be careful to wear appropriate undergarments that contribute to modesty.
It is improper and sinful for Christians to dress immodestly in any public setting. Public immodesty displaces positive Christian influence and promotes lust, and is, therefore, sinful. Added to the former list, short-shorts, halter or tube tops, sheer blouses, swimsuits, tank-tops and other revealing or provocative clothing should not be worn publicly by Christians. The beach or a swimming pool does not lessen the need for Christians to dress modestly.
At home, the modesty of one's dress varies. What may be biblically modest in the inner chambers of one's home is biblically immodest in the public areas of the house while entertaining guests or out in the yard. Further, what may be modest between husband and wife can be immodest in front of the children. What may be modest family dress is immodest when exhibited to others (e.g., night-clothes).
Persistence in immodesty has serious ramifications. Immodesty in the face of biblical instruction demonstrates willful lack of subjection to God and one's father or husband. Immodesty is not a usual and orderly arrangement of clothing. Immodesty overshadows and displaces "shamefacedness and sobriety," "professing godliness" and "good works." Immodesty makes impossible the influence of another with the Gospel "without a word" (1 Peter 3:1-5). Finally, immodesty is sinful, leads to additional sins and corrupts others.

Conclusion
The topic of "modesty" is taught in the New Testament and is binding today. "Modesty" is an orderly arrangement of clothes that does not hide the inner or spiritual side of man. Immodesty leads to lust and other sins. Faithful and knowledgeable Christians do not wear some clothes in public: mini-shirts, sun-dresses, high-slit skirts, low-cut dresses, short-shorts, halter or tube tops, sheer blouses, swimsuits, tank-tops and other revealing clothing. Persistent immodesty is evidence of rebellion toward God, his Word, the church, fathers and husbands. Immodesty ruins the Christian influence and impairs the effectiveness of the Gospel.

http://www.bible-infonet.org/bin/feature_articles/living/modesty.htm

Faithful and knowledgeable Christians do not wear some clothes in public: mini-shirts, sun-dresses, high-slit skirts, low-cut dresses, short-shorts, halter or tube tops, sheer blouses, swimsuits, tank-tops and other revealing clothing.

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So women aren't supposed to wear the stuff he lists even if they aren't imodest?
tulc(just trying to understand)

I agree with the bulk of what he says but not all of it.

I'll continue to seek out modest bathing suits and go swimming at the public pool. I don't anticipate my witness being hampered by it.

if something or someones actions may cause a brother in Christ to stumble

if you love Christ one will think of others before thy self!