It's been a long time since I've made it to church on a weekly basis. I use to go all the time, or just about when I was younger. But things changed, we left a really good church due to a move and I ended up drifting away....
My depature from church was also the start of the fading relationship with Christ. For a while, when my grandmother was passing away... in our own home she was dieing, I started to hate everything and everyone. I felt angry with God.
I begged for him to take me too ... I screamed at him, like a child ... ashamed of myself now. But I really fell apart... death has always been around me ... and instead of turning to God I left.. and lost touch with him and the world for a while, being nothing more than numb...
Now, I'm going back to church again. The same warm feelings are returning and I feel Christ in my life once more. I'm happier now, but it's a battle. Getting up in the mornings because it seems like the devil is always whispering 'Why wake up and inconvience yourself? Sleep in, you know you want to...' it is such a hard battle somedays....
I pray that I'll become a better Christian and please the Lord once more. I really have missed him in my life...
My depature from church was also the start of the fading relationship with Christ. For a while, when my grandmother was passing away... in our own home she was dieing, I started to hate everything and everyone. I felt angry with God.
I begged for him to take me too ... I screamed at him, like a child ... ashamed of myself now. But I really fell apart... death has always been around me ... and instead of turning to God I left.. and lost touch with him and the world for a while, being nothing more than numb...
Now, I'm going back to church again. The same warm feelings are returning and I feel Christ in my life once more. I'm happier now, but it's a battle. Getting up in the mornings because it seems like the devil is always whispering 'Why wake up and inconvience yourself? Sleep in, you know you want to...' it is such a hard battle somedays....
I pray that I'll become a better Christian and please the Lord once more. I really have missed him in my life...
