Well I went to another Church

[Hopes]

I think I just got bad luck or maybe its because of my mental illness but I think I should stay away from Churches for a while. What happened was I went twice to this church and the first time I saw the pastor give a message on worship, which was good because I need help with that because I still have to fight these delusions of grandure that I have so it makes it hard to worship sometimes. I have decided to just read the psalms from the heart and hopefully it will be good enough.

Anyways the 2nd sunday that I went there was this other pastor there who gave a sermon about serving in the church. It seemed ok at first but then he said some stuff about westbouro church and also about these people who believe they are God and called them a bunch of nutcases and some people laughed. It hurt me because when I was manic I thought I was all kinds of things from the Bible and I guess he would think I was a nutcase too. I thought we should pray for the lost and the people who are confused I know If I had my choice I would have never gone manic and thought I was more than I am.

I mean even though I am as normal now as I can get I still have to fight off these delusions sometimes and I dont want to go to a place which would think of me as a nutcase. It hurt and I could not stop crying so I left with my husband and decided to just listen to through the bible and listen to NRB and bott radio since I can get them on my roku. I also listen to alot of other preachers, too many to list really but I have stopped watching regular tv because I felt it was pulling me away from God and I dont want that to happen again so if I can keep sane I plan on keeping keeping studying the Bible and trying to learn all I can even though these pills dull my mind and I have a hard time learning. I asked Jesus to help me learn so hopefully He will.

 

[timf]

Sadly it is not uncommon to find Christian preachers mocking other denominations or people. The Christian response to those who might be in error or deceived is to pray for them.

I think God will reward your faithfulness.

 

[brodav9@thicket]

I think I just got bad luck or maybe its because of my mental illness but I think I should stay away from Churches for a while. What happened was I went twice to this church and the first time I saw the pastor give a message on worship, which was good because I need help with that because I still have to fight these delusions of grandure that I have so it makes it hard to worship sometimes. I have decided to just read the psalms from the heart and hopefully it will be good enough.

Anyways the 2nd sunday that I went there was this other pastor there who gave a sermon about serving in the church. It seemed ok at first but then he said some stuff about westbouro church and also about these people who believe they are God and called them a bunch of nutcases and some people laughed. It hurt me because when I was manic I thought I was all kinds of things from the Bible and I guess he would think I was a nutcase too. I thought we should pray for the lost and the people who are confused I know If I had my choice I would have never gone manic and thought I was more than I am.

I mean even though I am as normal now as I can get I still have to fight off these delusions sometimes and I dont want to go to a place which would think of me as a nutcase. It hurt and I could not stop crying so I left with my husband and decided to just listen to through the bible and listen to NRB and bott radio since I can get them on my roku. I also listen to alot of other preachers, too many to list really but I have stopped watching regular tv because I felt it was pulling me away from God and I dont want that to happen again so if I can keep sane I plan on keeping keeping studying the Bible and trying to learn all I can even though these pills dull my mind and I have a hard time learning. I asked Jesus to help me learn so hopefully He will.

See you are wiser than you think, be in the word and pray, you got it. In short the Holy Spirit spoke to my wife and I, and gave me a vision. when the right time came my full color vision showing a spaceship confirmed that we should go to a church near cape Canaveral. awesome genuine love was there. They believed all the bible.

 

[brodav9@thicket]

a good book on deliverance is by Dr. Hobart E. Freeman called angels of light. I think it can be read in google books or internet archives for free. By the way Jesus and the book are safer.

 

[Hopes]

Thanks all I hope I didnt come off as holier than thou or something but I never thought I would be sitting in a church and listening to a preacher who was calling the lost and people who had obvious mental illnesses (the guy who thought he was God), nutcases. Also to have people laugh at that too, I knew it was not the place for me. If he would have only seen me during one of my manic episodes he would have said the same thing about me, maybe not to my face, but behind my back because I believe that is whats in his heart.

People dont realize that mania of bipolar 1 that people might think they are all sorts of famous figures. I thought I was Jesus's sister for a bit and I even thought I was the mystery harlot of babylon because I opened the bible up to revelation and it was on that page. For most people mania is temporary and they go back to a mostly normal state of mind although I will admit that I still have triggering music which makes me think I am somehow responsible for the weather even though I know in my head thats also not true. I still watch the weather though and its really hard to completely shake the feeling even though I know it cant be true.

Anyway I was so upset that my husband said we are not going to try anymore churches for now, maybe ever (I said that one). I think thats probally wise as I am not as strong mentally as other people and going through stuff like this can send me into a downward spiral and kick off another manic episode. I do study the Bible and I watch preachers on TV though. I just cant handle anymore people calling people like me a nutcase or accusing people with mental illness of having demons or whatever and I really dont want them finding out and talking behind my back. I mean normal people really should count their blessing that they dont have something like this to deal with. I would give nearly anything to not have this.