Living Alone? Survey Says ding ding ding

msjones21 · Jan 10, 2004

I wanted to ask this question because I have read conflicting opinions in my various Christian single living books. Is it appropriate for a single man or woman to live alone? I'm 23 (well, I will be officially in two hours ^_^

) and have lived completely independent since July, 2003. I love having my own apartment. My parents house has lots of people in it and it so living alone allows me the opportunity to have genuine quiet time with God. I love being able to curl up on my chaise lounge and crochet. I love to turn my WOW 2004 CD way up and dance around the apartment. I love being able to cook and clean for myself. Being on my own has truly helped me to cultivate godly wife skills. I've also overcome the loneliness issues. I can read and study my Bible in peace. At the end of the day when I turn off all the lights before going to bed and I take a final look around and see a clean apartment that I pay for, that I take pride in keeping tidy, I feel content. I have read in some books that living indepently is great preparation for marriage. Other books say that living away from your parents isn't Biblical, that you are supposed to go right from your parents to your spouse. I was wondering what your thoughts were.

mbuc · Jan 10, 2004

msjones21 said:
I have read in some books that living indepently is great preparation for marriage. Other books say that living away from your parents isn't Biblical, that you are supposed to go right from your parents to your spouse. I was wondering what your thoughts were.

I don't understand how it could be wrong to live alone while you're single. Do the sources that you mentioned elaborate on the subject? In previous generations, when people were married at a much younger age, I can somewhat understand that rationale, but cultural and economic norms are different now.

KeilCoppes · Jan 10, 2004

Many people may think it odd, but I lived with my parents until I was 28. I went to school locally and it was significantly more economical than living in the dorms 20 minutes away. Afterwards I got a local job. It was a great deal - for $100/month I got room, board, and laundry, as well as fellowship with my parents. As a result, I was debt-free at the end of college and my master's degree, later moving out with the 20K had saved as a nest egg.

Is it wrong to live alone single?

In the case of a man I can't see anything at all, providing you can properly support yourself - It's good experience for running a household.

There are some who would recommend that younger women not live alone, for protection purposes, and some are concerned that if she were to be married that she might have some difficulties changing over to submit to her husband.

After enough years have gone by, though, either you get married, or your parents go to be with the Lord. In the second case, yes, you're pretty likely to live alone single. :^)

-kc

ps - Happy Birthday!

looksgood · Jan 10, 2004

Well, the profits lived single out in the desert (john being the one I speak of). I don't see a problem with it. In fact I wish I was out on my own too. The chance to have quiet time with God is very nice.

Stanfi · Jan 10, 2004

I think living alone will teach you some very valuable lessons. How to clean up after yourself, Do your laundry, Manage money.

Okay let's say a guy lives at home. His mom always takes care of her little boy. Does his laundry, including picking it all up off his bedroom floor. Also doing the dishes, including find the ones he strings through house. This guy get's married, and he expects the wife to fill his moms role. Do you see a problem!?!?!? Uh, I do. And we wonder why their are divorces.

Okay a woman has always lived a home. She has a decent job so cash flow is not a problem. She loves to shop, and shop and shop. She get's married, completely unwared of things like mortage payment, eletric bill, phone bill, trash bill. The term "budegeting" is a foreign word. Do you see any marital arguements here!?!?

KeilCoppes · Jan 10, 2004

Ouch! I should also add that even though I lived at home for a long time, I also made it a point to learn domestic skills (when I was a child I looked at the little girls on either side and realized I'd likely be single for a _long_ time.) . I have indeed survived for the past seven years without trauma or food poisoning and can indeed fold laundry!

-kc

joyinchrist · Jan 10, 2004

I dont see anything wrong with it... why would it be? what are people basing it on that you shouldnt?
Personally I live at home with my mom... I help out with bills and stuff, but it isnt near as expensive as having my own place, and this way I can pay down some bills...

p.s. Happy Birthday Ms Jones!

ps34_18 · Jan 11, 2004

I have never heard that singles shouldn't live alone. It strikes me as being rather ridiculous to expect a single person to live their whole lives with their parents. I mean, if they want to, and can figure out a good arrangement with their parents, more power to them, but no one should be dictating right or wrong in this situation. Look at the apostle Paul...he was single, and traveled all over, and I don't think he lived with his parents the whole time. I'm only 20, and I've been living away from home for 2 1/2 years now...granted, I'm at school, but I have always assumed that once I graduate I won't be going back home to live. For one thing, there aren't any jobs available back home, and I certainly do not plan on living off of my parents until I'm no longer single. For another thing, my parents don't even want me to live with them for the rest of my life...and I don't blame them.

mina · Jan 11, 2004

Why on earth would it be wrong? Sorry but that is just about the stupidest thing i've ever heard. There are single missionaries all over the world that live in their own apartments, away from parents and friends, but yet they still manage to be in the will of God. I think it's important to stay connected to people but you can live in your own space and still do that. People who tell others that it's wrong probably got married at 17 and are scared of anything that's different from their own experiences. Good grief, there are more important things to be worried about than if living on your own makes someone a good Christian or not, because I don't see where one has to do with the other. If anything living on your own is good for a person , because it teaches you to be responsible and to take care of yourself, to balance a budget, and to keep things clean. And if you can't take care of yourself, then I'd see where that would make any relationship not as good as it could be.

Super Gnat · Jan 11, 2004

Yes, of course.

23100.00%

Man, how often do we get a unanimous poll?

jons911 · Jan 12, 2004

msjones21 -

Happy Birthday!

I agree with everyone who has posted and voted... I certainly don't think it's wrong for Christian singles to live alone.

Can I ask what resources you've read to hear this point of view? I am very curious to learn their rationale.

Jon

wonder111 · Jan 12, 2004

i don't know how it's possible, especially with the majority of people getting married much later now. You would be living with mom and dad for way too long I think. Living on my own when I was going to school and now is the best thing ever. It also gave me alot of quiet time alone with God to understand many things.

stray bullet · Jan 12, 2004

This assumes:
-All Christians should get married
-All Christians are lucky enough to get married

sunshine · Jan 12, 2004

I personally cannot wait to move out and live alone. I'm a very independent person and enjoy taking care of things myself! I believe that everyone should live alone, just so they can learn how to completely rely on themselves (cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills, etc)

Living Alone? Survey Says *ding ding ding*

Is living alone okay for a Christian single?

No, never.

Yes, of course.

Only if you're going away to college.

Undecided.

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Living Alone? Survey Says ding ding ding