Dating

Originally posted by Germwise
Hey guys,

I am 17 years old and I am about to start a relationship with someone. I would like it to be a christian relationship and have determined to stay abstinent till marriage.

However, I would like to know what the lines are to stay pure. What constitutes as improper behavior? does kissing? if so which kind of kissing?

Pls I need some guidance.

THanks for your time

Lil' ol' me

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Keep it a public relationship, then you wont be doing things you shouldn't do.

Welcome dude

Welcome aboard Germwise, I would say kissing is ok. I would draw the line there. I think kissing is natural and is essential for a relationship to blossom. But thats it! I'm not going to advocate going any further, it is just not needed to form a relationship.

Besides abstaining will give you both something wonderful to look forward to on the honeymoon, and it's the Christian thing to do!

Hi Germwise,

I am glad for you that you want to have a Christian relationship with your girlfriend. You are a wise man.

I am with MOG and badfish.
Kissing only, and only lite kissing. Be with other people as much as possible. No long walks or drives alone.

Is she a Christian? Have you told her your wishes to keep your relationship a Chirstian relationship? Do you attend church. Attend a lot of church activities.

And welcome.

she is christian and she does want to stay pure as well. We both attend church 2 times a week, I am a member of the praise and worship band and we both attend many church activities.

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Well then Germwise, you know the RIGHT thing to do

Excellent. Sounds like the beginning of a long relationship.

Originally posted by Germwise
she is christian and she does want to stay pure as well.
We both attend church 2 times a week, I am a member of the praise and worship band and we both attend many church activities.

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I pray that you continue to be pure and have God as the center of your relationship.

Refrain from too much physical contact ok?

God bless bro and welcome!!!!

Hey there Germwise... WELCOME TO CHRISTIAN FORUMS!!

I totally agree with M.O.G., Solo, and Badfish.

Also WELCOME GERMWISE!!!!

>>I am 17 years old and I am about to start a relationship with someone. I would like it to be a christian relationship and have determined to stay abstinent till marriage.

Yeah!!!!

You know, the best way I have found to remain pure is to be part of a group that believes the same way, and to remind yourself how disappointed they will be if you mess up.

I knew this guy who was 35 years old and still a virgin . But one day, he decided to date somone who didn't think purity was important, infact, she thought it was silly to control yourself, so after dating her a while he gave in and gave her his virginity. She didn't appreciate it at all and broke up with him a few days later, cruelly. When I heard what had happened, I was really sick for him. He had something so valuable that very few 35 year old men have, and he gave it to someone who didn't care. He had cast his pearls before a swine, so to speak. When I asked him why, he said that being presented with so much temptation, he just couldn't resist. He had lost touch with what was ultimately important because she had gotten him to drop away from church and the group of friends who encouraged and praised his virginity.

So find a group of Christian friends and double date with them. Encourage and praise each other's virginity and be there to counteract the pull of temptation for each other.

actually...
kissing is more intimate than sex...
but kissing also promotes good health...
it send a seignal to the brain whichj releases an enzyme that promots good health

kissing is more intimate than sex...

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I did not know that...What do you mean? Will you explain please?



I think you've gotten some good advice though, germwise. I don't know what else to add, except to encourage you to keep doing the right thing.

I know this is going to sound a little radical but…. there is this great book called “ I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. It is a very interesting, thought provoking view of the whole ‘dating’ concept. The main idea is that being a Christian should not mean that we take the worldview of dating and conform it, but maybe a totally different approach should be taken. The concept is very pure and obtainable.

This is an excerpt from the web site.

Most people have an opinion about "that book about not dating." Some love it, others despise it. Christianity Today called it "the book that ignited the dating debate." Whether you think you agree or disagree, do yourself a favor and at least read it. Don't assume you know what it says. Many readers who start out critics of I Kissed Dating Goodbye are surprised to learn that the core message of the book isn't about "dating" but living your life for God.

So pick up a copy. You might not say "goodbye" to dating, but chances are your perspective will be challenged and your approach to romance made more thoughtful and God-centered .

You can read this statement and get other links and info about the book at http://www.joshharris.com/ikdg/ikdgmain.htm

May God bless you in your search for His way.

ok i dont have the patience to read what all the otha people said but heres what i think

kissing and making out are the farthest you should go

theres nothing wrong with those two just dont go anyfarther

People read too many books now days...
they go astray from the Bible...
read the Bible--
it willtell ya all ya need to know--
and not someones s.w.a.g.

There is nothing wrong with reading books or taking in what others have to say, if so then they might as well not even come here (or go to church, or counsel, etc)! Just make sure it’s founded upon the Word and does not contradict God, if so then a well-worded, applicable, and practical message can be just as edifying.

I will also second the book by Josh Harris. There are actually TWO books by him, the first is “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” and the second is “Boy Meets Girl”. Both focus on having a healthy, God-centered relationship by means of “courting” as opposed to the clichéd “dating”. Get ready to meet her parents.

I think there is something good to be had from what everyone else has said (solid advice in general), but I would like to emphasize something I believe to be critical not only to this matter, but others as well:

There is an underlying issue of personal conviction. For whatever reasons, there are a lot of issues God has not made black and white. I for one believe it leaves an avenue for building a stronger “personal” relationship and it reemphasized the uniqueness of us all yet maintaining the identity that we are made in His image.

As a Christian, your main concern is your relationship with God. God is first and foremost and should receive your all. That is the bottom line. Everything you do should be crosschecked with the effects it would have between you and the Lord. Will it edify you (and anyone else that may be affected) or will it weaken the relationship? What messages can you send by what you do? These are the questions you should ask yourself. With that in mind, take a similar approach when it comes to the whole “dating” thing. What are your focuses and what goals or outcome do you desire? You’ve said that you want it to be a “Christian relationship” and that’s good – you have a focus. Now analyze what things can go wrong and what walls could arise between YOU and GOD or anyone else and GOD. Remember, this “relationship” is three-way: you, GOD, and her.

There are certain limits that will tell you what you want and what your goals are no matter what you say with your tongue – because the heart never lies. If you become saturated in certain things and lose sight of God and a Bible-founded dogma you know you need to turn to a different path, reorganize your thoughts, pray and get yourself in-line with where you must be.

If you can be happy, convicted that God is pleased and that you’re growing in your faith, you know you are straight.

That is all.

Originally posted by Germwise
However, I would like to know what the lines are to stay pure. What constitutes as improper behavior? does kissing? if so which kind of kissing?

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I know lots of women from the Philippines who the only man they have ever kissed is their husband. "Dating" is just not to much of a custom there. The interesting thing is that they basicly do not have divorce. Even the Filipino women who are married to Americans only have a 15% divorce rate. Even then, the 15% are men who go over there and marry one of the bar girls and can not settle down to one women.