- Sep 20, 2018
- 944
- 347
- 54
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
Please before I start I like to ask to refrain from negativity, as it is sensitive topic. I will not engage with any of negative comments or attempt to "psychology analyse". I am not inviting that.
I wonder what the best option would be seen from a godly perspective.
While studying we usually have side jobs. As such with me. One day first day found out the "team leader" (runs the whole house with 2nd assistant leader) (care home) was a big time abuser. I did read reviews before, but they cleaned it so was just one negative. But it was disturbing enough telling you about long term bullying, shouting and screaming to colleges, for full storm. Owner allows it. Five managers left in five months. High turnover. Much suffering. And I`m there. First day, team leader and 2nd leader acted like we were old friends. Very boundary crossing that. When team leader manager heard I was doing psychology she asked me if I could see something with her. I said that `s not how it works trying to avoid. I told her some general stuff, while she tempted me into sin and my past in new age and the occult. Which I then had to repent for. (I was like ,wow, is this an attempt from the enemy must be then what if it is more here like entities) I say that because it was that sudden out of the blue, and very pushy.
I said things about what I picked up on her, and I was right. (like I said I had to repent but such things are a fine line as you get given from God and I do have discernment of spirits and prophetic gifts so.. hard) She was taken aback. She start to tell me how she blows up full storm they get it all(as I understood it criticism, nasty things, weakness and errors real or made up especially petty things or imaginary)her colleges, she said everyone gets it, she does not care.
I tried to help her. I talked to her about it, and I made suggestions which she had not heard before I even told her how to pace herself and proceed. To manage. She told me it came from her past and how she grew up and was taught. I expressed sympathy and tried to help. She did not want to change. She said she could not and did not want to control
her emotions, and that she was VERY moody. I felt for her. I really did .
The other leader shut down a bit towards me when I was seeing through the other. She either did not stand up or said anything how it was wrong treating others like that. Which I noted.
A little backstory. I grew up with npd narcissist mother and brothers and a lot of bullying for years, something I have had to go to therapy for and I had good help at the time. Still you can feel things more even though, like a healed wound but if someone deliberately tramp on it. You get the idea.
As such, I could be retraumatised in an environment like this, and these things generally create a lot of stress physically and mentally. You will always be more vulnerable to stress because of it. When you have health conditions, you risk over time health problems, such as high blood pressure. And I have diabetes type 2.
Plus I am generally very sensitive to stress. Most likely, because of the past.
I take good care of myself and am aware.
Also as an ambi vert I process stress differently. Need more time, and recharge runs out faster. I also suffer cronic fatigue syndrome(if you don`t know look up cfs/me) so stress gets me there too. More health issues.
(it is a neurological disease)
So stay there could most likely risk my health. Plus retraumatise me. As I still get very emotional and sad when it is.
Also due to my nature. I`m a sensitive gentle soul.
Yes one can potentially be retraumatised, open up old wounds, even if you are so to speak healed.
You would then freeze, fawn, fight or flight, typical responses in danger. You would succumb or fight. Old ways of responding might surface. Old trauma. And the abuser would use and abuse it. You might have to deal with everything again. The risk is higher the longer you stay in such an environment. Even the strongest as they say.
She already acted harshly on the phone with me previously without need to.
I noted the lack of professionalism.
Financially it is a drain. Trains are not cheap in Uk.
Bus takes like 1,5 hrs.
The way they placed the rota and everything.
So she abuses and misuse everything and does not intend to stop and the owner is accepting it and people leaving and all that. It doesn`t take much to get the issues.
I sit here wondering what to do and how to deal. I have been offered a new job somewhere else, where I would actually only take care of ONE client, nights(the other nights even though they placed me days too)
I could even get shifts where you sleep, available of course, but still.
In ONE location.
Care home like 20 -40 people.
Yes very little stress.
Not started yet though, now it is time for references and paperwork(all good there)
I wanted to do 2 jobs combine. Financial.
Pay the same.
I really liked the care home a lot, and the rest of the people.
But maybe I am being decieved by the enemy. She`s not gonna change. I did ask God to give me another job if this was not good for me I told him everything.
Should I stay or should I go. the other job will start once references and paperwork finish. And I won`t get paid from the first anyway until end of october and by then I would most likely start the other.
I wonder what the best option would be seen from a godly perspective.
While studying we usually have side jobs. As such with me. One day first day found out the "team leader" (runs the whole house with 2nd assistant leader) (care home) was a big time abuser. I did read reviews before, but they cleaned it so was just one negative. But it was disturbing enough telling you about long term bullying, shouting and screaming to colleges, for full storm. Owner allows it. Five managers left in five months. High turnover. Much suffering. And I`m there. First day, team leader and 2nd leader acted like we were old friends. Very boundary crossing that. When team leader manager heard I was doing psychology she asked me if I could see something with her. I said that `s not how it works trying to avoid. I told her some general stuff, while she tempted me into sin and my past in new age and the occult. Which I then had to repent for. (I was like ,wow, is this an attempt from the enemy must be then what if it is more here like entities) I say that because it was that sudden out of the blue, and very pushy.
I said things about what I picked up on her, and I was right. (like I said I had to repent but such things are a fine line as you get given from God and I do have discernment of spirits and prophetic gifts so.. hard) She was taken aback. She start to tell me how she blows up full storm they get it all(as I understood it criticism, nasty things, weakness and errors real or made up especially petty things or imaginary)her colleges, she said everyone gets it, she does not care.
I tried to help her. I talked to her about it, and I made suggestions which she had not heard before I even told her how to pace herself and proceed. To manage. She told me it came from her past and how she grew up and was taught. I expressed sympathy and tried to help. She did not want to change. She said she could not and did not want to control
her emotions, and that she was VERY moody. I felt for her. I really did .
The other leader shut down a bit towards me when I was seeing through the other. She either did not stand up or said anything how it was wrong treating others like that. Which I noted.
A little backstory. I grew up with npd narcissist mother and brothers and a lot of bullying for years, something I have had to go to therapy for and I had good help at the time. Still you can feel things more even though, like a healed wound but if someone deliberately tramp on it. You get the idea.
As such, I could be retraumatised in an environment like this, and these things generally create a lot of stress physically and mentally. You will always be more vulnerable to stress because of it. When you have health conditions, you risk over time health problems, such as high blood pressure. And I have diabetes type 2.
Plus I am generally very sensitive to stress. Most likely, because of the past.
I take good care of myself and am aware.
Also as an ambi vert I process stress differently. Need more time, and recharge runs out faster. I also suffer cronic fatigue syndrome(if you don`t know look up cfs/me) so stress gets me there too. More health issues.
(it is a neurological disease)
So stay there could most likely risk my health. Plus retraumatise me. As I still get very emotional and sad when it is.
Also due to my nature. I`m a sensitive gentle soul.
Yes one can potentially be retraumatised, open up old wounds, even if you are so to speak healed.
You would then freeze, fawn, fight or flight, typical responses in danger. You would succumb or fight. Old ways of responding might surface. Old trauma. And the abuser would use and abuse it. You might have to deal with everything again. The risk is higher the longer you stay in such an environment. Even the strongest as they say.
She already acted harshly on the phone with me previously without need to.
I noted the lack of professionalism.
Financially it is a drain. Trains are not cheap in Uk.
Bus takes like 1,5 hrs.
The way they placed the rota and everything.
So she abuses and misuse everything and does not intend to stop and the owner is accepting it and people leaving and all that. It doesn`t take much to get the issues.
I sit here wondering what to do and how to deal. I have been offered a new job somewhere else, where I would actually only take care of ONE client, nights(the other nights even though they placed me days too)
I could even get shifts where you sleep, available of course, but still.
In ONE location.
Care home like 20 -40 people.
Yes very little stress.
Not started yet though, now it is time for references and paperwork(all good there)
I wanted to do 2 jobs combine. Financial.
Pay the same.
I really liked the care home a lot, and the rest of the people.
But maybe I am being decieved by the enemy. She`s not gonna change. I did ask God to give me another job if this was not good for me I told him everything.
Should I stay or should I go. the other job will start once references and paperwork finish. And I won`t get paid from the first anyway until end of october and by then I would most likely start the other.
