My dad has problems again

[Lady Bug]

All he needs to do is look up what happened to your father. These things happen. He (brother) sounds like a complete drama addict.

This is the result of people who do not believe that this world is fallen from Adam and Eve. They deny that actual human suffering can exist without some sort of grand conspiracy.

 

[Michie]

This is the result of people who do not believe that this world is fallen from Adam and Eve. They deny that actual human suffering can exist without some sort of grand conspiracy.

I have a real issue with people constantly digging for drama in every situation. I get the uncontrollable urge to throttle them.

 

[Lady Bug]

I have a real issue with people constantly digging for drama in every situation. I get the uncontrollable urge to throttle them.

I want to throttle the phone-callers too. Seriously. I'm about to yell (not at you).

IT'S NO WONDER THAT, WHEN SOME PEOPLE DIE OR FALL ILL, THAT PEOPLE SAY "THE FAMILY IS NOT ACCEPTING PHONE CALLS AT THIS TIME." OF COURSE NOW I TOTALLY GET IT! GOSH DARN IT, PEOPLE NEED TO STOP CALLING ME! THE ONLY PEOPLE I CAN ACCEPT (AND EVEN THAT IS ANNOYING) ARE MY BROTHER (PUKE, BUT OH WELL), THE DOCTORS, NURSES, A PRIEST, AND MAYBE A COUPLE LADIES FROM CHURCH. EVERYONE ELSE NEEDS TO GO STRAIGHT TO YOU-KNOW-WHERE. DAMIT! I AM NOT ACCEPTING MOST PHONE CALLS AND MOST VISITORS TO MY HOME UNLESS DIRECTLY RELATED TO THE SITUATION!

 

[chevyontheriver]

Here is an example of my brother.

It turns out that my dad may not necessarily be allergic to morphine. According to the medical records, the seizure happened as my dad was weaning off the anesthesia. My brother doesn't believe that my dad actually had a seizure and that the hospital is making it up. I had told the doctors "no narcotics" because he had a problem with codeine 30 years back. Unfortunately, just because he's allergic to codeine (there were other meds listed under Allergies) doesn't mean per se that he's allergic to such-and-such. But my brother will try to tell me that the hospital is trying to manipulate me into believing such-and-such. Even if they ARE, I just don't have the proof as to what is causing my dad's debilitating condition right now aside from what is stated in the records. My brother acts like I have too much faith in the hospital staff. That's not it. They could be azzholes for all I know, but how am I supposed to prove anything? I don't know jack about some of the meds my dad is being temporarily given right now. My brother thinks I'm being too meek and not fighting them enough. I don't know what's wrong with being meek and not combative. It doesn't mean I'm gullible, it's that I don't want to cause a fuss when I don't know all I need to know. He's a mental case.

My wife reacts badly to opioids. It’s not all that uncommon. Also not uncommon are pretentious would be medical experts presuming the doctors are out to get you.

 

[Lady Bug]

My wife reacts badly to opioids. It’s not all that uncommon. Also not uncommon are pretentious would be medical experts presuming the doctors are out to get you.

I think my dad is on synthetic opioids now, not real ones. The medical records do indicate some opioids that my dad should not be taking.

 

[mourningdove~]

That's great to hear you say that. Do you have any example to remind me, though?

The quantity of one’s faith cannot be measured. However much we have, will and must be tested in this life. For how can we know if we have faith at all, if it is not?

God knows how much faith we have, at any given moment, but we need to see it for ourselves, too. It’s easy to say “I have faith”, but only when it is tested do we see for ourselves “how much”.

You have been going thru a great trial, since your conversion to Christ. I don’t believe I’m exaggerating when I say that. Because of your birth family heritage, the challenges you’ve faced in your life have been great. And yet, you’ve stood your ground. You’ve clung to your decision to become a Christian, despite the spiritual opposition you face daily.

And when put in the position to become caregiver to the one who makes your faith walk so challenging, you accepted the task while continuing in your faith. Persevering in your faith you have done and are doing ... appearing to do the best that you can do, with each challenge. You’ve kept the faith and not given up hope.

Because you share parts of your life here, your growth in faith throughout this time of trial has been obvious to me. And as you continue to trust in God, and not lose hope, so will He continue to grow you in greater faith in Him.

 

[Lady Bug]

I'm going through a problem again with my brother. I can't throw him out of the picture because he is offering to share the weight of the phone calls (at least for now), but something is bothering the heck out of me.

There's a relative who has been calling constantly for a few days. She probably won't be the last one to do it. I have been up to my eyeballs in phone calls and that does not seem to be abating anytime soon. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I completely, completely get the "not accepting phone calls at this time" mantra. However, my brother (gosh darn it) is telling me that his relatives have a right to know what is going on. The problem is, I am terrified that this will open up a can of worms and some relative will try to come to the house and stay. Heck, I don't even want them stepping in the house for five minutes. I don't care how exaggerated my fear is. I have a right to this fear. I don't want Muslims staying around in my house. I don't know if it makes me look like a bigot. I have no obligation (do I?) to let them in the house but my brother simply tells me to tell them "Just tell them the house is not in order." I already had problems with a relative who wanted to come on Christmas Day 2023 and Good Friday of this year (I sense a pattern, huh?). But if news about my dad were to circulate among them, I'd feel like the "moth to a flame" thing.

While I kind of feel sorry for any relative that may want to know about him, I'm beyond saturated with other calls and errands related to this. At the same time, feeling sorry for someone (I don't know if I actually do) and trying to be nice in order to not look bad can have disastrous consequences. As I said, I finally get the phrase "not accepting phone calls." (Well, other than the most crucial ones from the hospital, and some other limited exceptions). It is so, so applicable right now.

There are more updates about my dad but I'm already behind schedule and I'll see if I can come back later.

 

[Lady Bug]

The quantity of one’s faith cannot be measured. However much we have, will and must be tested in this life. For how can we know if we have faith at all, if it is not?

God knows how much faith we have, at any given moment, but we need to see it for ourselves, too. It’s easy to say “I have faith”, but only when it is tested do we see for ourselves “how much”.

You have been going thru a great trial, since your conversion to Christ. I don’t believe I’m exaggerating when I say that. Because of your birth family heritage, the challenges you’ve faced in your life have been great. And yet, you’ve stood your ground. You’ve clung to your decision to become a Christian, despite the spiritual opposition you face daily.

And when put in the position to become caregiver to the one who makes your faith walk so challenging, you accepted the task while continuing in your faith. Persevering in your faith you have done and are doing ... appearing to do the best that you can do, with each challenge. You’ve kept the faith and not given up hope.

Because you share parts of your life here, your growth in faith throughout this time of trial has been obvious to me. And as you continue to trust in God, and not lose hope, so will He continue to grow you in greater faith in Him.

I had been advised to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Ok before I go further, what I will say might be a disappointment - I don't really feel satisfaction from it very much, EXCEPT the Opening and Closing Prayer. I think that the first or second day after I prayed it, I felt SLIGHTLY (I said slightly, I have a little way to go here) less panicky and anxious, even though the urge to cry keeps coming a few times a day (which is very painful, still). I wonder if the Closing Prayer has anything to do with it, or if it's just a coincidence.

I don't know if it's comic relief when I say this but a few times a day my head goes "Adam and Eve, what the heck did you do to cause the world to become the way it is today? You must have done a number, because the world has gone to hell in a handbasket."

 

[mourningdove~]

I had been advised to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Ok before I go further, what I will say might be a disappointment - I don't really feel satisfaction from it very much, EXCEPT the Opening and Closing Prayer. I think that the first or second day after I prayed it, I felt SLIGHTLY (I said slightly, I have a little way to go here) less panicky and anxious, even though the urge to cry keeps coming a few times a day (which is very painful, still). I wonder if the Closing Prayer has anything to do with it, or if it's just a coincidence.

I don't know if it's comic relief when I say this but a few times a day my head goes "Adam and Eve, what the heck did you do to cause the world to become the way it is today? You must have done a number, because the world has gone to hell in a handbasket."

I will be honest with you ... I don't 'connect' with the Divine Mercy Chaplet.
I've tried to get into it, but just don't. So I don't pray it.

I guess it's just not the kind of prayer for me, as I do know others do connect with it and are blessed.

... But, depending on who has told you to pray it? Like maybe your priest? Then I guess you'd better do it. lol

p.s. Yep, Adam and Eve really made a mess of things!
Fortunately, God had a plan to save us from all of this ... and He will, one day.

 

[Michie]

I will be honest with you ... I don't 'connect' with the Divine Mercy Chaplet.
I've tried to get into it, but just don't. So I don't pray it.

I guess it's just not the kind of prayer for me, as I do know others do connect with it and are blessed.

... But, depending on who has told you to pray it? Like maybe your priest? Then I guess you'd better do it. lol

p.s. Yep, Adam and Eve really made a mess of things!
Fortunately, God had a plan to save us from all of this ... and He will, one day.

Reading St. Faustina’s Diary got me attracted to it along with the promises it carries. If I had not read it I might feel the same way.

I posted the whole diary here if anyone is interested.

St. Faustina's Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul: Reading/Discussion Group

Anyone that is interested in going through St. Faustina's diary please check in. After that we can work out how to attempt it. By entry, etc. It might be a productive & fruitful way to spend your PC time during Lent. It's a very long read but we can take our time & discuss whatever anyone...

www.christianforums.com

 

[Lady Bug]

But, depending on who has told you to pray it? Like maybe your priest? Then I guess you'd better do it. lol

He suggested it but didn't mandate it. I thought I was the only one struggling with being able to get into it.

Reading St. Faustina’s Diary got me attracted to it along with the promises it carries. If I had not read it I might feel the same way.

Uncovering the reason why this Chaplet exists can be a motivator. I was trying to do it as a Novena but I feel like it takes my time away from the Rosary.

 

[Michie]

He suggested it but didn't mandate it. I thought I was the only one struggling with being able to get into it.

Uncovering the reason why this Chaplet exists can be a motivator. I was trying to do it as a Novena but I feel like it takes my time away from the Rosary.

I have a hard time with saying the rosary. Lol

 

[chevyontheriver]

I had been advised to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Ok before I go further, what I will say might be a disappointment - I don't really feel satisfaction from it very much, EXCEPT the Opening and Closing Prayer. I think that the first or second day after I prayed it, I felt SLIGHTLY (I said slightly, I have a little way to go here) less panicky and anxious, even though the urge to cry keeps coming a few times a day (which is very painful, still). I wonder if the Closing Prayer has anything to do with it, or if it's just a coincidence.

You could do the parts that have meaning to you and skip the rest. Private devotions are supposed to assist you. Do the parts that work for you. Skip the rest.

I don't know if it's comic relief when I say this but a few times a day my head goes "Adam and Eve, what the heck did you do to cause the world to become the way it is today? You must have done a number, because the world has gone to hell in a handbasket."

I think that IS comic relief. They DID do a number on us. But then we do our own sins too. Ask the saints to pray for you, all of those less than perfect people now perfected, most of whom also did a number on somebody and are working their reparations on us many times over. We can't get through this alone. It is Christ who gets us through. His marvelous comrade can assist here and there.

 

[Lady Bug]

I'm going through a problem again with my brother. I can't throw him out of the picture because he is offering to share the weight of the phone calls (at least for now), but something is bothering the heck out of me.

There's a relative who has been calling constantly for a few days. She probably won't be the last one to do it. I have been up to my eyeballs in phone calls and that does not seem to be abating anytime soon. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I completely, completely get the "not accepting phone calls at this time" mantra. However, my brother (gosh darn it) is telling me that his relatives have a right to know what is going on. The problem is, I am terrified that this will open up a can of worms and some relative will try to come to the house and stay. Heck, I don't even want them stepping in the house for five minutes. I don't care how exaggerated my fear is. I have a right to this fear. I don't want Muslims staying around in my house. I don't know if it makes me look like a bigot. I have no obligation (do I?) to let them in the house but my brother simply tells me to tell them "Just tell them the house is not in order." I already had problems with a relative who wanted to come on Christmas Day 2023 and Good Friday of this year (I sense a pattern, huh?). But if news about my dad were to circulate among them, I'd feel like the "moth to a flame" thing.

While I kind of feel sorry for any relative that may want to know about him, I'm beyond saturated with other calls and errands related to this. At the same time, feeling sorry for someone (I don't know if I actually do) and trying to be nice in order to not look bad can have disastrous consequences. As I said, I finally get the phrase "not accepting phone calls." (Well, other than the most crucial ones from the hospital, and some other limited exceptions). It is so, so applicable right now.

There are more updates about my dad but I'm already behind schedule and I'll see if I can come back later.

Can someone please give insight on the relatives issue? I feel that if I go against my better judgment and talk to them more, it will open a bunch of worms. My brother refuses to believe that they shouldn't know what's going on right now but it would burden me greatly. Do I have the right to refuse them into my house? That seems like a rhetorical question.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Can someone please give insight on the relatives issue? I feel that if I go against my better judgment and talk to them more, it will open a bunch of worms. My brother refuses to believe that they shouldn't know what's going on right now but it would burden me greatly.

You can be busy. He can notify relatives. He shouldn't be guilting you to have to do it.

Do I have the right to refuse them into my house? That seems like a rhetorical question.

I think so. You should figure a way for relatives to pay their last respects (quickly) when the time comes. Not to stay for hours or days but for a few minutes each.

Do you think your father might be softening towards Jesus? It could happen.

 

[Lady Bug]

You can be busy. He can notify relatives. He shouldn't be guilting you to have to do it.

I think so. You should figure a way for relatives to pay their last respects (quickly) when the time comes. Not to stay for hours or days but for a few minutes each.

Do you think your father might be softening towards Jesus? It could happen.

I don't see evidence of my dad softening towards Jesus yet. My brother is taking on the talking to relatives but I wasn't referring to the event of passing away. I was just referring to the current situation.

 

[Lady Bug]

The basic thing is, I just don't want to be alone with any relatives if they start talking about religion. If I mention that I don't want to talk about religion to them, it will arouse suspicion. I'm just not comfortable. Doesn't anyone get it?

 

[Michie]

The basic thing is, I just don't want to be alone with any relatives if they start talking about religion. If I mention that I don't want to talk about religion to them, it will arouse suspicion. I'm just not comfortable. Doesn't anyone get it?

I get it but I’m not sure what the proper way to handle it would be given I do not know them personally. I’m sure there are variables in these types of situations.

 

[Susie~Q]

I'm going through a problem again with my brother. I can't throw him out of the picture because he is offering to share the weight of the phone calls (at least for now), but something is bothering the heck out of me.
Well, at least he is offering to help with the calls, that should take some weight off of your shoulders.
There's a relative who has been calling constantly for a few days. She probably won't be the last one to do it. I have been up to my eyeballs in phone calls and that does not seem to be abating anytime soon. As I mentioned in a previous comment, I completely, completely get the "not accepting phone calls at this time" mantra. However, my brother (gosh darn it) is telling me that his relatives have a right to know what is going on. The problem is, I am terrified that this will open up a can of worms and some relative will try to come to the house and stay. Heck, I don't even want them stepping in the house for five minutes. I don't care how exaggerated my fear is. I have a right to this fear. I don't want Muslims staying around in my house. I don't know if it makes me look like a bigot. I have no obligation (do I?) to let them in the house but my brother simply tells me to tell them "Just tell them the house is not in order." I already had problems with a relative who wanted to come on Christmas Day 2023 and Good Friday of this year (I sense a pattern, huh?). But if news about my dad were to circulate among them, I'd feel like the "moth to a flame" thing.
Well, in a way, your brother is right, I hate to say that, but he is. They are your dad's relatives so it is the right thing to do to let them know what is occurring. I know you don't want them in your home, but, when a relative is sick or dying, the other family members usually do come. You can say that the house is not in order, that is fine, but you will eventually have to give in. Now, I know you will get angry at my remark, but fair is fair and I prayed about what to say. I know they don't approve of your being Christian, but hey, maybe the Lord is allowing this to see how strong your faith is. Sadly, yes, you do have an obligation to let them in, if was in your name only, then it would be different, but it is in your dad's name, so, yes, the Christian thing to do during his illness is to let them in. I would not like it either, but sadly, it is probably wrong not to do so. Maybe your brother would let them stay with him? I know he probably won't but maybe he would. I am sorry if I am upsetting you, but I have to answer the way the Lord is leading me.
While I kind of feel sorry for any relative that may want to know about him, I'm beyond saturated with other calls and errands related to this. At the same time, feeling sorry for someone (I don't know if I actually do) and trying to be nice in order to not look bad can have disastrous consequences. As I said, I finally get the phrase "not accepting phone calls." (Well, other than the most crucial ones from the hospital, and some other limited exceptions). It is so, so applicable right now.
Phone calls can get tiring, but, when the person has a large family, it will happen. I guess you can ignore them, but eventually, you will have to answer. I am so sorry that you are going through all this. I truly am.

 

[Lady Bug]

I haven't talked yet about how my dad is doing because it's feeling more difficult for me to handle. He had a seizure a week ago (I think I said this) but he still has not recovered the ability to swallow and it's really concerning me. He is also constantly expressing his desire to die and remains determinedly defiant in resisting the therapists that come in. I don't know how I'm going to sleep. My brother (I have mixed feelings about him, he does assure me that he won't let me be destitute but I just don't know) is pushing me to get up earlier and he is kind of right because it facilitates the receipt of phone calls but I'm not doing a good enough job of it (the getting up).