How can I meet a wife if I can't look or check a woman out without it become adultery in my heart?

[Holy Universe]

I'm single and would like to meet a wife. I am seeking to put the Kingdom First and seek His righteousness, concern myself with bible study, meditation prayer, looking for ways to serve while also perhaps evangelism to people, including woman, hoping I can already meet a Christian woman this way. I can perhaps use my search for a wife to evangelize, which is also what I know I should be doing. Perhaps my intention might be impure here, I should seek to evangelize without seeking anything. May the Lord find this atleast acceptable. Either way I should run into people. I don't know if I believe I should just do nothing at all day but pray for a wife and hope one falls from the sky without taking any action so I will seek the Kingdom first, in the process of such, hopefully meet someone and evangelize, hoping to meet someone.

That said. I can't help but look on a woman and see she is beautiful but then turn away lest I sin in my heart with lust. Is it possible for a man to look on a beautiful woman and not lust? Is noticing a woman is beautiful the same as lusting after here? Is sinning in the heart, being perhaps a spiritual sin, is that different that an "actual" sin the moment one would perhaps m-bate with lust in the heart or sexual immorality with sleeping with a woman. Is it only sin if I were to take action m-bate or sleep with?

Jesus specifically says in the KJV if a man were to look on a woman TO LUST on her, it's adultery in the heart (paraphrazed). Does this imply that if a man were to have no intention but to seek lust and actively look upon beautiful woman, not for seeking a wife, but just to lust, only then would it be sin? If I randomly came across a beautiful woman in the grocery store, is it okay to "check her out" without it becoming sinful? Otherwise, how can I look for a wife?

At the same time, I notice if I'm just randomly checking out woman, I get pulled into temptation. Perhaps I should instead, only act towards approaching woman from evangelism after immediately coming from prayer and being filled with the HS for protection. Thoughts, guidance?

Cheers

 

[Grip Docility]

I'm single and would like to meet a wife. I am seeking to put the Kingdom First and seek His righteousness, concern myself with bible study, meditation prayer, looking for ways to serve while also perhaps evangelism to people, including woman, hoping I can already meet a Christian woman this way. I can perhaps use my search for a wife to evangelize, which is also what I know I should be doing. Perhaps my intention might be impure here, I should seek to evangelize without seeking anything. May the Lord find this atleast acceptable. Either way I should run into people. I don't know if I believe I should just do nothing at all day but pray for a wife and hope one falls from the sky without taking any action so I will seek the Kingdom first, in the process of such, hopefully meet someone and evangelize, hoping to meet someone.

That said. I can't help but look on a woman and see she is beautiful but then turn away lest I sin in my heart with lust. Is it possible for a man to look on a beautiful woman and not lust? Is noticing a woman is beautiful the same as lusting after here? Is sinning in the heart, being perhaps a spiritual sin, is that different that an "actual" sin the moment one would perhaps m-bate with lust in the heart or sexual immorality with sleeping with a woman. Is it only sin if I were to take action m-bate or sleep with?

Jesus specifically says in the KJV if a man were to look on a woman TO LUST on her, it's adultery in the heart (paraphrazed). Does this imply that if a man were to have no intention but to seek lust and actively look upon beautiful woman, not for seeking a wife, but just to lust, only then would it be sin? If I randomly came across a beautiful woman in the grocery store, is it okay to "check her out" without it becoming sinful? Otherwise, how can I look for a wife?

At the same time, I notice if I'm just randomly checking out woman, I get pulled into temptation. Perhaps I should instead, only act towards approaching woman from evangelism after immediately coming from prayer and being filled with the HS for protection. Thoughts, guidance?

Cheers

I'm willing to answer this. Are you sure you want the answer from the words of experience?

 

[Pop D.]

Learn to check out a woman's spirit rather than her body. It'll save you a lot of trouble.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

I'm single and would like to meet a wife. I am seeking to put the Kingdom First and seek His righteousness, concern myself with bible study, meditation prayer, looking for ways to serve while also perhaps evangelism to people, including woman, hoping I can already meet a Christian woman this way. I can perhaps use my search for a wife to evangelize, which is also what I know I should be doing. Perhaps my intention might be impure here, I should seek to evangelize without seeking anything. May the Lord find this atleast acceptable. Either way I should run into people. I don't know if I believe I should just do nothing at all day but pray for a wife and hope one falls from the sky without taking any action so I will seek the Kingdom first, in the process of such, hopefully meet someone and evangelize, hoping to meet someone.

That said. I can't help but look on a woman and see she is beautiful but then turn away lest I sin in my heart with lust. Is it possible for a man to look on a beautiful woman and not lust? Is noticing a woman is beautiful the same as lusting after here? Is sinning in the heart, being perhaps a spiritual sin, is that different that an "actual" sin the moment one would perhaps m-bate with lust in the heart or sexual immorality with sleeping with a woman. Is it only sin if I were to take action m-bate or sleep with?

Jesus specifically says in the KJV if a man were to look on a woman TO LUST on her, it's adultery in the heart (paraphrazed). Does this imply that if a man were to have no intention but to seek lust and actively look upon beautiful woman, not for seeking a wife, but just to lust, only then would it be sin? If I randomly came across a beautiful woman in the grocery store, is it okay to "check her out" without it becoming sinful? Otherwise, how can I look for a wife?

At the same time, I notice if I'm just randomly checking out woman, I get pulled into temptation. Perhaps I should instead, only act towards approaching woman from evangelism after immediately coming from prayer and being filled with the HS for protection. Thoughts, guidance?

Cheers

You may not realize this but, Jewish culture at that time spoke often in hyperbolic language in order to make a point. It is obvious that sexual attraction is necessary for a healthy marriage. It is also obvious that one must look in order to see what is in front of them! So let us reason. What did Jesus Christ of Nazareth really mean?

Be RESPECTFUL.

Not that difficult if one is a Christian.

Be blessed.

 

[Grip Docility]

Learn to check out a woman's spirit rather than her body. It'll save you a lot of trouble.

This can save someone from suffering enormous pain!!!!!

 

[Holy Universe]

I'm willing to answer this. Are you sure you want the answer from the words of experience?

Yes, please.

 

[Holy Universe]

This can save someone from suffering enormous pain!!!!!

Yes, but to even acknowledge she is a woman to begin with you must first look - in that moment there can be attraction or not. I need to come to terms that simply looking at a woman who I find attractive is not "adultery in my heart". Attraction does not mean lust, or more simply acknowledging beauty is not a sin in itself. The moment you engage in sex or m-bation with lust, that is certainly sin. This way I can atleast provide a window for the possibility of meeting a woman I find attractive without it going against my concious. Even if it isn't a sin, if it's against my concious, doing what I think might be sinful anyway is dishonoring God, even if its not a sin.

That said, I'm looking for attraction, which comes in different forms, beauty or a sense of modesty or peaceful look in a woman. My immidiate concern is if she is a Christian. If so, I'd make sure she can articulate the gospel to make she really is a Christian.

The very next most important thing, a deal breaker, is her spiritual nature. My love language is peace. I'm attracted to this most in a woman. If she doesn't have it, I feel I must look elsewhere. Specifically, does she pray. Does she actually enjoy from her heart, sitting in silence, in rest, and meditating on the word and praying to God. If she has this, I'll pretty much overlook just about anything, even beauty because this is what I enjoy doing the most, so I seek to spend a lot of time doing this. If she doesn't or can't enjoy it, I'd be spinning my wheels.

How do you guys look for the "spiritual nature" of a woman?

 

[Holy Universe]

You may not realize this but, Jewish culture at that time spoke often in hyperbolic language in order to make a point. It is obvious that sexual attraction is necessary for a healthy marriage. It is also obvious that one must look in order to see what is in front of them! So let us reason. What did Jesus Christ of Nazareth really mean?

Be RESPECTFUL.

Not that difficult if one is a Christian.

Be blessed.

Thanks. I appreciate you common sense and rational approach to this. It's occurring to me now too that I must have a wrong theology somewhere in my mind if I can't even look at a woman so I'm attempting to seek wisdom from men in general who can assure me there is a godly way to find a wife without it becoming sin in the process of actually finding one.

I'm also pretty sure there is a fine balance for men when it comes to noticing beauty in a woman and lust. Lust is not irrevelant to what Jesus is saying. I'm sure we can trust his words to men what they are saying.

As men, even looking at a woman instantly is the potential for lust. I think I need some men in here to tell me noticing beauty, or perhaps attraction in general isn't always lust.

 

[Pop D.]

I think you're confusing attraction and lust. Lusting is obsession, letting your imagination run wild, doing nothing to keep yourself in check. Very different from a momentary attraction.

 

[Grip Docility]

Yes, please.

As a Christian man, sex seems like a super big deal! It is, for sure. There is something lost in New Testament understanding when Paul talks about the subject. First and foremost, Paul uses sex as an analogy, just like Moses, YHWH and YHWH Saves (AKA Yeshua or Jesus) used it. It is a 100% analogy for fidelity to GOD!

When you run across the verse about "Avoiding Sexual Immorality", Christians tend to forget that this was in light of the Greco Romans coming into the church. You have utterly no idea how different that statement was when written in scripture, than what the Puritan culture has made it. Men and Women have sex drives that are biological facts and they were put there by God. God also put the "Hubba" in Hubba Hubba"! Women are beautiful! That was God's doing. We desire to hold them and make them all ours, just like they feel the same about us.

Why would I say this? Because, as you get older in a relationship, you will see that though sex is fun and wonderful, other aspects of the relationship become FAR more important. Above all, can you be yourselves around one another, warts and all? Are you both emotionally compatible? See, the Hubba Hubba of the matter tends to blind us to the REALITY of a future with someone. We live in a culture where Women and Men are told to dress certain ways and behave certain ways, even in church culture, but God didn't make cookie cutter people. Further more, all woman are beautiful to someone when they are dressed like Eve originally was!

What I'm getting at is, God made the Hubba Hubba part and didn't talk about the "second look" to then say... I made them wonderful to look at and if you enjoy that... BANG... you fell into my trap. Thank God for the beauty of Women! Thank God that you are motivated to find a main squeeze....... Jesus magnified the Law to show that we were worthless by it 100% of the time. Jesus was pointing out our need for Him and setting up for provision of the new covenant.

Now, the most important part of ALL.... Read what @Pop D. wrote over and over! Burn it into your brain! "Learn to check out a woman's spirit rather than her body. It'll save you a lot of trouble."

He's on the money! Don't be afraid to honestly "shop around" before you buy! She should be doing the same thing! Modern Christian conceptualization of relational "Morality" has a really bad way of making a bunch of people wayyyy too eager to marry for Bedroom time, when the Bedroom, though special and wonderful, isn't the foundation of Joy in a marriage.

Look FOR INNER BEAUTY!!!! Not kidding here! It's so important that words can't emphasize it enough.

I'm going to write out an old Joke.

A King had to choose between the 3 best woman of his Kingdom.

1 was a master with money
2 was a brilliant political strategist
3 was a phenomenal homemaker

The Joke is, you ask which one the King picked, wait for someone to answer per your description... then you say.. WRONG! He picked the one with the Best Figure!

It's funny, but that King was a very foolish man! The things that are brought up as traits for 1, 2 and 3 are all irrelevant, as well as the "Figure". If you don't mutually fall in Love with one another's hearts, the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION won't matter! I can't emphasize this enough! Attraction that grows from the heart is so much more satisfying than attraction that is forged by the Va Va Va Voom of the matter! I PROMISE you, this. Women are Beautiful! God did that! Stop thinking that He set a trap for you! It's not biblical! Satan gets ZERO credit for the curves of the softer gender! If you are afraid of feeling like a wolf whistling, congratulations, God did that!

Now that all of that has been said, DO NOT jump at the one that you first date, or the first one that may or may not compel you to hold and squeeze a little longer than you thought you should have. Also, don't let either one of those two girls meet! Kidding. But, seriously, LISTEN to Pop D! Get to know her SOUL and make sure she knows YOURS. If you both disagree over dumb stuff frequently, when you're dating... magnify that by 1000000 when you get married and it will get worse! What's worse than being a bag of raging hormones? Being stuck in a marriage where you literally feel like life has lost all meaning and you can't take one more second of emotional abuse without falling apart into an emotional wreck!

Make sure that you both are 100 percent happy and comfortable with one another's crazy! Fall in Love with her from the INSIDE out! Make sure that you both support one another's individuality, but find a new person that you both Love, growing from the togetherness of both of you.

All Love in Jesus Christ to you, brother in Him.

PS, if you end up dating a gal and enjoying her company as much as she enjoys yours, you better be looking at her! Its imperative not to look at another woman at that point! That's where Jesus' warning about the second look can save your life!

Closing Joke... Find a woman that is good at cooking, good in the romance department and good with finances. Then, make sure none of these 3 women ever meet! I am trying to interject one last point through humor... BREATH, RELAX, Stop Over thinking it.... You do the looking and the Holy Spirit can do the sorting. She should be doing the same.

One last thing… editing this in… If she brings up a previous relationship or even worse how mistreated she was by a previous relationship within the first 6 dates… Leave a card board cutout of yourself, by being as determined to get gone as Lot was from Sodom and Gamorrah!

 

[Grip Docility]

Yes, but to even acknowledge she is a woman to begin with you must first look - in that moment there can be attraction or not. I need to come to terms that simply looking at a woman who I find attractive is not "adultery in my heart". Attraction does not mean lust, or more simply acknowledging beauty is not a sin in itself. The moment you engage in sex or m-bation with lust, that is certainly sin. This way I can at least provide a window for the possibility of meeting a woman I find attractive without it going against my conscious. Even if it isn't a sin, if it's against my conscious, doing what I think might be sinful anyway is dishonoring God, even if its not a sin.

This is between you and God. But, I assure you, this has absolutely no relational value to finding a suitable companion.

That said, I'm looking for attraction, which comes in different forms, beauty or a sense of modesty or peaceful look in a woman. My immediate concern is if she is a Christian. If so, I'd make sure she can articulate the gospel to make she really is a Christian.

"Christian is a loaded term" People can "hide" behind scripture. What I mean is... I recommend that you look for a gal that has a genuine, passionate relationship with Jesus. Don't check her theology too deeply! If you like bible study, ensure she does too and will for a lifetime. A non theological gal that is passionate about Jesus might end up growing in Jesus with you, which is a wonderful thing. Don't expect to be on the same theological page about everything! Relationship with Jesus is Critical, above all! This said, if she doesn't believe that Jesus is God, from the Father and was the Word become Flesh... that may (by may, I mean run) be a matter to shy away from. Um, by may, I mean don't ever assume that you can CHANGE a gal, because what appears to be change to synch a relationship, falls away within a few years.

The very next most important thing, a deal breaker, is her spiritual nature. My love language is peace. I'm attracted to this most in a woman. If she doesn't have it, I feel I must look elsewhere. Specifically, does she pray. Does she actually enjoy from her heart, sitting in silence, in rest, and meditating on the word and praying to God. If she has this, I'll pretty much overlook just about anything, even beauty because this is what I enjoy doing the most, so I seek to spend a lot of time doing this. If she doesn't or can't enjoy it, I'd be spinning my wheels.

How do you guys look for the "spiritual nature" of a woman?

I'm not being sarcastic here... remember that she is indeed a person! Get to know her. Women typically enjoy being heard. Don't give her answers to these questions about her that you are looking for in the above quote. Women that set there sites on a fellow have a way of extracting such things, then giving the "right answer", despite the fact that years remove that quality, which they will! It's best to shoot straight with her, as well! Again, years reveal much that either party tries to hide about their very being/personality. Best to ALWAYS be yourself and see how she reveals the same matter about herself.

 

[St_Worm2]

I'm single and would like to meet a wife. I am seeking to put the Kingdom First and seek His righteousness, concern myself with bible study, meditation prayer, looking for ways to serve while also perhaps evangelism to people, including woman, hoping I can already meet a Christian woman this way. I can perhaps use my search for a wife to evangelize, which is also what I know I should be doing. Perhaps my intention might be impure here, I should seek to evangelize without seeking anything. May the Lord find this atleast acceptable. Either way I should run into people. I don't know if I believe I should just do nothing at all day but pray for a wife and hope one falls from the sky without taking any action so I will seek the Kingdom first, in the process of such, hopefully meet someone and evangelize, hoping to meet someone.

Hello Holy Universe, just to be clear, are you talking about "missionary dating" above (which is the idea of leading an unbelieving woman who you are attracted to, to Christ, so that you can, in turn, lead her down the aisle to become your wife)?

Or did you mean something else? Thanks

That said. I can't help but look on a woman and see she is beautiful but then turn away lest I sin in my heart with lust. Is it possible for a man to look on a beautiful woman and not lust?

Yes (well, I suppose it depends on what you mean by "looking" at a beautiful woman). Looking at your ~sister in Christ~ is ok, of course, especially at her eyes when you are talking to her, but lusting after her, not so much (as I know you know).

Turning your gaze away to avoid lust is exactly what you should be doing for now (as well, taking any lustful thoughts that you may have "captive" .. e.g. 2 Corinthians 10:5 cf 1 Corinthians 10:13).

Praying w/o ceasing, which we are admonished to do anyway, is also advisable in regard to this problem.

Is noticing a woman is beautiful the same as lusting after her?

No (BTW, remembering who she is, your sister in Christ, should help you keep what you are doing to looking/noticing instead of lusting).

If I randomly came across a beautiful woman in the grocery store, is it okay to "check her out" without it becoming sinful? Otherwise, how can I look for a wife? At the same time, I notice if I'm just randomly checking out woman, I get pulled into temptation.

Noticing/appreciating a woman for her beauty, and thanking God for creating such beauty, is fine.

As far as "looking" for a wife goes, consider this, if you need to turn your gaze away from a woman to keep from lusting after her, then you already know that she is physically attractive to you, yes? So, with that now out of the way (the knowledge that you are physically attracted to her, that is) the good news is this, you can move on to the FAR more important matters that are involved in "checking someone out" who you think that you want to make a life with

Praying for you!

God bless you!!

--David
p.s. - remember too that, as Christians, the Lord is our portion, and as such, our desire to please, honor and obey Him needs to override ALL of our other desires. We, in point of fact, need to surrender ~all~ of our desires to His Lordship, just like we need to surrender everything else to Him (always trusting that He knows and wants what is best for us, including who to marry and when, or even if we should get married). Did you ever consider that that (surrendering your desire to find a wife and be married) is what He is waiting for you to do? By all means, continue to pray to Him about your desire to be married, the difficulties that you are having with waiting to be married, etc., but also for His help in knowing exactly what to do in this case (and with being patient in waiting for Him to answer you in the meantime).

The following is a verse is wonderful command with a wonderful promise attached to it from God Just be sure to understand clearly what our half of the verse is instructing you to do (so that God can fulfill His half of the verse, and to be sure that you don't unwittingly change the nature of your relationship with Him into one that is based on a quid pro quo ).

Psalm 37​

4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.​

.

 

[Questioning Brother]

A) There is a difference between noticing a beuatiful woman and lusting after her. Look at a woman without your thoughts turning sexual. If you find yourself doing that, stop and take control of your thoughts. If you can't, repent.
B) Remember you are forgiven in Christ (I am making an assumption of the state of your soul). Ask for forgiveness.

 

[Fervent]

Something important to note is that lust isn't only about sexual attraction, but also must contain an element of covetousness. It's not just about having sexual attraction to a woman, it's about being murderously envious over her beauty and wanting to possess her illicitely. And you're more likely to experience it if you are overzealous in your attempts to avoid it, rather than recognizing that you're going to have sexual impulses and desires at some point. So the prohibition isn't simply not to be sexually attracted to a woman, but not to dwell and obsess over that sexual attraction to the point that she becomes an object to satisfy your sexual cravings.

 

[Diamond72]

Otherwise, how can I look for a wife?

You can consider a mail order bride from a third world nation like the Philippines. There are web sites like cherry blossom where the girls will contact you if you are on the site long enough. You can witness and evangelize all you want. Although there are people who have problems with missionary dating. The main thing is to pray and ask God to provide you with a wife. But then he is going to want to work on you to prepare you for her. So you need to allow God to do a work on you to turn you into good marriage material. A man is to sacrifice himself for his bride the way Jesus sacrificed himself for the church. The biggest advantage to getting a women from a distant place is the children turn out real good. There is no inbreeding so they come out very intelligent and very healthy. People with a lot of inbreeding like the Amish and "Jewish" people have a lot of sickness and disease because of that.

Many people meet on dating sites on the internet and that gives you a chance to find someone based on who they are and not their physical appearance.

 

[Servus]

You have to be married already or there has to be a married woman involved in order to commit adultery.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

You have to be married already or there has to be a married woman involved in order to commit adultery.

You hit the nail on the head for this particular question and Bible verse. Yeshua's remark in Matthew deals with a the situation where a man might strongly (physically) desire someone else's wife .. because doing so would be the precursor to actual physical adultery. If the woman in question was not married, the act of 'taking her' would not be classified as adultery. The Biblical definition of adultery solely depends on the marital status of the woman, not of the man.

That whole section of the Sermon on the Mount revolves around Yeshua's point that actual sin starts with our heart/mental attitude/desires. Before physical murder we might call someone a fool, before actual adultery we might unhealthily sexually obsess about someone else's wife.

Also @Holy Universe OP: please forget the English word 'LUST' - it's not helpful to understand the subtleties of the Greek text. The Greek has no such word; only the word for strong desire 'epithymia' (strong nr G1939) which can be used either in a positive or negative context.

Noticing that a woman (married or not) is beautiful is not sinful, dwelling on that or her sexual attractiveness is not a good idea, obviously certainly not in case she is married.

 

[Holy Universe]

I still plan on responding to other posters when I have more time, but I want to chime in here based on my interpretation, perspective on Jesus' words.

I'd need more convincing that Jesus was only refering to married woman, and therefore, looking on a single woman therefore with lust is somehow allowed, or not as bad.

Even that single woman will be someone else's wife one day, assuming she won't be your wife in the future, so, in a sense, you are lusting after another mans wife, though from the perspective of God, from the future. Can not God see the end of all things? He knows when you are lusting after such a person who even though at the moment are single, He knows who they will be married to in the future, so in His eyes, would He not consider this aldultery?

Also, one more point about the whole, Jesus only meant respect interpretation. Jesus went to so far as to say to even pluck out ones eye or cut off ones hand (which might refer to m-bating, or perhaps any idolatry of works which cause one to focus on this world than God). It doesn't make sense then if we put that word into this warning. If you don't show respect to a woman, then pluck out your eye or cut off your hand, etc.

Jesus seems to indicate whatever this lust is and what it entails, its seriously dangerous enough to justify plucking out an eye or cutting off a hand. It brings to my mind that sexual attraction is so powerful, it has the potential to perhaps cause one to turn away from God and faith in Christ, decieved by sin and blinded by it, for a carnal mind is at enmity with God. Strong enough attraction to sin, sexual immorality might cause one to choose the flesh over walking in the spirit.

This is not digressing into OSAS, so please let's not digress too much into this topic.

 

[Holy Universe]

@Reluctant Theologian Bingo! This sounds like it will be extremely helpful to understand the greek definition of lust, or whatever word they used. I'll look that up. If there is anything you can add on this definition, to help explain it, please share.

AI to the rescue ( if you have anything to add, please do)

Prompt:
Can you help me understand the english word lust and how it differs and is similar to the greek word lust used in the bible. What is the greek word for lust that has been translated in the KJV of the bible? What is the definition of that greek word?

Answer

The English word "lust" is often used to describe a strong desire or craving, often in a negative sense. However, the Greek word used in the Bible has a different connotation and meaning.
In the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible, the Greek word πορνοεω (porneuo) is translated as "lust" in several places, including Matthew 5:28, Galatians 5:16, and 1 Timothy 6:9.
Definition of πορνοεω (porneuo):
Πορνοεω (porneuo) is a Greek verb that means "to commit adultery" or "to engage in prostitution." In its broader sense, it can refer to any kind of sexual immorality or sinful behavior.
In the context of the Bible, πορνοêu (porneuo) often refers to the act of sexual sin or immorality, but it can also imply a desire for something that is not rightfully yours or a longing for something that is not good. In this sense, it can be translated as "lust" or "covetousness."
Comparison with English "lust":
While the English word "lust" can refer to a strong desire or craving, it often carries a more neutral or even positive connotation. In contrast, πορνοêu (porneuo) in the Bible has a stronger negative connotation, implying a desire for something that is sinful or immoral.
In modern English, the word "lust" can be used to describe a desire for something that is not necessarily wrong or sinful. For example, someone might say, "I lust after that new car" or "I lust after a good meal." In these cases, the word "lust" is used to describe a strong desire or craving, but it does not carry the same negative connotation as πορνοêu (porneuo) in the Bible.
Other Greek words translated as "lust" in the KJV:
In addition to πορνοêu (porneuo), there are several other Greek words that are translated as "lust" in the KJV. These include:

• ἡδολαζω (hēdalazo), which means "to take pleasure" or "to delight in" (e.g., Romans 13:13)
• ἡδολα (hēdōla), which means "pleasure" or "delight" (e.g., 2 Timothy 3:4)
• ἐπιθυμεω (epithumeō), which means "to desire" or "to covet" (e.g., Mark 4:19)

Each of these Greek words has its own unique meaning and connotation, and they are often translated differently depending on the context in which they are used.
I hope this helps clarify the meaning and usage of the Greek word πορνοêu (porneuo) and its relationship to the English word "lust." Let me know if you have any further questions!

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

@Reluctant Theologian Bingo! This sounds like it will be extremely helpful to understand the greek definition of lust, or whatever word they used. I'll look that up. If there is anything you can add on this definition, to help explain it, please share.

Dwelling / obsessing on the sexual attractiveness of any woman is never a good idea: in case of married woman it may lead to actual adultery, in case of an unmarried woman it may lead to fornication/rape, and in case of your own wife a man may risk objectification or even masking a sexual addiction.

Noticing a woman's beauty is never a sin.
Unintentionally experiencing arousal when accidentally observing a woman is not a sin.
Letting your eyes/thoughts wander off to fantasies is where the problems start for either a married or unmarried woman.

For Matthew: as soon as Yeshua uses the word 'adultery', all his Jewish listeners would immediately know what this refers to as the Torah definition was very clear: a married woman being intimate with a man not her husband. So we have to interpret Yeshua's comments with this definition/context in mind.

In the Ten Words we find the commandment 'do not steal' and 'do not commit adultery', but we also find the precursor of both acts in "You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s." (Exodus 20:17).

It's exactly that point of the tenth commandment that Yeshua is expanding on in the Sermon on the Mount: it's the coveting/desire of what belongs to someone else that leads to stealing or adultery (adultery is stealing someone else's wife).

We have to guard our heart and thoughts in order to not get into territory that will lead to physical sin (e.g. theft, adultery).