Modest Dress for Women.

[HIM]

Tight fitting clothes look gross, and should be banned from churches.

Right, but us guys need to be aware too. The Tight pants, shirts and jackets we wear are an issue for women also. We need to be modest all times. Sexuallity is a big issue in regards to sin. And we are responsible if we make ourselves a stumbling block in the world and in the Church. THERE IS NO difference in respect to this.

 

[Jermayn]

Well, I think that’s up to the men to control themselves and stop being pervs. Also, if they are assuming a girl is a certain type of girl just because she’s wearing a short dress/skirt, they are being judgmental. Personally, I wear these during the summer because I like to feel the air on my legs and I stay nice and cool.

Ok, so distractions only count if it's a woman complaining about it. Men are just perverts. Glad you cleared up that particular scripture for us.

 

[bèlla]

No, one does not dress revealingly to fit in. One dresses according to what God would have them. Just like one would act according to what God would have them act. And if there be consequences so be it. We are to be happy to suffer for the Lord's sake and His will like our Savior.

None of which applies to the example cited. He mentioned the ghetto. Not persons yielded to Christ in those surroundings. Which is the basis for the OP. We're not addressing modesty as it pertains to all women. We're discussing its relevance for believers.

The comment is irrelevant and off-topic.

~bella

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

Well, I think that’s up to the men to control themselves and stop being pervs. Also, if they are assuming a girl is a certain type of girl just because she’s wearing a short dress/skirt, they are being judgmental. Personally, I wear these during the summer because I like to feel the air on my legs and I stay nice and cool.

Ironically, you’re being judgmental yourself, by calling men ‘pervs’ and assuming they can’t control themselves. Many men can easily control themselves, because they find women who go around in public dressed provocatively with everything on full display to be pervs..see how that works?

It’s also pretty selfish to not have any consideration for the men who do have issues with lust. As for assuming someone is ‘that type of girl’, for how they dress, well..if ya ain’t in business, don’t advertise.

 

[HIM]

None of which applies to the example cited. He mentioned the ghetto. Not persons yielded to Christ in those surroundings. Which is the basis for the OP. We're not addressing modesty as it pertains to all women. We're discussing its relevance for believers.

The comment is irrelevant and off-topic.

~bella

It doesn’t matter where one is at as a Christian. As a Christian our answer is the same regardless if one is in the faith.

 

[AlexB23]

Right, but us guys need to be aware too. The Tight pants, shirts and jackets we wear are an issue for women also. We need to be modest all times. Sexuallity is a big issue in regards to sin. And we are responsible if we make ourselves a stumbling block in the world and in the Church. THERE IS NO difference in respect to this.

Agreed. I do not wear tight clothing either as a guy, plus tight clothing is uncomfortable. My church clothing is typically khaki and a button up shirt. If one can not afford a nice button up shirt or khaki pants, a thrift store is a good place (and I like thrift store clothes regardless of the cost).

 

[bèlla]

Well, I think that’s up to the men to control themselves and stop being pervs.

This is a subject I've had the pleasure of addressing in depth with men I've known over the years. We've shared a similar practice of self-restraint. It's an old principle you'll find in early writings. A holistic control of sorts that enabled the possessor to hold their mind, heart and body in check. The rewards are manyfold. You're less likely to crack, aren't easily swayed or seduced.

For the people in my company and myself it's a question of power. It's not about the clothes, behavior or possessions that bother us. They're easily ignored. It's the bend that's troubling. The thing about another that compels you to relinquish something that should remain in place.

That's what I focus on. That's the weakness that must be obliterated.

~bella

 

[Sunflower39]

Ironically, you’re being judgmental yourself, by calling men ‘pervs’ and assuming they can’t control themselves. Many men can easily control themselves, because they find women who go around in public dressed provocatively with everything on full display to be pervs..see how that works?


It’s also pretty selfish to not have any consideration for the men who do have issues with lust. As for assuming someone is ‘that type of girl’, for how they dress, well..if ya ain’t in business, don’t advertise.

I don’t condone women going around dressing provocatively. I don’t dress provocatively myself. I just disagree with women feeling like they have to cover all of their skin because some men can’t control themselves. There is just no excuse for some men’s behaviours.

Would you regard a woman wearing a shortish dress in summer when the weather is hot as ‘that type of girl’? I mean this type of dress as attached. These are the types of dresses I wear during the summer and I would not consider them to be provocative.

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

I don’t condone women going around dressing provocatively. I don’t dress provocatively myself. I just disagree with women feeling like they have to cover all of their skin because some men can’t control themselves. There is just no excuse for some men’s behaviours.

Would you regard a woman wearing a shortish dress in summer when the weather is hot as ‘that type of girl’? I mean this type of dress as attached. These are the types of dresses I wear during the summer and I would not consider them to be provocative.

View attachment 344980

LOL, it ain’t my place to ‘approve’ your attire..you dress yourself however you see fit. I was just trying to establish a point..

Yeah I am sure that there’s some weirdo behavior from dudes who can’t control their lust. I’ve had former girlfriends tell me all about it. I don’t expect women to dress like Pilgrims, that is for sure. Wouldn’t be able to even if they wanted to unless they shop at costume stores.

That type of dress is common, I wouldn’t consider someone ‘that type’ for wearing that. But some stuff Ive seen..crazy.

 

[CoreyD]

Zeroing in on this part to raise a question. In parts of the inner city, male and female alike feel a need to fit in, because standing out puts them in danger.

Suppose (name chosen at random) Jenny walks around in her neighborhood, the only one wearing a tasteful knee-length skirt, a buttoned up blouse, a blazer, and shoes that don't have heels high enough to force her to thrust out and sway certain body parts as she walks. She's also wearing her hair and makeup in a way that, anywhere else, would not grab everybody's attention. But all of the other young woman present are dressed one of two ways. Either they're wearing a micromini skirt with a midriff top and stiletto heels, and they're blinged out with heavy makeup and jewelry. Or they're copying the male way of dress, IE sagging jeans belted so low that their boxer shorts are visible. Their sports jerseys are long and loose enough to cover the sag, but they have to hold their pants up when they walk, or they'll fall down, so the boxers stay visible.

I, personally, don't consider either of these ways of dressing "modest."

But Jenny, in her very un-flashiness, is going to stand out among the other young women, and this is going to trigger resentment. They are not going to see her as modest. They're going to see her as putting on airs. "What, do you think you're better than us, or something?" She's no more financially equipped to move out of that neighborhood than anybody else is. Jenny is not safe in this environment. What she will get is anything but respect. She'll be targeted, ganged up on, and harrassed. Not necessarily by the men, but by the other women. If she's lucky, they MIGHT stop at that. I've seen THAT personally too.

What is "modest" in this environment? Dressing as everyone else does, and blending in, or wearing conservative pieces that cover her up, and causing her peers to think she looks down on them and thinks too much of herself?

For those who have had personal experience in this area, they can all prove you wrong.
Jenny earns respect. It may not come immediately, but as Jenny remains a wall in the face of the envious - not allowing the world to shape her (Romans 12:2), she earns he respect of those girls who aren't too hardened by the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13)
This is actually factually demonstrated, by hundreds of experiences.

Consider the boy or girl that is picked on and bullied because they get top marks, and pay attention in class, while the others, goof off, and skylark.
Or the employee that is singled out by other employees, because they are jealous of their skills, or their honesty, while they lie for the boss, or steal money, and time.
Is it not true, that by maintaining their good conduct, they earn respect and praise from not only the teacher, or boss, but some students and some workmates?
Isn't it a fact?

Does conforming help the envious? No, it doesn't.
Why not view Jenny's situation the same way?
A plus for Jenny, is that she earns the respect, not only of all decent people, but like Jesus, she finds favor bot with God, and men.

Thanks though, for hitting the nail on the had, on why women, who claim to represent God, fall down in this area.
The "I ain't no grandma quote" is actually a joining the bandwagon quote.
It's when women don't want to be viewed by their peers as "old-fashioned", "great", "miss stuck-up", and the list goes on.
So, they try to get as close to the worldlings as they possibly can, while thinking they haven't gone too far, as to not keep a foot in the door.

It's actually very sad, because it gives those "other young woman" - the "dress as they pleased", the opportunity to ridicule the faith. Not only that, but because they no longer feel condemned by the ones that give in to peer pressure... which is how they really feel, by the Jennys in this world - Sort of like how the Pharisees felt about Jesus, they do not see the need to make any lifestyle changes nor repent of any sinful lifestyle. Thanks to those claiming to reverence God, but not identifying as such, by their dress. 2 Peter 2:2

Jenny is to be commended.

1. She seeks to immitate the Christ, of whom the scriptures say, "even Christ did not please himself" Romans 15:3
2. She seeks to build her neighbor up spiritually as recommended of God's ministers - Each of us should please our neighbors for their good. Romans 15:2
3. She isn't just interested in what she wants - her own interests, as is required of those serving God - not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:4; 1 Corinthians 10:24
4. She considers not causing anyone to stumble, as she tries to please everyone in every way. Not seeking her own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:32, 33 Also, she is concerned that she does nothing that would discredit the ministry. 2 Corinthians 6:3
5. She is making sure that even in her dress, she is doing everything - not for her own attention, but for God's glory - whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ...because, let's face it, woman wear short skirts to "look sexy", show their legs. They make an issue of insisting on that style of dress, in the same way people insist on freeing the nipple, or freeing their body. 'It's my body', they say.

Do you not agree Jenny is a fine example of a rock solid Christian?
For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” Romans 15:3

 

[CoreyD]

I don’t condone women going around dressing provocatively. I don’t dress provocatively myself. I just disagree with women feeling like they have to cover all of their skin because some men can’t control themselves. There is just no excuse for some men’s behaviours.

Would you regard a woman wearing a shortish dress in summer when the weather is hot as ‘that type of girl’? I mean this type of dress as attached. These are the types of dresses I wear during the summer and I would not consider them to be provocative.

View attachment 344980

Sunflower what's your understanding of sexually provocative., and would the way it is viewed in the society or culture, you reside, affect your view in any way?

 

[Sunflower39]

LOL, it ain’t my place to ‘approve’ your attire..you dress yourself however you see fit. I was just trying to establish a point..

Yeah I am sure that there’s some weirdo behavior from dudes who can’t control their lust. I’ve had former girlfriends tell me all about it. I don’t expect women to dress like Pilgrims, that is for sure. Wouldn’t be able to even if they wanted to unless they shop at costume stores.

That type of dress is common, I wouldn’t consider someone ‘that type’ for wearing that. But some stuff Ive seen..crazy.

LOL I wasn’t asking for you to approve my attire. Im just trying to gain an understanding of what you consider to be provocative.

I agree with you. Some of the stuff women wear is deliberately provocative and very obviously for attention but I think it’s also up to the men to control themselves.

 

[Sunflower39]

Sunflower what's your understanding of sexually provocative., and would the way it is viewed in the society or culture, you reside, affect your view in any way?

My understanding of sexually provocative is when people dress to deliberately draw attention to themselves from the opposite sex. They want people of the opposite sex to lust over them.

However, what gets me is that some men seem to think that if any women show a bit of leg, this means that they’re also this way inclined. Some women like to wear short dresses and skirts when it’s hot because they like to keep cool and it’s what they’re comfortable wearing.

I think my views align with the western culture/society I reside in. If I was a Muslim, then perhaps my views would be different but I’m not a Muslim. Therefore, I don’t feel the need to cover myself from head to toe in an attempt to stop men from looking at me. I feel that men should also have some self-control.

When I think about what I’m going to wear for the day, I do actually consider the impression I might be putting across to others. If a top is too low-cut, I won’t wear it. If a dress is too short, I won’t wear it. However, like I said, some men simply can’t control themselves and like to ogle women even if the woman is not dressed with the intention to attract attention.

I have received unwanted attention and my intention has definitely not been to attract any attention. I am a happily married woman with children. I was even whistled at when I was 8 months pregnant, obvious baby bump on show. Is this acceptable? Should I wear loose fitting garments, covered from head to toe to avoid this?

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

For those who have had personal experience in this area, they can all prove you wrong.
Jenny earns respect. It may not come immediately, but as Jenny remains a wall in the face of the envious - not allowing the world to shape her (Romans 12:2), she earns he respect of those girls who aren't too hardened by the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13)
This is actually factually demonstrated, by hundreds of experiences.

Consider the boy or girl that is picked on and bullied because they get top marks, and pay attention in class, while the others, goof off, and skylark.
Or the employee that is singled out by other employees, because they are jealous of their skills, or their honesty, while they lie for the boss, or steal money, and time.
Is it not true, that by maintaining their good conduct, they earn respect and praise from not only the teacher, or boss, but some students and some workmates?
Isn't it a fact?

Does conforming help the envious? No, it doesn't.
Why not view Jenny's situation the same way?
A plus for Jenny, is that she earns the respect, not only of all decent people, but like Jesus, she finds favor bot with God, and men.

Thanks though, for hitting the nail on the had, on why women, who claim to represent God, fall down in this area.
The "I ain't no grandma quote" is actually a joining the bandwagon quote.
It's when women don't want to be viewed by their peers as "old-fashioned", "great", "miss stuck-up", and the list goes on.
So, they try to get as close to the worldlings as they possibly can, while thinking they haven't gone too far, as to not keep a foot in the door.

It's actually very sad, because it gives those "other young woman" - the "dress as they pleased", the opportunity to ridicule the faith. Not only that, but because they no longer feel condemned by the ones that give in to peer pressure... which is how they really feel, by the Jennys in this world - Sort of like how the Pharisees felt about Jesus, they do not see the need to make any lifestyle changes nor repent of any sinful lifestyle. Thanks to those claiming to reverence God, but not identifying as such, by their dress. 2 Peter 2:2

Jenny is to be commended.

1. She seeks to immitate the Christ, of whom the scriptures say, "even Christ did not please himself" Romans 15:3
2. She seeks to build her neighbor up spiritually as recommended of God's ministers - Each of us should please our neighbors for their good. Romans 15:2
3. She isn't just interested in what she wants - her own interests, as is required of those serving God - not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:4; 1 Corinthians 10:24
4. She considers not causing anyone to stumble, as she tries to please everyone in every way. Not seeking her own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:32, 33 Also, she is concerned that she does nothing that would discredit the ministry. 2 Corinthians 6:3
5. She is making sure that even in her dress, she is doing everything - not for her own attention, but for God's glory - whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 ...because, let's face it, woman wear short skirts to "look sexy", show their legs. They make an issue of insisting on that style of dress, in the same way people insist on freeing the nipple, or freeing their body. 'It's my body', they say.

Do you not agree Jenny is a fine example of a rock solid Christian?
For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: “The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” Romans 15:3

You make good points.

Sure, Jenny might be in danger when out in the world, if she's very different from the others. Sure, they're going to heap abuse on her, and even accuse her of motives she doesn't actually have. "You're so self-righteous, Miss High and Mighty, you think you're better than the rest of us," etc. Sure, in extreme cases, even her life might be threatened.

But isn't that true of Christians all over? We're not as likely to be outright persectued in this country. At most we are likely to be mocked, whereas persecution is when someone can be arrested, jailed, and/or executed for being a Christian. We do, however, face that mocking from the world.

I've got you on the "Eww, I don't want to dress like a grandma" attitude. I've seen some beautiful long dresses in my lifetime. And what's so bad about being a grandma, anyway? Don't most people love their grandmas?

 

[bèlla]

I think my views align with the western culture/society I reside in. If I was a Muslim, then perhaps my views would be different but I’m not a Muslim. Therefore, I don’t feel the need to cover myself from head to toe in an attempt to stop men from looking at me.

That's the other side of the coin. If you opt for greater coverage you'll draw attention to yourself. I received a few comments from concerned 'Christian ladies' when I wore a head covering for a year. As they began to speak I asked them pointedly is that a word? That ended the discussion. The Lord wasn't speaking to them.

It can be demonstratively worse for clothes depending on the style. A 1950s dress will draw less pushback than something Victorian. Neither are wrong but difference makes some people uncomfortable. Most of the chatter will come from women. Men don't care about that.

While setting plays a part we reside in a diverse culture. I wouldn't feel pressured not to wear those things because I'm not bothered by the whispers. If that wasn't the case I would suggest minor modifications. But I wouldn't advise them to conform.

~bella

 

[CoreyD]

My understanding of sexually provocative is when people dress to deliberately draw attention to themselves from the opposite sex. They want people of the opposite sex to lust over them.

How would you know that a person dressed to deliberately draw attention to themselves?

However, what gets me is that some men seem to think that if any women show a bit of leg, this means that they’re also this way inclined.

Why do you think someone is wrong to think that a woman showing "a bit of leg" aka, too much skin, is trying to draw attention to herself from the opposite sex?

Some women like to wear short dresses and skirts when it’s hot because they like to keep cool and it’s what they’re comfortable wearing.

Sunflower...
You are not saying it wasn't hot before the 60s, or the women prior to then didn't want to wear short skirts... Or, maybe they weren't available then, because the "pervs" didn't get their garments attractive enough for the women that didn't want to be "kitty cats"?

Surely you don't think things don't originate without a purpose.
Have you seen the school uniforms of some countries, which I would not name, but I am sure, most have seen?
I laud the head teachers, who have the rule, that the skirt length, of school girls' uniform, should be at least two inches below the knees.
A big smile is on my face, when I see them. They look so... decent.


On the other hand....

About 10 per cent of a UK school's population was sent home because their skirts were deemed too short, however parents disagree and are angry. Getty Images

Parents of a group of teenage girls are angry after a head teacher at a UK school sent their daughters home without warning this week for wearing uniform skirts she felt were too short.

The parents do not think these are provocative. Interesting.

Would you be interested in the real reason school girls are either coerced into wearing these skimpy things, or encouraged to, and why short skirts became a welcoming "God send" to young women?
I think those of us who claim to serve God, but have "good reasons" for wanting to wear short skirts, ought to give this serious thought.
We know James 4:4 was not written for us to overlook.

I think my views align with the western culture/society I reside in. If I was a Muslim, then perhaps my views would be different but I’m not a Muslim. Therefore, I don’t feel the need to cover myself from head to toe in an attempt to stop men from looking at me. I feel that men should also have some self-control.

Are you saying that this is a matter of asking worldly people - worldly people, to have self control?
Isn't the Christian Greek scriptures full of letters, containing admonition for Christian men and women - Christians, on how to conduct themselves.
Aren't Christians the ones who need self control -even in areas that we may find hard to let go?

For example, we may like watching certain movies, but then we learn that Christians need to be careful of what they watch, so as not to be disapproved by God, or stumble onlookers.

Would we watch a movie laced with profanities, either in the privacy of our home, or in public?
What message are we sending to our neighbor, and to God?
It requires self control, doesn't it, to, for some turn off the movie, even though they want to see the conclusion, because the picture is "so good"

Likewise, perhaps I should ask... Might you need to exercise a bit of self control, for the reasons mentioned in the scriptures?
Romans 15:2, 3; 1 Corinthians 10:24, 32, 33; 2 Corinthians 6:3; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Timothy 2:9, 10

If a fellow Christian is stumbled, would it matter to you? Would you be in any way bothered?
Would you have the attitude - 'Well they need to get their thinking straight, 'cause right now they have a sort of perverted outlook"?
Or could you exercise self control, and not insist you want to feel the wind blowing up your legs?

When I think about what I’m going to wear for the day, I do actually consider the impression I might be putting across to others. If a top is too low-cut, I won’t wear it. If a dress is too short, I won’t wear it.

That's good to hear.

However, like I said, some men simply can’t control themselves and like to ogle women even if the woman is not dressed with the intention to attract attention.

They exist, Sunflower. We cannot stop them from existing.
Do you care about them? Do you want to help them?

I have received unwanted attention and my intention has definitely not been to attract any attention. I am a happily married woman with children. I was even whistled at when I was 8 months pregnant, obvious baby bump on show. Is this acceptable? Should I wear loose fitting garments, covered from head to toe to avoid this?

Can I ask....
Were you wearing a maternity dress with the hemline above your knees?
What do you think they were whistling about... Surely not your baby bump?

Food for thought.
"Many women do not even seem to reali[z]e the extent to which their clothing is sending certain messages. A lot of this comes down to the way men and women are wired."

Please give it some consideration. I know, women (some men as well) can get quite emotional when it come to something they feel stongly about, but the Christian way requires we think of ourselves as lesser ones - be lowly in mind, while considering others superior to us. Philippians 2:3
That's being Christ-like.

That's not easy either. It calls for self control.
However, we just need one thing, to get that quality - Galatians 5:22, 23

 

[CoreyD]

You make good points.

Thanks. That's only because I am stating only the facts, and you recognize them as facts... which I appreciate.
That's mighty honest of you.
Some people ignore facts to insist on their point. The opposite of being humble.

Sure, Jenny might be in danger when out in the world, if she's very different from the others. Sure, they're going to heap abuse on her, and even accuse her of motives she doesn't actually have. "You're so self-righteous, Miss High and Mighty, you think you're better than the rest of us," etc. Sure, in extreme cases, even her life might be threatened.

I haven't experienced this.
I think you may be describing a Jenny that keeps company with the wrong crowd, or goes around places and people, without any useful purpose.
The Jenny that dresses modestly, is respected wherever she goes - even in rough neighbourhoods, and she doesn't keep company with girls who are looking for "cat fights"

Jenny is busy in Christian activities, spending time with family and Christian associates, and work.
The people who see Jenny, knows what she is about, and recognizes her for what she is - a minister of God.
Her dress and conduct recommends her as such.
That's what I have seen.

But isn't that true of Christians all over?

Have you actually witnessed a Christian get this abuse?
Was it from those in the church, or people on the street?

We're not as likely to be outright persectued in this country. At most we are likely to be mocked, whereas persecution is when someone can be arrested, jailed, and/or executed for being a Christian. We do, however, face that mocking from the world.

Interesting, you shold say that.
Are you perhaps describing what Peter said, at 1 Peter 2:2?

I've got you on the "Eww, I don't want to dress like a grandma" attitude. I've seen some beautiful long dresses in my lifetime. And what's so bad about being a grandma, anyway? Don't most people love their grandmas?

You know what God dressed Adam and Eve with, instead of the skimpy outfits they made, right?

 

[Paidiske]

And what's so bad about being a grandma, anyway? Don't most people love their grandmas?

There are grandmas and grandmas... I think what most people would mean by that is that they don't want to look tired, grey and frumpy. Maybe it's not fair to most grandmas that that's the stereotype of them.

As to the rest, I don't know. I remember going to a (secular) job interview once in what I thought was a fairly standard interview outfit; suit (trousers and jacket) with a formal, quite high-necked, blouse. The recruiter told me she thought I was maybe unsuitable for the role because "you're obviously very conservative." I'm not sure, to this day, whether a different choice of blouse might have given an impression of being less "conservative." But I agree that sometimes the most modest option isn't always going to get the best response from those around us, depending on the situation.

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

LOL I wasn’t asking for you to approve my attire. Im just trying to gain an understanding of what you consider to be provocative.

I agree with you. Some of the stuff women wear is deliberately provocative and very obviously for attention but I think it’s also up to the men to control themselves.

Very true..it is biblical doctrine for men to have control over lust. Matthew 5:27-28.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I enjoy the number of women here explaining their thoughts and rationale, and the number of men here telling them that isn’t their rationale and explaining what they think it is.

Also find it very interesting that there are people who say dress leads to uncontrollable impure thoughts, then ask the female posters to describe the clothing they are wearing, pick from pictures what the length is, and then weigh out its appropriateness based on how tempting they find it, down to describing their legs as they sit at church.