Can you marry a divorced woman?

[eleos1954]

People are going to have problems in the flesh, in this life, but they can still saved.

Matthew 21:32 Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

Didn't say they couldn't

 

[Diamond7]

repentance is the only way for anyone to enter

Not very many people talk about that today. Paul's use of the word: MANY should be a wake-up call.

1 Corinthians 11:30
That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Not very many people talk about that today. Paul's use of the word: MANY should be a wake-up call.

1 Corinthians 11:30
That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep.

You might need to read the context of that verse to see the actual reason why many in the Corinthian church were weak and sick and a number had died prematurely. The trouble is that some take a random verse like this out of context and apply to all Christians in general.

Just a note about those who get off on Bible bashing divorced and remarried believers. These are ones who don't think they are sinful and that their feces don't stink. The rest of us who know we are always struggling and battling against our flesh tend to exercise more grace on others who we see are struggling with issues of life which they may or may not have chosen for themselves.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I have known a lot of people who have lost their firstborn child. After my divorce, even before I became a Christian I wanted to know what the Bible says about divorce. I wanted to know what everyone said from every perspective possible. I think the statistics are important. People who have sex partners before marriage have a 50% divorce rate compared to 20% rate for people who do not have multiple sex before marriage. In the same way divorce people have a high divorce rate. You have movie stars that have up to 12 marriages. The rabbi says that there is a difference between sex and intimacy. Sex drives people apart intimacy brings them together.

As others have mentioned, it is very hard not to marry the same type of person. So chances are high that you will end up with the same results. It does seem to work out for some people. At least they claim it does. Paul tells us that 1 Corinthians 7:28 "But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."

We are told in Genesis 5:2 "He created them male and female". Why did God make us male and female? It appears so we can be joined back together with Him. I would pray and tell God to slam the door shut if it was not His plan and purpose for me and my life. A lot of times that is exactly what He does. If we pray and ask Him to guide us and lead us in the way He wants us to go. He will find a way to stop a marriage that does not have His approval. IF we ask.

 

[Diamond7]

Just a note about those who get off on Bible bashing divorced and remarried believers.

I am divorced and remarried. Do you think I am bashing myself? God hates divorce. Jesus went to Calvery to unite us not divide us.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I know this divorced woman. It's not that I know we will get together, but I don't know the reason for her divorce. It just seems wrong to try to figure out if she is "marriageable". The whole idea of digging into her past life feels both disrespectful and selfish to me.

I'm divorced and remarried. You DO, if you're feeling serious about a person need to find out the reasons behind her divorce - it's not digging into her past it's simply finding out a few facts. If a woman has issues with the concern she's probably not someone you'd want to marry.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

I second sandman's post - post #3 in this thread

 

[zoidar]

I'm divorced and remarried. You DO, if you're feeling serious about a person need to find out the reasons behind her divorce - it's not digging into her past it's simply finding out a few facts. If a woman has issues with the concern she's probably not someone you'd want to marry.

It can be rather loaded question. Of course you will find out sooner or later. It just sounds like a bad start to bring up why she was divorced when you start seeing someone. And if you find out she was divorced for the wrong reasons it's like "bye-bye, I'm no longer interested". Are you to tell her: "Sorry, your divorce was not biblically right. I love you but can't see you no more." Maybe they just didn't get along, but that is no reason enough. She might have been very young when they married, and looked for the wrong things in a partner. I don't know.

 

[Sky32]

I always interpreted the Bible as saying that it is okay as long as the ex-husband committed adultery while married. But surely God does not want divorcees to be single and unhappy if they are called to marriage. Not everyone is called to be single for their whole lives.

Yes, I believe this is what the bible tells as well. And I completely agree with this sentiment. As long as your heart is in a good place

 

[TibiLy]

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

Matthew 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together,
let not man put asunder.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I am divorced and remarried. Do you think I am bashing myself? God hates divorce. Jesus went to Calvery to unite us not divide us.

So am I, so we're on the same page there.

 

[Hazelelponi]

It can be rather loaded question. Of course you will find out sooner or later. It just sounds like a bad start to bring up why she was divorced when you start seeing someone. And if you find out she was divorced for the wrong reasons it's like "bye-bye, I'm no longer interested". Are you to tell her: "Sorry, your divorce was not biblically right. I love you but can't see you no more." Maybe they just didn't get along, but that is no reason enough. She might have been very young when they married, and looked for the wrong things in a partner. I don't know.

While this might seem to be a touchy topic and the kind we would normally not endeavor to have with others; dating and, potentially marriage, is not a "normal" situation. It's not the same as sitting around the water cooler at work chatting, for instance.

Everyone, most especially those who have already had a failed marriage, know just how important it is to make the right choice in a spouse.

Also, it's not about being judgmental. It's about deciding on what kind of a person you want to bear and raise any future children you may have, as well as the person you're entire life will one day revolve around - an important and daunting task of choosing in which God has given us a few guidelines to follow which helps us make a better choice.

As far as the potential of having to say "I don't think you're divorce is biblically justifiable, in my current understanding of Scripture" You can certainly word it however you like, though I might rather say "the circumstances of the divorce aren't something I'm comfortable with as a Christian who is considering marriage to you" however, it's likely either way your beliefs will come to the table.

In which case, you have to determine how important your faith is to you. Standing before a broken world it we aren't going to be everyone's friend, especially when we declare our beliefs... And do you really want to marry someone who you feel you can't stand up for your beliefs in front of?

It's Christianity in action my friend. Sometimes it's time to stand on your faith in front of very real people face to face. Be kind and full of grace, but be true to God.

As for timing, sooner is always better than later. Otherwise you're just potentially wasting both your time and her's.

P.S. - I TRULY BELIEVE - what occurred before she was saved I believe should be forgiven as God forgave us.

 

[eleos1954]

The tax collectors and prostitutes were entering in because they repented?

Forgiveness comes through repentance.

 

[zoidar]

While this might seem to be a touchy topic and the kind we would normally not endeavor to have with others; dating and, potentially marriage, is not a "normal" situation. It's not the same as sitting around the water cooler at work chatting, for instance.

Everyone, most especially those who have already had a failed marriage, know just how important it is to make the right choice in a spouse.

Also, it's not about being judgmental. It's about deciding on what kind of a person you want to bear and raise any future children you may have, as well as the person you're entire life will one day revolve around - an important and daunting task of choosing in which God has given us a few guidelines to follow which helps us make a better choice.

As far as the potential of having to say "I don't think you're divorce is biblically justifiable, in my current understanding of Scripture" You can certainly word it however you like, though I might rather say "the circumstances of the divorce aren't something I'm comfortable with as a Christian who is considering marriage to you" however, it's likely either way your beliefs will come to the table.

In which case, you have to determine how important your faith is to you. Standing before a broken world it we aren't going to be everyone's friend, especially when we declare our beliefs... And do you really want to marry someone who you feel you can't stand up for your beliefs in front of?

It's Christianity in action my friend. Sometimes it's time to stand on your faith in front of very real people face to face. Be kind and full of grace, but be true to God.

As for timing, sooner is always better than later. Otherwise you're just potentially wasting both your time and her's.

P.S. - I TRULY BELIEVE - what occurred before she was saved I believe should be forgiven as God forgave us.

Thank you for your thoughts and advice! Christ love!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Forgiveness comes through repentance.

How do you define repentance?

If you are using the word repentance in context with divorce and remarriage, how then can a divorced person repent if there is no possibility of reconciliation? And, if the divorced person has confessed their part in the divorce and received forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness, then who are we to judge that person, seeing that once forgiven and cleansed, God puts the sin into the deepest sea of HIs forgetfulness. Therefore, one who judges a person concerning sins that have been forgiven and forgotten by God, could be sinning themselves by muck raking in areas where they have no mandate.

Perhaps if the person has confessed fault in the divorce and has been totally forgiven and God has buried the sin and no longer remembers it, then should we then refer to a divorced person as being divorced? Or should we acknowledge that because God has forgotten all about, so should we forget that the person was ever divorced?

The judgmental persons rendering of 1 John 1:9 is: "If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness as long as we eradicate all sin from our lives and achieve perfect sinlessness by following the directions of those who believe they can judge us concerning the way we decide to live."

 

[LW97Nils]

If the marriage she had been in before was not a covenant marriage, then yes. My mother had been married to a divorced man, later the marriage ended. When she married the man that would turn out to be my father, that was her first covenant marriage (a marriage to a non-divorced person).

 

[returnn23]

There are some really bad answers here. Talk to your priest or pastor. Marriage is a Sacrament instituted by God. It should not be taken lightly or without knowledge.

For those who think they shouldn't ask the potential wife about her past before the ceremony, why not? Those things usually come out. And you would do well to find out before the ceremony. Again, a priest or pastor would be the best person to assist you.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

Whoever therefore breaks one of these least commandments and teaches others to break them, will be called the least in the Kingdom of the Heavens Matthew 5:19 What we tell others is very important. It is important to read what Jesus said in the red letters. Esp we should read and study the sermon on the mount if we do nothing else.

Actually, all Scripture is useful (2 Timothy 3:16), not just the portions that are printed in red ink.

 

[ZephBonkerer]

I've done a great deal of research on this matter, largely due to the demise of my own marriage. This is what I came to:

There is no sin in getting married if you are unmarried for any reason, regardless of any prior marital status. 1 Corinthians 7:28 (also verse 9).

It is not adultery to marry a divorced person per se. If it were, it would not have been lawful even in the days of Moses. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

The tenets of basic morality did not change when Jesus came to Earth. (Matthew 5:17-18). For this reason, if it was adultery then, it's adultery today. If it was not adultery then, it cannot be adultery today.

When Jesus spoke of divorce in Matthew 5:32 and 19:6-9, He wasn't condemning divorce and remarriage per se. Instead He was condemning the kind of thing where a man would dump a faithful wife just so he could pursue a relationship with some OnlyFans model. Or where a man would conspire to break up a union just to claim the newly divorced woman. This clearly does not apply to someone who got a divorce for serious reasons. (And yes, there are serious reasons for divorce other than adultery and abandonment by an unbeliever.)

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Whoever therefore breaks one of these least commandments and teaches others to break them, will be called the least in the Kingdom of the Heavens Matthew 5:19 What we tell others is very important. It is important to read what Jesus said in the red letters. Esp we should read and study the sermon on the mount if we do nothing else.

The context of this verse was not divorce and remarriage. It was about the Law and the Prophets. Even if one followed the Law and Prophets blamelessly (such as Paul when he was a Pharisee) if wasn't enough, because Jesus said that if one didn't exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees (the most strict observance to the Law) one didn't enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore it wasn't to do with the righteousness of the Law, but the righteousness of God given as a free gift through faith in the finished work of Jesus. Therefore quoting this verse in relation to divorce and remarriage to imply that a person who is divorced and remarried will be least in the kingdom of heaven to misusing God's Word and applying it out of its context to force an opinion that is not supported by Scripture.