- Oct 16, 2021
- 24
- 75
- 55
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Calvary Chapel
- Marital Status
- Married
I need advice for my relationship with my stepson. I got married four years ago for the second time at 48. Both my husband's and my kids are grown up. My daughter is married, my son lived with us for a little while, but then he went away to live with his college friends, especially because of my stepson. My husband's daughter has a scholarship in a very far college, while my stepson has recently graduated and found a quite decent job.
He is a very intelligent boy and at the beginning he seemed happy for my presence. At the beginning we prayed all together in the evening, all four of us, and I felt I was in heaven. Then my stepson did not pray anymore. He stayed silent. We shared our prayer intentions, and he stayed silent. He said that stating openly prayer intentions was "stupid". Then he started not eating with us. He stared blankly at what I cooked, and sat there without eating. He said it was "nasty". I am not the best cook in the world, but I raised two kids and I always cooked for them. My son decided to go away in a matter of days. I don't know what happened, but they shared a bedroom,and I can only imagine that it was not pleasant for my son. Then he started mistreating my cats. I have three old cats and they are part of my heart. He was very violent with them once. I could not stand it. He yelled at me so violently once that if I think about it I am still scared.
He has no friends. He spends large part of the night playing war videogames. He does not contribute in any possible form. I work and I pay basically for everything, my husband is on disability because he is sick and he pays the mortgage, I pay all the rest. He pays nothing. Zero. He is currently volunteering in the church, because he wants the daughter of the senior pastor to become his girlfriend. I pray she will never do it.
His room is a nightmare. I have to collect his stuff from the floor and piles of garbage. He seems not to care. I clean his room and I do his laundry because no human being should live in that way. But I cannot deny I resent him for that. Especially because when I need something, a lift or whatever, he is never available, he pretends he forgets, or if he does it, he yells at me in the car and manages to make me late.
The problem is that it is starting to affect my relationship with my husband. I realize that I am scared to face my stepson, so I lash my frustrations to my husband and he does not deserve it. He is a good man with a heart for the Lord.
I am scared that if I face my stepson directly, he will go away and my husband will resent me for that.
My stepson says he loves his father: but he does absolutely nothing for him.
Please help me, I am at a loss. What should I do? I am at my wits end.
Forgive me for the rant.
He is a very intelligent boy and at the beginning he seemed happy for my presence. At the beginning we prayed all together in the evening, all four of us, and I felt I was in heaven. Then my stepson did not pray anymore. He stayed silent. We shared our prayer intentions, and he stayed silent. He said that stating openly prayer intentions was "stupid". Then he started not eating with us. He stared blankly at what I cooked, and sat there without eating. He said it was "nasty". I am not the best cook in the world, but I raised two kids and I always cooked for them. My son decided to go away in a matter of days. I don't know what happened, but they shared a bedroom,and I can only imagine that it was not pleasant for my son. Then he started mistreating my cats. I have three old cats and they are part of my heart. He was very violent with them once. I could not stand it. He yelled at me so violently once that if I think about it I am still scared.
He has no friends. He spends large part of the night playing war videogames. He does not contribute in any possible form. I work and I pay basically for everything, my husband is on disability because he is sick and he pays the mortgage, I pay all the rest. He pays nothing. Zero. He is currently volunteering in the church, because he wants the daughter of the senior pastor to become his girlfriend. I pray she will never do it.
His room is a nightmare. I have to collect his stuff from the floor and piles of garbage. He seems not to care. I clean his room and I do his laundry because no human being should live in that way. But I cannot deny I resent him for that. Especially because when I need something, a lift or whatever, he is never available, he pretends he forgets, or if he does it, he yells at me in the car and manages to make me late.
The problem is that it is starting to affect my relationship with my husband. I realize that I am scared to face my stepson, so I lash my frustrations to my husband and he does not deserve it. He is a good man with a heart for the Lord.
I am scared that if I face my stepson directly, he will go away and my husband will resent me for that.
My stepson says he loves his father: but he does absolutely nothing for him.
Please help me, I am at a loss. What should I do? I am at my wits end.
Forgive me for the rant.