What's on your mind?

[bèlla]

What can we do about homelessness? I want to help more.

Have you worked with ministries serving the homeless?

 

[VanillaLion]

@bèlla No I haven't found any. I would like to though.

 

[bèlla]

@bèlla No I haven't found any. I would like to though.

Are you looking locally? Did you contact a church? They usually have some they work with or host their own.

 

[VanillaLion]

@bèlla Yes I am looking locally. No I haven't contacted a church.

 

[VanillaLion]

 

[VanillaLion]

 

[bèlla]

@bèlla Yes I am looking locally. No I haven't contacted a church.

Try the church. Tell them you'd like to work with the homeless. They'll know where to point you.

 

[VanillaLion]

@bèlla Thank you!

 

[DragonFox91]

Of all the people my age who married in early 20s, I still don't know one couple that divorced.

 

[Tone]

Romans 13:14

But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

 

[TheWhat?]

Doxxing, Judas and the depths to which some people are willing to go to harm another. It's always better to rely on God.

 

[bèlla]

Doxxing, Judas and the depths to which some people are willing to go to harm another. It's always better to rely on God.

I learned about doxxing here. I can't wrap my mind around it.

All I want is a plot of land. Far away from most!

 

[TheWhat?]

And to think, as imperfect as all of Jesus' followers were from Peter to Mary Magdalene, who some say was a prostitute, Judas was the only one that was lost. I don't understand why modern christians have a hard time understanding this.

 

[Vinter]

Of all the people my age who married in early 20s, I still don't know one couple that divorced.

How many couples? 10? 20? 50?

 

[sampa]

More great information and good feedback.

He may regret his choice. When a man loses a prize he never forgets.

Thank you! That is exactly what one of my mentors said. I appreciate the compliment, since you don't know me as well as those off of CF. Also in a psychology form last year, they said it sounded like I probably won't be someone he forgets. Most likely the reason he was orbiting me for some time, liking any picture of me or gardening. And even if it wasn't his subconscious that made him do the things that were connected to me, I gave him ideas and those were things that he was able to use. Now he has no access to my ideas. I tend to think it's the former, a bit of respect and admiration, even though I didn't fit what he was looking for.

My aunt warned me about that last year. She said be leery of men who'll make you their retirement plan. Their circumstances are not what they present. They're looking for you to make up the difference

Yes, I agree. That's one of the things I've been very careful about with online dating. He was shocked and surprised when I said I was renting. I didn't give him my full financial background as a precaution. He definitely did encourage work though and seemed excited when I was doing hybrid back in the office and on the road work.

You may think you have little to offer. But they don't have a 401K or anything else. And their credit is usually shot.

Yes, very true. Being that he was his own business owner and owned three houses. He really dressed up those houses, but he bought them for dirt cheap. Just like through social media when he bought his vintage boat, someone said it's too bad that you can't afford a real one. That was coming from someone really close to him. He told me he just had a few debts to pay off but was in good shape even after the divorce.

Believe what people do not what they say. I've seen men preach the 'simple life' but they're hitting on me. Others downplay their want for luxury but their content reveals the truth.

Yes, you're right. That's why I was more prudent timewise with how close we got to each other. And I told him it would be 8 dates before I would be ready to be comfortable hanging out at his house.

Men always try to level up. That's not the same as trading up. They try to get better than the norm. Norm meaning what's accessible to them

Yes, I can understand that. The girlfriend he got was definitely a trade up and looks. It is interesting the coworker and friend that told me how eerie it is that we look the same. She's right, both the smile, our eyes and sort of a kindness are similar but she is the next level up in her style, connections and money. I'm not sure about the spiritual, it doesn't seem to be prominent. The moral character is probably a step down for him. But I wouldn't be surprised if he throws the religion in and she adapts to it, since that town is known for its University that is a certain religion that he was part of before. And his mom is supposed to be a strong Christian. His sister was upset that he was the one to lead his dad to Christ, since he doesn't live the normal Christian Life.

He lives above his means and is probably cash strapped. That's why I suggest looking at social media for greater insight on a person's character

yes social media was a very good gauge and I might use it in the future. But I have learned that early on I will have a discussion with a possible suitor that if things don't work out that we will take a break from each other. I held on for the ride, it was emotionally rough, but I felt worth it to get some answers. And I got quite a few.

D wore bespoke suits. His tailor lives in Hong Kong. I can't recall the cost. He'd tell me his tailor was in town and ask for suggestions. We discussed money in relation to earnings, goals, etc. But I couldn't tell you what he spends on his shoes and so on. It never came u

Sounds like a great guy. The guy that I was dating last spring was not at that level, but he told me money was not a problem. I just didn't like how his attitude changed after he was going to pay for my rental car.. it felt like he had power over me. But yes I will be leary in the future if I ever hear a guy tell me the price of every fancy piece of clothing or cars that he drives. Thanks for sharing that.

I've always felt the lapses were excavations. He kept the door open

I think this is a good possibility. Again I won't know these answers till I get to heaven. I just spiritually have always felt there was something very dark about him. Something hidden.

There's a show on Netflix that you should watch if you can. It provides a lot of insight on people who serve the wealthy. The attitudes and behaviors they adopt are telling.

I will have to take a look at this. There's a couple other movies that I would like to watch... But I will have to wait to make sure that I have enough data. One of them I think is called born rich. When I did 10 days of listening to God, starting when he was on vacation, there was something that led me later on to the movie gray Gardens. It was very revealing about wealth being squandered. Very sad movie. I watched the version with Drew Barrymore. I also never thought I would watch something like this, but I started after the breakup watching gossip girl for the first time, I checked out DVDs from the library. But I got so tired of it and stopped. I was seeking so many answers those first few months.

People who want to be important always choose a companion who supports that aim. They work together.

I agree. And if God has meant it for me to be with someone like that, I know He will lead me in that direction. I do feel that yard work will be an important thing that I will share with my future mate. As this is definitely something I will have to do more of when the time comes to take care of my parents. So there are certain things that he will need to know, and I don't expect myself to be living in the city.

Better clubs start at $5K or more and getting in requires recommendations/sponsorship from current members.

Yes, I imagine. That was one of the price ranges of this creative club. And I think it was three members or sponsorship or something. It's supposed to be a non-pretentious place and earthy down to earth vibe. I believe Harry styles is part of this club. I think he might have shown me a picture of seeing him while he was there.

Be careful of that. They flash a lot in the beginning and you learn the truth later on. That's the bait and hook

yes I was very careful. Within the first few days he was offering to buy things for me that I wanted by text. I was very alarmed and didn't understand why he was doing that. And I felt those were things for a deeper relationship and down the road if he's so desired. But not in the beginning stages. So I turned down his offers. That's why I felt the sunflower was appropriate when he showed up for the first date. And for our picnic he brought olives from whole foods and his range Rover wicker basket along with sparkling water. Those things impress me more than spending a bunch of money on clothes that I wanted. And it doesn't make me feel like someone is buying me. At least when we are just getting to know each other.

When the check arrived he pulled out his wallet and slipped the card in. He paid with Amex Black. He handed the check to the server and his eyes met mine. That was his way of communicating his provision. I

I like this. Sounds very nice and not making a big show of things but letting you know that money is not a problem.

As long as you're interacting with suitors who have potential keep going.

I totally agree and I have been encouraged in the Lord as there has been more interactions and more suitors than in the past.

Good girls are hard to find. Every one wants her. Keep your sweetness and positive outlook. That's your calling card.

I so appreciate the compliment. May the Lord bless you as you continue to encourage others in their faith, walk and acting as a sounding board.

 

[sampa]

So yesterday I decided to do something different... Changed my hairstyle. Inspired by The tick tock debate about the middle part. I asked my stylist if she had any ideas for something new and different. So it's interesting and we will see how well this goes for the next 8 weeks. She was shocked when I told her my age and that the new cut makes me look younger .. it's going to take some getting used to. Of course my friends approved of it.

On another positive note, my stylist was telling me this would be the last cut from her. She had a job lined up, even signed paperwork, and for some reason they called her and told her that they gave the job to somebody internally. Now she is without a job and won't be able to go back... She'll probably fight it. But in the meantime she has an Instagram page.. and I told her it would be nice to hear about life after Aveda. And she probably has clients that will be curious. She plans to do painting and updates to her house. She repeatedly thanked me for the idea and said that she will most likely use it.

 

[bèlla]

Thank you! That is exactly what one of my mentors said. I appreciate the compliment, since you don't know me as well as those off of CF.

I've lived it firsthand. Time and maturity alters perspectives. Hindsight allows you to see at a distance what you missed up close.

Also in a psychology form last year, they said it sounded like I probably won't be someone he forgets. Most likely the reason he was orbiting me for some time, liking any picture of me or gardening.

Sometimes you have to take a hit. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt. He probably knows you're the better fit. But he has to swallow it.

Yes, I agree. That's one of the things I've been very careful about with online dating. He was shocked and surprised when I said I was renting. I didn't give him my full financial background as a precaution.

Keep it close to your chest until they've proven themselves and done the same. When he's serious the money talk happens. He'll share his plans to move the relationship forward and address expenses. There should be a clear understanding of what life with him entails. If you're 50/50, he's the primary breadwinner, etc. You shouldn't be in the dark.

Yes, very true. Being that he was his own business owner and owned three houses. He really dressed up those houses, but he bought them for dirt cheap. Just like through social media when he bought his vintage boat, someone said it's too bad that you can't afford a real one. That was coming from someone really close to him. He told me he just had a few debts to pay off but was in good shape even after the divorce.

That's the downside of money circles. If you don't have the resources you can feel like the odd one out. He'd probably be more content if he had normal connections.

Yes, you're right. That's why I was more prudent timewise with how close we got to each other. And I told him it would be 8 dates before I would be ready to be comfortable hanging out at his house.

I have to see them in the wild before taking that step. If we don't live in the same place that includes a getaway with separate accommodations. I want to see how he behaves in that setting.

But I have learned that early on I will have a discussion with a possible suitor that if things don't work out that we will take a break from each other.

Time apart is good unless the parting was mutual.

Sounds like a great guy. The guy that I was dating last spring was not at that level, but he told me money was not a problem. I just didn't like how his attitude changed after he was going to pay for my rental car.. it felt like he had power over me.

Good catch. You're looking for pride (good feeling), protectiveness, and control. If he's holding the purse you need to gauge his attitude. Some are benevolent and some misers. When you speak of power that's often the belief you need them or wouldn't be where you are without them. I would never be wholly dependent. I like having my own money.

I will have to take a look at this. There's a couple other movies that I would like to watch... But I will have to wait to make sure that I have enough data. One of them I think is called born rich.

You may be able to find it on YouTube. He interviewed heirs and heiresses. The fallout was huge. You don't discuss money. Let alone on camera.

but I started after the breakup watching gossip girl for the first time, I checked out DVDs from the library. But I got so tired of it and stopped. I was seeking so many answers those first few months.

Gossip Girl is a different animal. That's the prep school set.

yes I was very careful. Within the first few days he was offering to buy things for me that I wanted by text. I was very alarmed and didn't understand why he was doing that. And I felt those were things for a deeper relationship and down the road if he's so desired.

Sometimes its a test to see if you're after their resources. And sometimes its genuine. Some men love to spoil their women. They can afford it and it brings them joy.

Those things impress me more than spending a bunch of money on clothes that I wanted. And it doesn't make me feel like someone is buying me. At least when we are just getting to know each other.

I consider his station in light of the request. It's relative. One man's idea of pampering is another one's norm. I allow for differences and make a judgment call. Clothing is an intimate purchase. We'd need to be in a serious relationship.

I so appreciate the compliment. May the Lord bless you as you continue to encourage others in their faith, walk and acting as a sounding board.

Thank you. Good luck on your search. I'm sure you'll find the right one in God's timing.

 

[GodDoesListen55]

The countdown is on, I can't wait, I'm so excited!

 

[Tone]

What number are we on...?

 

[bèlla]

I saw the person who harassed me the other day. He spent weeks raging because I wasn't interested. Watching the anger come forth was like seeing a volcano up close. Underneath the frustration and accusations was a lot of pain. He's still single and I'm not surprised.

Obsession doesn't beget love. It's possessive and covetous. The result of spiritual maladies. Spirits of rejection, obsessive and compulsive spirits, lust and spirits of fear. Being alone is their deepest agony. They cling like a koala bear climbing a tree. Digging their nails in and holding on tight. Suffocating the object of their desire.

Loving our neighbor isn't forceful. And obsession isn't a well of love. It's an empty tomb. They're famished and longing for love. Bombardment is their siren song.

Love me....Love me please.

I don't intend to talk to him. But I'll pray for the Lord's intervention and healing.