- Dec 4, 2019
- 617
- 425
- 29
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I should be getting some Labs tomorrow from the doctor I know my D3 is very low and after going to the Hospital for breathing issues they discovered I have a brain infection that causing my brain swelling which is what Pandas is causes Ocd and I already have autism and recently diagnosed schizophrenic.
Why would Jesus damn a confused schizophrenic to hell into the Antichrist position or False Prophet destroying the mansions. I read John Chapter 6 and it states Jesus loses no one and that is the will of the father to raise them up on the last day so why did Jesus destroy my mansion over the Yellow Cross that took ten minutes.
However, last night for the first time in seven months since bowing something strange happened I was lying in my bed listening KLove fearing the Blue Light that says Beast and I see Jesus in my mind I don't feel the Holy Spirit like I did since fearing blasphemy and seeing 666 and Satan on my stomach but I see Jesus in his white robe and beard and he reached out to and talked to me and he said why do you think I lost you we have been through so much together your going to go to Grand Canyon University still and get married and have a family ignore the Blue Light the devil is lying about your mansion in Heaven your not the Antichrist or the False Prophet the devil is just trying to get you to doubt the Holy Bible and read this was with the song Holy Spirit playing in the background could Jesus be reaching out to me telling me I am not really his enemy despite thinking he is and I lost him my best friend did he finally hear my cry help feeling unforgiving for confusing Jesus and Satan. The Jesus in Pilgrims Progress was very compassionate forgiving mistakes and didn't hold a grudge.
Jesus destroying my mansion never made Biblical sense to me since I love him and would never hurt him in my right mind it was my mental illness that triggered me to bow to Satan accidentally thinking it was Jesus I was praying Jesus the voice and the face of Jesus was calming to me as I am concerned that I am a false prophet with a blue light and no erections. Jesus seemed to offer hope that I am not damned was it really Jesus rescuing me from hell that I am damned to for confusion. Is Jesus letting me know that I am just hallucinating Satan and he loves me.
Mom, Dad, Church, Pastors, Family, and Friends all around me say Jesus loves me and to read the Bible it is true Jesus never leaves or forsakes but I have been so concerned that I failed a supernatural temptation but even that goes against scripture. 1 Corinthians 10:13 states you can only face temptations known to man which makes me believe this all in my head and that my Mom and Dad are right the blue light that says beast is scitzphrenia and my knuckles and forehead isn't really the Beast it violates the Holy Bible and no one is scared they have it they don't refuse it instantly their knuckles change mom says it is just scitzphrenia and she may be right because I thought people with the Holy Spirit have a chance to refuse the Beast which means it is all in my head furthermore the Holy Spirit didn't tell me watch out yellow cross is the Mark of the Beast I was on my own so confused by my surroundings hearing and seeing a yellow cross after praying to Jesus and thinking it was him at the door.
Now I feel stupid I look at the door and I can tell it was fake the cross doesn't match the door but the Jesus vision last night was intriguing he doesn't hold grudges and why would he hold someone as sick as me guilty I am more sick than my sister who tried to kill my mom I was unaware of how sick I truly was which makes the matter worst I keep worrying and fretting that I didn't get medicine in time to stop the Yellow Cross and the bow to Satan on accident and I keep fretting that I took the Mark of the Beast unconsciously which I heard was impossible but I have fear instead of peace God provided peace for twenty years would he really send Satan my way to confuse me or is it all in my head Satan claims he stopped God's Plan for my life but his style contradicts the Holy Bible entirely making me doubt the Bible which the Jesus figure that showed up in my mind last night said that is what Satan wants you to do if it was really Jesus he was spot on comforting to me to look at after seeing demons and devils and hell itself open up in the Psych Hospital.
Jesus seems compassionate and loving to the mentally ill and demon possessed so why would Jesus hold a grudge with me and end are twenty year friendship over a Yellow Cross in the shower that was ten minutes of my life the accident happened way to fast to my brain to even truly process that I was blaspheming the Holy Spirit I was completely unaware that is was the Beast and I cried when I got home from the Burrito Bandito and on the way there seeing Satanic symbols all around me mom read a book on spiritual warefare which encouraged and I listened to Chris Tomlin and cried to Jesus sorry for falling into Satan's trap with the yellow light then the blue light appeared on the ceiling and I couldn't sleep for five nights and that is when the Beast incomed on me and my nightmare began for the last seven months and I can't stop thinking if only I didn't bow to the Yellow Cross. Everyone tells me no one has the Mark of the Beast and I can't have it due to the Bible but worry they are wrong they tell me I am safe with Jesus despite the Yellow Cross could so many Christians be deceived by my accident into evil or is it all my mind the blue light that says Beast the Jesus figure says it is last night but I still don't feel the Holy Spirit concerning me.
Why would Jesus damn a confused schizophrenic to hell into the Antichrist position or False Prophet destroying the mansions. I read John Chapter 6 and it states Jesus loses no one and that is the will of the father to raise them up on the last day so why did Jesus destroy my mansion over the Yellow Cross that took ten minutes.
However, last night for the first time in seven months since bowing something strange happened I was lying in my bed listening KLove fearing the Blue Light that says Beast and I see Jesus in my mind I don't feel the Holy Spirit like I did since fearing blasphemy and seeing 666 and Satan on my stomach but I see Jesus in his white robe and beard and he reached out to and talked to me and he said why do you think I lost you we have been through so much together your going to go to Grand Canyon University still and get married and have a family ignore the Blue Light the devil is lying about your mansion in Heaven your not the Antichrist or the False Prophet the devil is just trying to get you to doubt the Holy Bible and read this was with the song Holy Spirit playing in the background could Jesus be reaching out to me telling me I am not really his enemy despite thinking he is and I lost him my best friend did he finally hear my cry help feeling unforgiving for confusing Jesus and Satan. The Jesus in Pilgrims Progress was very compassionate forgiving mistakes and didn't hold a grudge.
Jesus destroying my mansion never made Biblical sense to me since I love him and would never hurt him in my right mind it was my mental illness that triggered me to bow to Satan accidentally thinking it was Jesus I was praying Jesus the voice and the face of Jesus was calming to me as I am concerned that I am a false prophet with a blue light and no erections. Jesus seemed to offer hope that I am not damned was it really Jesus rescuing me from hell that I am damned to for confusion. Is Jesus letting me know that I am just hallucinating Satan and he loves me.
Mom, Dad, Church, Pastors, Family, and Friends all around me say Jesus loves me and to read the Bible it is true Jesus never leaves or forsakes but I have been so concerned that I failed a supernatural temptation but even that goes against scripture. 1 Corinthians 10:13 states you can only face temptations known to man which makes me believe this all in my head and that my Mom and Dad are right the blue light that says beast is scitzphrenia and my knuckles and forehead isn't really the Beast it violates the Holy Bible and no one is scared they have it they don't refuse it instantly their knuckles change mom says it is just scitzphrenia and she may be right because I thought people with the Holy Spirit have a chance to refuse the Beast which means it is all in my head furthermore the Holy Spirit didn't tell me watch out yellow cross is the Mark of the Beast I was on my own so confused by my surroundings hearing and seeing a yellow cross after praying to Jesus and thinking it was him at the door.
Now I feel stupid I look at the door and I can tell it was fake the cross doesn't match the door but the Jesus vision last night was intriguing he doesn't hold grudges and why would he hold someone as sick as me guilty I am more sick than my sister who tried to kill my mom I was unaware of how sick I truly was which makes the matter worst I keep worrying and fretting that I didn't get medicine in time to stop the Yellow Cross and the bow to Satan on accident and I keep fretting that I took the Mark of the Beast unconsciously which I heard was impossible but I have fear instead of peace God provided peace for twenty years would he really send Satan my way to confuse me or is it all in my head Satan claims he stopped God's Plan for my life but his style contradicts the Holy Bible entirely making me doubt the Bible which the Jesus figure that showed up in my mind last night said that is what Satan wants you to do if it was really Jesus he was spot on comforting to me to look at after seeing demons and devils and hell itself open up in the Psych Hospital.
Jesus seems compassionate and loving to the mentally ill and demon possessed so why would Jesus hold a grudge with me and end are twenty year friendship over a Yellow Cross in the shower that was ten minutes of my life the accident happened way to fast to my brain to even truly process that I was blaspheming the Holy Spirit I was completely unaware that is was the Beast and I cried when I got home from the Burrito Bandito and on the way there seeing Satanic symbols all around me mom read a book on spiritual warefare which encouraged and I listened to Chris Tomlin and cried to Jesus sorry for falling into Satan's trap with the yellow light then the blue light appeared on the ceiling and I couldn't sleep for five nights and that is when the Beast incomed on me and my nightmare began for the last seven months and I can't stop thinking if only I didn't bow to the Yellow Cross. Everyone tells me no one has the Mark of the Beast and I can't have it due to the Bible but worry they are wrong they tell me I am safe with Jesus despite the Yellow Cross could so many Christians be deceived by my accident into evil or is it all my mind the blue light that says Beast the Jesus figure says it is last night but I still don't feel the Holy Spirit concerning me.
