Hubby: Thanks. Our counselor suggested that we get a sampling of ten wives' responses. I am not in favor of "consensus" being our guide, as it will generally be skewed by sample size, biases, region, and so many other things, not to mention the fact that our American culture is a mess. Jesus is our straight measure, and we should both behave and forgive as He, as well as we can. I was surprised and felt completely ambushed by her answer to our counselor's question, "Can you give me an example of a recent conversation that felt demeaning/critical/harsh" with her response was the text at the beginning of this post. She had not mentioned this to me in the past and, in my mind, we had had a very nice month since the last session. I couldn't even think straight after she ambushed me like that. She had promised to never do that again, after it happened a while back, and it came out of no where again regarding such a tiny, off-the-cuff text. The really surprising part is that our counselor, who I like very much, agreed with her. I honestly don't have any idea what will set her off and I don't know that I can always sit down and plan every single word, text, email, facial expression, etc., look at it from every angle, get consensus, and ask my counselor, before I communicate with my wife. I am completely desperate for a way to speak with her on a daily basis without her losing it and/or waiting until we get to the counselor's office to accuse me of being harsh/critical/demeaning. I love my wife more than anything in the world. I just want some way to communicate that will not result in an argument, suspicion, a shut-down, or anything besides productive, kind, God-honoring communication. Thanks for your help and we very much desire your prayers.