Ok. I have started counseling after hitting an emotional low related to a health issue. Surgery has mostly corrected the issue and now I realized that I have no life. Prior to the surgery, it was only work and recover related to severe pain issues. My challenge this week is to form a bucket list. I realized that when my husband died, my bucket turned over. He was part of everything on my bucket list. Now, I am becoming an empty-nester alone and my bucket is empty. It is partially because I have been on survival mode for so long, often just trying to find the money and time to get through the next few weeks that I haven't had time to dream for a very long time. Part of it seems to be that I still really don't know how to do things alone, my kids have always been there (and still would be there if I asked), but it is time for me to learn to be alone and dream alone.
I have a small personal goal of going to a movie alone this week before I see the counselor again. I have a movie picked out. I don't know if the difficultly is more not wanting to spend the money or if it is really just doing this alone. The weather says rain tomorrow and the next day, so I am going to try to go to a matinee (easier to justify the expense at matinee rates).
Does anyone else have similar difficulties? Have you found a way to overcome them? I know when I do things, I often still quietly mourn the fact that my husband isn't there to enjoy them with me. I am not stuck in the past. He is gone and I am living my day to day life. But I still don't seem to have any great desires for things I want to do anymore. At 53, I still have a lot of years likely ahead of me.
I have a small personal goal of going to a movie alone this week before I see the counselor again. I have a movie picked out. I don't know if the difficultly is more not wanting to spend the money or if it is really just doing this alone. The weather says rain tomorrow and the next day, so I am going to try to go to a matinee (easier to justify the expense at matinee rates).
Does anyone else have similar difficulties? Have you found a way to overcome them? I know when I do things, I often still quietly mourn the fact that my husband isn't there to enjoy them with me. I am not stuck in the past. He is gone and I am living my day to day life. But I still don't seem to have any great desires for things I want to do anymore. At 53, I still have a lot of years likely ahead of me.