Same-Sex Attraction And The Church

[Introverted1293]

So, you admit that you have given in to sinful things. And there has not been only one problem with preferences, has there? The ones you have mentioned involve getting pleasure. So, I consider that people's real preference is for pleasure, and all that identity stuff is just a trick, then.

Our real identity is either we are children of Satan or we are children of God.

But if we are with Satan, we can be called sinners, and children of God can also be called saints or the elect.

But ones might say oh we all sin and you have named sin things. But the fact that I sin, alone, does not make sinner and child of Satan my identity.

If we have trusted in Jesus for salvation, we are children of God. But we are children who all need correction > as verse 8 says, in Hebrews 12:4-14. And God's correction succeeds against every sort of sin problem. But sin things are very stubborn, so set on getting the treasured pleasures of those sinful drives. And we humans on our own can not get rid of any sin problem. But with God it is possible >

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (in Luke 18:27)

Every one of us has problems which only God can correct. Only God is almighty against our sin problems. But Satan is stubborn and stupid; so for all our lives he will be allowed to keep bringing things back to us to try to get us under the power of pleasure seeking and greedy drives and desire for revenge against people who have kept us from feeling pleasures we have treasured.

So, just because a wrong feeling attacks and violates you, this does not make this thing your identity, and it does not mean it is you. But in case you can somehow give in to a wrong idea or feeling or drive, be encouraged that God is able to change our nature so such things can not get the better of us. So, any time you fail about anything, trust God to correct you and forgive you . . . not only forgive you!! And keep trusting Him to keep doing this, while He also changes us to be more like Jesus and how Jesus is pleasing to our Father and loves tenderly and can not give in to sin things.

And, again, as you get stronger against problems which have been obvious to you, now there will be other things to also notice, which might not have been so obvious, or Satan will try to bring new wrong things in hope that you won't know they are wrong.

But we can test by how God rules us in His peace. God can make us more and more able to know Him and His ruling in His own peace being shared with us, and we can simply refuse to go along with any attention-getters which are to elsewhere. In God's peace we do have feelings and enjoyments and emotions and relating > peaceful at least inside us. And we learn and grow to tell the difference > we are children who are growing and maturing in more and more of Jesus and all we can see the Bible means God desires to share with us.

So, thank you for sharing so personally. God bless you, howsoever He pleases. And live and feed on how we as God's children are first about loving one another and loving those who do not know how to love us. And be their best friend by being good example of how to be and how to love, so they can find out how to love. And do not look down on unloving people, but have compassion, and pray for me too to get more real about what I write!!!!

Thank you very much. God bless you too.

 

[Introverted1293]

I've always wondered about this statement I've heard from so many, that homosexuality is the sin the church hates the most. Says who? Pagans?

I do video editing as a hobby, and as a result, I watch usually 4 different sermons from different churches, and that doesn't include the 3 churches that I have personally attended. In all my years, I've heard maybe a dozen sermons that mentioned homosexuality, and maybe 1 sermon that was exclusively about homosexuality.

None suggested it was the most hated sin.

Now it is true that in the media, that you see preachers talking about homosexuality being a sin.

But that is not because it is the most hated sin. It's because in the media, people are constantly saying homosexuality is not a sin. If I was in the media, and people in the media were constantly saying adultery is not a sin... I would constantly be telling everyone that adultery, having sex with woman married to a different man, was a sin.

You would conclude that adultery is the most hated sin in the world, because I was constantly talking about it. No, it's because people kept saying it was fine to commit adultery, and I was correcting them.

The reason you don't see Christians in media saying Adultery is evil, as much as you see them saying homosexuality is evil, is because the pagans are not constantly saying Adultery is fine. If they were doing that, you would see Christians contradicting them all the time.

Now I don't know what your specific church teaches or preaches, so perhaps it is the most hated sin in your church. I don't know. I've never been to your church.

What I do know, is if I have to choose between feeling uncomfortable and going to Heaven, or not going to church, and going to Hell.... I think I'd take being uncomfortable and going to Heaven. The other option just seems like a bad plan in my book.

Lastly, about this how you feel, and should you tell anyone.

I'm not sure why I'd need to tell anyone anything. Where does this idea come from that I have to confess things I didn't do, but I felt? That's crazy in my book.

If you actually do something wrong, then maybe you need to confess it. In private, with a person you can trust. Maybe the pastor, in a private session, on a week day.

But there is a huge difference between what you feel, and what you do. I have a lady co-worker here, that has this fantastic body, these fantastic curvy chest orbs, and these really nice eyes and smile.... and you know what else she has? A nice ring on her finger. She's married.

Do my hormones want to have sex with her? Sure. Do I do it? No, that's called sin, and I'm a Christian man. We don't do that.

Do I need to go confess it? No. Why would I confess to not doing something? That's ridiculous. I have no interest in having sex with a married woman, because that's sin according to G-d. Doesn't mean I don't have attraction. Yeah of course I have attraction.

So I don't see why you would need to confess something you haven't done. Now if you are doing it, then yeah that's a problem. But if you are just telling me you 'feel' like doing something sinful.... join the club dude. We all 'feel' like doing something evil in our lives. You just don't, because it's.... evil. Right? Move on.

This was really helpful, but at the same time you seem a bit angry with me. I apologize for angering you.

 

[Introverted1293]

You need to be very careful about who you reveal your struggles with. Not everyone, especially/even in the Church, can understand or relate to same-sex struggles. It isn't something talked about much. And, since you know it is a sin, you may be distracted by members who take the status quo approach, and treat what you are dealing with as "normal," and "acceptable" by the Most High God.

Honestly, this is not the right time to be open about homosexuality as a Christian. But, there has never actually been a good time to be honest about one's sin. My advice is not to be open about this in your church unless you absolutely trust your members. Absolutely trust.

Thank you very much.

 

[faythymns]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

I just commented on another forum regarding Lust. When it comes to same sex relationships, people immediately say it's a sin, but not all are, they're rare because they're not talked about or even considered valid. Same sex relationships are possible, if approached properly by both committing to a celibate life style pursuing Christ together. What that means to me is committing your life to your partner through a platonic approach, cherrishing and pursuing them through the teachings of Jesus Christ. My platonic life partner and I chose to remain celibate because we both believed that sex was not a necessity for a healthy relationship that the only one we needed is Jesus Christ, He is the foundation on which we stand. Our relationship in the beginning though was sexual, but it changed only by the Grace of God were we both convicted in the spirit seeking His forgiveness and to deliver us both from the Lust in our hearts. This wasn't an overnight process, but the conviction in the spirit was so strong that the change felt almost immediate.

In the name of Jesus, may these verses and the power of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ cleanse your heart and mind from the unclean desires of the flesh and bring peace to your entire being.

Romans 6:13
Romans 6:20-21
Romans 7:15-16
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Philippians 4:6-8
Philippians 4:13*

 

[tulipbee]

OK. Thank you for your reply.

actually they want you to be gay. if you're not gay, they'll make you one

 

[DW1980]

actually they want you to be gay. if you're not gay, they'll make you one

This is ridiculous. Many Churches understand the Bible differently and affirm same sex relationships. That does not mean they are out to make anyone gay, or take the Bible less seriously than Churches that hold to a more traditional view. You cannot control or choose your sexuality.

 

[tulipbee]

This is ridiculous. Many Churches understand the Bible differently and affirm same sex relationships. That does not mean they are out to make anyone gay, or take the Bible less seriously than Churches that hold to a more traditional view. You cannot control or choose your sexuality.

they do anything to make their church bigger. gays tithe well

 

[DW1980]

they do anything to make their church bigger. gays tithe well

Nice to see you acknowledge that gays are more faithful than heterosexuals (Luke 12:34) who, based on your rather large stereotype, don't tithe as well.

On that note, your ill informed stereotypes do little to answer the OP, and much to reinforce secular anti-Christian prejudice. Can we keep on topic?

 

[samwise gamgee]

This is ridiculous. Many Churches understand the Bible differently and affirm same sex relationships. That does not mean they are out to make anyone gay, or take the Bible less seriously than Churches that hold to a more traditional view. You cannot control or choose your sexuality.

They choose to put indulging in sinful desires above obedience to God and so interpret the Bible to conform to what they want to do. You can't control your sexuality but you can control whether or not you act on it.

 

[Anthony2019]

They choose to put indulging in sinful desires above obedience to God and so interpret the Bible to conform to what they want to do.

The Christian life is very costly: "if anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.’” Luke 9:23.

There are many people in this world who are not remotely bothered about their relationship with God.

I think we grossly underestimate the faith of people with same sex attractions who are coming to terms with their own experiences. They are seeking to follow Christ and His will for their lives, whilst being rigorously honest with themselves.The fact that these people, who, like everyone else, have questions of faith and doubt, are continuing to read their Bibles, attend church and pray, speaks volumes about how much they care about their relationship with God and with others.

 

[Introverted1293]

I just commented on another forum regarding Lust. When it comes to same sex relationships, people immediately say it's a sin, but not all are, they're rare because they're not talked about or even considered valid. Same sex relationships are possible, if approached properly by both committing to a celibate life style pursuing Christ together. What that means to me is committing your life to your partner through a platonic approach, cherrishing and pursuing them through the teachings of Jesus Christ. My platonic life partner and I chose to remain celibate because we both believed that sex was not a necessity for a healthy relationship that the only one we needed is Jesus Christ, He is the foundation on which we stand. Our relationship in the beginning though was sexual, but it changed only by the Grace of God were we both convicted in the spirit seeking His forgiveness and to deliver us both from the Lust in our hearts. This wasn't an overnight process, but the conviction in the spirit was so strong that the change felt almost immediate.

In the name of Jesus, may these verses and the power of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ cleanse your heart and mind from the unclean desires of the flesh and bring peace to your entire being.

Romans 6:13
Romans 6:20-21
Romans 7:15-16
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Philippians 4:6-8
Philippians 4:13*

Thank you very much and God bless

 

[Introverted1293]

actually they want you to be gay. if you're not gay, they'll make you one

LOL

I don't know how to respond to that.

 

[com7fy8]

This was really helpful, but at the same time you seem a bit angry with me. I apologize for angering you.

Andrew, of course, can speak for himself; but our Apostle Paul says they used great plainness of speech, according to one translation, and in other translation work it says great boldness, which I see can mean a similar thing. I find that Andrew is spelling things out very clearly, in order to be helpful. So, I personally do not see anger in how he communicates. I like how he is more personal and simple than I am.

But because of how you may have had run-ins with criticism, directly or through how you have known people to speak of others, you might be overly ready to feel people are mad at you and rejecting you.

And, by the way, I was involved with a woman who had a female partner, and she maybe played me around, not letting me know. And then I found myself in a rage against guys who came after me in military boot camp. I could be very loud and severe in reacting to things.

And there might be people who feel threatened, for some reason. I think ones are afraid certain activists are going to convert their children away from the faith and moral upbringing they have tried to give to their children. And they might assume all gays are like certain activists who have gone after children, at schools, away from their parents, in order to promote their political agenda. But I think I know at least one guy who would communicate with his family or anyone else and not push things. So, not all are alike.

And you might feed on this > our arguing and complaining can hurt our children so they do not know how to relate in God's love in a close relationship. And unforgiveness can be devastating to the unforgiving person, much more than to the one not being forgiven. So, there are anti-love things which are indeed a major threat to the character of children, and they are not political items. And the damage of these things, fed to children by their own parents, can be more destructive than some stranger doing activist stuff near a school. But we might tend to point our finger at the other person, and be ignoring and in denial about how we ourselves could be doing more to hurt someone, by our own bad example.

So, we pray for God to prove Himself in you, and then you will need to be wise to other sorts of problems which can easily sneak in to how so-called "straight" people do things. I offer how if we are humble and honest, we will be telling you about our own problems, and do this to help you to be wise to us who show you love, so you mainly depend on God

 

[Introverted1293]

Andrew, of course, can speak for himself; but our Apostle Paul says they used great plainness of speech, according to one translation, and in other translation work it says great boldness, which I see can mean a similar thing. I find that Andrew is spelling things out very clearly, in order to be helpful. So, I personally do not see anger in how he communicates. I like how he is more personal and simple than I am.

But because of how you may have had run-ins with criticism, directly or through how you have known people to speak of others, you might be overly ready to feel people are mad at you and rejecting you.

And, by the way, I was involved with a woman who had a female partner, and she maybe played me around, not letting me know. And then I found myself in a rage against guys who came after me in military boot camp. I could be very loud and severe in reacting to things.

And there might be people who feel threatened, for some reason. I think ones are afraid certain activists are going to convert their children away from the faith and moral upbringing they have tried to give to their children. And they might assume all gays are like certain activists who have gone after children, at schools, away from their parents, in order to promote their political agenda. But I think I know at least one guy who would communicate with his family or anyone else and not push things. So, not all are alike.

And you might feed on this > our arguing and complaining can hurt our children so they do not know how to relate in God's love in a close relationship. And unforgiveness can be devastating to the unforgiving person, much more than to the one not being forgiven. So, there are anti-love things which are indeed a major threat to the character of children, and they are not political items. And the damage of these things, fed to children by their own parents, can be more destructive than some stranger doing activist stuff near a school. But we might tend to point our finger at the other person, and be ignoring and in denial about how we ourselves could be doing more to hurt someone, by our own bad example.

So, we pray for God to prove Himself in you, and then you will need to be wise to other sorts of problems which can easily sneak in to how so-called "straight" people do things. I offer how if we are humble and honest, we will be telling you about our own problems, and do this to help you to be wise to us who show you love, so you mainly depend on God

Thank you very much for your explanations. Also, thank you for your prayers.

 

[aiki]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

If you want the prayers of godly people on your behalf against this attraction, you're going to have to tell them about it.

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

Sin, which homosexuality is, arises from a greater and more fundamental evil: Self. Homosexuality is merely a symptom of Self in control. Self is the Great Evil God wants to remedy - and has - through Christ. Read Galatians 2:20 and Romans 6:1-18.

In any case, the Church - not a denomination or building - is supposed to be your safety net, a place of refuge and support when you're struggling. Satan will do all he can to keep you alone, isolated from the Church, so he can more easily and fully take you down. Don't let him! Return to the safety of "the herd" or, rather, the flock (cause we're all sheep).

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle?

This is a story you're telling yourself, not reality. You're imagining what might happen. Trust God. Let Him lead you to godly people who can walk with you as you come free of this attraction. Don't talk yourself out of the help God intends the Church to be for you.

I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most.

Should they love your sin? No. Should they be soft on it? No. Are you your sin? No. So, what's the problem, then?

It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

So, you want Christians to treat you and your sin with kid gloves? How are they going to help you get free of it if they have to walk on eggshells about it? Homosexuality is sin. Should Christians say that it isn't? Should they act like it isn't?

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church?

Only to those you know to be godly people who are mature in the faith and willing to pray for you and walk with you to freedom from the attraction.

 

[Introverted1293]

If you want the prayers of godly people on your behalf against this attraction, you're going to have to tell them about it.



Sin, which homosexuality is, arises from a greater and more fundamental evil: Self. Homosexuality is merely a symptom of Self in control. Self is the Great Evil God wants to remedy - and has - through Christ. Read Galatians 2:20 and Romans 6:1-18.

In any case, the Church - not a denomination or building - is supposed to be your safety net, a place of refuge and support when you're struggling. Satan will do all he can to keep you alone, isolated from the Church, so he can more easily and fully take you down. Don't let him! Return to the safety of "the herd" or, rather, the flock (cause we're all sheep).



This is a story you're telling yourself, not reality. You're imagining what might happen. Trust God. Let Him lead you to godly people who can walk with you as you come free of this attraction. Don't talk yourself out of the help God intends the Church to be for you.



Should they love your sin? No. Should they be soft on it? No. Are you your sin? No. So, what's the problem, then?



So, you want Christians to treat you and your sin with kid gloves? How are they going to help you get free of it if they have to walk on eggshells about it? Homosexuality is sin. Should Christians say that it isn't? Should they act like it isn't?



Only to those you know to be godly people who are mature in the faith and willing to pray for you and walk with you to freedom from the attraction.

Thank you very much.

 

[anna ~ grace]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

I also experience ssa. I don't generally share this with people in churches. For me, it's something private which I know is wrong, which I still sometimes have to fight against, and which God graciously helps me identify, deal with, and not act on.

Most people don't need to know.

 

[Introverted1293]

I also experience ssa. I don't generally share this with people in churches. For me, it's something private which I know is wrong, which I still sometimes have to fight against, and which God graciously helps me identify, deal with, and not act on.

Most people don't need to know.

Thank you for sharing.

 

[Introverted1293]

The Christian life is very costly: "if anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.’” Luke 9:23.

There are many people in this world who are not remotely bothered about their relationship with God.

I think we grossly underestimate the faith of people with same sex attractions who are coming to terms with their own experiences. They are seeking to follow Christ and His will for their lives, whilst being rigorously honest with themselves.The fact that these people, who, like everyone else, have questions of faith and doubt, are continuing to read their Bibles, attend church and pray, speaks volumes about how much they care about their relationship with God and with others.

Thank you

It is very hard. But if I am to be honest with you, I don't value it as much as I should. I have been too distracted.

 

[tulipbee]

Nice to see you acknowledge that gays are more faithful than heterosexuals (Luke 12:34) who, based on your rather large stereotype, don't tithe as well.

On that note, your ill informed stereotypes do little to answer the OP, and much to reinforce secular anti-Christian prejudice. Can we keep on topic?

they do their jobs well. they have no family to return home too.