Same-Sex Attraction And The Church

[tulipbee]

you can bring it up at a PCUSA. They won't care

 

[DW1980]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. <snip> I understand that it is an unnatural sin.

Being gay is not a sin, very few Christians believe that. The discussion Christians have is whether or not same-sex relationships are sinful.

But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

My advice would be go to a Church that welcomes you and understands. Focus on your relationship with God. At the end of the day, you are more than your sexuality. Why worship somewhere that defines you by that, rather than the person you are - a child of God?

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

Again, if you are in a Church where you would feel scared to be open about one aspect of who you are, you need a new Church.

 

[samwise gamgee]

Perhaps you could understand this problem better if you read a book called Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill. He was born into a Christian family and found that he experienced sexual attraction to other men. He has chosen to live a life of celibacy and not yield to his desires. Here is a review of the book.

Washed and Waiting: the story of a gay Christian

 

[devin553344]

A slight correction: the study linked it in some gay men, not all. It increases the chances of same sex attraction; there are other factors involved. It also didn't find it in lesbians.

Sure, there was a scientific study done that indicated lesbian genetics, but I read that a while ago and the search engine crowded it out now. I did find this with a quick search: Why Are There Gay Women?

 

[eleos1954]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

Go to the Lord with all your struggles.

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Amen

 

[Blade]

My brother since you asked.. if its something that IS causing you to sin.. then yes. If not.. then no as David said.. against thee and only thee do I sin and do this evil in your sight. We confess our sins one to another for the SIN we are doing or stuck in I believe. But I will leave you with this.. its not something you have to live with for the rest of your life.. You can be set free. For whom the Son sets free is free. As our bothers Peter and John said "why look at us as if we did this under out own power. ITS FAITH IN THAT NAME! JESUS!

 

[Calminian]

Thank you everyone. I have to go, but I will read more when I get back. God bless you all. And thanks for not condemning me.

Thanks for sharing this. I see a lot of wisdom in you, and believe you will handle this correctly. I agree with most here, there's a vast difference between temptation and actual sin. You've acknowledged that acting on it would be a sin, and by this you're agreeing with God and showing you trust in God.

 

[com7fy8]

For example, I have been a gluttony and greedy.

So, you admit that you have given in to sinful things. And there has not been only one problem with preferences, has there? The ones you have mentioned involve getting pleasure. So, I consider that people's real preference is for pleasure, and all that identity stuff is just a trick, then.

Our real identity is either we are children of Satan or we are children of God.

But if we are with Satan, we can be called sinners, and children of God can also be called saints or the elect.

But ones might say oh we all sin and you have named sin things. But the fact that I sin, alone, does not make sinner and child of Satan my identity.

If we have trusted in Jesus for salvation, we are children of God. But we are children who all need correction > as verse 8 says, in Hebrews 12:4-14. And God's correction succeeds against every sort of sin problem. But sin things are very stubborn, so set on getting the treasured pleasures of those sinful drives. And we humans on our own can not get rid of any sin problem. But with God it is possible >

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (in Luke 18:27)

Every one of us has problems which only God can correct. Only God is almighty against our sin problems. But Satan is stubborn and stupid; so for all our lives he will be allowed to keep bringing things back to us to try to get us under the power of pleasure seeking and greedy drives and desire for revenge against people who have kept us from feeling pleasures we have treasured.

So, just because a wrong feeling attacks and violates you, this does not make this thing your identity, and it does not mean it is you. But in case you can somehow give in to a wrong idea or feeling or drive, be encouraged that God is able to change our nature so such things can not get the better of us. So, any time you fail about anything, trust God to correct you and forgive you . . . not only forgive you!! And keep trusting Him to keep doing this, while He also changes us to be more like Jesus and how Jesus is pleasing to our Father and loves tenderly and can not give in to sin things.

And, again, as you get stronger against problems which have been obvious to you, now there will be other things to also notice, which might not have been so obvious, or Satan will try to bring new wrong things in hope that you won't know they are wrong.

But we can test by how God rules us in His peace. God can make us more and more able to know Him and His ruling in His own peace being shared with us, and we can simply refuse to go along with any attention-getters which are to elsewhere. In God's peace we do have feelings and enjoyments and emotions and relating > peaceful at least inside us. And we learn and grow to tell the difference > we are children who are growing and maturing in more and more of Jesus and all we can see the Bible means God desires to share with us.

So, thank you for sharing so personally. God bless you, howsoever He pleases. And live and feed on how we as God's children are first about loving one another and loving those who do not know how to love us. And be their best friend by being good example of how to be and how to love, so they can find out how to love. And do not look down on unloving people, but have compassion, and pray for me too to get more real about what I write!!!!

 

[RDKirk]

Your assumption about demons not being able to occupy a body is not true. They can. I have one and i am a Spirit filled believer. I see demons cast out of christians. Demons can not own you but they can oppress and inhabit the mind...will..body like the temple's outer courts and inner courts were defiled but never the Holy of Holies.

Are you telling me that you are currently possessed by a demon?

What does the Holy Spirit within you say about that?

 

[Natsumi Lam]

Are you telling me that you are currently possessed by a demon?

What does the Holy Spirit within you say about that?

Demons can come and go... so yes and no. I am waiting for my deliverance. But yes i deal with a demon, unclean spirit. I dont feel safe to do the exorcism alone...it is never wise to be alone while doing an exorcism. I also dont think it is wise to do it on yourself.

I dont know how to put it in a term that relates...closest is it is a trial i need to overcome...i feel like He hates it but that is my feeling not the words of the HS.

 

[MournfulWatcher]

Sure, there was a scientific study done that indicated lesbian genetics, but I read that a while ago and the search engine crowded it out now. I did find this with a quick search: Why Are There Gay Women?

That would explain why I know so many women who were really interested in guys growing up and then suddenly announced they were gay. And then often saying they're bi, and then genderfluid, and then trans.

 

[Andrew77]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

I've always wondered about this statement I've heard from so many, that homosexuality is the sin the church hates the most. Says who? Pagans?

I do video editing as a hobby, and as a result, I watch usually 4 different sermons from different churches, and that doesn't include the 3 churches that I have personally attended. In all my years, I've heard maybe a dozen sermons that mentioned homosexuality, and maybe 1 sermon that was exclusively about homosexuality.

None suggested it was the most hated sin.

Now it is true that in the media, that you see preachers talking about homosexuality being a sin.

But that is not because it is the most hated sin. It's because in the media, people are constantly saying homosexuality is not a sin. If I was in the media, and people in the media were constantly saying adultery is not a sin... I would constantly be telling everyone that adultery, having sex with woman married to a different man, was a sin.

You would conclude that adultery is the most hated sin in the world, because I was constantly talking about it. No, it's because people kept saying it was fine to commit adultery, and I was correcting them.

The reason you don't see Christians in media saying Adultery is evil, as much as you see them saying homosexuality is evil, is because the pagans are not constantly saying Adultery is fine. If they were doing that, you would see Christians contradicting them all the time.

Now I don't know what your specific church teaches or preaches, so perhaps it is the most hated sin in your church. I don't know. I've never been to your church.

What I do know, is if I have to choose between feeling uncomfortable and going to Heaven, or not going to church, and going to Hell.... I think I'd take being uncomfortable and going to Heaven. The other option just seems like a bad plan in my book.

Lastly, about this how you feel, and should you tell anyone.

I'm not sure why I'd need to tell anyone anything. Where does this idea come from that I have to confess things I didn't do, but I felt? That's crazy in my book.

If you actually do something wrong, then maybe you need to confess it. In private, with a person you can trust. Maybe the pastor, in a private session, on a week day.

But there is a huge difference between what you feel, and what you do. I have a lady co-worker here, that has this fantastic body, these fantastic curvy chest orbs, and these really nice eyes and smile.... and you know what else she has? A nice ring on her finger. She's married.

Do my hormones want to have sex with her? Sure. Do I do it? No, that's called sin, and I'm a Christian man. We don't do that.

Do I need to go confess it? No. Why would I confess to not doing something? That's ridiculous. I have no interest in having sex with a married woman, because that's sin according to G-d. Doesn't mean I don't have attraction. Yeah of course I have attraction.

So I don't see why you would need to confess something you haven't done. Now if you are doing it, then yeah that's a problem. But if you are just telling me you 'feel' like doing something sinful.... join the club dude. We all 'feel' like doing something evil in our lives. You just don't, because it's.... evil. Right? Move on.

 

[Kaon]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

You need to be very careful about who you reveal your struggles with. Not everyone, especially/even in the Church, can understand or relate to same-sex struggles. It isn't something talked about much. And, since you know it is a sin, you may be distracted by members who take the status quo approach, and treat what you are dealing with as "normal," and "acceptable" by the Most High God.

Honestly, this is not the right time to be open about homosexuality as a Christian. But, there has never actually been a good time to be honest about one's sin. My advice is not to be open about this in your church unless you absolutely trust your members. Absolutely trust.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

One would hope.

A few years ago, in another city, I was having lunch with the pastor of the congregation I was attending at that time and place.

He lamented how difficult it was to deal with the issue of homosexuality in the proper way. He said that if a member was struggling with any other problem, it would be easy to call on elders and senior members to help with that struggle. Someone calling one night struggling with pornography--sure, the brothers would be glad to rush to his house to help. "Pastor, I'm struggling with promiscuity, and I slept with a woman other than my wife last night--I need someone to help me." Sure. Anything else...sure the brothers are there to help.

But homosexuality, he said...that was a problem. "Pastor, I'm having a problem with homosexuality, and I fell last night--I need someone to help me." Oh, no. A member struggling with any other sin would be tolerated and aided in his struggle. But if someone was struggling with That was the only sin people demanded be conquered before becoming a member. He lamented that was a problem even in his own congregation.

So for the OP: Be wise and prayerful about who you go to for assistance. There might not be anyone in your congregation who is prepared to help you.

Depends on the attitude of the homosexual.

Do they come with "this is who I am you need to accept me" or "this is a sin I need to repent of can you help me"?

 

[Christopher0121]

1 Peter 4:8 New Living Translation (NLT)
8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

 

[Introverted1293]

Since you're taking psychology I thought you might find this interesting, which, if true definitely suggests a genetic factor: https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/what-causes-schizophrenia#1

"They do know that you’re more likely to get schizophrenia if someone in your family has it. If it’s a parent, brother, or sister, your chances go up by 10%. If both your parents have it, you have a 40% chance of getting it."

And there are many new scientific studies that do similar analysis of homosexual linking: The evolutionary puzzle of homosexuality

"But scientific opinion is with Macklemore. Since the early 1990s, researchers have shown that homosexuality is more common in brothers and relatives on the same maternal line, and a genetic factor is taken to be the cause..."

Thank you very much. I will take a look.

 

[Introverted1293]

The matter is sin and repenting for the remission of my sins and nothing else: if I steal(for example) then I must repent and own my sin and stop stealing; so is it with every sin under the sun. Other than this there is no other matter to discuss.

OK. Thank you for your reply.

 

[Introverted1293]

I hope and pray you will find a church that doesn't simply focus on your sexuality, but on you as a whole person. I hope their welcome will be extended to you as generously and unconditionally as it would be to any other person walking through their doors. You are a child of God and deeply loved by Him. Let no-one tell you that you are anything different.

When you raise issues such as these with Christians, you will get a lot of different responses. Some of them will understand what you are going through and others will not. The most important thing is that the Lord understands what you are going through and will help you and guide you. Prayerfully read the scriptures, and ask the Lord to direct you in the way He wishes you to go.

Thank you very much.

 

[Introverted1293]

1 Peter 4:8 New Living Translation (NLT)
8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Thank you very much.

 

[Introverted1293]

you can bring it up at a PCUSA. They won't care

OK. Thank you for your reply.