Same-Sex Attraction And The Church

[Introverted1293]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around me because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting to get educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher was very condescending in the way that corrected you.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

There is no need to bring it up here.

 

[Introverted1293]

There is no need to bring it up here.

OK

Are you saying that I don't need to bring it up in church, or you are saying that I shouldn't of written a thread about it? If I did wrong, by writing a thread about it, because I wanted advice, I apologize. I probably should have just asked a deacon. I can acknowledge that I did wrong.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

There is no need to bring it up in church.

 

[Monk Brendan]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher did not have to be condescending in any way.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

Some sins might be disreputable, such as extra-marital sexual acts.

But others, like pride or judgementalism, are disastrous.

Most people I know don't really care if you're gay, straight, or sideways.

When you go to confession, does your priest require you to reveal your sins to everybody in general?

The main issue is: ARe you doing your best to live for Jesus?

That's all that matters.

BTW--we don't get to choose our temptations.

 

[TrulsCyberås]

It's one thing to feel the urge to commit a sinful action and another to act upon it. You feel an urge to have a homosexual relationship, while other people struggle with lust for premarital sex, inappropriate content, greed, theft, gossip, etc. Homosexuality is just one sin as many other. However, if you act upon it, don't feel any remorse and don't turn to God for forgiveness, it's a different question.

 

[LynnSmith]

Having the attraction and acting on the attraction are two different things. We are all attracted to sinful things at some point. I would talk to someone you can trust, someone you can be accountable to. Get into God’s Word and prayer as much as you can. Lean on God to keep you from acting on the attraction. No church should turn you away. We all sin. We all have sinful thoughts. Until we are away from this fallen world none of us will be perfect.

 

[Endeavourer]

let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most.

I'm so sorry that it feels that way. I agree that some behaviors are focused on while others seem to be endorsed. Gluttony for example.... yet, have you ever been to a church potluck??

The Lord says if you break the least of His commandments you've broken all of them. This is not to whip us for breaking his commandments but to demonstrate to us the impossibility of being righteous on our own and point us to Him as the only path to righteousness.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most.

I'm sorry about this experience for you. While we need to be faithful and true to Scriptures, we do not need to harass and judge people for things the person is already dealing with between them and their Lord. It's easy to feel harassed and judged when the finger is pointed at you although the speaker had no desire or wish to make you feel that way.

I am also tuned to a few "ouch!"s that are routinely thrown out there from the pulpit with little understanding and much ignorance. It can make it very unpleasant to attend a church service ...waiting for that blow to come. Usually it never does, but just having to wait for it brings it into your routine experience.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church?

NO! Not unless you want to share it with those who you fellowship with, if you trust them to recognize your dignity in the Lord. First establish a relationship and then share only if/when you feel it is emotionally safe for you to do so.

Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

Yes, don't ask, don't tell. Unless you would like more specific support with those you feel safe to fellowship with.

 

[devin553344]

Sorry your struggling with that. I agree with @ImAllLikeOkWaitWat. The science behind homosexual tendencies is still a new science and maybe they will have an answer to it in the future as to what causes it. So far they have linked some of it to genetics, but it's still a new science. But just like a sinner, if you don't want to be judged then don't bring it up. Not everyone is living a perfect Christian lifestyle such that they won't judge you. I find that people, even "Christians", tend to be judgmental, it's just in our nature.

That said, you may want to confess your sins to your bishop if that is standard practice in your church. And that would be when you commit sin, so you don't have to really confess tendencies as those may be considered temptations and let's face it you don't have to confess temptations.

 

[PloverWing]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Even in conservative churches, the prohibition is only on actions, not on the sexual orientation itself. If you have same-sex attraction but are celibate, no church has any cause to criticize you.

Whatever sins you have committed, confess them to God. If you are in a tradition that includes confession in the presence of a priest, then confess them to your priest as well (knowing that priests are morally bound to keep your confession in confidence). Beyond that, there is no reason that other church members need to know your private struggles.

Be at peace, and know that God loves you.

 

[HoneyBee]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

Part of me thinks that I should not go to church because let's face it, homosexuality is a sin that the church hates the most. That is why they preach against it the most. Well, that is what it shows on the media anyways.

I understand that it is an unnatural sin. But because they speak so much against it, I have to wonder why go to church when everyone will clearly be uncomfortable around because of my sinful struggle? I want to know the truth. But it is hard to hear the truth when the people who tell you the truth hates your sin the most. It will be like wanting educated, but the educator makes you feel stupid if you got the wrong answer. You want to know if you got the answer right or wrong, but your teacher did not have to be condescending in any way.

Again, the question is, do I need to reveal my sin to members of the church? Should I just have a don't ask and don't tell attitude? I know that the Bible says to confess your sins one to another, but that is the sin that gets condemned the most by other Christians. I don't know if I want to reveal that to them.

As someone who also has partial same-sex attraction, I think it would be unnecessary to reveal to everyone at church that you have same-sex attractions yourself. You don't necessarily have to hide it, but you don't have to announce it either. I'm discussing this from a practical standpoint, not one of judgment. Anyways, the only time I could see you bringing it up is if you were wanting to talk to your pastor or priest about it in order to seek spiritual guidance or counseling.

As for going to church, I would encourage you to still attend. The Church welcomes anyone and everyone who seeks Christ, regardless of their inclinations or sins committed. After all, the Church is meant to be a sort of hospital for sinners, not just a temple for saints. We all have our own crosses to carry, so any good church would welcome you with open arms.

This is not to say that they will condone any sinful conduct, but they are willing to receive anyone with love. Remember, God wants us to come as we are.

And, if I'm being honest, you may get backlash or bad reactions from some Christians if you are to reveal your romantic inclinations towards the same sex. I'd encourage you to be wary of who you tell, but if such a thing should ever happen to you, I just want to remind you not to see their reactions as reflective of the entire religion or even of how God views you. Christians are not perfect, but God is.

I'll get off my soap box now, but I hope that my comment helps, at least a little bit.

 

[RaymondG]

I understand your dilemma.....I struggle with opposite sex attraction.....yet I know fornication/adultery is sin and is frowned upon.

Do you believe that I should not go to church because of this or reveal that I like the opposite sex to the church? If not, how would my situation be different from yours?

 

[Introverted1293]

Thank you everyone. I have to go, but I will read more when I get back. God bless you all. And thanks for not condemning me.

 

[Introverted1293]

I understand your dilemma.....I struggle with opposite sex attraction.....yet I know fornication/adultery is sin and is frowned upon.

Do you believe that I should not go to church because of this or reveal that I like the opposite sex to the church? If not, how would my situation be different from yours?

Good question

 

[Introverted1293]

There is no need to bring it up in church.

Thank you very much.

 

[usexpat97]

I have same-sex attraction. I know that it is a sin against God. But I was wondering if I have to reveal my issue to church members?

No. Lust is a sin we all deal with. Use your judgement, and if you deem telling certain people to be beneficial to your walk and accountability, then do so.

If I looked on someone's wife in church the wrong way, I wouldn't go tell her husband. That would be idiotic judgement. But I still have to account for my own sinful nature somehow.

 

[Introverted1293]

I have to go. I will respond to more later. God bless everyone.

 

[crossnote]

Confess it to God, He will forgive and guide you from there.

 

[Carl Emerson]

Temptation comes from the tempter...

Resist Satan and he will flee from you.

Lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil...

Learn to refuse the temptation.

Learn to stand in His authority against the evil desire and over time it will be subdued if you are consistent.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I am a much older man than you, Jesse, and therefore more and longer traveled around the church. I've been part of many churches of several denominations over my lifetime. Not one has asked me details about my sin or my sexuality before welcoming and including me, nor have I offered.

People also aren't lining up to tell me about their sins, which frankly I appreciate. I know they have them, but I'm just not that interested. I best concentrate on my own and let other people sort out theirs with God. That's my opinion.