Victim Blaming

[MariaJLM]

Okay, this is likely just a rant thread. I seem to be good at those...

I'm not naming names, but a certain member has made a thread essentially implying that women are harassed by men because of how they dress. This seems to be an unfortunately all too common mindset in Christianity(and certainly a good chunk of other religions too). I, of course, vehemently disagree with it. Women get harassed and even raped regardless of what they wear. Blaming women for the predatory behaviour of men is just another form of victim blaming and I'm sick of it. When men are sexually harassed nobody goes up to them and asks them "what were you wearing?" so why do it to women?

Additionally, if a man claims to be Christian then why is he entertaining perverse thoughts towards women he's not married to anyway? As Christians we have a responsibility to control our sinful thoughts and blaming others for our own behaviour and dictating how they behave is getting into Pharisee territory. We are only responsible for our own salvation, nobody else's. That's up to God.

/end rant

 

[Gregory Thompson]

That certain member would need to dig a little deeper than dress code, but it is uncommon for men to pick up on the subtle telepathic signals women send naturally.

 

[MariaJLM]

That certain member would need to dig a little deeper than dress code, but it is uncommon for men to pick up on the subtle telepathic signals women send naturally.

What?

 

[Gregory Thompson]

What?

It's kind of like the reality behind Matthew 5:28 and the world behind it all.

Hush hush, if you don't know I'm not telling you, kind of stuff.

 

[Philip_B]

That certain member would need to dig a little deeper than dress code, but it is uncommon for men to pick up on the subtle telepathic signals women send naturally.

My dear brother in Christ. I would urge you to think about what you have expressed. I suspect it is more common for men not to be so telepathically attuned to women as they are to their own imagination and desire. Mostly I think your post here was unhelpful on this occasion.

Pax

 

[Gregory Thompson]

My dear brother in Christ. I would urge you to think about what you have expressed. I suspect it is more conmon for men not to be so telepathically atuned to women as they are to their own imagination and desire. Mostly I think your post here was unhelpful on this occasion.

Pax

I agree mostly.

The signals sent tend to be universally misunderstood.

 

[The Faceless]

There's proper and improper victim blaming. Improper victim blaming is when you say a woman asked to be raped for wearing a skirt in public in the civilized West. We are supposed to be free. We are brought up free. We don't rape people. Savage criminals do that. Proper victim blaming is when you blame a woman for her murder in the Middle East since she was wearing clothing deemed improper. You know where you are, what the laws are, what will happen. Just an example. We who discuss it and the people who are victims all have to use some common sense. In no case is rape ever OK, and in no case should a woman be blamed due to her clothing *in most situations.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

It is this universal incompatibility of the signals that causes the male body to interpret it as flirting.

Incorrectly of course, but that's basically what happens. However, since the male mind is not taught to be intuitive normally ... the mind blames something visible and complains about it incessantly.

I've found my way to bounce the signals, i'm pretty sure it wasn't meant that way anyway .. so I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

 

[MariaJLM]

There's proper and improper victim blaming. Improper victim blaming is when you say a woman asked to be raped for wearing a skirt in public in the civilized West. We are supposed to be free. We are brought up free. We don't rape people. Savage criminals do that. Proper victim blaming is when you blame a woman for her murder in the Middle East since she was wearing clothing deemed improper. You know where you are, what the laws are, what will happen. Just an example. We who discuss it and the people who are victims all have to use some common sense. In no case is rape ever OK, and in no case should a woman be blamed due to her clothing *in most situations.

No. Women, or anybody else, should never be blamed for others abusing them in any way.

 

[The Faceless]

No. Women, or anybody else, should never be blamed for others abusing them in any way.

If I drive a BMW to the south side of Chicago and I leave it unlocked overnight, it's going to be my fault that it isn't there in the morning.

If someone goes to North Korea and starts taking photos, it's their fault they get put in a terrible prison. You know what North Korea is and you know what can happen.

Everyone has to use common sense.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

Would it be fair to say women who wear tight, revealing clothing, want the attention of men whom we know are more sexually reactive than women?

 

[FireDragon76]

If I drive a BMW to the south side of Chicago and I leave it unlocked overnight, it's going to be my fault that it isn't there in the morning.

Are you serious? Leaving a car unlocked in the south side of Chicago is unwise, but the actual crime would be theft. Otherwise you are basically dehumanizing the citizens of south Chicago by implying they are incapable of being responsible for their actions.

 

[MariaJLM]

If I drive a BMW to the south side of Chicago and I leave it unlocked overnight, it's going to be my fault that it isn't there in the morning.

If someone goes to North Korea and starts taking photos, it's their fault they get put in a terrible prison. You know what North Korea is and you know what can happen.

Everyone has to use common sense.

If there's a fruit tree in your neighbour's backyard you don't just go and pick the fruit off it without permission. Same applies to touching or gawking at the opposite sex.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Are you serious? Leaving a car unlocked in the south side of Chicago is unwise, but the actual crime would be theft. Otherwise you are basically dehumanizing the citizens of south Chicago by implying they are incapable of being responsible for their actions.

I thought once you were in America, it was your fault for getting in the way. It's a common perception I noticed south of the border.

 

[The Faceless]

Are you serious? Leaving a car unlocked in the south side of Chicago is unwise, but the actual crime would be theft. Otherwise you are basically dehumanizing the citizens of south Chicago by implying they are incapable of being responsible for their actions.

They committed a crime and I was guilty of stupidity. We're all on the same side here but my point is there a select situations where the victim was unwise, guilty of ignorance.

 

[bekkilyn]

Okay, this is likely just a rant thread. I seem to be good at those...

I'm not naming names, but a certain member has made a thread essentially implying that women are harassed by men because of how they dress. This seems to be an unfortunately all too common mindset in Christianity(and certainly a good chunk of other religions too). I, of course, vehemently disagree with it. Women get harassed and even raped regardless of what they wear. Blaming women for the predatory behaviour of men is just another form of victim blaming and I'm sick of it. When men are sexually harassed nobody goes up to them and asks them "what were you wearing?" so why do it to women?

Additionally, if a man claims to be Christian then why is he entertaining perverse thoughts towards women he's not married to anyway? As Christians we have a responsibility to control our sinful thoughts and blaming others for our own behaviour and dictating how they behave is getting into Pharisee territory. We are only responsible for our own salvation, nobody else's. That's up to God.

/end rant

Yep, I'm sick of it too. And it looks like this thread has already gone down the same victim-blaming route as the other one.

 

[The Faceless]

If there's a fruit tree in your neighbour's backyard you don't just go and pick the fruit off it without permission. Same applies to touching or gawking at the opposite sex.

Yes we know that because that's our law, morality, and the way we are raised. Not all places are like this and in such cases the victim is at fault for being dumb. Just like the kid who ventured to the remote island and was killed by the tribe. He was murdered, but he was warned and warned not go there. His fault he died.

 

[MariaJLM]

Yes we know that because that's our law, morality, and the way we are raised. Not all places are like this and in such cases the victim is at fault for being dumb. Just like the kid who ventured to the remote island and was killed by the tribe. He was murdered, but he was warned and warned not go there. His fault he died.

And places that are not like here are also at fault. I'm criticizing them here too.

 

[All4Christ]

Stating that a male is incapable of decent behavior if a woman is dressed indecently - even in a country where all women are supposed to be in full hijab - is wrong. It’s giving the men less credit that they deserve. We all should be wise, but not exercising wisdom is no excuse for people to do wrong. The blame remains with the person who committed the crime or wrongdoing.

 

[JacobKStarkey]

I believe blaming the women for being raped is completely incompatible with the spirit of Christ.