There aren't that many fish in the sea...

[step_by_step]

"Don't worry, there's plenty fish in the sea!"

Are there, though?

Ugh, I know that I'm barely 20 and therefore have so much of the world left to see and so many more people to meet. But finding good Christian men is seeming more and more like a dream than an attainable reality. I know that if God has someone picked out for me, he will bring us together. But it's just so discouraging to look around and see the men who call themselves Christians.

Christian is more like a label you put on your dating profile these days. No one seems to actually walk with Christ anymore.

 

[Rigatoni]

I'm sure online dating was a feasible option at one time. But now, sites like that are plagued by questionable male and female members which ruin their reputation. There are many who are Christians-in-name-only who join those sites, as well as scammers, "catfish" and other questionable members. I guess many just like having the Christian label, but don't really care about God or living according to His word.

However, God does have someone for us, and will bring that person into our lives at the right time. There are godly, single Christians out there with whom we're compatible with. I actually know of a couple who met here on CF and were just recently married, who I became friends with here in the Singles forum. I remember reading their testimonies of becoming frustrated and basically just waited and fully depended on God for marriage, while focusing on Him completely in the mean time. He brought them together not long after I believe.

I know the feeling though; I've been waiting for years for that right person, and they always seem just out of reach. Every time I think I've found her, something interferes and prevents it from working out; it's beyond frustrating. I don't fully understand why the wait has been so long. But, I do know eventually the wait will end, and that He has a very good reason for it. The only thing we can do in the mean time is to submit that desire to Him and focus / depend on Him completely while we wait.

 

[SleepingAtLast]

"Don't worry, there's plenty fish in the sea!"

Are there, though?

Ugh, I know that I'm barely 20 and therefore have so much of the world left to see and so many more people to meet. But finding good Christian men is seeming more and more like a dream than an attainable reality. I know that if God has someone picked out for me, he will bring us together. But it's just so discouraging to look around and see the men who call themselves Christians.

Christian is more like a label you put on your dating profile these days. No one seems to actually walk with Christ anymore.

I don't know about you, but I feel glad for that most of the time. Given that you only need to find one person to spend your life with, and you can only date so many people, it weeds a lot of the people out that you would ultimately be wasting your time with.

And be careful about getting too cynical about men if your ultimate goal is to spend the rest of your life with one. Whoever he ends up being, he isn't going to be perfect.

 

[sunshine100]

I wouldn't and don't put much faith in the dating sites,I think they are a scam and the sites just want your money,but don't get me wrong,I know people do meet on there and for some people it does work out for them,both of my nephews met their girlfriends on one,my oldest nephew is married now with the girl that he met on a dating site,and they have a daughter,my niece,she is such a sweetheart,and my youngest nephew is still with his girlfriend,who he met online,just be careful on the dating sites,you never know who is on them,they could be crazy.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

NM

 

[step_by_step]

I'm sure online dating was a feasible option at one time. But now, sites like that are plagued by questionable male and female members which ruin their reputation. There are many who are Christians-in-name-only who join those sites, as well as scammers, "catfish" and other questionable members. I guess many just like having the Christian label, but don't really care about God or living according to His word.

However, God does have someone for us, and will bring that person into our lives at the right time. There are godly, single Christians out there with whom we're compatible with. I actually know of a couple who met here on CF and were just recently married, who I became friends with here in the Singles forum. I remember reading their testimonies of becoming frustrated and basically just waited and fully depended on God for marriage, while focusing on Him completely in the mean time. He brought them together not long after I believe.

I know the feeling though; I've been waiting for years for that right person, and they always seem just out of reach. Every time I think I've found her, something interferes and prevents it from working out; it's beyond frustrating. I don't fully understand why the wait has been so long. But, I do know eventually the wait will end, and that He has a very good reason for it. The only thing we can do in the mean time is to submit that desire to Him and focus / depend on Him completely while we wait.

I'm in agreement with you, dating sites just aren't a real way to meet anyone. I tried them once or twice and that's when I learned just how flippantly people use the word Christian. I matched up with "Christian" men who then messaged me to hook up or brag about how often they drink. It was disheartening.

I know that God will bring us together with our matches, it's just a little bit frustrating until that time. I also thought I found "the one" not too long ago but God shut that down pretty quickly. He has his reasons, even if they don't make sense right now...

 

[step_by_step]

I don't know about you, but I feel glad for that most of the time. Given that you only need to find one person to spend your life with, and you can only date so many people, it weeds a lot of the people out that you would ultimately be wasting your time with.

And be careful about getting too cynical about men if your ultimate goal is to spend the rest of your life with one. Whoever he ends up being, he isn't going to be perfect.

That's actually a very positive way to think about it!

I used to get cynical over it but not so much anymore. It's more of frustration now. I don't expect perfection but when I meet a "Christian" I expect them to behave like a Christian. That's the source of my displeasure, not so much men in general. Women can be the same! I've had the same struggles with my female friends.

 

[step_by_step]

I wouldn't and don't put much faith in the dating sites,I think they are a scam and the sites just want your money,but don't get me wrong,I know people do meet on there and for some people it does work out for them,both of my nephews met their girlfriends on one,my oldest nephew is married now with the girl that he met on a dating site,and they have a daughter,my niece,she is such a sweetheart,and my youngest nephew is still with his girlfriend,who he met online,just be careful on the dating sites,you never know who is on them,they could be crazy.

Agreed, I don't use them anymore for those reasons. Most of them are just a waste of time. It's difficult to get to know someone over the internet anyway. Not impossible, just difficult. And as a person who requires lot of personal attention in her relationships, that's just not the way for me!

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Christian is more like a label you put on your dating profile these days. No one seems to actually walk with Christ anymore.

True.
Be very careful.
Test everything long and patiently, don't believe anything until verified and proven truth.

 

[Citanul]

just be careful on the dating sites,you never know who is on them,they could be crazy.

And so could people you meet in real life. You have no way of knowing what sort of person someone who's a complete stranger to you is, and I don't think there's any correlation between what they're like and whether you met them online or offline.

 

[sunshine100]

And so could people you meet in real life. You have no way of knowing what sort of person someone who's a complete stranger to you is, and I don't think there's any correlation between what they're like and whether you met them online or offline.

yeah I know

 

[EyesOfKohl]

I wouldn't recommend online dating personally. The time you put into it would be better spent involving yourself and strengthening ties within your local community. Get involved in a lot of local church or Christian events, you'll meet a lot of people this way. Just my 2c

 

[MehGuy]

Not much fish in the sea for me, especially considering I can only fish in a smaller pond.

 

[Citanul]

I wouldn't recommend online dating personally. The time you put into it would be better spent involving yourself and strengthening ties within your local community. Get involved in a lot of local church or Christian events, you'll meet a lot of people this way. Just my 2c

Not necessarily. There's no one at my church who is single and remotely close to my age (and I'm not going to go to another church for the sole purpose of trying to meet women), and while I've been pretty active in two Christian Meetup groups for a while now, nothing has come of those other than the general socialising with fellow Christians.

There's no guaranteed way of meeting somebody, and online dating is just another potential one which is no better or worse than any other. And like all those other methods, it's going to work for some people and not others.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Not much fish in the sea for me, especially considering I can only fish in a smaller pond.

There's so many things I COULD say, but at this stage of my CF tenure, it'd be the LAST thing I'd say.

 

[blackribbon]

In the age bracket you are looking, majority of people are still trying to figure out how to be adults. And being barely out of their parent's homes, they are also sorting out what they believe versus what they "had" to believe when under their parents control. You are not likely to find "mature" Christians or "mature" men. A lot of people are sorting out what they think they believe with how they really are willing to live. It is an age to start figuring out who you are as an individual. It probably isn't the best time to pick your forever partner because both of you may be very different in 10 years.

And if you are finding out the men that interest you don't turn out to be strong Christian men, it is also time to take a closer look at what kind of men you find attractive...maybe you are attracted to men who are not likely to be the Christians you want them to be.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Are you in to oriental guys? I hear China's men demographic is exploding right now.

 

[MehGuy]

There's so many things I COULD say, but at this stage of my CF tenure, it'd be the LAST thing I'd say.

What?

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

im sure you've heard the saying, "give someone a fish; feed em for a day. teach somebody to fish; feed em for a lifetime. but there's a disparity. WHO OWNS THE WATERS!?!?!

If people don't even have access to the fish, how in the world are they supposed to manage. its a conspiracy.