I post on a marriage forum, and one of the questions recently came up about porn use. Mainly these threads are geared towards men viewing porn, but there are a lot of women who view porn, also. I personally wouldn't view it as cheating, unless...there were live interactions, and/or a personal relationship ensued from interaction through webcam porn, or something. That said, I don't believe that this is something that ''all'' men struggle with, but our society would make it sound like women should just accept men doing this, and get over it. lol Really demeans men, doesn't it?
But, back to what I was saying, there are women who view porn...and so my question is to the men here...if your wife was privately viewing porn, and leaving you out of it, and ''taking care of herself'' without you around...would you view it as cheating? Would it bother you?
I hope this ends up making sense.
My wife has told me in no uncertain terms that she would view it as cheating, and I agree with her. I get it. Because of my porn addicted past, I pray that she never will get into porn - because for me, it would possibly pull me back in (on top of all the many sin and ethical issues attached to porn) as the Lord used her as such a motivation to stop. However, I would be less devastated if she said 'Chris, I'm sorry, I watched porn' than if it was 'I cheated on you' - because (if it didn't go the sin route) that's something I know how to work on in staying away from, physical in person/with a person on cam/over text cheating though, that's a whole other ballpark. To porn, I'd like to think my immediate response would be support and prayer - to cheating, I know it wouldn't be, and it probably wouldn't be a good response.
I'd never ever recommend a couple or an individual to indulge porn together or apart. It violates the marriage bed and brings others in, violates black and white sexual sin issues, and can lead others down a very sinful path that just isn't worth it. (One type leads to another, leads to another, leads to another, possibly leading to talking/camming/etc. I cannot list examples here from my personal struggle, so if you would like clarification, feel free to pm).
If sexually explicit material is something you both think you'd enjoy, then heck, write your own stories featuring you and your spouse for you and your spouse, get private apps (they exist) where you can send your spouse a 'spicy' text or pic or vid (or whatever), or you could keep in on your private laptop to show them when they get home - and then they can [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] to it all they please (if you're okay with solo masturbation in your marriage). We live in a digital age which has made options for sexual intimacy with your spouse a lot more plentiful - so do that, and don't go to something that involves anyone else.
Heck, we live in an age where we can talk about sex and realise 'this one isn't black and white, this will lead to sin for you so don't do it, but it doesn't for us and my wife and I love it'.
Be open and communicative with your spouse about your thoughts and fetishes, get those out, don't dwell on them so they become a porn temptation. Pray over them, and hopefully you both will enjoy them.
Hope this made sense.
