Should I come out to my parents?

[ChristianR_]

Just to clarify, I'm not gay or bi.

So I've been an atheist for at least 8 months now. Both my parents, and my sister are religious, but none of them know. I'm not looking to convert my family or anything. I don't really care what they believe, but I'm sick of pretending to be something I'm not. They are extremely religious, so that is partly why I haven't told them. I'm afraid they won't be understanding. I feel like they'd be watching me 24/7 and restricting me from anything that potentially could have convinced me to be atheist to begin with. The other thing is that I'd hate for them to believe that I'm going to Hell. They really are great people and I'd feel cruel for breaking their hearts like that.

What should I do, and how should I go about it?

 

[Dominic Lodi]

When you say your family is "religious," what does that entail?

I know that you're convinced that there is no God and that your family is in the wrong, but before thinking that, maybe you should try to prove to yourself that your theory is correct. For all you know, your family may be on this same website writing about you and how you don't understand their "truth." I am a Christian, I don't know what "religion" your family believes in. If it's something crazy like Buddhist where they worship idols then I can see where you're confused and convinced that a God doesn't exist. I have been raised in a Christian home all my life, you could say that my parents brainwashed me into believing in "a god" but they never did pressure me to become a Christian, through God I made that choice. That is truly what sets Christianity apart from other beliefs. I encourage you to look into Christian beliefs and the Bible, maybe attend a local church to see what it's all about. Whether this text has an affect on you or not, you need to realize that your family is in the same situation as you as far as believing that your in the wrong and in need of transformation, so you need to be willing to hear their side of things.

 

[Northbrook]

Well, C.S. Lewis, in his Mere Christianity, said that if a young man who has been going to church with his family starts to become a questioner and stops going to church for a while, then that is almost better than never becoming a seeker/questioner. In my opinion, nobody should just stay in the religion into which they were born without investigating the other religions of the world. That said, I believe it is a true statement in the Bible that if you seek, you will find. So don't term yourself an atheist. Term yourself a SEEKER. It's a big world out there! Keep investigating the various religions. And I will pray for you that you come back to Christianity. God bless you!

 

[ChristianR_]

When you say your family is "religious," what does that entail?

I know that you're convinced that there is no God and that your family is in the wrong, but before thinking that, maybe you should try to prove to yourself that your theory is correct. For all you know, your family may be on this same website writing about you and how you don't understand their "truth." I am a Christian, I don't know what "religion" your family believes in. If it's something crazy like Buddhist where they worship idols then I can see where you're confused and convinced that a God doesn't exist. I have been raised in a Christian home all my life, you could say that my parents brainwashed me into believing in "a god" but they never did pressure me to become a Christian, through God I made that choice. That is truly what sets Christianity apart from other beliefs. I encourage you to look into Christian beliefs and the Bible, maybe attend a local church to see what it's all about. Whether this text has an affect on you or not, you need to realize that your family is in the same situation as you as far as believing that your in the wrong and in need of transformation, so you need to be willing to hear their side of things.

My family is Christian. Sorry, should've specified. I'm not convinced that there is no God. I'm just not convinced there is a God. Think of a gumball machine. To me religions are like that. All these different people are claiming there is a different amount of gumballs in the machine. But they offer no evidence or reason I should believe that there is X amount of gumballs, so I don't. Doesn't mean I believe they are wrong, I just don't believe they are correct. I have seen no evidence for God's existence, so thus I have no reason to believe in it. I am a teenager, and none of my family knows I'm atheist. That's the thing. I want to know if I should tell them I'm atheist. I attend church every Wednesday and Sunday and have decent knowledge of the Bible.

 

[ChristianR_]

Well, C.S. Lewis, in his Mere Christianity, said that if a young man who has been going to church with his family starts to become a questioner and stops going to church for a while, then that is almost better than never becoming a seeker/questioner. In my opinion, nobody should just stay in the religion into which they were born without investigating the other religions of the world. That said, I believe it is a true statement in the Bible that if you seek, you will find. So don't term yourself an atheist. Term yourself a SEEKER. It's a big world out there! Keep investigating the various religions. And I will pray for you that you come back to Christianity. God bless you!

Thanks for the advice. I really like your opinion on religion. I don't really think I'm a seeker, though. To be honest, I don't want to be a part of any religion. I'm actually hoping no one can prove to me that any god is real. I like the freedom and not believing there's someone always breathing down my back just waiting for me to mess up. But if someone can prove their god is real (for whatever religion), then I'll accept the evidence and become saved. But I'll think about what you have said anyway. I'll look at what other religions are out there, too. Maybe I am a seeker and just in denial, lol.

 

[Strathos]

I like the freedom and not believing there's someone always breathing down my back just waiting for me to mess up.

That's now how God is. We've all already 'messed up' but God loves us and will forgive us anyway.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Just to clarify, I'm not gay or bi.

So I've been an atheist for at least 8 months now. Both my parents, and my sister are religious, but none of them know. I'm not looking to convert my family or anything. I don't really care what they believe, but I'm sick of pretending to be something I'm not. They are extremely religious, so that is partly why I haven't told them. I'm afraid they won't be understanding. I feel like they'd be watching me 24/7 and restricting me from anything that potentially could have convinced me to be atheist to begin with. The other thing is that I'd hate for them to believe that I'm going to Hell. They really are great people and I'd feel cruel for breaking their hearts like that.

What should I do, and how should I go about it?

Just give them a special showing of Gorillaz' video, "Clint Eastwood," tell them that you really dig the message and the music, and let the chips fall where they may. Does that sound like a good plan? (I'm just asking since, as a father of a 21 year old son, if my son were in your shoes, I'd rather just have him come right out with it.........! )

 

[Daniel Marsh]

Take your Dad aside and talk with him about it.

 

[Seun]

-

 

[Tom 1]

Just to clarify, I'm not gay or bi.

So I've been an atheist for at least 8 months now. Both my parents, and my sister are religious, but none of them know. I'm not looking to convert my family or anything. I don't really care what they believe, but I'm sick of pretending to be something I'm not. They are extremely religious, so that is partly why I haven't told them. I'm afraid they won't be understanding. I feel like they'd be watching me 24/7 and restricting me from anything that potentially could have convinced me to be atheist to begin with. The other thing is that I'd hate for them to believe that I'm going to Hell. They really are great people and I'd feel cruel for breaking their hearts like that.

What should I do, and how should I go about it?

Seems important to talk to them about it, maybe just break it to them gradually, talk about some doubts you have about particular points of the faith and go from there, explaining your doubts - might make it easier for them to understand why you lost your faith if there’s a kind of extended dialogue involved. Or maybe start with questions about specific issues if they are willing to discuss. That way your parents can have some understanding of why your views have changed, rather than getting the impression that you have lost your faith overnight, without knowing why.

 

[2tim_215]

My family is Christian. Sorry, should've specified. I'm not convinced that there is no God. I'm just not convinced there is a God. Think of a gumball machine. To me religions are like that. All these different people are claiming there is a different amount of gumballs in the machine. But they offer no evidence or reason I should believe that there is X amount of gumballs, so I don't. Doesn't mean I believe they are wrong, I just don't believe they are correct. I have seen no evidence for God's existence, so thus I have no reason to believe in it. I am a teenager, and none of my family knows I'm atheist. That's the thing. I want to know if I should tell them I'm atheist. I attend church every Wednesday and Sunday and have decent knowledge of the Bible.

I'm glad you explained a bit more. Based on what you're telling us, you're not really an atheist, which is a good thing. You're actually what's known as an agnostic which means that it's not that you don't necessarily believe that there's a God, but if there is, you don't know who he is or what religion you might want to be in. You said you come from a religious family, well that's probably part of the problem. Relatives and family have a tendency to be a bit overwhelming at times.

You see, in religion general is not necessarily good and the truth of it is, if Christianity is practiced properly it's not really a religion (although usually characterized that way). True and pure Christianity is about a person, and that person is Jesus Christ. Learn about Him and you learn about God. Then make your decision about what you want to believe in. The problem is that any religion, Christianity included becomes too mechanical, repetitious and sometimes too repetitious which actually may turn people away from it.

Faith is the substance things hoped for and evidence not seen (Hebrews 11:1). So the question is what is it that you hope for? And when you try and answer that question, don't think of just now and the immediate future, but think of the future eternity. You know there is one? If you believe (as an atheist might) that when you die you are just dead that's one thing. There's not much hope there, is there. There's got to something much better than that, doesn't there?

And then ask yourself what is the evidence that can''t be seen Have you ever seen a miracle? I'm sure that if you haven't seen one yet, you will some day. When you see or hear of a miracle, that's evidence of God. There's been miracles since the beginning of time. Faith should not be blind as some may think, and you should ask questions, that's normal.

If you decide to become a Christian, it should be your decision based on your experience and of course your desire. And of course, your family means well, so it's good you have consideration for them. So I'd hold off for the time being in saying anything to them. Give it some more time and search things out a bit more before you come to a final conclusion. Hope this helps.

 

[ChristianR_]

I'm glad you explained a bit more. Based on what you're telling us, you're not really an atheist, which is a good thing. You're actually what's known as an agnostic which means that it's not that you don't necessarily believe that there's a God, but if there is, you don't know who he is or what religion you might want to be in. You said you come from a religious family, well that's probably part of the problem. Relatives and family have a tendency to be a bit overwhelming at times.

You see, in religion general is not necessarily good and the truth of it is, if Christianity is practiced properly it's not really a religion (although usually characterized that way). True and pure Christianity is about a person, and that person is Jesus Christ. Learn about Him and you learn about God. Then make your decision about what you want to believe in. The problem is that any religion, Christianity included becomes too mechanical, repetitious and sometimes too repetitious which actually may turn people away from it.

Faith is the substance things hoped for and evidence not seen (Hebrews 11:1). So the question is what is it that you hope for? And when you try and answer that question, don't think of just now and the immediate future, but think of the future eternity. You know there is one? If you believe (as an atheist might) that when you die you are just dead that's one thing. There's not much hope there, is there. There's got to something much better than that, doesn't there?

And then ask yourself what is the evidence that can''t be seen Have you ever seen a miracle? I'm sure that if you haven't seen one yet, you will some day. When you see or hear of a miracle, that's evidence of God. There's been miracles since the beginning of time. Faith should not be blind as some may think, and you should ask questions, that's normal.

If you decide to become a Christian, it should be your decision based on your experience and of course your desire. And of course, your family means well, so it's good you have consideration for them. So I'd hold off for the time being in saying anything to them. Give it some more time and search things out a bit more before you come to a final conclusion. Hope this helps.

I've heard/seen plenty of "miracles". But I don't believe God has done any of them. I've seen plenty of people get better after being prayed for, just as I have seen many people get worse or die after being prayed for. And just because we don't know how else someone could have gotten better, doesn't necessarily prove that God did it. It's an argument of ignorance fallacy. I guess I might be agnostic, but I've seen plenty of other atheists who think the same way I do about whether or not there is a god with the whole gumball analogy so the line kind of gets muddled. I definitely do claim disbelief in God, which goes against the definition of agnosticism, and I perfectly apply to the definition of atheism, where it's disbelief/lack of belief in a god. I'm just more curious/open minded to religion than a lot of other atheists, I guess. I probably will wait until the end of the week before I tell them. Maybe somebody in this forum will say something to me that convinces me to become a Christian again?

 

[Albion]

.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I've heard/seen "miracles" plenty. But I don't believe God has done any of them. I've seen plenty of people get better after being prayed for, just as I have seen many people get worse or die after being prayed for. And just because we don't know how else someone could have gotten better, doesn't necessarily prove that God did it. It's an argument of ignorance fallacy. I guess I might be agnostic, but I've seen plenty of other atheists who think the same way I do about whether or not there is a god with the whole gumball analogy so the line kind of gets muddled. I definitely do claim disbelief in God, which goes against the definition of agnosticism, and I perfectly apply to the definition of atheism, where it's disbelief/lack of belief in a god. I'm just more curious/open minded to religion than a lot of other atheists, I guess. I probably will wait until the end of the week before I tell them. Maybe somebody in this forum will say something to me that convinces me to become a Christian again?

Actually, ChristianR_, I wouldn't get too reliant on the Gumball Machine Analogy...

 

[ChristianR_]

Actually, ChristianR_, I wouldn't get too reliant on the Gumball Machine Analogy...

Of course, not. Religion is obviously much more complicated than that. It's just something I like to use when someone seems a little confused on what atheism is and how believing something doesn't exist is a completely different thing from not believing something exists.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Of course, not. Religion is obviously much more complicated than that. It's just something I like to use when someone seems a little confused on what atheism is and how believing something doesn't exist is a completely different thing from not believing something exists.

Ok. That sounds reasonable.

Now, about your OP. I just noticed that you placed your thread in the "Pastor's kid" section of the forums, but you only mentioned in your post that your parents are "religious." So, are you a pastor's son? And if so, which denomination are we talking about, CR_?

 

[ChristianR_]

Ok. That sounds reasonable.

Now, about your OP. I just noticed that you placed your thread in the "Pastor's kid" section of the forums, but you only mentioned in your post that your parents are "religious." So, are you a pastor's son? And if so, which denomination are we talking about, CR_?

Yes, my father is a pastor. He is non-denominational.

 

[NolaB123]

Just to clarify, I'm not gay or bi.

So I've been an atheist for at least 8 months now. Both my parents, and my sister are religious, but none of them know. I'm not looking to convert my family or anything. I don't really care what they believe, but I'm sick of pretending to be something I'm not. They are extremely religious, so that is partly why I haven't told them. I'm afraid they won't be understanding. I feel like they'd be watching me 24/7 and restricting me from anything that potentially could have convinced me to be atheist to begin with. The other thing is that I'd hate for them to believe that I'm going to Hell. They really are great people and I'd feel cruel for breaking their hearts like that.

What should I do, and how should I go about it?

Hi - just wondering. Have you ever had your own personal relationship with Jesus? or did you just go along with it because thats what your parents did? Would you say you ever really knew Jesus?

 

[NolaB123]

My family is Christian. Sorry, should've specified. I'm not convinced that there is no God. I'm just not convinced there is a God. Think of a gumball machine. To me religions are like that. All these different people are claiming there is a different amount of gumballs in the machine. But they offer no evidence or reason I should believe that there is X amount of gumballs, so I don't. Doesn't mean I believe they are wrong, I just don't believe they are correct. I have seen no evidence for God's existence, so thus I have no reason to believe in it. I am a teenager, and none of my family knows I'm atheist. That's the thing. I want to know if I should tell them I'm atheist. I attend church every Wednesday and Sunday and have decent knowledge of the Bible.

Hi - If you are not sure whether there is/isnt a God then you are an agnostic. An agnostic will believe in God if it can be proven to them. Atheist just outright believe and say proudly that there is no God and those who believe are narrow minded and need a crutch.

 

[Strathos]

Hi - If you are not sure whether there is/isnt a God then you are an agnostic. An agnostic will believe in God if it can be proven to them. Atheist just outright believe and say proudly that there is no God and those who believe are narrow minded and need a crutch.

Well technically that's untrue, as I often hear it explained like this:

- A gnostic theist is convinced that there is a God
- An agnostic theist believes there is a God but isn't sure
- An agnostic atheist (which most of them seem to be) doesn't believe there is a God but isn't sure
- A gnostic atheist is convinced there is no God