I don't find it all that helpful, no matter how well-meaning people are, to just simply tell or demand that someone who is hurting should forgive (which usually means 'forget') and then list a few passages to support their position - usually out of context. This could easily create mental health issues if the victim still feels tormented and angry and their feelings are suppressed as they add to that pain the burden of continued wrongdoing in the eyes of God to worry about. Those feelings need to be acknowledged and treated as well, otherwise forgiveness will be impossible and possibly ruin their relationship with God when they find that God is harsh and unyielding and it is easier to just not follow Jesus at all. I think it is far more helpful to contextualise what it means to forgive someone who has abused them. From what I have been taught, a spirit of forgiveness that God demands of us means to pardon and to overcome the pain that gives rise to that forgiveness too, and in doing so to grow closer to Jesus and be more like him. I think that in our pain it is helpful to realise that God is steadfast and faithful at all times. God sees the sin of the world and the sin in all our hearts and actions when we stumble and fail to follow his path at all times and be more like him in return for his ultimate sacrifice on the cross to make us righteous as a matter of status. We don't deserve what Jesus has given us - not ever. yet God never fails us, yet we fail him all the time. Yet when he remains faithful even when we stray from him and do wrong, he will gladly welcome us back into the fold when we repent and try again. That is the key to forgiveness of other people too who have hurt us. If you tackle the abuser head on, are they repenting of how they have hurt you? If not, because they are of an evil heart and never would do, then the best thing to do to comfort yourself and to make forgiveness more likely and sustaining without suppressing the pain of what they have done to you is to realise that unless they too repent they will never be right with God but you will be if you forgive them for what they have done and still do. Furthermore, because God is faithful to you, how much easier it is for you to not allow your abuser to continue to torment and anger you. If God can remain faithful when so many lose faith in him at times and blame him for things that come from the world, turn away from him and backslide and yet welcome them back then he will surely give you the strength to do the same to your abuser. God never expects more of us than he can give of himself. Bask in the magnitude of God's forgiveness of our sins makes it far easier for us to forgive the relatively minutae sins of those who transgress against us, particularly when we know they have to repent or find themselves ousted from God's kingdom with no everlasting life after death. Therefore to forgive the wrong-doer is to invest in your relationship with Jesus - and investment your abuser will never reap the dividends of unless they too come to God, repent and help you heal from their past transgressions. If that doesn't make you feel better, what does?