God has disappointed me.

[peeday]

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?
If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.
Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"

Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."

Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!
I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?

I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.
I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate
I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook..
I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke...

Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference. I can't take anymore of this suffering.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?
If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.
Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"

Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."

Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!
I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?

I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.
I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate
I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook..
I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke...

Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference. I can't take anymore of this suffering.

Hello there. I'm very sorry that you're going through all this You have my empathy

 

[Joe Tan]

Believe the saying 'It could be worst'.

God Bless you and help you in Jesus' name, Amen.

And, God doesn't disappoint, His plan have a purpose, sometimes you have to suffer for a very long time.

Always be Honest, Kind and Upright, you will be fine at the end.
Pray constantly, and of course, work hard.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

This helped me.

 

[samir]

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?
If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.
Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"

Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."

Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!
I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?

I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.
I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate
I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook..
I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke...

Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference. I can't take anymore of this suffering.

I feel bad for you and hope your situation improves. I see this life as more of a test to determine who is worthy to receive eternal life who perseveres until the end. Christianity was illegal in the first couple centuries after Jesus and the early Christians were persecuted and tortured for their faith. Many were killed when they refused to renounce Christ. The blessings all come in the next life. Sometimes being wealthier is a curse because people don't feel the need to depend on God since all their needs are met.

If you can get through school, you'll have more opportunities. If you need food and other necessities, your church should be willing to help. If you're not satisfied with your current congregation, I'd try a few others before giving up on Christianity. Different denominations have different teachings and ways of looking at things. That's all I can think of for advice. Hope some of it helps.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?
If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.
Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"

Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."

Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!
I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?

I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.
I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate
I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook..
I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke...

Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference. I can't take anymore of this suffering.

You need to put it under the Blood. You need washed and cleansed in the Precious Blood of Jesus. As the song says: "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus".

 

[iwbswiaihl2]

There are many people in the same position of life and in these days there also are many who will try to prosper from those who feel hurt when others hurts. Wanting to do what we can to help whomever we can help, therefore, many people every day tell sad stories and later are exposed. Because this happens so many times, it is always best to get help from your local church family. Be wise as a wolf and meek as sheep. My prayer that I pray for you is that the Lord will lead you to a good local church family and those who know your situation. Are you in this type of church?

 

[rocknanchor]

For all the points made, where may I ask is oversight’s 2nd and 3rd opinion if all else is such a waist?

Briefly, since you are no longer interested in spiritual upkeep comments, three things result in our climbing out of any pit whatsoever this life can send you, and it is told we “must” do them to succeed,

1 We MUST believe He is and is a rewarder of those who wait

2 We MUST wait as long as He sees fit before He sends the remedy

3 We MUST endure till a road so narrow breaks into a new glorious morning​

Bleak situations can turn our heart away from Him, you MUST resist while understanding how to cope.

All such effort could well serve you better going to the prayer rooms here. Many un-heard are here and continuously make their way back and forth on these types of needs.

May God secure your way and confirm it for you by faith.

“Without faith it is impossible to please Him”, and He is exactly who you need.

 

[PeaceJoyLove]

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?
If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.
Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"

Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."

Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!
I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?

I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.
I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate
I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook..
I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke...

Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference. I can't take anymore of this suffering.

Keep crying out to God. Talk to Him. Continue to petition Him. Don't give up. He will come at the darkest night of our soul and lift us up. Even Jesus cried out from the cross, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

I went through a very similar to what you are describing and I was not hearing from God in the midst of my agony. But I cried out all the more asking Him where He was and telling Him all that I had done in seeking Him. I told Him I believed in His promises and that those who believed would never be put to shame. I told Him I couldn't do it anymore...and suddenly, I heard HIM...and HE said, "I know YOU can't, but I can." It was like a light switch went on within me and I have never been the same as I rely on HIM.

Many times, we pray to God about our situation, for Him to help, then promptly get up and start thinking about how to solve our dilemma. What WE are going to do to fix it and that is not leaving it in God's hands and accepting that "All things work together for good..." and that HE knows exactly what we need...but then WE get in the way and try to fix it and do what we think will make it right. Our own thoughts torture us trying to solve the problems. Leave it with Him after praying and know all things are in HIS hands...Trust HIM to do what HE said and step aside.

Don't give up...it is always darkest before the dawn.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

This reads like a Psalm, I mean, there are passages in the book of psalms that read just like your post. Know that God is not disappointed in you, and you are not alone.
.
The way the world works is based on human self determination, if there is kindness ... it is because humans decided to be kind .. if there is cruelty .. it is because humans decided to be cruel. And based on that it is either like heaven or hell to the eye that beholds it.
.
Because God has listened to me in the past, I'll ask him help you in a tangible way so you know that he's there with you. I'm not sure how he'll do it, but it is usually in a way that is needed.
.
In any case, I hope things get better for you and that you meet kind people on your path.

 

[celestialpearl]

You seem like someone who at least had faith in God...Did you ever pray for him to make you a better person? Stronger in faith? Closer to him? How do you know that these struggles aren't his answers to your prayers? Him sharpening and strengthing you.

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Romans 5:3-5

I empathize with you. Perception shapes our reality. I'll pray for you.

 

[Zertey]

I understand completely. I found myself asking those same questions. I considered suicide as well but I couldn't pull the trigger because I was afraid of where I would go after, and the life I would miss out on. I also understand how some churches wont help the broke. The church I used to go to regularly on Sunday didn't have real people, at church people would be your best friend but anywhere else they would pretend they wouldn't know you. I also went to a church that wasted nearly a million dollars on a stupid Gym building rather than helping the less-fortunate. Don't give up! you can push on! Things may be difficult now, but they can get better.

As for the scientific existence of God, you can ask me in a private message because explaining it in this thread would be very long

God bless.

 

[AservantofGodandthelordJC]

Trouble suffocates me. Worry entangles me. By night I can't sleep, by day I can't rest. The burden of suffering is intolerable. Where is God? Does He know, or are my prayers heard only by the wall? Is He near, or somewhere distant, only watching?
If It hurt enough to ask such questions, don't I deserve an answer.
Some people think that I don't. I'm sick, dying and have been deserted, they try to shush me. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. "Don't question God's ways; He might hear you." In my cry of anguish, don't I want Him to hear me? "It's probably for your own good." If I'm to be tormented for my own good, don't I get a say in the matter? "I'm sure there's a good reason." No doubt there is, but did I ask for a philosophical explanation? What I asked is "Where is God?"

Even worse are the people who say, "You're being unfair to God. It isn't His fault. If He could have kept your trouble from happening, He would have, but He couldn't. God is just as helpless as you are, and He weeps to see your sorrow." No. If God is really God, then He could have stopped it; if I'm suffering, then He could have stopped it but didn't. I may be baffled by Him, I may be frustrated by Him, but the God I want to hear from is the God who rules the world. I'm not interested in a God who is "not responsible."

Has God forgotten me? Does He hate me? Why does He seem to hide Himself? I am weary of my comforters, tired of His defenders. I want God to answer me in person. If only I could state my case before Him and hear His answer!
I wish I could say I believe in Jesus and that he loves me, but I no longer believe that. I've been through a lot of tragedy and now I find myself wondering if God even exists. If God loves me, why doesn't he show it?

I'm So Tired Of Struggling, I have been poor my whole life. i often feel like i don't fit in. Everything i see, read , or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes . The working poor are simply ignored.
I moved out on my own at 20 years old due to a bad family situation. Now at the verge of dropping out of school. Want to study but can't concentrate
I have, at times , resorting to selling my possessions and even blood to feed.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook..
I 'm tired of struggling just to get by. Life Sucks being broke...

Being dealing with suicidal thoughts for days now as my family has been thrown out of the house cos we cannot afford the rent no more, Mom is unwell and my kid brother have to drop out of school. I think God has got preference. I can't take anymore of this suffering.

First, suicide is a very bad idea because it will only cause your suffering to become manifest, much more intense, because when you enter the other side as a human, you still retain your free will but you are now in a realm that you are meant to be all powerful, so you will inadvertently create a hellish existence which is what hell is. In heaven, we go where Jesus resides, next to him in his domain, do you think you will have any semblance of a human there? It is inevitable that all will return there eventually, the amount of time you spend absent from God and suffering you endure is entirely your responsibility. (Though I do believe help is offered if you are lost, by the angel of death.)

Be thankful for what you do not have and it will come. God is not something that comes to you without your own effort, God is your natural state of existence, it is entirely your choice how close God is to you and when he comes it is instant, when you choose to forgive everything for anything no matter what. Be thankful for what you do not have and it will come. Calm seas never made a skilled sailor. You will be thankful for the strength suffering has afforded you. All suffering stems from the areas which you lack forgiveness.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[peeday]

What do you mean by you are "dying"? Are you ill?
"sick"

Yes, ulcer.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[peeday]

Are you taking medicine for it? Won't that heal in a couple of months or so of the medicine?

No. No medicine

 

[peeday]

Are you taking medicine for it? Won't that heal in a couple of months or so of the medicine?

No. No medicine

 

[peeday]

Are you taking medicine for it? Won't that heal in a couple of months or so of the medicine?

No. No medicine

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm