OK, good to know. That you are the male gives a lot more hope in your situation.
In general, men are very attractive to women when they pursue (effectively), whereas women are very unattractive to men when they pursue. You can pursue your wife to win her back.
You have two extremely urgent issues to resolve initially before you can work on anything else:
a) Do you engage in anger outbursts to your wife? Anger is an emotional reaction designed to punish the other person for their behavior, so it would include actual verbal outbursts, but also sarcasm, silent treatment, cutting comments delivered in a calm tone, etc etc. No matter what heroic measures you take to pursue your wife, her interest in you will not grow if you have anger outbursts.
b) Immediately - as in YESTERDAY - cease ALL contact with either of those two women that had caught your fancy or your friendship. Opposite sex friendships are ENORMOUS hazards to marriages as they very commonly lead to affairs. If you have an affair, you will set off a nuclear bomb in your already troubled marriage which will make the work to recover it exponentially more difficult. Your kids do not need playmates, they need an intact home. Stop all play mating activity and all fellowshipping with other moms. Cold turkey and right now. Do NOT pursue adult conversation with other females. Pursue that with your wife or with males.
The next question I have for you is about these two females. Can you describe how far your interaction with them went? Also, with these women, did you:
- discuss your frustrations about your wife
- talk about your marriage
Any suggestions on how to eliminate your wife's perception of these "affairs" would rest on your answers to these questions.