I just need answers and help from others.

[Struggles17]

I'm 17 and I've never really done one of these before but I need help. Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost two years now and we love each other very much. We feel as if God put us together considering what we've been through. We're really close and she's my best friend. She's a huge role model to me and she's brought me closer to God. We've been through more things than a normal couple should go through. We've both sinned in the past and have done some pretty bad things. Right now we're going through a huge rough patch and it's all because of my lying habit. I have a huge problem with compulsively lying and hiding the truth from her. I've done it so much in my life and its like second nature. I hate it beyond belief and want it to stop. As soon as it happens I feel really bad about it but I don't have the courage to confess. Eventually the guilt will eat me up so bad I'll finally tell her after she asks me several times. We've learned to forgive and trust God with our problems and she's came a long way. Me on the other hand I'm having a lot of problems with lying and sexuality. Sexuality used to never be a huge problem like it is now and it bothers me so bad. I feel as if my body is working against me because I don't want anyone else but my girlfriend (Referring to having sexual feelings towards other girls or being attracted to them). When my body works against me I get ashamed and I try to convince myself that nothing happened. I get too scared to tell my girlfriend and I keep it locked inside me. She knows about this problem and she asks me frequently if anything has happened. A few times I've told her the truth and it feels so much better afterwards. She's very helpful and guides me on the right path. But a lot of the time I get scared and my instincts kick in (Compulsively lie). I hate hurting her feelings when I tell her and I hate feeling like a pig. The lying is an awful ingrained sin that is really hard for me to control. We always say that the sexuality, lying, and fear is the Devil trying to take me away from God since we're getting so close to him. My ingrained sin is tearing my life apart and pulling me away from my girlfriend and more importantly God. We do bible study every night and pray before bed. I try to keep God on my mind throughout the day but it seems like the bad things always catch me off guard. I pray when things get bad and trust God fully but at times I get doubts and become scared of things happening. I just want to turn my life around and focus on the Lord and be a better person for my girlfriend. Any suggestions or help will be greatly appreciated, thank you.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Wow, Struggles. I can't believe no one posted an answer for you yet.

Listen. This is one of the tremendous downsides to being young these days. Kids, at least in the States, are not truly taught to begin preparing for marriage at an early age, so when their hormones kick in they're still not in a position to, yet physically they're dealing with bodies that are more than ready, and very tough to reign in; especially for the boys.

I feel your pain. But it seems to me like you should try to make some preparations to marry this girl if you're truly serious.

Do you feel like she's the one?

 

[sethrak]

I won't touch this one~it might explode

 

[Tolworth John]

(Referring to having sexual feelings towards other girls or being attracted to them).

I am sorry to say but every man who admires a pretty girl is at risk of his admiration decending into lustful thoughts. There is a very fine line between admiration and lust. You like the rest of us have to learn to stop admiring that girl before lust kicks/slides in.
You say your body betrays you, I supose you mean you have an errection, that is the natural concsquence of lustful thoughts.
So long as you are not actually having sex with other girls, confess your failures to God and limit the time you spend looking at any one girl.

Lying is harder as you have an ingrained habit.
Facing it is a first step, identifing why you lie is a second and changing the circumstances so you are less inclind to lie is a third.

May I suggest that you take a moment before you answer a question. If your first responceis to tell a lie, what is your second responce?

Change is going to be hard as people know you tell lies and in taking that moment to think before answering will be seen as ' he's concocting a lie!'
As you make the effort you will slowly loose the reputation of being a liar.

 

[Struggles17]

Wow, Struggles. I can't believe no one posted an answer for you yet.

Listen. This is one of the tremendous downsides to being young these days. Kids, at least in the States, are not truly taught to begin preparing for marriage at an early age, so when their hormones kick in they're still not in a position to, yet physically they're dealing with bodies that are more than ready, and very tough to reign in; especially for the boys.

I feel your pain. But it seems to me like you should try to make some preparations to marry this girl if you're truly serious.

Do you feel like she's the one?

Yes, I absolutely feel like shes the one for me and that's why this problem has been bothering me so bad. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post as well I appreciate it a lot.

 

[Struggles17]

I am sorry to say but every man who admires a pretty girl is at risk of his admiration decending into lustful thoughts. There is a very fine line between admiration and lust. You like the rest of us have to learn to stop admiring that girl before lust kicks/slides in.
You say your body betrays you, I supose you mean you have an errection, that is the natural concsquence of lustful thoughts.
So long as you are not actually having sex with other girls, confess your failures to God and limit the time you spend looking at any one girl.

Lying is harder as you have an ingrained habit.
Facing it is a first step, identifing why you lie is a second and changing the circumstances so you are less inclind to lie is a third.

May I suggest that you take a moment before you answer a question. If your first responceis to tell a lie, what is your second responce?

Change is going to be hard as people know you tell lies and in taking that moment to think before answering will be seen as ' he's concocting a lie!'
As you make the effort you will slowly loose the reputation of being a liar.

Thank you for the advice I'll keep it in mind and use it anytime something happens. I'm working really hard to put an end to this.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Yes, I absolutely feel like shes the one for me and that's why this problem has been bothering me so bad. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post as well I appreciate it a lot.

Well then I would:
A. Make sure she knew you feel like she's the one.
B. Let her know that if you two get married she might be less worried. Right now you're spending too much time apart.
C. Pray that the Lord makes a way for you two to be married.
D. Pray that He makes you a devoted husband (even in tough times). So devoted that you refuse to look at anyone else, no matter how beautiful they might be (it's not impossible. Pretty faces are a dime a dozen. A wife who loves you is in a completely different category altogether).
E. After you're married, pray that the Lord puts both of you in work situations where neither of you will face temptations. You might even ask if he could make a way so you worked together, or she stayed home. But let HIM decide that. Don't automatically assume anything, and ask your wife what she thinks, don't decide for her.

Best wishes, and while you are experiencing a very common problem many younger men experience, don't let that cause you to underestimate the threat. Take it seriously.

God bless, and you're welcome. I hope He uses as many people as possible to help you stay on the right path, and walk in the wisdom that will lead to you and your hopefully future wife being very happy together.

 

[Hidden In Him]

In case you read the above right away, please refresh the post, buddy.
I hate spell-checking so badly that sometimes I neglect to do it whatsoever, lol.

 

[Struggles17]

Well then I would:
A. Make sure she knew you feel like she's the one.
B. Let her know that if you two get married she might be less worried. Right now you're spending too much time apart.
C. Pray that the Lord makes a way for you two to be married.
D. Pray that He makes you a devoted husband (even in tough times). So devoted that you refuse to look at anyone else, no matter how beautiful they might be (it's not impossible. Pretty faces are a dime a dozen. A wife who loves you is in a completely different category altogether).
E. After you're married, pray that the Lord puts both of you in work situations where neither of you will face temptations. You might even ask if he could make a way so you worked together, or she stayed home. But let HIM decide that. Don't automatically assume anything, and ask your wife what she thinks, don't decide for her.

Best wishes, and while you are experiencing a very common problem many younger men experience, don't let that cause you to underestimate the threat. Take it seriously.

God bless, and you're welcome. I hope He uses as many people as possible to help you stay on the right path, and walk in the wisdom that will lead to you and your hopefully future wife being very happy together.

Thank you so much for your help, it means a lot to me. I hope you have blessed days to come.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Thank you so much for your help, it means a lot to me. I hope you have blessed days to come.

Thank you. That was very nice of you to say. I'm hoping so too.