Dying to self

[ByTheSpirit]

Very good

 

[jimmyjimmy]

How does one die to themselves? What practical advice would you give to someone seeking such advice?

You cannot die to self - unless you live through Christ. In other words, don't *try* to die to yourself without also abiding on Christ.

The source of your life is different now. It was you, and now it's Christ. Gal 2:20

 

[ByTheSpirit]

You cannot die to self - unless you live through Christ. In other words, don't *try* to die to yourself without also abiding on Christ.

The source of your life is different now. It was you, and now it's Christ. Gal 2:20

I agree but that is a very bland answer from scripture. Not that it is bad, I'm not saying that but there is no practicality to it.

What practical advice do we give someone who wants to die to themselves but can not seem to do so?

Such as "denying oneself" etc

 

[GandalfTheWise]

I appreciate your words! I do admit I am a tad impatient with most things and could use a great deal of it. I suppose I expected it overnight. I see people that seem to change instantly like that and thought if God did that for them, then why not me.
I am in bondage to fear. I am. Fear being a child of pride. I have a lot of pride in myself and it causes great harm to my walk with Christ. I want desperately to be rid of it, but suppose the best way is to continue praying and fasting as I have until the power of God breaks through on my behalf.

One thing to consider. Is pride the thing that God is most concerned about right now? Or is there something else that is the source of pride that needs to be dealt with first? Is pride a symptom of something else?

Some things in our life start from little seeds and keep growing like out of control weeds. Instead of hacking wildly at the leaves, we sometimes need to find the root and dig it out. Perhaps some things to meditate on are: When do you first remembering feeling prideful? Are there particular things that bring this feeling about? (For example, talking to certain people, being in certain situations, thinking about particular activities or accomplishments). It might be helpful to write down a list (be it mentally, on paper, or in a spreadsheet) over a period of days or weeks as you think of things. The idea is to see if a pattern emerges. There might be certain things that set it off for you. This might give you an idea of what triggers it or where it might have started from. I've found that God is often patiently (very very patiently) guiding us to these things, sometimes through scripture reading, sometimes through other people, sometimes an insight that pops into our hearts and minds.

For most of my life, I disliked accepting help from others (or even asking for help). Indeed, I viewed it as a virtue that I did not impose on people. I never realized this was a problem and God dealt with it in a seemingly roundabout manner by forcing me to deal with something seemingly unrelated. I've had major fear and anxiety issues dealing with dental things. I've almost passed out in dentist offices. It took decades, but I finally recognized that much of this had to do with fear of losing control. I didn't like having things in my life that I couldn't take care of myself. It was related to an issue of not feeling comfortable accepting help from others. When I started to view the dental hygienists and dentist as very helpful and pleasant women who were doing me a favor for something I couldn't do myself, and that they were happy to be helping me, I finally became comfortable accepting this. Suddenly, much of the fear and stress simply went away. Trying to fight the fear directly never went anywhere because it was a symptom. In the great scheme of things, this was a minor inconvenience. But it was symptomatic of something deeper that resulted in positive changes in others parts of my life when it was addressed. I'm now much more comfortable asking for and gratefully accepting help in all areas of my life. Instead of trying to do many things myself (that I was never meant to do), I've allowed people to do what they like to do and are good at.

Over the decades, I've observed that "instant changes" are usually a long time in coming and often happen when we don't expect them and in ways we don't expect. I've had some in my life and heard other people talk about them. I've noticed that they come in a few varieties. Some sins and shortcomings that cling to us have different causes that require different remedies. Sometimes our frustration is that we are applying the wrong remedy (sometimes for years). Been there, done that.

1. Sometimes sins and shortcomings that cling to us are a result of emotional or spiritual injury. This is something that needs to be addressed through healing of some type. No amount of beating ourselves up over it is going to bring healing. Sometimes that healing can be near miraculous and instantaneous, other times it's a process. A person who has suffered abuse may need long term counseling with a godly mentor and counselor. Other times, our own acts of forgiveness might bring healing. It might proceed in fits and starts with long periods of slow progress punctuated by sudden victories.

2. Sometimes sins and shortcomings that cling to us have a negative spiritual source. We may be in a situation with a lot of spiritual oppression we are only vaguely aware of. This might be a workplace, certain people in our social circle or family, groups we are part of, (sad to say once in awhile) churches or small groups. We may have been exposed to occult activity or other things at some point in our lives. Sometimes we simply need to leave these situations or people; sometimes prayer and fasting and spiritual warfare might be needed; sometimes it might be necessary to get special prayer from pastors and elders or others. Sometimes, there might be a miraculous deliverance (like the casting out of demons in the Bible) or it might be more subdued like leaving an unhealthy environment and starting to feel better as you recover.

3. Related to 1, sometimes we have lies embedded deep within our hearts. These are falsehoods that we believe about ourselves, others, or even God. There is an enemy and world that hates God and hates to see what God intends for each of us to be. There are no shortage of voices that will project lies into our lives at the point of our greatest vulnerability. These lies become so real to us that they become facts of life. "God could never love someone like you." "You'll never amount to anything.", "Give up your dreams to become a <fill in the blank>", "No one could ever love you." These usually don't so much result in explicit sins (though sometimes yes) but rather shortcomings where we end up constantly struggling in different ways. Speaking for myself, the biggest lie embedded in my life (for decades) was, "you don't know what you're doing." It's a long story, but this was a case of near instant healing that changed my behavior overnight when I suddenly realized it wasn't true and I suddenly cast it out of my heart. Within a few months, my entire family had commented on the changes they had seen. The solution to these lies is truth. Not just simply hearing truth from someone or reading it in the Bible, but when the truth becomes real to us and we embrace it within our deepest heart, not just as a fact to be memorized.

4. Sometimes sin and shortcomings are primarily due to a lack of maturity. Long-term spiritual growth might be the key to seeing some things fade away. We simply become spiritually stronger and can do more things than we could when we were spiritually weaker. This is a matter of hanging in there with consistently walking with God over time.

This was a very long-winded and roundabout way of saying that pride might be a symptom of something deeper that God wants to heal or change.

 

[GingerBeer]

How does one die to themselves?

Death to self starts with thinking less about one's self.

 

[LadyCrosstalk]

How does one die to themselves? What practical advice would you give to someone seeking such advice?

The larger Christ looms in your life, through reading the Bible, praying and being in fellowship with other Christians, the less of self, by comparison. John the Baptist said, "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less." (John 3:30 NLT) The more of Christ in me, the more ready I am to abandon myself to His Holy Spirit. Amen?

 

[motsog]

Fast/Meditate on God's Word/Pray...the Holy Spirit will mortify the deeds of the body.
Rom 8:13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

 

[PeaceJoyLove]

I agree the ego and the "me" of myself has to die... but that is exactly my question... how? I have prayed, I have fasted, I have done everything I can think of within scripture and I seem no more closer than when I started. I still look out for #1, me. Now surely just me being this upset about it is progress in itself, but I am tired of living for me, I want to "Take up my cross everyday" to follow him but... just. Can't. And my prayers it seems are falling on deaf ears.

You are being made aware of these things (I'd say) by the Holy Spirit. HE is bringing these things to your attention. You can see in scripture what we are to be and find you are missing the mark...you are HEARING and SEEING by the grace of God. Now, what you do with that revelation is YOUR choice. You can call out to God in repentance and ask HIM to come give you the power and strength to overcome those sins.

The revelation by the spirit is wonderful! Now, the onus is on you to come to HIM and cry out because you see the weakness of your flesh and its inability to overcome. HE promised to send a HELPER...John 14:15-16 Psalm 37:5 Psalm 34:6

When we cry out to HIM, repenting of those things with a knowing of our own weakness and inability to accomplish what we KNOW (by HIS grace) we should be doing...HE comes and IS the power we need to overcome sin. So rejoice that HE has revealed and convicted your heart...respond to HIM...HE is calling you to come nearer.

 

[DeerGlow]

I do listen quite a bit in prayer... I agree with you. I want to communicate with God more than just yap his ear off. Great bit of advice

I feel like I don't. Not like I used to. I'm so anxious now. I pray quickly and end it before too many thoughts pop in.

 

[Dr Bruce Atkinson]

I agree but that is a very bland answer from scripture. Not that it is bad, I'm not saying that but there is no practicality to it.

What practical advice do we give someone who wants to die to themselves but can not seem to do so?

Such as "denying oneself" etc

Yes. It is not so much the "what" we are to do or even "why" that leaves believers with a question, it is the "how."

For Jesus makes it a command to take up our cross and follow Him, and Paul makes it a command for “those who belong to Christ Jesus" to "put to death their human nature, with all its passions and desires.” (Galatians 5:24, TEB)

So how do we do that? Jesus said that we can do nothing of ourselves but must abide in Him to bear fruit (John 15). So first we must pray and stay very close to the Lord-- as much as humanly possible for us. Stay in the Word, hang out with mature believers, read commentaries and devotional literature. These practical things will empower us to have the courage to carry our cross and to do what Paul said, to strongly resist (in fact, "put to death") our fleshly and ego desires which are not spiritually motivated. We should study all we can about resisting temptation. But mostly pray.

It is spiritual warfare that we are engaged in down here; our difficulties are temporary and the Lord has already won the war for us, but we must do our little part in fighting our personal battles (see Ephesians 6). As we live in the Spirit, there will be little room for the old selfish ego to assert itself. It must die, but on earth it will do so "not with a bang, but a whimper". When we our bodies eventually die, and when we are resurrected, then the "old selfish self" will no longer trouble us. Dead for good. So we might as well reckon it dead now.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I feel like I don't. Not like I used to. I'm so anxious now. I pray quickly and end it before too many thoughts pop in.

Something that God has really shown me is the simplicity in prayer.

Honestly, I used to pray for hours and would talk for most all of it, then when I ran out of the things to pray for I would say amen and be proud of the length of time I prayed for. Then the Spirit showed me a better way...

Really, prayers are not how much we pray, (Quantity) but how we pray (Quality)

Now I start my prayers by thanking God for the ability to approach him in prayer through Jesus and I ask the Spirit to lead my thoughts and prayers. Then I sit quietly and wait until I either hear or feel the Spirit showing me how to pray. I may pray in tongues if a considerable amount of time passes between such, but I spend most the time now listening and when I do speak it is rather a very simple yet specific request.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I feel like I don't. Not like I used to. I'm so anxious now. I pray quickly and end it before too many thoughts pop in.

Duplicate post

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Duplicate post...

 

[ByTheSpirit]

You are being made aware of these things (I'd say) by the Holy Spirit. HE is bringing these things to your attention. You can see in scripture what we are to be and find you are missing the mark...you are HEARING and SEEING by the grace of God. Now, what you do with that revelation is YOUR choice. You can call out to God in repentance and ask HIM to come give you the power and strength to overcome those sins.

The revelation by the spirit is wonderful! Now, the onus is on you to come to HIM and cry out because you see the weakness of your flesh and its inability to overcome. HE promised to send a HELPER...John 14:15-16 Psalm 37:5 Psalm 34:6

When we cry out to HIM, repenting of those things with a knowing of our own weakness and inability to accomplish what we KNOW (by HIS grace) we should be doing...HE comes and IS the power we need to overcome sin. So rejoice that HE has revealed and convicted your heart...respond to HIM...HE is calling you to come nearer.

I agree and I do know that just the impulses I am getting about these things is proof that the Spirit is speaking to me... Just hard to deal with. If you saw one of my earlier posts, I know I have A LOT of pride and that causes me to think I should overcome these things quicker than is happening, but by God's grace will get better.

 

[DeerGlow]

Something that God has really shown me is the simplicity in prayer.

Honestly, I used to pray for hours and would talk for most all of it, then when I ran out of the things to pray for I would say amen and be proud of the length of time I prayed for. Then the Spirit showed me a better way...

Really, prayers are not how much we pray, (Quantity) but how we pray (Quality)

Now I start my prayers by thanking God for the ability to approach him in prayer through Jesus and I ask the Spirit to lead my thoughts and prayers. Then I sit quietly and wait until I either hear or feel the Spirit showing me how to pray. I may pray in tongues if a considerable amount of time passes between such, but I spend most the time now listening and when I do speak it is rather a very simple yet specific request.

I can't speak tongues. It makes me uncomfortable when people suggest it because we don't control spiritual gifts?? I just feel like I don't listen enough because I'm scared or feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes.

 

[PropheticTimes]

Allow me to recommend the book Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray. It has been the biggest help for me in regards to this topic.

 

[Dr Bruce Atkinson]

I can't speak tongues. It makes me uncomfortable when people suggest it because we don't control spiritual gifts?? I just feel like I don't listen enough because I'm scared or feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes.

Pray that God lead in your prayers; we hardly know what we need to pray for. But then you must be patient and wait before the Lord as quietly as you can. He IS there but He wants build your patience and faith. And quit with the excuses.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Allow me to recommend the book Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray. It has been the biggest help for me in regards to this topic.

I love this book! Actually I enjoy pretty much all of Andrew Murray's works... Wait on the Lord is a great one too!

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I can't speak tongues. It makes me uncomfortable when people suggest it because we don't control spiritual gifts?? I just feel like I don't listen enough because I'm scared or feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes.

You don't have to pray in tongues if you don't feel comfortable with it, I only mentioned it as I do.

Really God wants us to approach him in the most basic form possible. Be yourself and if you don't know what to pray for, then admit that to him.

Father, I am a bit confused and do not know what to pray for, but I humble myself before you and I trust your Spirit that lives within me to guide my thoughts and words to align with your will. And through Jesus' my prayers will be heard!

Or however you want to admit it. Remember, the Father knows everything that you need before you even ask him. Nothing we call out to him for or about surprises him, he just wants to see that we admit our need and dependence upon him.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I can't speak tongues. It makes me uncomfortable when people suggest it because we don't control spiritual gifts?? I just feel like I don't listen enough because I'm scared or feel like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes.

I can recommend you a book or a series of books that are very easy to read, they are very short and soooooooo helpful and insightful!

author of each is Andrew Murray and he wrote a ton on the subject of prayer and living in Christ. Each one of them helped me immensely in my walk with Christ!

One of the best I think would really help you would be "Waiting on God"

Some others by him:

With Christ in the school of prayer
helps to intercesion
abide in Christ

Please check them out