Do all adults have authority over all children?

[marineimaging]

There's still a confused teenager inside me, wondering who the heck my authority figures were supposed to be. I come from a highly unstable upbringing, and I'm diagnosed with PTSD as a result of it. My mother (married nine times, not including the live-in relationships she never made it to the altar with) expected me to obey some man she'd been dating for all of a day or two, as if he were my father. And then next year, a different one. If I questioned or resisted, her angry response was that he was an adult, and I was going to do as he says. This extended to giving him permission to punish as he saw fit, up to and including beating. Again, I'm talking about men we barely knew.

It was just mind boggling to me. If I was supposed to obey all men as if they were my father, then what was so special about my father? Why did God single out, obey your parents, if you're supposed to obey all adults anyway?

I can understand your having trouble with this. Your mother was not a responsible adult nor were the men she lived with. If you were told to obey them then your mother was using their presence as a crutch for her insecurities. These are NOT the elders the Bible refers to. The Bible is referring to Elders in the church or community who have been placed there by the community to act as judges and leaders. Respected for their insight and wisdom. Having a heart for God and His righteousness. Men who read scripture, are discerning and caring for the community, who desire to do good and be good. If this idea of these men stir a negative response in you then you can bet you have been impressed by Satan, the fallen angel, the devil who goes against all of God's teachings. God did not want us floundering around and gave us instructions. If you have trouble in your heart then go to the scriptures with a friend or a legitimate, Bible believing, Bible loving, Bible following pastor and take time to learn what the Word of God says about such things. And don't be mislead. The Word of God is ALL of the words, not some taken out of context.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

I'm not talking about in extreme situations. I hope it's obvious, nobody would expect a child to obey when some creepazoid says, "Get in my car and go for a ride with me."

Under ordinary circumstances, though, how much authority do adults have, simply by virtue of being adults? Teachers, scout leaders, etc., that's one thing, but perfect strangers? Would you issue a command to a child you don't know, and expect obedience? Or would you say it instead as a suggestion or request, but not as a command? Would it make a difference if there is a safety risk involved, IE telling them to stay away from that growling stray dog, as opposed to telling them to watch their language? At what times would you require your own children to obey the word of adults, just because they are adults? For that matter, does respect always involve obedience, or is it possible to respectfully decline to obey? And how long does this continue? In other words, is obedience to all adults still required of teenagers?

I am a retired teacher, the authority only goes as far as preventing them from hurting themselves or others ---- like in a store, telling them to stop running. It will also depend on how close of a community you live in. If everyone knows everyone else like in a small town. I grew up in a town where everyone went to the same church and was into everyone's business.

 

[Ken Rank]

I'm not talking about in extreme situations. I hope it's obvious, nobody would expect a child to obey when some creepazoid says, "Get in my car and go for a ride with me."

Under ordinary circumstances, though, how much authority do adults have, simply by virtue of being adults? Teachers, scout leaders, etc., that's one thing, but perfect strangers? Would you issue a command to a child you don't know, and expect obedience? Or would you say it instead as a suggestion or request, but not as a command? Would it make a difference if there is a safety risk involved, IE telling them to stay away from that growling stray dog, as opposed to telling them to watch their language? At what times would you require your own children to obey the word of adults, just because they are adults? For that matter, does respect always involve obedience, or is it possible to respectfully decline to obey? And how long does this continue? In other words, is obedience to all adults still required of teenagers?

Absolutely not! God made it so that the parent has authority over his/her own children. If I see a child acting out I can go to their parent, but I have no God given authority to deal with the child of somebody else UNLESS they grant me authority (i.e. as a teacher, mentor, etc.). How do you think a Christian parent would react if their child acted up on the playground and an atheist gave them a lecture on secular morality? You can see where that is an issue... and crosses the boundaries God has set up.

We don't talk much or teach much on authority and boundaries and we need to because we don't respect them as a whole.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I can understand your having trouble with this. Your mother was not a responsible adult nor were the men she lived with. If you were told to obey them then your mother was using their presence as a crutch for her insecurities. These are NOT the elders the Bible refers to. The Bible is referring to Elders in the church or community who have been placed there by the community to act as judges and leaders. Respected for their insight and wisdom. Having a heart for God and His righteousness. Men who read scripture, are discerning and caring for the community, who desire to do good and be good. If this idea of these men stir a negative response in you then you can bet you have been impressed by Satan, the fallen angel, the devil who goes against all of God's teachings. God did not want us floundering around and gave us instructions. If you have trouble in your heart then go to the scriptures with a friend or a legitimate, Bible believing, Bible loving, Bible following pastor and take time to learn what the Word of God says about such things. And don't be mislead. The Word of God is ALL of the words, not some taken out of context.

All good answers so far. This one especially resonates because I do have leftover problems with even my own authority sometimes. In my younger years, I was never allowed to make a decision for myself. May the Lord have mercy on me if I acted on my own and did the wrong thing. Therefore, I was conditioned to wait to be told what to do. That set me up perfectly for a first marriage to an abusive, controlling, drug-addicted man. It was just more of the same thing I was already used to.

As you might imagine, I had a lot of trouble with raising my children. I never could quite grasp the fact that I was allowed to make a decision. Sometimes my family even outright overruled me, such as when I told my children they couldn't watch some TV show that I didn't think was morally fit for kids. Just to spite me, family members would then have a laugh while making sure they did watch it. When I'd object, "Oh, it didn't hurt anything. You're being unreasonable." They'd compare me to my father, who had mental health issues and was reputed to be very controlling and micromanaging. They didn't do that to anybody else. They singled me out for it. Anybody else in the family who had kids was allowed to raise their own children. If those children also weren't allowed to watch that same show, it got respected, and not interfered with. A rule was only unreasonable if I made it.

That marriage is over, I have little to no contact with most of my childhood family, and God has given me a loving Christian husband. Nowadays, I don't work for a living. I am disabled for both mobility and psychiatric reasons, and my husband supports me. As such, sometimes I don't even feel right telling the cats what to do. "Get off the table." "No, you're not going outside. It's raining." And some little voice echoes in my head, "Well, listen to you trying to be the boss. Just who are you, miss high and mighty?"

 

[akmom]

I think it's appropriate for any adult to command children regarding established rules or laws that they are breaking. If you are not allowed to swim in the mall fountain, and you see children who are, you tell them to get out. Children aren't always aware of the rules. It may not be intuitive to them. They may not read signs. Do we really expect an authority figure to be hovering over them at all times? I think there is some assumption, generally, that other adults will pitch in on the little things. That's the difference between letting kids run around a little in the mall, but you wouldn't let them run wild in a vacant one. Because you know people are there and they can step in if needed, and they typically do.

Now I wouldn't think it appropriate to tell kids to stop throwing coins in the fountain, unless I'm their guardian. If I'm chaperoning a field trip I might decide it's a distraction and say no, but if I'm a mall patron it's none of my business. And I certainly wouldn't punish a kid for it. That's reserved for family members who have been given explicit permission to discipline, or authority figures who have been granted that responsibility within the hierarchy of our society's law enforcement.

I would say the standard is lower for very young children. If a toddler is wandering into the road or even straying from the playground, I retrieve them. I've had parents do the same when my young child wandered in front of a swingset being used. They feared she'd get kicked. I think it's within the social contract, but if you get a parent that takes offense, well then you just don't do it again with that particular child. But I think it's uncommon to have that response from a parent, so it wouldn't change my gut reaction unless I started encountering resistance from many parents. Then I might rethink my role as a stranger exercising authority over kids, because clearly it would not be in line with the culture if I was experiencing repeated negativity for it.

 

[JoeP222w]

I'm not talking about in extreme situations. I hope it's obvious, nobody would expect a child to obey when some creepazoid says, "Get in my car and go for a ride with me."

Under ordinary circumstances, though, how much authority do adults have, simply by virtue of being adults? Teachers, scout leaders, etc., that's one thing, but perfect strangers? Would you issue a command to a child you don't know, and expect obedience? Or would you say it instead as a suggestion or request, but not as a command? Would it make a difference if there is a safety risk involved, IE telling them to stay away from that growling stray dog, as opposed to telling them to watch their language? At what times would you require your own children to obey the word of adults, just because they are adults? For that matter, does respect always involve obedience, or is it possible to respectfully decline to obey? And how long does this continue? In other words, is obedience to all adults still required of teenagers?

Depends mostly on the circumstances.

Children should always respect those who are older than them. As a Christian, we are command to always consider other better than ourselves.

God is the ultimate authority for any given child.
God delegates His authority primarily to the parents of their child.
The parents have the authority to delegate other adults as authority figures in the child's life (e.g. Babysitters, Teachers, Pastors, Elders, Deacons, other caregivers when the Parent(s) are not immediately present).

All adults have the responsibility to protect children from harming themselves or others or from other harming them when the parent(s) are not in the immediate vicinity. If I was in a city park and I saw a 5 year old run out into a busy street and no sign of the parents or the parents are out of reach, I would call out to that child to stop, and if necessary physically stop that child before they run out into the street. If I saw that situation and did nothing, I would be accountable to God about why I did not do anything to help protect that child. If I ever saw a parent abusing a child, I would step in and stop them. I am not talking about spankings. Spankings are Biblical and spanking are not abuse.

I would require my children to obey other adults when it comes to safety or if I or my wife were not immediately present. I would never leave my child with adults that I do not know or do not trust.

Teenagers are required to obey adults that I or my wife have pointed out to them that those other adults are the authority figures in a given situation that my wife and I trust. A teenager is not a small adult. They are children until the father and/or mother tells them that they are adults. As a side note, "adolescence" is a nonsense term. A person is either a child (not mature enough to be completely responsible or not completely self sufficient) or an adult (mature, responsible, self sufficient and accountable).

 

[akmom]

LovebirdsFlying, I can't imagine why your family went to such lengths to invalidate you. I just can't fathom what threat it was to them to see you make decisions for yourself, especially after you were grown, but not feel that way about the rest of the family. Were you the oldest? Youngest? What a terrible dynamic. Heart-breaking to read how easily the mindset resurfaces, to where you even feel off about directing the cats. It kind of puts another post of yours in perspective... where you seemed abnormally tormented about whether to take initiative and discard old socks.

It's an enlightening glimpse into how deeply we influence our children, even though some of our influence comes from what we adults consider mundane. When my daughter was young, she wanted so badly to decorate an Easter basket. I don't know why, but her fascination with that one craft was so intense. She didn't generally seem interested in crafts. But every time we went to the store, she'd ask to get an Easter basket to decorate. We were swamped that year, and I never got around to it, though I truly meant to. The next year I let her pick out an Easter basket, but she didn't want to. Every year I offer her one, but she never wanted it again. Finally last year I got her a basket anyway, hoping she'd want to decorate it since we already had it. She refused. I asked her why she didn't want to, and she said that we had spoken harshly to her about it once that year she kept asking, and it crushed her so she never wanted to decorate an Easter basket again. I was so bummed. I don't remember being harsh, but that was a busy time and I may have come across that way. So sad, because I so badly wanted to enjoy that activity with her back then. It was so cute how much she wanted to do it, but I guess that is an opportunity missed.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Sad about the Easter basket. We all make mistakes. I remember ridiculing my oldest for being afraid of the needle when we went to get my children's ears pierced. The younger one was OK with it, but the oldest one balked, and I was frankly verbally abusive. My semi-subconscious thinking was that I had begged and begged to have my ears pierced when I was a child, and my mother wouldn't let me. Here I was, letting them do something I hadn't been allowed to do, giving them a privilege, and I'm getting resistance? I was utterly wrong.

One possible reason for the invalidation could have been the life script they wrote for me. My psychologist told me about the "identified patient" role in a dysfunctional family. They saw me as the one who's crazy and has mental issues and doesn't know what I'm doing, so they have to second-guess me. As long as they're keeping me crazy, they look sane by comparison.

I was the oldest of four, and the first grandchild on my mother's side of the family. My grandmother, in particular, did have a game going on. In her one individual case, it wasn't just me. I did see her subtly undermining other parents too. She didn't directly contradict them, as she did me, but she'd have a reaction of "Oh, pssssh," pretty much any time a parent took a strict tone with a child. She'd laugh behind the parent's back about how out of touch with the modern times Daddy is, and "Isn't he a stick in the mud?" That much was explained. Her agenda, according to my mother, was that she wanted to make sure she was every child's favorite grownup. She may be an old lady, but SHE is not behind the times! She's cool! She's their pal! When she herself was in charge, she didn't let children get away with misbehaving, but then she didn't back up the parent's rules when the parents weren't there. She was probably the worst offender about making sure my children did the opposite of what I told them, just so she'd look like she's more fun to be with. Laughed about it too, according to what they told me. The thing is, especially as she got older, people were more and more reluctant to call her out on that kind of thing.

As for the rest of the family, they may or may not have gone against me directly, but they argued with me about how there was nothing wrong with what I told them not to do, again comparing me to my very controlling father. Or they might "forget" what I said. "Oops, sorry. It slipped my mind that you told them they weren't allowed to do that."

Since my father was, to be honest, a rather extreme control freak with major anger issues, there may have been some sense of "Oh, no--we can't let her do as her father did, or she'll mess those kids up like her own upbringing messed her up," any time they saw me laying down the law. As my younger siblings started having kids too, I suppose they learned I wasn't so wrong after all, and the rest of the family didn't undermine my siblings as they had done with me.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

PS: Not too sure about the "either a child or an adult" thing. Does that mean a seventeen-year-old is on the same level with a four-year-old, and has the same amount of privilege and freedom? Because that would seem silly to me. How could the seventeen-year-old be left babysitting the four-year-old, if they're strictly equals?

 

[mcarmichael]

I'm not talking about in extreme situations. I hope it's obvious, nobody would expect a child to obey when some creepazoid says, "Get in my car and go for a ride with me."

Do you get to make the rules, though?
Because the obvious answer is no, based upon the example that you just cited. Hence my dubiousity.

In other words, you ammended your OP for the same reason that I am saying that the answer is obviously "No.", for the same reason. So, you really should ammend the OP. I hate to say it, but it seems like you're asking the wrong question. Which is soooo easy to do.

I'm sure that you have a good question, but I feel like this isn't it.

 

[JacksBratt]

I'm not a parent, but if I had children I wouldn't expect them to have to obey adults simply because their adults.

For that matter I would both expect and demand that adults don't assume authority over my child.

I'll give an example. Say I was at a local pool with my child. And an adult sees my child running and says "Careful, you don't want to slip and hurt yourself!". That would be fine, even if the person was a stranger. But the moment an adult says "Stop running!" in an authoritative way and they had no actual position of authority in that pool (wasn't a lifeguard or anything) - they've crossed the line and I'd definitely be angered.

Only parents/family/whoever the parents give permission to have those rights over their children are entitled to say things like that.

So, basically, it's the tone of voice and the way the message is presented? Both examples, you gave, are doing the same thing, warning the kids not to run.

I was born in 1962 and we, as kids, had respect for any adult. They could say "hey slow down your going to hurt someone or yourself" they could say "Hey kid, stop running" it would not matter. They were adults and they were to be respected. Some would be gruff, some would be kinder.

I still don't believe that we, in the 60's, respected adults as much as our parents did when they were kids.

I believe that every generation has lost a bit of respect for the authority of adults, teachers, leaders, city and government officials, police and clergy...

I believe that part of the problems in this world are this lack of respect for elders and people of public authority. Maybe there are more people to be wary of, but is this a direct product of the fact that these wacko's are from a generation that had less direction from elders in the first place?

It's a slippery slope. But, if I see a kid walking up the middle of a toboggan hill, while other kids come flying down... you can be sure I'm gunna tell the kid to get off the hill and walk up the side.... because someone is going to get hurt.

Better some kid, without the sense to walk up the side of the hill, gets his feelings hurt instead of a broken leg or concussion.

 

[FaithfulPilgrim]

I think all a adults should have authority over all children when into comes to safety, otherwise no.

 

[akmom]

I think it's generally a good policy for children to respect adult authority, assuming they have a good grasp of "stranger danger" and understand the difference between a command like "stop running" versus "get into my van." I mean, I don't see the potential for adults to abuse this. Are random adults going to be bossing other people's children around for no reason, or to their detriment? Presumably the child would consult a parent or guardian if there was some concern over the command. Unless you envision a situation where children are left unattended for hours and some stranger runs them ragged with errands or puts them in a long timeout for no good reason. Generally an adult would, in the immediate absence of a parent, ask a child to let the elders go first in a potluck line, or hold a door open for them, or assist a younger child with shoelaces. A respectful child will oblige, and a bratty one will say, "I don't want to!" or "I don't have to!"

So yes, I expect my children to obey other adults in general. Because adults in general will only do so to enlist a child in helpful tasks or correct errant behavior. If it's a shady situation or a shady person, then inform the child of the exception.

 

[Ada Lovelace]

Authority should be earned, not granted by virtue of age. I think it's dangerous for children and teens to be trained in the thought that all adults are entitled to power over them, because that has the potential for harm. Not just in the most blatantly nefarious of circumstances but in more subtle ones. If kids are under the belief that all adults are endowed with authority they are more likely to be exploited.

I'll cite an incident from last October as an example of an adult attempting to assert authority when he was not due it in an effort to manipulate a teen (me). While driving my friend's car on the way back from an out-of-state football game, a Lyft driver sideswiped me, causing considerable damage. After we pulled over and he was approaching the car I could see a shift in his strategy for how he was going to handle it when he looked at me and took in my age. I was already 18, but without any makeup on I look like I'm barely 16. He forcefully tried to put all the blame on me, and acted outraged when I stated the fact that he was the one who merged into my lane and hit us. He said that I had been driving for "all of five minutes" and didn't have a clue, but he drove for a living. According to his license he is 46. I told him I was calling the Highway Patrol to report the accident, and he tried to manipulate me into believing that if I did I would get a "big ticket" and my insurance rates would skyrocket. He said "little girl, you're making a huge mistake. You need to listen to me. You hit me." He said that everybody knew teen drivers were terrible. He then tried to act as if he was being generous by agreeing to just go our separate ways instead of reporting me.

When I stood my ground, he got inappropriately close and told me I needed to get back into the car, then when I didn't budge he ordered me to. That's when his passengers, an Australian couple who were also in their 40s, got out of his car to intervene. She obviously wasn't my mom, but she neverthless went into full mama bear protective mode. She was visibly furious and yelled at him "how dare you try to intimidate that child." Her husband went and stood between me and the driver and called the highway patrol. He actually put his arm out blocking the man when he tried to approach me again. The two of them had my friends and me stand with them away from the driver while we waited, and anytime he tried to approach told him to stay back and wait for the police. She went and got a sweater from her bag and wrapped it around my shoulders because I was shaking. I was extremely grateful to them.

I think adults should extend more care and concern to kids, and have a willingness to help and protect when appropriate, but that shouldn't equate to an expectation of obedience.

 

[akmom]

True, true. I was thinking more of young children. The potential of getting scammed in any manner of ways is a real concern, whether or not children are taught to respect adult authority. I imagine lots of kids would have been bullied into liability in that situation. Definitely something to think about...

My five-year-old was similarly taken advantage of by an adult in a much less serious situation. I gave her a $20 bill to buy a $5 raffle ticket to support a youth wrestling team. She knew how to make change and loved handling transactions at cash registers "all by herself." In stores, I was always with her, so there was no potential for mistakes. This time I stayed in my seat. I could see her, but I wasn't with her. She asked for one ticket and after she handed the lady a $20, the lady said she could not give her change. She had to accept 4 raffle tickets. I could see my daughter's confused expression and saw that she was trying to clarify something to the lady, but the lady shook her head and handed her 4 tickets anyway. My daughter came back crying that the lady stole her money. Can you imagine that? Stealing from a little five-year-old girl? I tried to go back up and straighten things out, but the lady recused herself from the stand abruptly, so I resorted to telling all the parents on the team about it so at least she'd have a reputation. We ended up winning some pretty cool stuff, but my daughter could not be consoled.

 

[CodyFaith]

So, basically, it's the tone of voice and the way the message is presented? Both examples, you gave, are doing the same thing, warning the kids not to run.

I was born in 1962 and we, as kids, had respect for any adult. They could say "hey slow down your going to hurt someone or yourself" they could say "Hey kid, stop running" it would not matter. They were adults and they were to be respected. Some would be gruff, some would be kinder.

I still don't believe that we, in the 60's, respected adults as much as our parents did when they were kids.

I believe that every generation has lost a bit of respect for the authority of adults, teachers, leaders, city and government officials, police and clergy...

I believe that part of the problems in this world are this lack of respect for elders and people of public authority. Maybe there are more people to be wary of, but is this a direct product of the fact that these wacko's are from a generation that had less direction from elders in the first place?

It's a slippery slope. But, if I see a kid walking up the middle of a toboggan hill, while other kids come flying down... you can be sure I'm gunna tell the kid to get off the hill and walk up the side.... because someone is going to get hurt.

Better some kid, without the sense to walk up the side of the hill, gets his feelings hurt instead of a broken leg or concussion.

You don't have the authority to stop those kids from tobogganing down a hill. Even if there's risks to themselves. If they were 3/4 and obviously so young that they were clueless and innocent, that's a different story. But to suggest you can go up to a group of 9/10 year olds who are acting recklessly willingly and physically stop them from doing so and exercising authority in that sense is ludacris and shows a very controlling personality.

It's interesting to note how many people in this thread who say they have these form of rights over other people's kids insist it's all about "community" and other things like that. We live in a wicked world, there are evil people in this world and I'm not just talking about people you see blasted in newspapers. There are some places like small towns where people are close knit yes, and where you would have the right to physically stop the kids because your close to them and their family and your connected to them like that. But not every town is like that, especially in this day of age and especially in cities.
You don't have authority over strangers children. You can call the police sure, inform their parents yes, but you have no moral or legal right to bark commands at children until they submit, intimidate children or use force with strangers children.

 

[CodyFaith]

Authority should be earned, not granted by virtue of age. I think it's dangerous for children and teens to be trained in the thought that all adults are entitled to power over them, because that has the potential for harm. Not just in the most blatantly nefarious of circumstances but in more subtle ones. If kids are under the belief that all adults are endowed with authority they are more likely to be exploited.

I'll cite an incident from last October as an example of an adult attempting to assert authority when he was not due it in an effort to manipulate a teen (me). While driving my friend's car on the way back from an out-of-state football game, a Lyft driver sideswiped me, causing considerable damage. After we pulled over and he was approaching the car I could see a shift in his strategy for how he was going to handle it when he looked at me and took in my age. I was already 18, but without any makeup on I look like I'm barely 16. He forcefully tried to put all the blame on me, and acted outraged when I stated the fact that he was the one who merged into my lane and hit us. He said that I had been driving for "all of five minutes" and didn't have a clue, but he drove for a living. According to his license he is 46. I told him I was calling the Highway Patrol to report the accident, and he tried to manipulate me into believing that if I did I would get a "big ticket" and my insurance rates would skyrocket. He said "little girl, you're making a huge mistake. You need to listen to me. You hit me." He said that everybody knew teen drivers were terrible. He then tried to act as if he was being generous by agreeing to just go our separate ways instead of reporting me.

When I stood my ground, he got inappropriately close and told me I needed to get back into the car, then when I didn't budge he ordered me to. That's when his passengers, an Australian couple who were also in their 40s, got out of his car to intervene. She obviously wasn't my mom, but she neverthless went into full mama bear protective mode. She was visibly furious and yelled at him "how dare you try to intimidate that child." Her husband went and stood between me and the driver and called the highway patrol. He actually put his arm out blocking the man when he tried to approach me again. The two of them had my friends and me stand with them away from the driver while we waited, and anytime he tried to approach told him to stay back and wait for the police. She went and got a sweater from her bag and wrapped it around my shoulders because I was shaking. I was extremely grateful to them.

I think adults should extend more care and concern to kids, and have a willingness to help and protect when appropriate, but that shouldn't equate to an expectation of obedience.

A great example.

 

[akmom]

But to suggest you can go up to a group of 9/10 year olds who are acting recklessly willingly and physically stop them from doing so and exercising authority in that sense is ludacris and shows a very controlling personality.

I think you mean ludicrous. Ludacris is a rapper.

 

[RDKirk]

Hm. I don't even like how that is worded, because "please don't" often implies the person has some sort of authority - like they're telling them flat-out "don't run around the water".

No, it doesn't. "Please don't" is shorthand for, "If you please, don't." There is nothing authoritative about it.

 

[RDKirk]

I've seen some variation on the issue. To some people, all adults can tell all children what to do, and it's not taking authority over them. They wouldn't have a problem with telling some kid they don't know at the pool, "Hey, stop running!" To them, it's not taking authority until you try to dish out a punishment. "If you don't stop running, you'll have to sit in a chair until I say you can get up," and you're not the lifeguard and you don't know that kid from a sack of sunflower seeds. That's when it's crossing the line.

I don't think I agree. I think even issuing the command is presuming authority.

Authority and responsibility go hand in hand in a well-ordered society. That's how it is spelled out in the military and how scripture explicitly sets it forth. A person who has authority over other persons or over things is also held accountable for them by a higher authority.

So in a situation in which a particular person is will be held accountable for the well-being or behavior of children, he should have commensurate authority over them.

But there are informal situations in which adults will be held at least morally accountable for the well-being of children even if he does not have formal authority over them. People will say, "You saw what was about to happen! Why didn't you say something! Why didn't you do something!" If moral accountability is presumed, then moral authority should also be assumed.