Hi,
I'm brand new to this forum. I read about a similar situation on this site, but my situation is a little different...
I've been in trouble for cheating in college before. I got put on academic probation for the remainder of my college career, but no specific consequence was given. But...you can guess the reason I'm here: I cheated again.
I finished my AA degree, then took six months off, then started another degree in the same school. I finished one quarter, then as I was starting the next (before even taking any tests) I got hit with "you cheated after they told you not to" (during the quarters between getting put on probation and when I got hit with the thought).
So, after wrestling with it for a while, I went in and talked to a counselor about it. I didn't give her the whole story, but she informed me that she needed to report the incident. We scheduled a follow-up appointment (which I had to cancel later) and then...Nothing. No communication from anyone, not even to reschedule my appointment (unless I missed something).
I'm scared that the details I left out would have been crucial to them "deciding my fate." I'd told her I hadn't cheated on tests, just plagiarized assignments, when in reality I HAD cheated on tests as well.
The thing is, I'm really hyper-sensitive towards cheating. I don't want to do it. I set up parameters for myself, making SURE I can't cheat. But I think back towards this one test, for example: it was online, I couldn't use the book, so I took it on the family computer, outside of my room and away from my notes and stuff. I never googled anything. But I had something written or scratched on my hand for aid.
I just...I'm stuck in this mess of "what I did wasn't really that bad" to "you need to go back in and confess again and leave nothing out."
I was at peace with this for awhile. For one, not hearing anything told me that "ok, well, they decided it wasn't that big of a deal." Also, I got more preoccupied with other OCD-like situations. For a little while I was scared to drive, because I was scared I'd hit someone. I tend to jump from one problem to the next, and the current problem kind of takes precedence over whatever it is I was worried about earlier. I tend to go through my "list of recent wrongs," worrying and obsessing over them until I know either a) they're not worth worrying about or b) I do something to fix them. I'm at peace for a bit, until something else comes up.
Well, I got my other problems taken care of, and now, after about a month, I'm back to this cheating thing. I am planning on changing my major (started that process around the same time I went in to talk to the counselor), so that hopefully few or even none of the classes I took earlier would even count towards my new degree, but even still...I have an AA degree that I haven't fully earned.
I want to do what God wants me to do. But I'm not sure what that even is. I know I did wrong, and I know I wasn't completely honest with the counselor when I confessed to doing wrong. But...they didn't get back to me at all. So...??
I'm brand new to this forum. I read about a similar situation on this site, but my situation is a little different...
I've been in trouble for cheating in college before. I got put on academic probation for the remainder of my college career, but no specific consequence was given. But...you can guess the reason I'm here: I cheated again.
I finished my AA degree, then took six months off, then started another degree in the same school. I finished one quarter, then as I was starting the next (before even taking any tests) I got hit with "you cheated after they told you not to" (during the quarters between getting put on probation and when I got hit with the thought).
So, after wrestling with it for a while, I went in and talked to a counselor about it. I didn't give her the whole story, but she informed me that she needed to report the incident. We scheduled a follow-up appointment (which I had to cancel later) and then...Nothing. No communication from anyone, not even to reschedule my appointment (unless I missed something).
I'm scared that the details I left out would have been crucial to them "deciding my fate." I'd told her I hadn't cheated on tests, just plagiarized assignments, when in reality I HAD cheated on tests as well.
The thing is, I'm really hyper-sensitive towards cheating. I don't want to do it. I set up parameters for myself, making SURE I can't cheat. But I think back towards this one test, for example: it was online, I couldn't use the book, so I took it on the family computer, outside of my room and away from my notes and stuff. I never googled anything. But I had something written or scratched on my hand for aid.
I just...I'm stuck in this mess of "what I did wasn't really that bad" to "you need to go back in and confess again and leave nothing out."
I was at peace with this for awhile. For one, not hearing anything told me that "ok, well, they decided it wasn't that big of a deal." Also, I got more preoccupied with other OCD-like situations. For a little while I was scared to drive, because I was scared I'd hit someone. I tend to jump from one problem to the next, and the current problem kind of takes precedence over whatever it is I was worried about earlier. I tend to go through my "list of recent wrongs," worrying and obsessing over them until I know either a) they're not worth worrying about or b) I do something to fix them. I'm at peace for a bit, until something else comes up.
Well, I got my other problems taken care of, and now, after about a month, I'm back to this cheating thing. I am planning on changing my major (started that process around the same time I went in to talk to the counselor), so that hopefully few or even none of the classes I took earlier would even count towards my new degree, but even still...I have an AA degree that I haven't fully earned.
I want to do what God wants me to do. But I'm not sure what that even is. I know I did wrong, and I know I wasn't completely honest with the counselor when I confessed to doing wrong. But...they didn't get back to me at all. So...??