There's nothing funny about a lukewarm Christian.
Rev. 3:15-16 speaks volumes about people like you:
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Perhaps. How many personal miracles from God have YOU experienced? I broke my neck and was paralyzed and drowning, and God performed a major miracle for me and healed me. Did he ever do anything like that for you?
God has grabbed my face out of the air and spoken to me out loud. I have seen the City, I have been in the black abyss, and I have felt the heat of Gehenna on the soles of my feet. Have you?
Can you read the Hebrew pictographs by which God wrote out the account of his fattening of the world, starting with the begetting of the Son before he did that?
Do you know that God's name, El, is "The Lord is My Shepherd"?
God is not going to spit me out of his mouth. I am highly favored and beloved by him, and have been since he placed me where he placed me, with my unlikely collection of gifts.
You wield the words of God as though you are God. But the thing is, I have spoken with God, and he does not sound like you.
So what you are, really, is like Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer's Apprentice, picking up a wand of words, a ring of power, and trying to cast spells with it.
God is not about to spit me out of his mouth, because he knows that I am with him to the end and always was, by his choice. He provided me what I asked for, and much more.
What are you doing? You are angrily baiting everybody - hurling words of judgment at them. I am too lukewarm for YOU, but I am beloved and highly favored by GOD, and I know it because of all of the miracles.
So, apparently God is not as harsh and demanding and unforgiving and oppressive as you are.
That's a problem for you, not me, because our God's Son said that we will each be judged by the standard by which we judged.
You've got God spitting me out of his mouth for my "lukewarmness", because I am not incensed by the ridiculous little things that incense you (like Jack Chick cartoons, for instance).
I'm concerned for your well being because of your relentless harshness. Happy men do not address everybody in the way you do (look at your posts - EVERYBODY gets hit by your lightning bolts, all the time, you're relentless). You're enraged at everyone, and certain that God is too.
Well, you're wrong. God is nowhere near spitting me out of his mouth. God loves me, always has, always will, and treats me exceptionally well. He and I are not estranged or on difficult terms. He's my Father, and acts like a father should act to me - and I mimic that to the extent within my power in my own parentage of our daughter - His and mine, for He is her Father also, and yours, o brother mine) - our awesome daughter who is rising to do awesome things. The blessings are profuse. He's not spitting me out of his mouth, for there is nothing lukewarm about me.
Why are you so angry? Why do you sound like Paul before he was thrown from his horse? You're raging at a dead cartoonist. You're raging at your brother in spirit because he's not raging at the cartoonist. You're raging that I don't take homeless women into my house.
You're raging at everybody. Do you think God's going to bless this? He isn't going to.
Your rage will peak, you will have a good catharsis of unloading on anonymous people on the Internet, but then the feeling will pass and you'll be back alone, and cold, and wondering where the blessings are. Why is your zeal unrewarded?
It is unrewarded because it's not good. You're trying to dominate, to judge, to command, to cast spells with the words of Jesus.
That is not the way, my brother. You're acting like...Jack Chick!
Calm down. Steady on. Laugh more. Don't burn all of your bridges with everyone, hurl lightning bolts, pass judgment on the world and then settle back, alone, in the darkness and wonder why you feel bad. Breathe. Drink a glass of red wine. Look at the stars. And learn to laugh at camels, because they are very funny creatures.