OK ladies; what's with the epidemic of choosing "bad boys"?

[William67]

I will ask a woman out, but I don't ask "strangers". I have to know her for a time before I approach her. Ive gone on blind dates and the date was awful. Ive never been on a good blind date.

I believe I told this a long time ago. A woman began going to our church and after awhile, I got to know her. Actually became friends, not close friends, but enough to where she began to open up. Seems she had been a "party girl" most of her life. Now, at the time, she was in her 30's and had decided that she had had her fill of "bad boys" and one night stands. She said she has sewn her wild oats. She had decided to start going to church to see if she could catch herself a "nice guy", a "good Christian man".

Why on Earth she though a nice guy or a good Christian man would want her is beyond me. What man in his right mind would want an ex-bar fly with the morals of an alley cat?

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Am I? I don't abuse women. Or is it disgusting to just let people make their own personal decisions, and not try to milk a date out of personally assisting somebody?

It's something that you have zero control or influence over. You're only hurting yourself by bothering with it.

You don't need to abuse women to be a misogynist

 

[High Fidelity]

they get what they deserve . . . wow, the love and mercy never ends with some people.

I don't know, but I struggled to sympathise with the people I knew that insisted on holding their hands over a flame and then crying when they got burnt... over and over again.

The other person's actions weren't justified, but come on, stop putting yourself in that situation... I know love can make an idiot of the brightest, but seriously.

 

[Servant68]

Yea thats what i think too..ive seen it happen way too much. You reckon its the midlife crisis? I think something happens when marrieds reach 40 they go a bit nuts and forget their vows.

Being single and being the dumping ground for unhappy marrieds is not fun.

My ex was 40 when she re-connected with her old high school boyfriend on FB. You might be on to something there...

 

[redblue22]

Is there no reason to care about people like her?

It might be hard to understand if you feel you saved yourself.

 

[High Fidelity]

Is there no reason to care about people like her?

It might be hard to understand if you feel you saved yourself.

I'm not going to not care about someone that puts themselves in that position, no.

Just as I wouldn't refuse someone that had a child they couldn't afford welfare.

Doesn't mean we have to like it, though.

 

[MehGuy]

Is there no reason to care about people like her?

It might be hard to understand if you feel you saved yourself.

I care.

I've run into many women who claim they enjoy being abused and I try to talk them out of it. Although from personal experience I know how futile such conversations can be. Change really needs to come from within. Out put from other people is sadly already self acknowledged by the person.

 

[blackribbon]

And I am a woman who has never been attracted to the "bad boy"...no thank you! It is too much work. I don't want to always be forced into the role of being the "voice of reason" and never get to have any fun or be any fun because someone in the relationship has to be The Grown-up. I want to be with a "grown up" who realizes that life does have consequences and that we alternate and share making the hard decisions that life requires to have a good life...so we can both let our hair down and have a good time when it is safe and appropriate to do so.

 

[redblue22]

I'm not going to not care about someone that puts themselves in that position, no.

Just as I wouldn't refuse someone that had a child they couldn't afford welfare.
Doesn't mean we have to like it, though.

I'm not sure what you are saying.

 

[Cearbhall]

I'm not sure what you are saying.

The negatives cancel out. He's saying that he will care about the person.

 

[redblue22]

Someone who keeps repeating is like one who keeps hitting potholes with her car. But I think if we are not careful, this talk of potholes can lead to us driving off a cliff.

 

[ReesePiece23]

love can make an idiot of the brightest

If think you've just summed up - in eight short words, why I've managed to stay single for over four years.

I mean, if love can make an idiot out of the BRIGHTEST, then where does that put me?

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I don't know, but I struggled to sympathise with the people I knew that insisted on holding their hands over a flame and then crying when they got burnt... over and over again.

The other person's actions weren't justified, but come on, stop putting yourself in that situation... I know love can make an idiot of the brightest, but seriously.

Yeah that's right it's so easy, have you thought about going into refuge or women's aid and actually talking to these women or the workers, it's so not easy and is very complex with other issues going on.

The abuse doesn't happen every day, it goes in a cycle.

Seriously you have no right to judge if you've never been that sort of relationship, worked with women or even studied it.

 

[High Fidelity]

Yeah that's right it's so easy, have you thought about going into refuge or women's aid and actually talking to these women or the workers, it's so not easy and is very complex with other issues going on.

The abuse doesn't happen every day, it goes in a cycle.

Seriously you have no right to judge if you've never been that sort of relationship, worked with women or even studied it.

I'm not judging. I've had it happen to me before and I didn't let it become a cycle because I didn't let it happen again.

Different people are, well, different. I refuse to let myself be abused whether that's physical, emotional or psychological no matter who they are.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I'm not judging. I've had it happen to me before and I didn't let it become a cycle because I didn't let it happen again.

Different people are, well, different. I refuse to let myself be abused whether that's physical, emotional or psychological no matter who they are.

Abuse between women to men and men to women are different and male on male abuse also the way society view and puts pressure on women and men are different. Its not as simple as yep well I am a men so if I can walk away so can they.

We can at least knowledge that their is a serious problem here, 2 women a week get murder by their partner. Lets try and work on that eh on male abuse and that inc male on male violence.

Rather as this thread shown rather that talk about the males here at hand, it actually goes on and starts judging women and "blaming" it on them.

Could you imagine a women reading this right now who's going through abuse and their partner keepa them you make me do it, you wind me up etc what are they going to believe ita their fault.

And you are judging and being self righteous with it.

 

[High Fidelity]

Could you imagine a women reading this right now who's going through abuse and their partner keepa them you make me do it, you wind me up etc what are they going to believe ita their fault.

And you are judging and being self righteous with it.

I am pretty sure no one has said that. I am pretty sure what Sketcher said and the conversation followed on from was if people are going for a particular type of person when they have a good idea of what to expect, it isn't surprising when they find themselves in a bad situation.

That's not justifying the actions of whomever is abusing whom, but it is highlighting that maybe people need to pay more attention.

This isn't discussing people getting involved with people that they literally had no idea they were anything but nice. The context is 'bad boys' which presupposes plenty of things. It's discussing people you probably shouldn't involve yourself with in the first place for many a reason.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Actually the OP uses the words punch bag, cheating on and STD to name a few.

This isnt about some guy who might do drugs.

He also stated she isolated herself from her friends and family actually this is a red flag pf an abusive male. Isolate means they rely on them and then have no way to turn too.

Also "bad boys" can tell or know vulnerable women henve why they go for that type and bascially woo them in.

Its also cultural, your background, self esteem , society that all plays into it.

Again the OP bad boys was clearly different.

Thw OP seemed jealous, so rather than viewing it as a case of to be their for his friend and see why she's in the situation he chooses to blame her, then we get other males coming on fueling each other saying yep its thw women fault....

And you wonder why this world is messed up.

 

[ReesePiece23]

Come on now. Stop it with this non ReesePiece related talk.

I'm all that's important here...

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Come on now. Stop it with this non ReesePiece related talk.

I'm all that's important here...

We can make you your own thread if you want

 

[ReesePiece23]

We can make you your own thread if you want

I was thinking about opening up my own sub-forum...

Put it above Ethics and Morality... So people don't see Ethics and Morality. (It's dangerous... You shouldn't post there. Not unless you want your User CP to blow up into a fit of notifications.)