Do Wives Always Have to Say Yes to Sex?

[Armoured]

Wow.

 

[Dave-W]

Just looked at the results of the poll.

2 votes for "Wives Have to say no to sex." and none for the other option.

Why do they HAVE to say no?

 

[Armoured]

Just looked at the results of the poll.

2 votes for "Wives Have to say no to sex." and none for the other option.

Why do they HAVE to say no?

I'm hoping that's a bad English issue, but it stopped me voting either way.

 

[Dave-W]

but it stopped me voting either way.

me too

 

[keepwalking]

Blimey Dave, what type of church was that, if you don't mind me asking? Sounds awful.

 

[Dave-W]

"Blimy?" I have NEVER had any one say that to me before. Am I on a pirate ship?

It was a "Discipleship" or "Shepherding Movement" church back in the 1970s.

It was actually a rather mixed bag. There were some excesses as I have described and that did hurt a lot of people. But it had some very fine bible teaching (if they had only listened and applied what they were teaching); and some of the finest Worship music of the decade. That movement gave rise to the Hosanna Integrity label of praise recordings.

 

[keepwalking]

Haha!! I'm British, Dave
Ah thought it might be heavy shepherding.

 

[Darkhorse]

The leaders of a sister congregation in upstate New York at one point canceled EVERY current engagement in their congregation.

WOW! I thought a Christian leader was out of line when he said my girlfriend and I couldn't hold hands...

I walked out and never went back.

 

[Dave-W]

Ah thought it might be heavy shepherding.

Yeah - I got to know several of the leaders personally. I was in a band with a couple of kids from the Basham clan.

 

[dayhiker]

I was in the discipleship movement in Kansas City. I'm not aware of any going any where near that far in lording it over those under them.
I'd love to go around in those situations now and ask over and over where does the Bible say that?

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

Women can do whatever they want with their body, it doesn't belong to their husbands or their fathers.

Questions like these seem to indicate that women have no sex drive, they obviously do. Men and women both have sex drives of about the same intensity, so long as coercion is not taking place there's no reason to think that anyone will be starved for attention.

 

[SARGAM NAGDA]

I'm afraid if I had taken a wife, she would pester me all the time for sex. She would be pestering me, not the other way around.

How can you be so sure about your statement ?

 

[ImaginaryDay]

Women can do whatever they want with their body, it doesn't belong to their husbands or their fathers.

Questions like these seem to indicate that women have no sex drive, they obviously do. Men and women both have sex drives of about the same intensity, so long as coercion is not taking place there's no reason to think that anyone will be starved for attention.

Do you have stats on this, or any information to back this up?

As to the OP, no, women do not always have to say yes. But this does not give them free reign to always say no.

 

[Armoured]

But this does not give them free reign to always say no.

Under what circumstances do you think a woman shouldn't be able to say "no"?

 

[Aelred of Rievaulx]

Do you have stats on this, or any information to back this up?

Well, different types of sex drives but men and women can both easily become aroused. I remember reading a study that suggested men have really very direct arousal, they showed straight men straight inappropriate contentography and found that they were aroused, they showed gay men gay inappropriate contentography and found that they were aroused. When they showed women inappropriate contentography, they found that women became aroused by male-male, straight and lesbian inappropriate content. The study was at Northwestern University, and the researcher was Meredith Chivers.

 

[St_Worm2]

No, but they should not make a habit of saying "no" - if they want to stay married to a faithful husband.

St. Paul seems to agree with you concerning the issue of making a "habit" of saying no (be that the wife or the husband):

"Because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command." 1 Corinthians 7:2-6​

Yours and His,
David

"Each individual among you is to love his own wife even as himself,
and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."
Ephesians 5:33​

 

[St_Worm2]

So the other day I was hanging out with my newly wed cousin sister and we were there surrounded by our common friends.

My cousin sister confessed that being new in wedlock was cool and fun and she was enjoying the wedding bliss.

She said that her husband was demanding her sex many times more when they holidays on weekends.

So the question is: Do Wives Always Have to Say Yes to Sex?

Hi Sargam, your OP question I understand, but your second poll choice, "Wives Have to Say no to Sex", I don't. Why would it ever be true that a wife would "have" to say no to sex

 

[RedPonyDriver]

Intimate relations should always be an outgrowth of the closeness felt outside the bedroom. Both spouses should always endeavor to create an atmosphere of love and contentment within the marriage...relations will come from that...easily. Men do not have the right to demand and women do not have the right to deny on a regular basis.

What I'm about to say is going to sound strange for a feminist like me but here goes...
I have witnessed way too many marriages where the woman uses relations as a weapon to get what she wants. She either denies or grants it based on a manipulation or power game. At that point the marriage becomes nothing more than a power struggle. This is NOT what a Christian marriage should be...going back to the passages in Ephesians 5.

So...both spouses should feel free to say "not tonight" but not use that as a weapon of manipulation. As one gets older, and matures in marriage, relations may become more infrequent...it happens. However, intimate relations are not the end all and be all in a marriage, nor should it be used as a power ploy in marriage. When a couple is intimate by joyful agreement, it strengthens the marriage. When it is something withheld or given as a power play, it weakens the marriage.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

Well, different types of sex drives but men and women can both easily become aroused. I remember reading a study that suggested men have really very direct arousal, they showed straight men straight inappropriate contentography and found that they were aroused, they showed gay men gay inappropriate contentography and found that they were aroused. When they showed women inappropriate contentography, they found that women became aroused by male-male, straight and lesbian inappropriate content. The study was at Northwestern University, and the researcher was Meredith Chivers.

Thanks. That helps to clarify.

 

[ImaginaryDay]

Under what circumstances do you think a woman shouldn't be able to say "no"?

I don't understand how your question follows from what I said.