Pagliacci

[exitstageright]

Actually, I was simply hoping you would express some sort of compassion for this woman's feeling that you claim to care about...after you treated her like an experiment to pet your ego.

Any chance you care about her for her and her uniquenesses...instead of just how she treats you and how she makes you feel?

Her uniquenesses are that she did not Friend Zone me when we were spending time together, very affectionate, very easy to talk to, a good listener, intelligent ,smart, does not care how much money I make ,does not care about what kind of car I drive, and does not care how tall I am.

I can make her feel great, also. She is very responsive to my touch!

By the way, after meeting her, there is no need to go on any more Singlescruise.com cruises any more. In this picture, I ( the one in the turqoius shirt, next to the guy in the orange shirt) was the only sober person in the group.

On Facebook ,the person, who took this picture was called "cute" by many of the women who posted. He drinks also. His real face is on the facebook posts. But, I was only called "cute" when I was wearing that Sylvester the Cat costume,with a mask. My real face was covered by the mask !

Now, logic dictates that these women think I am cute only when my face is covered up by a mask!!! I cannot help but to feel slighted.

Some of these people's bar bills cost more than a cruise! Therefore, since I feel so out place, among these drunks, I will not be going on any more Singles cruises with this company.

 

[dayhiker]

I agree, exit .. a lot of them cruise to drink ... but I have always found people that didn't go to get drunk every day and night on the two cruises I've been on.

 

[blackribbon]

Sounds like a match made in heaven...she doesn't think you are "cute" since she didn't post that statement on FB and you must not think she is either because there were no positive comments about her looks in your description of her.

 

[exitstageright]

Sounds like a match made in heaven...she doesn't think you are "cute" since she didn't post that statement on FB and you must not think she is either because there were no positive comments about her looks in your description of her.

Say,if I just talked about her looks,you would have accused me of being a shallow man! This is what I am talking about. With women,everything I say is............wrong!

 

[exitstageright]

Sounds like a match made in heaven...she doesn't think you are "cute" since she didn't post that statement on FB and you must not think she is either because there were no positive comments about her looks in your description of her.

Say,if I had just talked about her looks,you and the other women,would just call me a shallow man. This is what I am talking about. With women,everything I say or do is..........freaking wrong!

P.S. Something is wrong with this computer. I did not mean to double post.

 

[blackribbon]

You are posting that nobody thinks you are "cute" but you are worried that we will think you are shallow if you say a woman that you have been talking to is "cute" or even "attractive"? It is shallow if that was the only criteria you had for dating her...however, I would hope that a man would take the time to describe someone he has taken an interest in as at least attractive. Again, most of the reasons you like her still were about how she made you feel and not anything about her. Even YOUR ability to make her feel good physically...not about her...and not a good basis for a long term relationship, especially a long distance one.

Seven months of talking and no mention of being attractive or interesting...just she is smart (the only positive thing you say about her)...the rest is that she LIKES you and makes you feel good about yourself. In return, you ask 4 women on the same date and since she is the only one who accepted, you think she is the "lucky" winner of a weekend with you. Most guys I went out thought they were the lucky one...and actually that is the normal reaction to getting a date with someone you really like.

And stop being so freaking dramatic...and quit putting words in my mouth that I have never uttered. I am not "everyone" and I never expected you to be "perfect"...but it would be nice if you would treat this woman like a person with feelings and not "proof of your value". Your value should come through through Christ, and your goal should be be serve like Christ, not to find someone to serve you and your needs. Marriage is about serving someone else for the rest of your life...not sitting on your throne being served by your mate and requiring them to make you happy.

 

[exitstageright]

You are posting that nobody thinks you are "cute" but you are worried that we will think you are shallow if you say a woman that you have been talking to is "cute" or even "attractive"? It is shallow if that was the only criteria you had for dating her...however, I would hope that a man would take the time to describe someone he has taken an interest in as at least attractive. Again, most of the reasons you like her still were about how she made you feel and not anything about her. Even YOUR ability to make her feel good physically...not about her...and not a good basis for a long term relationship, especially a long distance one.

Seven months of talking and no mention of being attractive or interesting...just she is smart (the only positive thing you say about her)...the rest is that she LIKES you and makes you feel good about yourself. In return, you ask 4 women on the same date and since she is the only one who accepted, you think she is the "lucky" winner of a weekend with you. Most guys I went out thought they were the lucky one...and actually that is the normal reaction to getting a date with someone you really like.

And stop being so freaking dramatic...and quit putting words in my mouth that I have never uttered. I am not "everyone" and I never expected you to be "perfect"...but it would be nice if you would treat this woman like a person with feelings and not "proof of your value". Your value should come through through Christ, and your goal should be be serve like Christ, not to find someone to serve you and your needs. Marriage is about serving someone else for the rest of your life...not sitting on your throne being served by your mate and requiring them to make you happy.

Many men,that I know that have a good woman,I have told them,"You are such a lucky man." I would feel lucky if I had a good woman,that was my type. In my early twenties,I did try my best to serve the woman I was interested in. And,guess what? I was thought of as ..being.....weak!!!

In the black community,a kind,gentle,and sensitive man was often seen as being weak. Since you are not Black,or Afro-American,you just cannot identify with what I am saying. But many other Afro-Americans know exactly what I am saying. Growing up,if a young man wanted to be a scientist,or to be in some other highly educated position in life,he would be told that he was "acting white ".

Even one of my own brothers told me,"You talk like a white boy." One black girl once told me,"You want to make out like a white boy." If someone ever tells me that today,I would get as angry as Cain did. Before he killed Abel.
So,you see? I did try to find someone to serve. But it did not work!

Now,as far as me being dramatic. I am an actor,also. "If you tickle me,do I not laugh? If you prick my finger,do I not bleed?" In my church's Chrismas Production,this year, I do not have any lines. So,you see. Putting on a show( show business) is not something that I want to do. It is something that I have to do.

 

[dayhiker]

exit .. while talking to my room mate on the singles cruise, he is black, he said much the same things about how he is treated. He has pretty much separated himself from the black community he grew up in because of how successful he has been. But he is sensitive as well. Was raised by his grandmother because his mom left him and his siblings when he was young. Lost his wife in child birth and raise his son by himself while he was in the Marine Corps from which he retired. So your not alone in how you feel about a lot of this stuff.

 

[blackribbon]

Many men,that I know that have a good woman,I have told them,"You are such a lucky man." I would feel lucky if I had a good woman,that was my type. In my early twenties,I did try my best to serve the woman I was interested in. And,guess what? I was thought of as ..being.....weak!!!

In the black community,a kind,gentle,and sensitive man was often seen as being weak. Since you are not Black,or Afro-American,you just cannot identify with what I am saying. But many other Afro-Americans know exactly what I am saying. Growing up,if a young man wanted to be a scientist,or to be in some other highly educated position in life,he would be told that he was "acting white ".

Even one of my own brothers told me,"You talk like a white boy." One black girl once told me,"You want to make out like a white boy." If someone ever tells me that today,I would get as angry as Cain did. Before he killed Abel.
So,you see? I did try to find someone to serve. But it did not work!

Now,as far as me being dramatic. I am an actor,also. "If you tickle me,do I not laugh? If you prick my finger,do I not bleed?" In my church's Chrismas Production,this year, I do not have any lines. So,you see. Putting on a show( show business) is not something that I want to do. It is something that I have to do.

honestly...what does this have anything to do with what we were talking about? ????

 

[blackribbon]

Many men,that I know that have a good woman,I have told them,"You are such a lucky man." I would feel lucky if I had a good woman,that was my type. In my early twenties,I did try my best to serve the woman I was interested in. And,guess what? I was thought of as ..being.....weak!!!

In the black community,a kind,gentle,and sensitive man was often seen as being weak. Since you are not Black,or Afro-American,you just cannot identify with what I am saying. But many other Afro-Americans know exactly what I am saying. Growing up,if a young man wanted to be a scientist,or to be in some other highly educated position in life,he would be told that he was "acting white ".

Even one of my own brothers told me,"You talk like a white boy." One black girl once told me,"You want to make out like a white boy." If someone ever tells me that today,I would get as angry as Cain did. Before he killed Abel.
So,you see? I did try to find someone to serve. But it did not work!

Now,as far as me being dramatic. I am an actor,also. "If you tickle me,do I not laugh? If you prick my finger,do I not bleed?" In my church's Chrismas Production,this year, I do not have any lines. So,you see. Putting on a show( show business) is not something that I want to do. It is something that I have to do.

And I have always listened to what you have said so I know that you didn't serve your 1st wife when she wanted financial help for her family and you didn't didn't serve your second wife by taking time to understanding her unique medical needs both before and after you married her. But again, this is not the topic at hand...

 

[exitstageright]

And I have always listened to what you have said so I know that you didn't serve your 1st wife when she wanted financial help for her family and you didn't didn't serve your second wife by taking time to understanding her unique medical needs both before and after you married her. But again, this is not the topic at hand...

My first wife,and her family,did not give a flying f.... about me. All I was to them was an ATM with legs. By the time I got married,for the first time,I stopped being so darn nice to women. I stopped being a PW pushover.

Now,when my lady friend visits me,while we are walking together on the Golden Gate Bridge,and dining and dancing on the San Francisco Bay Cruise,I will feel like a lucky man.

The proof of the pudding,that I do care about here is this. At,work,while signing on to my computer everyday,her name is my password.

Please read what Dayhiker wrote about his black room mate. You just do not understand black men. Dakhiker understands black men.

 

[blackribbon]

Please read what Dayhiker wrote about his black room mate. You just do not understand black men. Dakhiker understands black men.

Funny. I work at a hospital in a primarily poor black neighborhood. I probably spend more time around black men than you do.

And you don't seem to understand that I do understand women...I don't need to understand black men to be upset with how you appear to be treating this one particular woman.

 

[exitstageright]

Funny. I work at a hospital in a primarily poor black neighborhood. I probably spend more time around black men than you do.

And you don't seem to understand that I do understand women...I don't need to understand black men to be upset with how you appear to be treating this one particular woman.

I have spent the first 30 years of my life around black men. I am a black man that grew up in a crappy neighborhood. Logic dictates that I have had more experiences than you when it comes to being a black ,in a society, where you are told that you are, nothing, and that you will never be nothing but a loud mouthed ,uneducated ,drug dealing gangster.

This one particular women wants to see me in order to have a tryst and a fling only! When we had that interlude on that Carribean Island Beach,she was already in a relationship.Earlier this month, she broke up with her boyfriend, who lives in Michagan. She lives in Florida. She says that she is tired of long distance relationships. Now, do you think that she really wants a long distance relationship with me,when I live all the way out in ......................California?

Maybe we are just 'helping each other out", because we need to be touched very badly. Therefore,nobody is being used.

 

[blackribbon]

So the truth comes out. Yes, that makes sense.

As for the victim mentality, nobody has told you that you would be an uneducated drug dealing gangster for many many years...you did become educated at a young age and have a career. You have spent more of your time away from that environment. I don't feel sorry for you. You have done something with your life and you aren't the only person to ever have had a bad childhood.

 

[exitstageright]

So the truth comes out. Yes, that makes sense.

As for the victim mentality, nobody has told you that you would be an uneducated drug dealing gangster for many many years...you did become educated at a young age and have a career. You have spent more of your time away from that environment. I don't feel sorry for you. You have done something with your life and you aren't the only person to ever have had a bad childhood.

You are so right about that.But, the media, the news, TV shows ,and movies have often pictured black men ,in this country, as the icons of evil.Many women have told me that black men are very intimidating. Why do you think that the police, in our country, gun down unarmed black men?

I have fought racism by getting a good education ,working hard, and tutoring young black kids in science, English and math. I do not want, nor do I need for you to feel sorry for me. My life just illustrates that determination, tenacity,and motivation do pay off. No one gave me my California CLS license , that causes me to make a great living, while having a very good life. I, with the grace of God, had to earn it

It just frustrates me, when I was poor, that I could not take a lady out on the town, in order to have a great time.

Now, I have the money, but I just cannot find a lady, here in California , that wants to spend time with me. The smart, women, who have a lot going for themselves, keep giving me this same old B.S. They keep telling me, "I am Too Busy! Well. I am busy also. If a woman really wants to see me, she would find time to see me. For now on ,I refuse to take any more of this female B.S. I am only going to ask a woman out one time, and one time only.

Yet,in two months later,I will be getting a call from her. She will be crying, while asking me, "Why can't I find a good man?" This has happened to me on several occasions.

 

[blackribbon]

What ever it is...it isn't because you are black. You crawled out of that pit 40 years ago...time to let that time period go and figure out what is going on now.

However, if you think that you are the only one who can't find a date or a significant other, you picked the wrong place to search for pity. This forum is full of people that would like to find a "someone special" and are having a difficult time doing it.

Wait a minute...a few posts ago, you were telling us that educated nice black men were considered "weak"...now you are saying they are "intimidating". I think men are men and they just come in a variety of colors that really doesn't matter much in the big picture. If a woman isn't going to date someone of another skin color, she isn't going to say it that bluntly in today's world. It isn't personal...it is just her preference just like you have certain preferences about the women you date.

 

[exitstageright]

What ever it is...it isn't because you are black. You crawled out of that pit 40 years ago...time to let that time period go and figure out what is going on now.

However, if you think that you are the only one who can't find a date or a significant other, you picked the wrong place to search for pity. This forum is full of people that would like to find a "someone special" and are having a difficult time doing it.

Wait a minute...a few posts ago, you were telling us that educated nice black men were considered "weak"...now you are saying they are "intimidating". I think men are men and they just come in a variety of colors that really doesn't matter much in the big picture. If a woman isn't going to date someone of another skin color, she isn't going to say it that bluntly in today's world. It isn't personal...it is just her preference just like you have certain preferences about the women you date.

Sorry,I did not make myself perfectly clear on that topic.. Young black women consider educated black men to be weak. Women of other races have told me that black men are intimidating. Cops are intimidated by black men.Why do you think that the bad cops have a "shoot first ask questions later attitude" when it comes to black crime suspects? Sure this happens to men of other races. But, unarmed blacks are shot more. That is a fact. Why do you think those riots in the 60's were all about?
As far as my past is concerned,one has to know the past,in order to understand the present. For example,if a woman has been burnt by many men in her past,if she is afraid to go out with me,and I knew about her past,then I would not take her rejection of me personally. Because,I knew of her past hurts.

 

[blackribbon]

But you don't get to know those things about someone before you start to date them. Quit taking everything told to you by a stranger as "personal". Most women do not accept dates from men they don't know. And they don't accept dates if they don't see potential for their "ideal" from men they do know. It isn't about the man so much as it is about what they are looking for. Men are no different.

You are single for the same reason the rest of us are...you haven't found the right person yet. Military veterans regardless of their skin color or their neighborhood rarely are considered "weak men" so I suspect that there is more to this than you want to admit. What kind of women were you wanting to date? Most black women I have talked to complain because the black men have no goals and LACK education. They don't want to date some gangbanger with 3 baby mommas and wants to live off the salary made by her Master's Degree.

And boy are you full of the stereotypes...

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

While we cannot understand how it was for you to be born black, you have overcome many of the obstacles that many black men face growing up in the projects. So you aren't one of "those" kind of "black men". But you only want to date white women and you seem put off because they don't all want to date you. The more I have gotten to know you on this forum, the more I see you responding to everything from your "ME" perspective. I sense that this might come across when you interact in real life as well. Not all white women want to date black men. Get over it. I am not prejudiced or racist, and I have a SIL who is black but for me personally, I don't want to date a black man. For ME there is too many cultural differences to make it work. I don't think I would fair well with a Mexican or Asian guy either. It's just me. I cannot help what I like any more than you can. It seems kind of like whatever you think you can't have, is what you want and then you blame all the women for misunderstanding you. If you broaden your horizons you might surprise even yourself. And the fact that you invited 4 women and will not tell the one that accepted that you did that, says a lot about your character. You are not being honest with her and you only want her for your personal satisfaction, but you won't admit that. And it's that kind of attitude that probably keeps you in the friend zone with the "smart" women IMO.
I would like to marry a rich guy. It will never happen. I don't roam in those circles and don't live like rich people live. The reason I would like to marry a rich guy is so we could do things and not have to be so stressed out working 2 jobs like I am now. BUT I would never marry just any rich guy. I would have to love the guy and him love me and we would have to be compatible. I would not be marrying for money. On the other hand, if I meet someone that I am very attracted to that wanted to date me, but he WASN'T rich, I would not turn him away solely on his financial state. I wouldn't even factor that in as a requirement. It's more like something that would be on my "perfect guy" list that is not based on reality.

 

[exitstageright]

But you don't get to know those things about someone before you start to date them. Quit taking everything told to you by a stranger as "personal". Most women do not accept dates from men they don't know. And they don't accept dates if they don't see potential for their "ideal" from men they do know. It isn't about the man so much as it is about what they are looking for. Men are no different.

You are single for the same reason the rest of us are...you haven't found the right person yet. Military veterans regardless of their skin color or their neighborhood rarely are considered "weak men" so I suspect that there is more to this than you want to admit. What kind of women were you wanting to date? Most black women I have talked to complain because the black men have no goals and LACK education. They don't want to date some gangbanger with 3 baby mommas and wants to live off the salary made by her Master's Degree.
And boy are you full of the stereotypes...

All sterotypes have some truth in them. That is why they are stereotypes.
How can you explain the fact that I did not have a girlfriend in High School?
The black girls did not want me. When I was a young man,the black women did not want me. As a grown man, most black women will not even look at me. They just ignore me. People tell me that,when I am not looking,a woman will approach me and will show an interest in me. As you well know,I am no longer interested,and no longer looking for a black woman. And, are any black women interested in me now? No they are not. I rest my case.

By the way,I do work with a lot of black women.They do say "Hello" to me ,when I say "Hello" to them first. But,none has shown any interest in me. By the way,I have not told them about my dating life.