I hate god

[LoyalToGod]

almost 6 years after giving my life to God, and already, I'm miserable. Ever since I did this, my life has turned into into a cesspool of hellish nightmares. More suicide attempts than I can count, being depressed since 2010 (4 terrible years), and being kicked while I'm down out. I QUIT! If this suffering is just to get to some non-existent place called Heaven, then count me out!

 

[FlaviusAetius]

Before anything I just want to share my sympathy for your feelings, I've been down this alley multiple times in the past.

The way you word it sounds like because you became spiritually invested in God that your life suddenly took a downward spiral. I don't know what you went through and frankly your original post doesn't really give a clear idea of what has gone wrong in your life. However it should be asked, was it being a Christian that really made things worse in your life? Exactly what changed, was your life not a "hellish nightmare" as an unfaithful person? There are many possible reasons that I can guess: scrupulous feelings toward your own sin and salvation, isolation from the secular world and its accepted morals, confusion from a lack of catechism. You'll have to explain your problem a bit more to receive help from forum members.

 

[Jeshu]

almost 6 years after giving my life to God, and already, I'm miserable. Ever since I did this, my life has turned into into a cesspool of hellish nightmares. More suicide attempts than I can count, being depressed since 2010 (4 terrible years), and being kicked while I'm down out. I QUIT! If this suffering is just to get to some non-existent place called Heaven, then count me out!

Hatred for God is from the devil, I don't advise you to have life in that kind of spirituality.

Why blame God for bad life? He isn't the one who brings bad life around, the devil does.

The Devil who now has you convinced that Heaven doesn't exist, he has ensnared your soul to his lies. This will only bring more suffering your way and indeed no Heaven at the end of the ride.

Rage at Satan, he is the blasphemous beast of a god of this world, he makes bad things happen all the time. You better believe me when I say he has his eyes on you.

So rather than blaming God for bad life, God, like you, suffers bad life. You can find oneness with Him about that. God can teach you how to overcome the devil and his dominion, this will bring love for God into your heart and all kind of other good life, rather than hatred and just more bad life.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Before anything I just want to share my sympathy for your feelings, I've been down this alley multiple times in the past.

The way you word it sounds like because you became spiritually invested in God that your life suddenly took a downward spiral. I don't know what you went through and frankly your original post doesn't really give a clear idea of what has gone wrong in your life. However it should be asked, was it being a Christian that really made things worse in your life? Exactly what changed, was your life not a "hellish nightmare" as an unfaithful person? There are many possible reasons that I can guess: scrupulous feelings toward your own sin and salvation, isolation from the secular world and its accepted morals, confusion from a lack of catechism. You'll have to explain your problem a bit more to receive help from forum members.

Hatred for God is from the devil, I don't advise you to have life in that kind of spirituality.

Why blame God for bad life? He isn't the one who brings bad life around, the devil does.

The Devil who now has you convinced that Heaven doesn't exist, he has ensnared your soul to his lies. This will only bring more suffering your way and indeed no Heaven at the end of the ride.

Rage at Satan, he is the blasphemous beast of a god of this world, he makes bad things happen all the time. You better believe me when I say he has his eyes on you.

So rather than blaming God for bad life, God, like you, suffers bad life. You can find oneness with Him about that. God can teach you how to overcome the devil and his dominion, this will bring love for God into your heart and all kind of other good life, rather than hatred and just more bad life.

thank you to the both of you for helping me out. I would like to offer my apologies to everyone who I've offended with this post and I apologize to God and I repent for having posted this during my time of weakness. As a token of my apology and gratitude, I'll pray a rain of blessings for you both.

 

[FlaviusAetius]

I appreciate that and am glad to have read this. Is there anything you'd still like to talk about that may be bothering you?

 

[LoyalToGod]

I appreciate that and am glad to have read this. Is there anything you'd still like to talk about that may be bothering you?

well, there's one thing: are you an angel? XD

 

[LoyalToGod]

and another thing: I've been hurt over and over again by different people. Yeah, I have a huge chip on my shoulder. I don't trust people. I've been kicked when I'm down. I was just frustrated

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Loyal,

I know how it is to be frustrated even with God and especially people

You're only human, when I have those thoughts I ask Him to forgive me and to help me feel His love. I bring my brokenness to Him even when all I want to do is scream and even give up

We are persecuted because of our faith and love for Him, and it's very hard because life does seem to have been easier before we came in the Kingdom, I am praying for you, and know you are not alone

I know you have been hurt, but He will bind up your wounds, forgive and release them to the best of your ability, you will come out victorious for ALL to see

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Sis, I am here for you anytime

I definitely know how this feels!

You're going to be just fine! Smile

 

[LoyalToGod]

Loyal,

I know how it is to be frustrated even with God and especially people

You're only human, when I have those thoughts I ask Him to forgive me and to help me feel His love. I bring my brokenness to Him even when all I want to do is scream and even give up

We are persecuted because of our faith and love for Him, and it's very hard because life does seem to have been easier before we came in the Kingdom, I am praying for you, and know you are not alone

I know you have been hurt, but He will bind up your wounds, forgive and release them to the best of your ability, you will come out victorious for ALL to see

Sis, I am here for you anytime

I definitely know how this feels!

You're going to be just fine! Smile

I feel like I'm going to cry because of such compassion in your writing, thank you very much, and just for the record, I've repented to the Lord for blaming him and stuff like that.

 

[FlaviusAetius]

well, there's one thing: are you an angel? XD

Heh, no just another Catholic riding that same emotional roller coaster. From personal experience I've found it's helpful to discuss what caused so much frustration even once the initial anger has passed. There have been many times were I lashed my anger out directed toward God and despite each time thinking that was the final time I'd put my faith in God. I found myself realizing I was in the wrong each time and feeling remorse for my actions.

and another thing: I've been hurt over and over again by different people. Yeah, I have a huge chip on my shoulder. I don't trust people. I've been kicked when I'm down. I was just frustrated

I'm sorry to hear that, I can say I share your distrust of people; though the way my path turned out was that ever since Junior year of High School I just ceased trying to make lasting friendships. I wouldn't recommend doing this, I get lonely often and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that my social skills suffered due to isolating myself.

If you don't mind me asking, has it only been people out in the secular world that have hurt you or has it been members of the Catholic clergy and laity that have done so as well? If the latter is true always keep in mind that the Church is more than its clergy and laity. Bad people from both parts of the Catholic Church can never soil it's divine merit, no matter how much anti-Catholics like to say otherwise.

 

[ihavefoundgod951]

I pray for you

Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, As it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory, For ever and ever. Amen.

Bless you

 

[LoyalToGod]

I pray for you

Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, As it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory, For ever and ever. Amen.

Bless you

thank you very much for praying for me

 

[LoyalToGod]

Heh, no just another Catholic riding that same emotional roller coaster. From personal experience I've found it's helpful to discuss what caused so much frustration even once the initial anger has passed. There have been many times were I lashed my anger out directed toward God and despite each time thinking that was the final time I'd put my faith in God. I found myself realizing I was in the wrong each time and feeling remorse for my actions.



I'm sorry to hear that, I can say I share your distrust of people; though the way my path turned out was that ever since Junior year of High School I just ceased trying to make lasting friendships. I wouldn't recommend doing this, I get lonely often and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that my social skills suffered due to isolating myself.

If you don't mind me asking, has it only been people out in the secular world that have hurt you or has it been members of the Catholic clergy and laity that have done so as well? If the latter is true always keep in mind that the Church is more than its clergy and laity. Bad people from both parts of the Catholic Church can never soil it's divine merit, no matter how much anti-Catholics like to say otherwise.

secular people and Catholics as well

 

[Woven]

I'm sorry things seem to have become worse since you've become a Christian.

It's hard to understand the world sometimes. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. Sometimes the world just doesn't seem like a fair place and I understand how people feel like God is to blame. You're not wrong for wondering why He doesn't step in and do something about your circumstances.

What you need to remind yourself when you're feeling like this, is that God is not a puppet master who controls everybody's action. He's given all of us free will, and because we live in a fallen world that means that sometimes other people's bad choices affect us...or sometimes we make bad choices and have to live with the consequences. It doesn't mean God doesn't care for us. He can bring good even out of our worst circumstances. Just trust that He sees the bigger picture. He's working behind the scenes and He'll never leave or forsake you.

I agree with Jeshu - the idea that God is to blame for your circumstances is a lie from the enemy. Don't let him fool you into thinking that God is out to punish you, or enjoying your suffering. God sees every tear you've cried. His heart aches for you. He loves you more than you can image. Remember that on the other side of a difficult circumstance is either a better situation or a better you. Don't lose hope - He's not finished writing your story!

 

[KWCrazy]

Question: have you suffered as much for Jesus as Jesus suffered for you?
People can be bad, but God is good. In times of despair know that you aren't alone. Read again what Jesus went through at Gethsemane. He was completely alone. Once he took on the sins of man, even God his Father couldn't look upon Him. Nobody was ever so alone, and yet He allowed Himself to be tortured and killed so that at the end of your suffering He could welcome you home.

Will people hate you because you love God? Absolutely; but who is it better to be loved by, them or the Lord? Embracing the evil that afflicts you is not the answer. You need some personal counseling from a a professional who understand what you are going through. Talk to your minister openly. I'm sure you'll find that his life hasn't been all flowers and sunshine either. The more threat you are to the forces of evil the more they will hate you. That's good. It means you're doing the Lord's work and helping others to find their way.

 

[LarryP2]

Loyal to God;

I was exactly where you were just a couple of months ago. While I am not Catholic, I truly believe it is a wonderful basis for your future emotional healing. If you can hang in there, that is a Church that truly does wonderful things for people here on Earth, and it does an amazing job of representing Jesus Christ. THAT is where you will eventually find your healing. Stick with your church and ride it out with the help of Jesus Christ.

Anyone that infers that your problems are the result of your Catholicism means they are just narrow-minded and ignorant bigots. You can tell by the way that some of the wonderful Catholics who have responded to you that they truly care for you. Do not hesitate to go to your Priest with your doubts: Most of them are spiritual and intellectual giants. Be totally honest with them, tell them that you hate God right now and doubt his existence. You will not offend them. I can guarantee that you will not be able to find one that has not gone through what you are going through. You will only find empathy from them, earned out of hard-bitten experience.

If I have learned one thing in life, it is that doubt is not the opposite of Faith. Certainty is the opposite of Faith. ALL REAL Christians should go through times of severe doubt and severely doubting their own beliefs. If you don't, it only means that you have a superficial understand of yourself and God's plan for you. The doubts that are presently wracking your soul to me indicate only that you have a tremendous thirst for spiritual things.

At the same time, there is nothing wrong with getting some medical help for your situation. They do have medications out there that do a world of good and really can contribute to your spiritual walk.

 

[LoyalToGod]

I'm sorry things seem to have become worse since you've become a Christian.

It's hard to understand the world sometimes. Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. Sometimes the world just doesn't seem like a fair place and I understand how people feel like God is to blame. You're not wrong for wondering why He doesn't step in and do something about your circumstances.

What you need to remind yourself when you're feeling like this, is that God is not a puppet master who controls everybody's action. He's given all of us free will, and because we live in a fallen world that means that sometimes other people's bad choices affect us...or sometimes we make bad choices and have to live with the consequences. It doesn't mean God doesn't care for us. He can bring good even out of our worst circumstances. Just trust that He sees the bigger picture. He's working behind the scenes and He'll never leave or forsake you.

I agree with Jeshu - the idea that God is to blame for your circumstances is a lie from the enemy. Don't let him fool you into thinking that God is out to punish you, or enjoying your suffering. God sees every tear you've cried. His heart aches for you. He loves you more than you can image. Remember that on the other side of a difficult circumstance is either a better situation or a better you. Don't lose hope - He's not finished writing your story!

thank you very much, Woven

Question: have you suffered as much for Jesus as Jesus suffered for you?
People can be bad, but God is good. In times of despair know that you aren't alone. Read again what Jesus went through at Gethsemane. He was completely alone. Once he took on the sins of man, even God his Father couldn't look upon Him. Nobody was ever so alone, and yet He allowed Himself to be tortured and killed so that at the end of your suffering He could welcome you home.

Will people hate you because you love God? Absolutely; but who is it better to be loved by, them or the Lord? Embracing the evil that afflicts you is not the answer. You need some personal counseling from a a professional who understand what you are going through. Talk to your minister openly. I'm sure you'll find that his life hasn't been all flowers and sunshine either. The more threat you are to the forces of evil the more they will hate you. That's good. It means you're doing the Lord's work and helping others to find their way.

Thank you very much for the wake up call

Loyal to God;

I was exactly where you were just a couple of months ago. While I am not Catholic, I truly believe it is a wonderful basis for your future emotional healing. If you can hang in there, that is a Church that truly does wonderful things for people here on Earth, and it does an amazing job of representing Jesus Christ. THAT is where you will eventually find your healing. Stick with your church and ride it out with the help of Jesus Christ.

Anyone that infers that your problems are the result of your Catholicism means they are just narrow-minded and ignorant bigots. You can tell by the way that some of the wonderful Catholics who have responded to you that they truly care for you. Do not hesitate to go to your Priest with your doubts: Most of them are spiritual and intellectual giants. Be totally honest with them, tell them that you hate God right now and doubt his existence. You will not offend them. I can guarantee that you will not be able to find one that has not gone through what you are going through. You will only find empathy from them, earned out of hard-bitten experience.

If I have learned one thing in life, it is that doubt is not the opposite of Faith. Certainty is the opposite of Faith. ALL REAL Christians should go through times of severe doubt and severely doubting their own beliefs. If you don't, it only means that you have a superficial understand of yourself and God's plan for you. The doubts that are presently wracking your soul to me indicate only that you have a tremendous thirst for spiritual things.

At the same time, there is nothing wrong with getting some medical help for your situation. They do have medications out there that do a world of good and really can contribute to your spiritual walk.

thank you, Larry, but I'll do you one better: I'm taking Sertratline and Abilify and considering talking with my psychiatrist to double my dose (current dosage of Sertraline/Zoloft is 50mg, whereas Abilify is 5mg)

 

[LarryP2]

ll

thank you, Larry, but I'll do you one better: I'm taking Sertratline and Abilify and considering talking with my psychiatrist to double my dose (current dosage of Sertraline/Zoloft is 50mg, whereas Abilify is 5mg)

People like your psychiatrist are also wonderful workers for God, even if they deny it or don't know it. I have found that they are indispensable for helping you through the truly rough spots and gaining some objective perspective on your true situation.

You have your Catholic Priest who should be just as indispensable. Those guys have experience with wrestling through the Dark Night of the Soul. I would not hesitate to ask for their help. One of the things that I have realized lately is that true Christianity can DRASTICALLY change your outlook on life. There are MANY stories of Catholic Saints who have changed the world and themselves by following in the footsteps of Christ. Don't give up and continue to strive toward that goal. That is where Sanity will ultimately be found.

 

[Criada]

Have you read ' The dark night of the Soul?'
It's available free online here
I've found it really helpful in some hard times
Praying for you