If they really interested...

[Spunkn]

Porn addiction has nothing to do with the fact that guys are "wired to spread their dna around".

It has to do with the fact that God made men to respond to more visual things than women.

Anyway, thread is getting completely off-topic so yeah...

 

[Jupiter Drops]

Spread their DNA around? Smells like Mormon fundie issues...

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Spread their DNA around? Smells like Mormon fundie issues...

Oh my woooord. ...Rotfl.


Okay. My two cents? I really haven't any...not really anyway. I've never actually thought about it or paid attention to it that much.

 

[bluegreysky]

I know it sounds berserk but it's what they taught me in college. not relgious college. not hippie college. not weird fundamentals college. just normal. college.

 

[bluegreysky]

but yes the OP is right. you get like 7 seconds during your first impression or something like that, and if a connection isn't made, don't bother.

 

[Strider1002]

but yes the OP is right. you get like 7 seconds during your first impression or something like that, and if a connection isn't made, don't bother.

Wow. I know you've had trouble with men and all, but I think that's a little too quick to judge.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

Yeah, I know what goes down with Psych majors and courses.

Information change sometimes because more studies will be conducted to know the 'why's' and the 'how's.'

 

[Rhamiel]

Porn addiction has nothing to do with the fact that guys are "wired to spread their dna around".

It has to do with the fact that God made men to respond to more visual things than women.

Anyway, thread is getting completely off-topic so yeah...

well it is called natural law

as in, we are human and it is good for us to act like humans
this is medieval philosophy

so while animals can act one way and no one blames them
fighting and even killing eachother over a scrap of food, "spreading their DNA around"

there might be a benifit to humans acting the same way
but it is beneath human dignity to act like that, it is no longer "natural" for us because humans have a higher nature

 

[bluegreysky]

Wow. I know you've had trouble with men and all, but I think that's a little too quick to judge.

This is possible but I am also the one who posted about marrying a best friend idea.
Because when you are on the lookout for a mate, and so's the other person, if that connection doesn't happen (ok maybe like in one platonic coffee date 7 seconds might be too harsh) then it isn't going to.
Don't get down. it isn't always the "guy your friend told you about from church, that you're meeting for the first time."
It can be the trustworthy friend you've had all along.
I was asking people if they were open to it.
If I had to pick between a quick encounter with a new guy
(who could be a pig) and taking a new step with a friend who's ways I know, I pick the old friend.
Some people don't have one though at the moment,
so that's why it's better to approach all the guys as friends and observe them IRL to see what kinds of hangups they've got without the pressure of dating and impressing each other.
Then later, if both of you are ready for dating and you see the right qualities in each other... well ok
Just IMHO

 

[Spunkn]

I know it sounds berserk but it's what they taught me in college. not relgious college. not hippie college. not weird fundamentals college. just normal. college.

So you automatically believe everything you're taught in college without question? Even at Bible college, we were told to not automatically assume what we were taught was true, but to search the Bible and to find out for ourselves.

 

[Spunkn]

well it is called natural law

as in, we are human and it is good for us to act like humans
this is medieval philosophy

so while animals can act one way and no one blames them
fighting and even killing eachother over a scrap of food, "spreading their DNA around"

there might be a benifit to humans acting the same way
but it is beneath human dignity to act like that, it is no longer "natural" for us because humans have a higher nature

It is not "natural" for men to want to sleep around and "spread their dna around as much as possible" because God did not design it that way. The world may want to use that as an excuse, or because we've somehow "evolved" but that doesn't make it true.

There is no "benefit" to acting that way because God did not design it that way. If he did, then there would be reasons for it. When you take God out of science, and out of the world, these are the kinds of ideas you get. That it's somehow "natural" and "just how men are".

If anything, it's because we're sinful!

 

[bluegreysky]

So you automatically believe everything you're taught in college without question? Even at Bible college, we were told to not automatically assume what we were taught was true, but to search the Bible and to find out for ourselves.

Well duh.. I only believe what I can see evidence of, and men actions is one of them.

 

[Spunkn]

but yes the OP is right. you get like 7 seconds during your first impression or something like that, and if a connection isn't made, don't bother.

7 seconds? Wow. Strider's right, you are allowing your experiences to let you become very jaded.

 

[Rhamiel]

It is not "natural" for men to want to sleep around and "spread their dna around as much as possible" because God did not design it that way. The world may want to use that as an excuse, or because we've somehow "evolved" but that doesn't make it true.

There is no "benefit" to acting that way because God did not design it that way. If he did, then there would be reasons for it. When you take God out of science, and out of the world, these are the kinds of ideas you get. That it's somehow "natural" and "just how men are".

If anything, it's because we're sinful!

there is a benefit to it from a genetic standpoint
there are more offspring

just as there is a kind of "benefit" from killing someone and taking their stuff.

if we see animals do this, we say it is ok, because they are animals and that is what they do.

if we see humans act like this, we say that is bad, because it is not good for men to act like animals

 

[Spunkn]

Well duh.. I only believe what I can see evidence of, and men actions is one of them.

If you want to continue blaming men, by all means continue. It won't make things any better for you.

 

[Spunkn]

there is a benefit to it from a genetic standpoint
there are more offspring

just as there is a kind of "benefit" from killing someone and taking their stuff.

if we see animals do this, we say it is ok, because they are animals and that is what they do.

if we see humans act like this, we say that is bad, because it is not good for men to act like animals

Beneficial according to whom? The world or God? Because I don't see God as approving it or seeing benefit to it.

 

[bluegreysky]

Things are fine for me, thanks for asking.

 

[Strider1002]

Things are fine for me, thanks for asking.

You don't seem fine. You seem angry at men, most of the time.

I don't want to mess up Soldier's nice thread, though. So I'll let it be.

 

[bluegreysky]

that doesn't mean I'm not fine.

 

[ninzae]

I've seen guys go for what they want. If they really like a girl they will speak with her someway, somehow.

So my philosophy... if they are interested they will let you know. If they're not talking to you then don't even waste your time.

What do you think?

Hey Soldier,

Thanks for bringing this up. I used to think this way until I was told by several guys from my highschool that they were interested in me. They did not say anything or "court" (hah its a filipino thing) me bec they were just awfully shy that time.

You could never tell if they are interested or not. An interest is different from an intentional pursuit - may it be friendship, dating or courtship. The one who do will do the latter is the one who has made up his mind, gathered his strength and stabilized his feeling to finally make a decision in letting you know.

Anyone can be interested. Only few can go beyond that. Those guys in my HS were just interested. Period. End of story.

I do not see anything wrong in striking a conversation with a man you like. How can you verify your "liking" if you don't talk to him? We also do not allow them to get to know us through our own initiation. We have this thwarted idea that we as women just need to stay where we are and wait for the guy to come talk to us. And then the other thread in singles talk about "independent women."

And lastly, talking to a guy you like do not nullify pursuit from his end. You are just talking. He still need to pursue you.

Chill. You are too beautiful not to.

Love,
N