Disclaimer: PLEASE read ALL of my post and take in everything I have to say. I am NOT saying that love is an 'emotional feeling'. Thanks.
Okay, let me take a different tack here. Romantic love in Christianity has taken such a beating that I wonder if it can ever be revived at times. Sure, that 'fluttery, in-love' feeling that we may have for a new relationship is fleeting, and we should not depend on that when making a choice for a mate. Wait for that to subside before making a long-term commitment. But I see nowhere that is says love is forbidden or even irrational in marriage. My take is that we want to intellectualize everything and say "if my choice isn't being driven simply by my intellect and the advice of trusted family and friends, then it is wrong". Then we marry and say "well, love will come. I'll find myself attached to him/her along the way".
To clarify, I am absolutely fond of my wife. I love her deeply. I feel (not afraid of the word, sorry) fond love and affection for her. If it were merely an intellectual assent to love, then I would have had to think about the next step before marriage.
Let's look at some examples of how Christ loved his bride, how He pursued her and loved her (even when she would not love Him):
"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it!
How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!" (Mat. 23:37).
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruitfruit that will last..." (Jn. 15:16a).
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that
whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (Jn. 3:16).
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this
the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (I Jn. 4:7-9).
Just a few examples. Finally, what is my example to follow?
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself..." (Eph. 5:25-32a).
Now, if I approach that with merely intellectual assent, I will miss the mark. I HAVE to have some idea of how Christ loved the church and be able to display that toward my wife with genuine feeling. I have to have that in my heart toward her or it's all an act.
The love of Christ was a genuine love, not an intellectual assent to love. Christ did not intellectually turn over the tables of the money changers in the Temple. He was zealous for His Father's house. He had genuine feeling. In the Matthew 23 passage above, He was passionate for the return of Jerusalem, to "gather (her) children together" as it were. Revelation Ch. 2 shows his love and passion for the repentance of a wayward church and his encouragement of others to continue in the faith.
If Christ showed this much 'emotion' in love, why do we continue to be afraid of it in marriage and question its worth? We were created with mind, emotions, will, and intellect. If all we have is mind, will, and intellect, we are missing out on an important aspect of marriage; an aspect that God Himself demonstrated while He was with us.
