Is it sin to marry an unbeliever or just unwise?

[proverbswisdom]

I know paul said we shouldn't be unequally yoked but wasn't that more advice than commandment? Because the ten commandments do not enforce this. also what about Ester and king xerses? or Joseph marrying the Pharoah's daughter? How could God bring them to those positions of power knowing they had to marry a non believer if it was sin for them to do so? Should Ester have refused to marry the king and thus forfeit her power to sway the king to help God's people?

Also if it was sin to be married to an unbeliever wouldn't Paul have said when you become a believer you must divorce your spouse or at least separate?

But divorce is sin - or is it? God allowed it in the old testament. Then again God allowing something doesn't necessarily mean it's not sin. David married several wives and had a bunch of concubines which was against the 10 commandment law of not committing adultery/fornicating and yet God allowed him to do that without saying anything. I'm sure God did not approve but he didn't specifically address it.

It's very confusing.

 

[AaronR]

I cannot tell you yes or no, but I will tell you this: my wife married me when I was an unbeliever and she is a Christian. Now I have an immovable faith in the Lord. I would say be careful, marriage is a big deal, but I thought I would share my experiences.

God bless,

Aaron

 

[wtrailer]

Not 100% sure that it is a sin but it is most definitely incredibly unwise.

WT

 

[gracelandz]

I think the analogy of being unequally yoked implies that it's not a wise thing to do. I know nothing about horses or animal driven wagons but it's easy to imagine the consequences of a mis-matched coupling between two animals of dissimilar stride, motivation, or directional tendencies - would have on pulling the same load.

My understanding of the way divorce was explained in the new testament is that it is permitted under certain circumstances, but a divorced person isn't to remarry. I suspect that this would be a theme that many would not want to clarify.

 

[Ark100]

unwise. it can damage you and your relationship with God

 

[andreha]

As it is, marriage is not something to be taken lightly. The only way a marriage is ever going to work out is if we seek the Lord's will. Sometimes a believer marries an unbeliever, who converts, and they have a wonderful life together.

For me, the biggest danger is when children are born to a couple who are not both believers. When arguments arise as to the child's Christian upbringing, real trouble starts...

 

[Life2Christ]

Big trouble arises when you have children and you want your children dedicated to the Lord. The unbeliever will be a roadblock. Also, even if you don't have kids, but you want more time with the Lord and don't want to live an unholy/unrighteous life your spouse may accuse you of all kinds of things like "being superstitious" or "stop being a drag" or "why do you have to be self-righteous all the time" or "you are being riduclous". I can go on.

 

[hedrick]

There is no specific commandment about this. 2 Cor 6:14 is not by either actual wording or context particularly aimed at marriage. It's a general warning that as Christians we have to be careful not to be overly influenced by non-Christians. We have marriages between Christians and non-Christians that have worked out fine, and marriages between Christians that have not. In my view it's a judgement call that is going to have to be based on the particular people involved and their attitudes. Yes, it could cause a problem. So could many other types of difference.

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

are you asking because you are considering marriage to an unbeliever?

 

[Aibrean]

Yes it is a sin. Want to know why? Because a sin, by definition, is anything contrary to the will and Word of God. God doesn't want Christians to marry unbelievers. There is no grey area.

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

It's "do not", not a suggestion. It's a command.

 

[jimmyjam_85]

I think you get into a sticky situation when you are just trying to avoid sinning. Because to me it seems like you are trying to walk a fine line just trying to not tick off god or stay just holy enough to not be wrong.... God doesn't desire this from us.

There are two major types of sins... ommission and comission. Commission is the more simple type... where you expressly do something we shouldn't... IE, taking a gun and murdering a random person. Thats pretty simple and easily defined.

Sins of omission are harder to figure out because it is when we don't do something we know we ought to do. Sometimes these are specific to a person and the convictions of the holy spirit IE... this one is personal to me, If i were to go out and buy a tv for $5,000. Is it a sin to buy an expensive tv? not technically... but does god tell us to be good stewards of the resource he has given us? yeah, so for my financial situation and the needs of those around me buying a 5,000$ tv would be a sin. So even though i can find evidence of people in the bible spending tons of money on non essential things and God didn't convict him of that doesn't mean that it isn't sinful. Do you see the correlation?

I would say what really matters is your heart. I know that if God is the center of my life and i really understand what marriage is suppose to be (an earthly picture of Jesus's marriage to the church) then there is no way that i should marry a non christian. Just because you can find stories of other's sinning and God not condeming them doesn't mean it wasn't sinful. You need to look at the bigger picture. What God desires is a broken and contrite heart. (psalms 51)

 

[miamited]

I'm going with unwise. And if you were born again when you made the decision, incredibly unwise.

God bless you.
In Christ, Ted

 

[bsd31]

First define unbeliever. By unbeliever do you feel Scripture is talking about anyone of any belief except Christian? A specific Christian denomination? Or does unbeliever mean a person who simply does not believe in God. Or as God Himself calls them, a fool?

Personally I'm of the opinion Scripture speaks to the latter.

 

[Life2Christ]

First define unbeliever. By unbeliever do you feel Scripture is talking about anyone of any belief except Christian? A specific Christian denomination? Or does unbeliever mean a person who simply does not believe in God. Or as God Himself calls them, a fool?

Personally I'm of the opinion Scripture speaks to the latter.

No, there are plenty of people who believe in one God who are not Christians.

 

[briareos]

I know paul said we shouldn't be unequally yoked but wasn't that more advice than commandment? Because the ten commandments do not enforce this. also what about Ester and king xerses? or Joseph marrying the Pharoah's daughter? How could God bring them to those positions of power knowing they had to marry a non believer if it was sin for them to do so? Should Ester have refused to marry the king and thus forfeit her power to sway the king to help God's people?

Also if it was sin to be married to an unbeliever wouldn't Paul have said when you become a believer you must divorce your spouse or at least separate?

But divorce is sin - or is it? God allowed it in the old testament. Then again God allowing something doesn't necessarily mean it's not sin. David married several wives and had a bunch of concubines which was against the 10 commandment law of not committing adultery/fornicating and yet God allowed him to do that without saying anything. I'm sure God did not approve but he didn't specifically address it.

It's very confusing.

I do not believe it to be sin, but unwise. I also do not believe divorce is sin in general, when Jesus was talking about divorce I believe he was saying that it is wrong to divorce for the purpose of marrying someone else.

It is not a sin to be in a marriage to a non-believer. Paul specificly gives guidance to saints who are married to non-believers such as don't forbid the non-believer to divorce, if they aren't saved and they want out of the divorce let them go but you should not seek the divorce yourself. Paul instructed saints who were married to non-believers... he didn't just consider them sinful.

 

[briareos]

No, there are plenty of people who believe in one God who are not Christians.

This is true!

 

[briareos]

The other important thing about Christians marrying is that God does not dictate who you marry, you are free to choose who you want to marry.

1 Cor 7.39
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

As long as it is a Godly marriage, you can marry whoever you want.

 

[BFine]

I know paul said we shouldn't be unequally yoked but wasn't that more advice than commandment? Because the ten commandments do not enforce this. also what about Ester and king xerses? or Joseph marrying the Pharoah's daughter? How could God bring them to those positions of power knowing they had to marry a non believer if it was sin for them to do so? Should Ester have refused to marry the king and thus forfeit her power to sway the king to help God's people?

*Kings ruled with all power, if the King wanted something or someone -- it was done. Refusal meant imprisonment or death.

Joseph was a slave who was given an Egyptian name and taught their ways/culture/language but Joseph refused to stop worshiping the One True God.
He submitted to the Pharaoh's authority but not to the point of refusing to worship God. Although Joseph married the daughter of the King's High Priest,
when his sons were born Joseph gave them both Hebrew names.

We also know that Jacob adopted Joseph's sons and blessed both of them.
The Egyptians didn't eat with Hebrews (this was taboo)-- since Joseph ruled second to Pharaoh, he would also rule his within his own home. We read numerous times about Joseph giving testimony about God before Pharaoh and Pharaoh is listening! Not only is Pharaoh listening, he allows Joseph free reign.
Interesting that a pagan King would allow that for someone he knows worships
the One True God! Perhaps Pharaoh didn't remain a Pagan after all? Anyway it's something to ponder.




Also if it was sin to be married to an unbeliever wouldn't Paul have said when you become a believer you must divorce your spouse or at least separate?

*It is unwise to marry a person who isn't a Christian.
For there can be no spiritual harmony in a marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian. (I found that out in my first marriage.)

But divorce is sin - or is it? God allowed it in the old testament. Then again God allowing something doesn't necessarily mean it's not sin. David married several wives and had a bunch of concubines which was against the 10 commandment law of not committing adultery/fornicating and yet God allowed him to do that without saying anything. I'm sure God did not approve but he didn't specifically address it.
It's very confusing.

*God said that He hates divorce, we shouldn't overlook that.
Divorce was allowed due to hardness of hearts and for adultery.

Multiple wives-- God did say in Deuteronomy 17:14-20, that the kings were not supposed to multiply wives (or horses or gold).

David did put away his extra women and he also made a special point of instructing Solomon-- "to do what the Lord your God commands and follow his teachings. Obey everything written in the Law of Moses."

Many of us learn things the hard way like David did-- I also include myself as well.

 

[ValleyWalker2]

Yes it is a sin. Want to know why? Because a sin, by definition, is anything contrary to the will and Word of God. God doesn't want Christians to marry unbelievers. There is no grey area.



It's "do not", not a suggestion. It's a command.

Mybe one should read a little further:

"Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."

So don't even touch an unbeliever or any of there things. That's going to make life difficult.
Since my wife sinned in marrying me, now that I am a follower of Christ did I sin in making her sin? Maybe we are all sinners and must ask for forgiveness constantly.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

 

[Aibrean]

You couldn't sin by marrying her because you didn't know the will of God and you didn't know what she was doing was wrong. Frankly, she should know better.

I did read further. You are pulling it out of context and twisting the message to apply to what you want. It has nothing to do directly with "touching" people. Uncleanliness as from where that verse originally comes from is Leviticus (referenced in Isaiah).

We are all sinners.

This also doesn't apply to couples who were both lost and one became a Christian later.